Hey guys! I know this is crazy, having updates to close, like, two in one night? Whaaaaat? But yeah, it actually happened, and I have almost a page of the next one finished (It was really rollover from this one, cause I decided that the next part would make more sense in the next chapter…) But anyway! Thanks to those who reviewed, and yes! I am back, and hopefully will be back for a long time! …or at least long enough to finish this story…
We'd Both go Mad That Way
I managed to get out of the hospital without running in to Alfred of Tim. Nothing would make me change my mind, but I couldn't let Alfred's last memory of me walking out to become everything I despised.
I decided to stop by the Mountain to say goodbye. I wouldn't tell them where I was going—I would let Bruce do that—but I would tell them goodbye, and that they were the best friends I could have, and I wasn't sure when I would be back. Soul searching seemed like the best term to use.
"Robin, B-01" The zeta voice announced.
As I walked into the cavern, the smell of M'gann's cookies wafted to my nose, taking over my senses. Artemis was surprisingly the first person to come greet me, but then again she heard about Bruce before anyone else.
"How is he?" She asked, wrapping her arms around me.
"He's fine," I lied. Well, it wasn't a total lie; physically he was fine, but emotionally? I wasn't sure how he would fare with me gone. Moving out was one thing, but going to a band of psychopathic maniacs was the last thing he wanted for me.
"We were all really worried," she told me as we began walking to the kitchen where everyone was sitting around a plate of freshly baked cookies. "M'gann hasn't stopped baking all afternoon," she half chuckled.
When we reached the kitchen M'gann ran over a hugged me, then proceeded to shove a cookie into my hand. Wally had a stack in one hand and was eating 2 at once. Since the attack of the Light, Wally's appetite didn't change at all. When Kaldur went missing he slowed his eating for a day or two, then he was back to candy and chips 24/7.
"Guys, we need to talk," I said, breaking the semi-awkward silence that we had fallen into.
"What about?" Wally asked, shoving another cookie into his mouth.
"I'm gonna be leaving the Team for a while," I started. All of them looked like they were ready to protest, so I continued. "I won't be gone forever. I mean, I'm not sure when I'll be back, but I need some space. Some time on my own to sort things through."
"Where will you go?" Conner asked, his over-protective big brother side edging to the surface.
"To Haly's," I said. "I'm gonna spend some time with the circus, maybe bring back the Flying Graysons for a while. Or rather, the Flying Grayson…"
"Take as much time as you need," M'gann said, wrapping her arms around me. "We'll be here whenever you're ready to come back."
"Just don't be gone too long," Wally said.
"Thanks, guys," I said. "I'll be back sooner or later."
They all followed me to the Zeta Tubes and said our goodbyes, then they all moved on. All, that is, except for Artemis.
"This is about Bruce, isn't it?" She asked. "About the note."
"Of course not," I assured her. I had forgotten that she was with me when Tim mentioned the note.
"Dick, Tim said 'they wanted you'. I'm not sure who 'they' are, but I know that whoever it is can't be good."
There was no winning now. She knew my ulterior motives to leaving, and there was no convincing her otherwise. "Fine, you win."
"What?" She asked. I knew in that moment that she was desperately hoping to be wrong for once.
"Those people who attacked Bruce, they want me, and they will stop at nothing. They killed someone yesterday, they attacked Bruce today. They're toying with me, Artie, showing me what they're capable of. No one is safe if I stay here."
"So what, you're giving yourself up to them? Dick, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard you say!"
"I never said I was giving myself to them," I told her. "I'm just getting away from you guys. They'll kill all of you just to show me that they can. I'm going to go somewhere secluded, drop off the grid, anything. I can't risk you guys getting hurt because of this."
She looked at me for a minute, looking for my lie and nearly catching it, but then she sighed. "Fine," she said, placing an arm on my shoulder. "But just know that we're going to find a way to stop them. Bruce won't stop until you're safe, and neither will we."
I feigned yet another smile that day, "Thanks for understanding, Artie."
"Just don't do anything stupid out there on your own, got it?"
"Got it," I said, nodding my head.
I turned and walked to the Zeta Tube, taking one last look around Mount Justice. This would be the last time I saw it, and I wanted to make sure to remember everything I could about it. In that moment, I pictured the first year of the Team. Wally and Artemis bickering, Kaldur and Conner sparring with Black Canary watching over the battle, giving them pointers, M'gann in the kitchen, burning yet another sheet of cookies, while Zatanna and Rocket talked about girl things that I never understood. Roy would be off brooding in a corner when he was there, and Red Tornado would be off doing whatever it was he did in his spare time. Sphere would be rolling around beeping and blooping, while Wolf stared at her irritated. The souvenir room had much less stuff back then; Artemis' arrow was gone, though the stand still stood. The green couches were in much better shape, but leaving a bunch of teenagers with new furniture never ended well anyway.
I made sure to remember all the good times, overlooking the bad, like when the Reds attacked and I nearly drowned, or when the League turned on us. When the Court was trying to break me, I would remember Mount Justice, and my Team. My Team.
With a flash of light, I was gone, leaving behind a legacy that would forever be remembered. I prayed that my friends would remember me for the good, and never have to know about what I was going to become. I couldn't handle being a murderer in their eyes, but Artemis would be able to tell them that everything I did, every person I killed, every moment of pain I endured, I did it all for them. I did it for my comrades, who gave me life and something to cling to during my darkest days.
I trekked up the hill in silence. There were dark clouds looming overhead, and I knew the rain would start any minute. No, I wasn't good at determining weather, but the thunder in the distance gave it away. It seemed fitting to finish my goodbyes in the "calm before the storm".
I reached my final destination and stopped short, terrified to go all the way. What would they think of me? I wondered. Would they understand that I was trying to do the right thing?
They always taught me to be a good person, and that was exactly what I was doing—I was giving my life for the lives of everyone I cared about. That didn't seem like such a bad thing to do.
I continued the rest of the way, dropping to my knees.
"I'm sorry…" I whispered, my voice getting louder and shaking as my bottom lip trembled. "You told me to be good… I just… I can't lose them. This is all I can do."
They had to understand. They had to forgive me—I didn't know what I would do if they wouldn't. Everything I did over the last six years—from becoming Robin, to saving Haly's Circus, to stopping the Light from taking over the world—I had done for them. All I wanted was to make them proud and do the right thing, so why did doing the right thing feel so wrong?
I placed my hand on the hunk of rock in front of me, tracing my hand over the engraving.
John and Mary Grayson
Born to Fly