Author's Note: Hi guys! Sorry for the longer than usual delay, I actually graduated from high school this week so I've been a bit preoccupied and reflective. This chapter is a bit of a teaser as it's a bit shorter than normal. I'm hoping to get working on the next one real soon; I just wanted to share this with you guys in the interim. This tiny update is almost entirely Katniss's inner thoughts and monologue, so while it's not any "Peenis" (forgive me for using that abbreviation) interaction, I think it provides a valuable insight into what's going on with Katniss at the moment. Anyway, thanks so much for reading! Please review and let me know what you think, I absolutely love reading the little notes you leave for me. Enjoy!

After our impassioned make out session, Peeta and I lie in the meadow for a while, occasionally catching the other staring. There's certain tranquility to it and I feel more relaxed and happy than I've felt in recent memory. Eventually, we get up and eat the cupcakes that Peeta had packed for us. At one point he gets a tiny bit of frosting on the edge of his nose and I take it off with my finger before licking it clean. I didn't think much of the gesture before I do it but I realize it probably had some less than innocent implications by the way Peeta reacts, all wide-eyed and blushing.

We reluctantly leave after we spend some more time kissing and continuing to explore how we move together. It feels so natural and the awkwardness that I had felt previously is already fading. Peeta obviously enjoys it, evident in the little noises that come from the back of his throat, adding fire to that ball of heat in my lower belly.

Eventually we see the sun start to set and reluctantly head home. I could spend all day in the meadow with him, sharing lazy kisses and intimate whispers, but I have to be home when Prim gets there.

We linger when he drops me off, us walking to the door hand in hand and sharing slow, sensual kisses on my doorstep. It takes all my strength to pull away and leave him but it's not without big, bright smiles from both of us and promises to do something like this again soon.

Peeta looks the happiest I've ever seen him when he leaves my house; looking downright goofy with the grin he's wearing. His hair is tousled from where my hands greedily mussed it and his lips are extra pink and swollen from the ardent kisses we shared. I watch him leave and then go up to my room, changing out of the dress I had worn.

I think about the date and how well it went, how it went so much better than I expected it too. Yes, there was some awkwardness when I first kissed him but it went away quickly when I realized that he was just as inexperienced as I was. I still can't believe that I was Peeta Mellark's first kiss. The thought makes me smile as I change into a pair of comfortable pants and a loose fitting shirt.

I feel light and almost delirious with happiness, the memories of his kisses playing over and over again in my mind. I can't stop thinking about the way he held my face in his hand or the noises he made, how his amazing hair felt tangled in my fingers.

Everything about this day was absolutely, indescribably perfect and I know that our relationship has changed irreversibly. Between Peeta's passionate confession and the new physical aspect of our relationship, I feel confident in the fact that we're basically dating now. Neither of us explicitly said that we were going steady but knowing Peeta, I know that he takes our relationship seriously.

As I think about our kisses and how easily and rapidly pecks on the lips dissolved into heated making out, I have a feeling that it won't be long until we move onto other types of physical activities. The thought both scares and excites me, given how much I enjoyed being close to him coupled with my naivety.

I've never really listened to school-yard whispers from the older girls or tried to find out what happens in a relationship when two people share a very strong attraction, like Peeta and I do. I know what stern adults have told me, that being that it's wrong for me to do anything physical with a man before marriage. But I don't think it's wrong. Having shared my first kiss with Peeta and the experience of being close to him, exploring him, building a rhythm with him, I think that it's far too natural to be anything but right.

I don't see the point of making myself feel guilty or restricting myself from doing sexual things with him, nor for enjoying it. I would no doubt feel differently if I had done those things with a different man, but I did them with Peeta. I know that Peeta would never, ever, pressure me into doing anything I didn't want to. I also know that he's not going to think less of me for doing those types of things with him and that he's definitely not going to stop being interested in me afterwards.

There are no longer any doubts in my mind about how serious Peeta takes our relationship and how much he wants me. His actions in conjunction with his eloquent words have made his respect and yearning for me very clear. He accepts me for everything that I am, stubborn, independent, and responsible for my sister. He likes all those things about me and while it may be hard to believe that this is all not some elaborate dream, I know he means it; I know he really, truly likes me.

I don't know much about the natural progression of physical relationships. All I know is that there's kissing and then at some point, usually after marriage, there's sex. I don't feel quite ready to have sex yet; the act is shrouded in mystery and confusion. I know that it's a thing that happens and the basic mechanics of it but when the word itself is treated as something to be feared, it's hard to have any idea of how to approach it or what to expect. I'm hoping Peeta has some better idea of it than I do, though I can imagine it'll be pretty awkward to bring it up.

I know that the best approach is to take things slowly, only doing what feels right and natural in the moment. I'm still curious though and have a lot of questions without any places to go for answers. I'm just going to try to forget about it for the time being and deal with any questions I have as they become relevant.

My racing thoughts and the emotionally charged events of the day has left me exhausted, albeit happy and satisfied. I lay down on my bed and close my eyes, my thoughts eventually slowing down enough to let me drift off into a deep, contented sleep.

I wake up as I usually do; to Prim shaking me gently and telling me she's hungry. I get up and make dinner to the usual line of questioning, with the usual level of enthusiasm, which is to say overwhelming. I tell her that he took me to the meadow for a picnic and that it all went very well but that doesn't seem to be enough to silence her.

"Did he kiss you?" She asks excitedly, a melodic lilt to her voice. As soon as I hear her question I blanch, not wanting to lie but also not wanting to tell my little sister that Peeta and I essentially made out for a few hours. Apparently she notices that I stiffen because she smiles knowingly.

"How was it? How long did it last? Did he kiss you in the meadow or did he wait until he brought you home?" She questions in a rush, eager to add to her romantic fantasy of how our date went.

"It was good." I say simply, with no infliction of my tone. I know as soon as I say it that Prim isn't going to let this drop, especially because I just admitted that it happened.

"When did he do it? How long was it? You need to give me details, Katniss."

I steel myself and decide to give her the information she wants so I don't have to endure this line of questioning for any longer than necessary.

"I kissed him when-" I'm interrupted by Prim's loud little-girl voice squeaking out her shock.

"You kissed him? Katniss that's amazing! I'm so glad you finally got the courage to take charge of things a little bit!" Its kind of disturbing talking about this with my sister, let alone that she's so excited about it. I decide to end the questioning by stating the facts and nothing more, not wanting to give her any more material to prod me with.

"Yes, I kissed him. It wasn't that big of a deal. It was in the meadow. It was nice. We both enjoyed it. The end."

She smiles really big at that and I can tell she's picked up on my annoyed tone as she stops asking questions. As we're eating dinner she talks about her play date and what her friend and her did together but the entire time she has that same smug look on her face. She's happy that my relationship is progressing and also self-righteous that she predicted it. My annoyance fades a little, but I'm naturally a private person and don't feel like gushing about all of it.

Everything about the date and the kiss was perfect and very exciting but I don't feel like I can go into detail about it with Prim. I don't want to give her any ideas about us getting married tomorrow and I don't want to share details of the intimacy we shared with my kid sister. I want to be a good role model for her so that she realizes that she can have a positive relationship with a nice man and not have to wait on him to initiate everything. But I also don't want to tell her about it and give her these grand romantic expectations that she builds up in her head. The truth of the matter is that I got very lucky to find someone like Peeta, and I don't want her to settle for anything less than someone who treats her as well as Peeta treats me. But at the same time I don't want her to be so preoccupied with romance all the time. I don't want her to rely on a man to provide for her. I've seen far too many instances of a woman having unexplained bruises or lifeless eyes in my trips to town and it's never any mystery as to what caused them.

That being said, I'm very glad that she likes Peeta. And Peeta is so incredibly good with her. I could never be interested or involved with anybody that didn't like my sister and Peeta's proven that he does. Everything about him is genuine and it's clear he enjoys spending time with the both of us, that he accepts my situation and wants to be apart of it.

By the time bedtime rolls around and I've tucked Prim in, I've replayed our kisses in my mind so many times that I feel that same coil of heat in my lower belly that I felt earlier, the same driving desire to satisfy it. I go to my room and get ready for bed, using my hand to quell the aching at my core and help me find rest. It has been such an emotionally charged and exciting day, I need time to rest so I can process my emotions and think about what should happen next. The thoughts keep running around in my head and the only way to stop them is to give in to that overwhelming desire, not that I don't enjoy it.

I touch myself until I feel that familiar building heat explode inside of me, spreading to my extremities and blanketing me in bliss. I drift off easily after that, thoughts of being snuggled into Peeta's side lulling me gently to sleep.

Sunday passes as it has been for the past few months, lazily and filled with gentle contemplation. I think about my budding relationship with Peeta and the natural fears that surround it. All of this is new to me and I worry about the commitment, about letting someone into my life and giving them the ability to hurt me. It's not just myself who's affected by this either; I have Prim to worry about as well. She is still very young and I have to make sure that she doesn't get too attached to Peeta in case this doesn't work out, something that's proving rather difficult.

I honestly have no idea what to expect when it comes to this relationship and I don't know Peeta's expectations either. Judging by his confessions and sincere nature, I suspect that he probably sees us having a long-term future together. It's not that I don't see that myself, I actually do, which is what scares me.

I remember when I was in the bakery and was flooded with the image of myself and Peeta living together, going about our daily lives in the same home, Prim chattering along happily in the background. It filled me with such a sense of warmth to think about being with him in that way and I know that if I were to be married to anybody, I would want it to be him.

But I'm scared that something will happen. I'm scared that by opening myself up to him and relying on him that I will bring pain upon myself or Prim at some point. What if we break up? I will lose my job, Prim will lose a positive role model in her life, and I will be heartbroken. Not to mention that everyone in town will know and whisper about me, not that I care that much about what they think but it might affect my ability to get a job or trade with others.

I'm terrified about all the ways this could go wrong and all the things I don't know about. I don't know about sex or how to make a relationship work or how to be good enough for someone as amazing as Peeta. I think about what the old Katniss would have done in this situation, what I would have done before I started letting myself have feelings for him.

The old me would have shut myself off and become emotionally unavailable, completely unwilling to be emotionally vulnerable. I would have told Peeta that I think things have gone too far and that I think it's best if we stopped whatever was happening between is. I would have said that to him and he would have been heartbroken, I would have felt empty and depressed, and Prim would have been disappointed. But I would've done it because it's the easiest thing to do; it's easiest to not try to figure anything out, to remain closed off and unreachable.

I think about doing those things and something inside me lurches, leaving me with a terrible, unsettled feeling. Just the thought of not seeing Peeta's smile anymore, not feeling his gentle touches, makes me feel off balance and upset. I don't want to stop this relationship, I don't want to remove myself from someone that has given me so much and who I care for so deeply. It would be easier and possibly best in the long run but I can't do it. And I'm glad I can't. I'm glad that I've changed, that I'm now able to realize that the fear is worth it, that Peeta is worth it.

Being with him feels so impossibly right and perfect. Between his touch and his sweet words and gestures, between the ways he genuinely cares for my sister and respects me, everything about Peeta is right for me. I may not feel like I 100% deserve him but even I know that it would be foolish to stop whatever's happening simply because of my own insecurities.

I feel resolved in my realization, in my knowledge that I have grown and am choosing something that will make me happy, regardless of how it may turn out down the road. I still have anxiety surrounding a number of things, and I need some answers. I decide that I'm going to approach Peeta about them and ask him some questions that I have. Regardless of how uncomfortable it's going to make me, I know that Peeta will answer me honestly and I'll feel better about things afterwards.

I end my weekend with the determination to make this work, to grow and face wherever this relationship takes me. I feel scared and exhilarated but most of all ready to venture into unchartered territory. I'm ready to let myself be happy.