The NES Series:

Wrecking Crew

"Alright, men, let's get to work! You two, newbies, I want those hammers primed and ready to go!"

Olimar and Villager glanced down at the pile of wooden hammers in front of them as the heavyset, bearded foreman sauntered off, shouting at a group of giant living wrenches and men in eggplant-shaped suits.

"So, we . . . polish them?" Olimar asked.

Villager shrugged. "I guess."

The two Smash Fighters bent down and picked up a hammer each, rubbing them down with dirty rags.

"So," Villager said. "How about Wrecking Crew? Mario and Luigi's first starring role on the NES console."

Olimar looked around. "Eh, it's not as glamorous as I imagined. Hey, did you ever wonder what Nintendo's obsession was with eggplants in the early eighties?"

"Eggplants?" Villager asked.

"Yeah. Ice Climber, those eggplant wizards in Kid Icarus, those guys over there. Eggplants were everywhere back then."

Villager considered for a minute, then shrugged. "One of Nintendo's production crew must have really liked eggplant or something."

The burly foreman finished shouting at his men and turned back to Villager and Olimar. He lumbered over to them, a pair of dark shades obscuring his eyes. He almost looked like Wario, if Wario stopped shaving and started a construction company.

"Now," the foreman said, looking them over, his breath smelling of stale beer. "What did you two want again?"

Villager took a moment to respond as he stared at a large mole on the man's hairy face. He cleared his throat. "Um, we're from Super Smash Bros." he said, "and we're looking around for possible candidates for Smash Five."

"Super Smash Bros." the foreman said, scratching his thick beard. "I know that name." He bent down and looked the two Smashers in the eye, studying their faces. Thanks to the shades, it was hard for Villager to tell what the man was thinking. "That lousy Mario and his no-good brother sent you, didn't they?"

"Well, uh," Villager said. "He is our boss, so, um, . . ."

The foreman scowled, showing green, moldy teeth. "I never liked those two. Back in Eighty-Five, those two wrecked one of my construction sites. Boy, if I could get my hands on them."

"Well," Olimar said, surprised to find he could still smell the man even through his helmet, "Put your name down with us and you might get that chance."

"Me roughing up Mario and Luigi in the ring, huh?" The man took off his helmet and mopped his brow with the rag Villager had been holding. "What's the catch?"

"No catch," Villager said. "We put your name on the list, give it to Mario and the other founders, and, if they decide you're important enough to the history of Nintendo, they'll put you in."

"Hmm, sounds a little shady, letting Mario make the call like that," the man said. "But, what the heck, I'll try my chances. Put me down."

Olimar pulled out his pen and paper. "That's Spike with an 'I,' right? No funky X-Men Evolution 'Y''s going on or anything?"

"No, just an 'I.' Now, get lost. I've got work to do."

The foreman held out his hand for the hammer in Villager's hand. Villager handed it to him and he swung it over his shoulder and marched away.

"Well, I guess we better get going," Villager said.

"Yeah," Olimar said. He glanced down at the hammer in his hands and then at some breakable walls nearby. "Can I just do a row first before we go?"

Villager rolled his eyes. "Knock yourself out."

"Yippee!" Olimar raised the hammer over his head and charged at the wall.

"Don't let the foreman catch you," Villager shouted after him.