The NES Series:
Hogan's Alley
BAM!
BAM!
Alarms flared and the room was flooded with flashing red light.
"Seriously," Villager said. "Would you stop shooting the cop?"
Olimar lowered his light gun and looked at Villager. "Wait, I thought that was the point of the game."
"No, you're supposed to shoot the criminals."
"Which ones are those?"
"They're the ones that are holding guns and have mean looks on their faces."
"So, just because someone's holding a gun and has a mean look on his face, that makes him a criminal? No wonder the police force has been having so many problems with profiling lately."
Villager slapped his forehead. "No, it's not like that. It's just . . . Oh, just go again already."
"Okay," Olimar said, toggling the controls that moved the cardboard cutout targets along their track. The new set stopped, turned, and Olimar fired at the one in the middle. Alarms blared once again.
"Really?" Villager asked. "You shot the professor?"
"What? He looked grumpy. Plus, he was totally reaching for a gun. Did you see the way he had his hands in his pocket."
Villager rubbed his temples and sat down on the bench behind him.
"Anyway, why do I have to do this and you don't?" Olimar asked.
"Because you needed to work on your aim," Villager said. "Remember how you couldn't even hit the Duck Hunt dog with a rock."
"Don't remind me," Olimar said. He flipped the switch on his control panel again. "So, who's this Hogan guy anyway. Can we put him on our list?"
"No," Villager said. "The name Hogan's Alley comes from a famous shooting range used by police for training."
"Ah," Olimar said. He glanced at the cardboard cutouts and then at his light gun. "So, where did the shooting range get the name?"
"A comic strip, I think." Villager checked his notes.
"A comic strip?"
"Yeah, it was a political satire way back in the 1890s. It was about a group of characters living in the slums. The police called their training ground by the same name because it was supposed to represent a rough neighborhood."
Olimar gestured to the cutouts. "So, these aren't the characters from the strip, are they?"
"Oh, no," Villager said. "These are just characters created for the game. Don't worry."
Olimar breathed a sigh of relief. "Phew. I'd hate to think I was shooting Garfield or Charlie Brown or something. Anyway, last round."
Olimar flipped the switch, turning the cutouts so that they faced forward. Olimar fired off two shots. Villager looked up to see the results.
"Hey, you finally got a criminal for once," he said. "But, um, why did you shoot the lady too?"
Olimar blew on the barrel of his gun. "Because she looks just like a girl I dated once. Believe me, she's a criminal."
Villager rolled his eyes. "Well, at least your aim has improved."