Chapter 6 -

Then I gave him a great big hug for being the only man who would bother to think of me as more than a waitress, or telepath, or pretty face. He valued me. For me. That was the best gift I'd ever received.

After I released him and kissed his cheek, I said, "O.K., my turn. Truth or dare, Bill?"

Bill smiled and made like he was about to lunge. Finally!

Then the phone rang.

Shit!

"Don't you dare answer that!"

"I have no intention of answering the phone, Sookie. Not for a long, long while."

That made me shiver. He lunged then, pinning me to the floor beneath him while he planted kisses all over my face, my neck, and down. He'd just started to tease my right nipple when a familiar voice on his answering machine made us both sit up and take notice.

"Hey there, Bill. Look, I don't mean to disturb you, but Jannalynn and I are in a little bit of jam out here in the woods. I tried Sookie first, but she ain't answering –"

Bill grabbed the phone. "Sam, what's happened?"

I watched his face, but he'd switched from Vampire Bill, sex-machine to Vampire Bill I'm-doing-my-best-impression-of-officer-Joe-Friday-just-the-facts faster than you could say 'damn that shifter!'

"Yes, I see. I'm not sure, but I'll go check her place and ask her." He looked at me and winked. I felt grateful that he didn't tell Sam I was there with him. He was true to his word – the choices were mine and I could still back out without a bunch of tongues wagging. Not that Sam would, but his Were bitch might.

"Of course you both can use my facilities, but I would prefer that you grab the old copper tub out of the old slave quarters out back. I'll make sure it's unlocked and I'll bring some hot water. Give me about ten minutes."

Now I was really confused. And curious. What on earth had Sam and Jannalynn gotten themselves into? And why wouldn't Bill let them in the house? That just seemed plain old rude!

"Hmm, I'll do my best, but you know how she is. She'll want to know why."

He kept listening. I could make out Sam's voice, but not his words. I could hear Jannalynn yelling something or other in the back. She had a big mouth. Bill was fighting really hard not to smile.

"No, I don't see the need to alert the pack, either. Just sit tight and I'll be out as soon as I can. Feel free to grab some blankets, too – you'll find some near the tub . . . It's no trouble . . . You are quite welcome."

Bill hung up and looked at me. He was having a mighty hard time keeping his composure. I was getting mad.

"O.K., I know there's no love lost between you and Sam Merlotte, but you could at least have the decency to invite him in. I mean, I can hide upstairs for Pete's sake!"

"It's not that . . . Sookie, do you have any tomato sauce at your house? Or canned tomatoes?"

"Sure. I always can my heirloom tomatoes for gumbo and spaghetti sauce. Why? You planning on expanding your culinary horizons?"

"No," he said, making the same disgusted face he always did when talking about human food. "May I borrow your house key so I can go get it? I may need a lot."

"Why?"

"I'd rather not get into it. Just trust me, alright?"

"I trust you. Just tell me why."

"I'd rather not."

"Then you can't have it."

"I could just take it."

"But you won't."

"Sookie. Give me the key."

"Just tell me what this is about."

"I promised Sam . . ."

"Oh . . . well, then you'll just have to break your promise. Besides, I heard what you said about me! You'll just have to tell him I bullied it out of you." I didn't like knowing that I had that sort of reputation, but if I did, I might as well use it to my advantage.

Bill sighed. "Fine, but please remember that Sam is a man, and as you've pointed out on many occasions, our egos bruise easily."

"I get it. I've known Sam a lot longer than you."

He looked stricken, but spoke before I could take it back, "Also, please bear in mind that Were's have pretty large egos, too, and nasty tempers. I understand you don't care too much for Jannalynn, but don't use this against her."

"What did she do?" I felt a surge of panic and anger. She'd hurt Sam! That had to be it! She'd done something evil, or gotten him mixed up with Were shit so bad that Sam had to call Bill Compton, arguably the last man on the planet he'd ask for help, to get him out of a jam.

"Relax, Sookie," he said, finally breaking down and chuckling. "You have such a protective streak. It's cute, but it also makes you a real pain in the ass sometimes."

I gave his arm a good-natured slug and immediately regretted it. Ouch! But I was laughing, too. "So, you gonna tell me so I can help, or are you going to leave Sam out in the dark all night?"

"Well, Sam and Jannalynn were out running, as shifters and Weres must at the full moon. They find it exciting, and if often leads to . . . other things."

"Oooooh! They were out canoodling in the woods? That sounds like fun!" Hint, hint, Bill!

"I'm sure it was. But they apparently got so wrapped up in canoodling, as you so charmingly put it, that they failed to notice the other creatures in their surroundings."

"What, did one of the get bitten on the ass by a gator?"

Bill, bless his heart, tried to keep a straight face, but he just couldn't. "No, they got too close to a pole cat."

Oh my God!

"You mean, Sam and Jannalynn were out buck naked, doing the nasty, and got sprayed by a skunk?"

"Apparently," he said between snorts, "the damned thing got them pretty good. I don't think you'll be seeing, or thankfully smelling, Sam at work for a few days. Now can we go get some tomato juice and run an outdoor bath for them?"

I nodded between sobs of laughter. I know. It's not right. I should not be making fun of Sam's predicament (though I had no problem laughing at his girlfriend, even if I did owe her for Sandra Pelt disposal). But you have to admit, it was pretty stinkin' hilarious. Literally!

"Um, Bill?"

"Yes?"

"After we help out Sam and the Were, do you think we could come back here, take your phone off the hook, lock the door, and get a little dirty ourselves?"

"Hmm," he said, smiling, "I do believe we've earned it. But I will ask you one more question"

"O.K.," I said, dreading it. I had a pretty good idea what he wanted to know. "What if I don't know the answer, or if you don't like it."

He looked at me with his dark, fathomless eyes – eyes I could still get lost in. "It doesn't matter. I will grant you what you desire regardless, Sookie. I would just like to know is all. But first things first – let's go rescue the shifters from nature and then we'll reward ourselves for our good deed."

A/N – Thanks for all of the wonderful reviews! Here's another shout out to miya and LMTO since I can't PM y'all – thanks!

We're in the home stretch, I promise!

BTW, bathing in tomato sauce is supposed to help wash away the stink of skunk spray - I have no idea if it works, but Sam seems to think so . . .