Later that night I found myself laying in a nicely made up bed and staring up at a white ceiling fan. Sam and I did not feel like making the drive back to Savannah that night and Nicole insisted that we stay with her and not in another run down motel. I had to admit the hospitality was unexpected and comforting. Sammy and I played rock, paper scissors to see who would sleep on the floor in the guest room and who would get the bed. I won, paper covers rock.

It had to be past midnight and sleep still did not come for me. I guess I just had too much on my mind to doze off. I had a lot of information to process in just one day. I fought demons; spirits, monsters and god know what else and never once had trouble sleeping at night. But the thought of having a son just scared the hell out of me. I had spent the rest of the long afternoon trying to get to know Dallas. I played with him and tried to feed him but that did not go very well.

I surprised myself when I let out a soft chuckle at the thought of him spitting his peas and squash all over me. I did not even get a say in what to name my own son. Although, Dallas Dean did roll off the tongue and I liked it. I liked that she had not forgotten about me and handed down my name to my son in a way. I have felt vulnerable before, I felt vulnerable when my Mom died; even though I was just a child, (Although I would never tell Sam all these things) I felt vulnerable when my Dad died but I think this is most vulnerable that I have ever felt.

I closed my eyes and tried to will myself to sleep. I probably did that for 45 minutes and tried 5 different sleeping positions before giving up completely. "Ok, I will just get up and go piss then I will be able to sleep." I swung my legs over the side of the bed and stood up, careful not to step on Sam on my way out of the room. He was sound asleep, the son of a bitch. The bathroom was right next to the guest room, but for some reason my feet walked right past the closed door and stopped right in front of the room on the other side of the bathroom, Dallas' nursery.

I wanted to see him, maybe that would help ease my restless mind but when I went to enter the room I noticed Nicole standing next to his crib. I stopped dead in my tracks not making a sound. "There you go, now my handsome man can get some sleep. Just remember baby Mommy is always going to be there when you need her. I love you to the moon and back plus one trip around the Milky Way." A small smile played on my lips as I listened to her talk to Dallas.

I wonder if my mom talked to me that way when I was a baby. A longing filled my chest and I tried my best to push it away. I was rough and tough Dean Winchester, not some little pansy. Nicole turned around quickly and she had to push one hand against her mouth to cover her scream while the other hand flew to her chest. "Damn it Dean! You scared me half to death!"

I had to hide my chuckle so I did not upset her. "Sorry."

"What the hell are you doing walking around at this time of night?"

"I couldn't sleep" She finally calmed down and a small sigh passed her lips. "I just came to make sure Dallas was ok. I heard him crying, something had upset him, maybe a nightmare. I was going to go back to sleep but after that scare I don't think that will happen." I ran my hand through my hair feeling like a little boy caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "Would you like a drink since we are both up?"

"A beer sounds pretty nice." Nicole brushed passed me and waved her arm in the air. "Come on, I will get you one." We almost silently made our way down the stairs and into the tidy kitchen. Nicole opened the refrigerator door and pulled out two Heineken's. "Is this ok?"

"Works for me" She set the two bottles on the counter and pulled a bottle opener out of a small drawer next to stove. She hesitated for a second before popping the top off of both beers. "I have some Scotch on top of the fridge if you would like that instead." I shook my head. "No thanks, a beer is perfectly fine." She nodded and with a quick flick of the wrist she had both tops off of the bottles. She handed one to me and made her way to the family room.

I slowly followed behind and sat down next to her on the tan leather couch. Nicole took a long swig of her beer before setting the bottle down on the coffee table. I followed her lead but instead of setting my beer down, I held onto it. "How have you been Dean...Really?" That was the one thing I loved about Nikki, she could read me like a book. She always knew when I wasn't okay even when I swore I was.

"I have been alright. Same old shit just a different day. Chasing creatures of the paranormal is a never ending job." She nodded her head as if she was listening to me but her eyes told me her mind was somewhere else. "How about you Nicole….how have you been?" She grabbed her beer and took another small swallow. "I have been good but tired. Dallas has been keeping me busy but he is an absolute joy to have around. I would never trade him for anything in the world. I never really knew love until I held him in my arms for the first time."

An awkward silence fell over the room and soon both of us were just sitting there drinking our beers. "Want to hear a funny story about Dally?" Finally Nicole broke the silence. "Let's hear it." Nicole's face lit up as she began to tell her story. "It was my Grandma's 85th birthday and I was at my parents' house for a formal birthday dinner. Dallas was maybe 4 months old and it was my first time out and about as a parent. I had the diaper bag filled with diapers, wipes, formula, bottles, and a change of clothes for Dally. I was so proud of myself. We were sitting in my parents' living room just chatting and I had Dally on my lap. All of the sudden he had the biggest shit explosion you have ever seen! It came out of his diaper, soaked through his onesie and got all over my skirt. I had remembered everything for him but did not even think to bring a change of clothes for myself! While my parents cleaned up Dallas and watched him, I drove home with shit all over me so I could change and go back to the party!"

I couldn't help myself, I busted out laughing and before I knew it Nicole was cracking up too. We both laughed so hard we couldn't breathe. We only stopped to catch our breath and silence one again filled the room. Nicole finished her beer and set the empty bottle down on the table. "Dean?" Something in her tone sounded serious and I forced my eyes to meet hers. "If I already knew what you did. What you hunted. Why did you leave? You said most of your relationships didn't work out because people never really knew who you were and what you did." The pain in her eyes nearly killed me inside. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt her and she deserved an explanation.

"What I do is dangerous? Nothing is ever guaranteed, including the next day. I cared about you too much to drag you into my lifestyle. I could never forgive myself if anything had ever happened to you because of the way I live my life."

"You never gave us a chance to find out. Maybe things would have been ok…" She spoke her last sentence softly. Almost as if she was talking to herself. Before I could stop myself I was right next to Nicole on the couch. I pulled her against my chest and pressed my mouth against hers. At first she was rigged and startled but soon she went limp in my arms and her mouth was open and inviting. One of her hands snaked its way behind my neck and the other one was resting softly against my chest. She tasted like beer and everything I had missed and longed her. I was pulled out of my heaven by a hard shove against my chest. When I looked at Nicole she had a wild look in her eyes. "No Dean! We cannot do this! I called you here for Dallas and nothing else, nothing else!"

She stood up quickly and muttered a "Good Night". Before I could respond she was out of the room and making her way back upstairs. What the hell was I thinking? I guess she just sounded so vulnerable and in that moment I felt the same way and that feeling just drove me. I let out a groan as I made my way into the kitchen. I found the bottle of scotch Nicole had offered me earlier and a glass. I carried both back to the family room and stretched out on the couch. It was going to be one long ass night.

As always thanks for reading!