Note: This chapter has been revised. Nothing's new, it's just better writing.

Disclaimer: Chapter 1 please :)

Death and the Maiden

"Stefan?" I sung while entering Stefan's bedroom to wake him up per my sister's request. Stefan was still sleeping, as expected, but what worried me was why he was thrashing back and forth in his sleep. I chocked it up to a bad dream, but I wasn't about to let him suffer through it. Walking over to him, I shook the Salvatore's shoulders. "Stef! Stefan, wake up!" After one subtle shake, Stefan jolted upright in the bed, causing me to step back cautiously. He looked all around the room in confusion and his entire body was drenched in cold sweat. I swallowed. "Okay...so what did you take before you went to bed?"

"Madeline? How did you...?" Stefan gulped and looked up at me with an arched eyebrow. I copied it, just as confused as he was. How did I...what? All of a sudden, Stefan gasped. "Wait a second, you...you don't remember."

I frowned. "What?"

"You don't remember anything," Stefan whispered, shaking his head in an accusative manner. I looked around the room wearily.

"Uh...duh. I told you the day of Bonnie's funeral." But I could see that something was clearly bothering him, so it bothered me in return. "What's going on, Stefan?"

The vampire took a while before answering. "I remember."

Silence crashed over us as I tried to process his words. Eventually, I crossed my arms. "You...do?" Well, that was unexpected. "Wait, so you remember...everything that Tessa's spell made you forget? A bad dream and it all came flooding back? That hardly seems—"

"Tessa...Tessa gave me back my memories. 'Flooding back' is definitely the wrong terms," he scoffed. We stood there for a moment until I said in a high tone.

"Everything?"

"Everything."

"Oh." Well, there went the one person I could talk to about my problems without judgement. I cleared my throat. "Well, then."

"Yeah..." Stefan trailed off, not really knowing what to say, himself. He took in a deep breath as I extended the coffee cup in my hand. Elena sent me up with it, though I was probably going to come and talk to Stefan regardless of what she wanted.

"Here. I brought you coffee."

"Thanks," Stefan said appreciatively as he took the mug from my hand and wrapped his long fingers around it. He held it in his palms for a while before making eye contact with me. "So...you don't remember anything? Anything at all?"

I shrugged and sat down on the bed, earning Stefan to shift to make room for me. "Well, I had that freaky dream sequence after you fed on me and I...almost died the other day, but other than that, it's just been small things." I shrugged. "I remembered that bear that Bonnie and I traded off every year...I can look at a book and remember reading it...and I remember this house a little. There's also another house..."

Stefan nodded and scoffed. "Yeah, Elena burned that one down."

"I heard. She's...special, that one."

"She's been through a lot," Stefan confessed and threw a pitying glance over at me. "Not that it's a competition, but after what happened before the summer started, I'd say you've been through worse."

From the own coffee cup that I held in my hand, I took a sip. "Yeah, well...tough love. We can't all have rainbows and sunshines, can we?" I smiled sadly and looked down at the caffeinated drink. It took me a while to come out to say it, but I had to. "Y-You're not going to—"

"Tell Damon?" Stefan finished for me, sipping his own coffee. I looked up at him and scowled.

"Well, I was going to say everyone, but—"

Stefan cut me off without fail. "He should know. They should all know, Mads. You might still not remember, but I do now. They deserve to know."

Instead of answering him, I asked a question to cover up the topic change. "Do you remember what happened the night of graduation? You getting put into that quarry? I was there, wasn't I?"

Stefan nodded. "We left Mystic Falls together after the whole...thing happened with Elena and Damon. Silas threw me into the safe and put me in the quarry before he touched you, but you couldn't really do anything to stop it. He must've...sent you somewhere to occupy your time so you couldn't tell anyone I was gone."

I grimaced. "Or I'm in a coma and you're a figment of my imagination," I suggested and sipped my coffee again. Stefan scowled this time.

"Okay, as unreal as this world is to you, it's real to me and everyone else." He paused. "Damon should know, Mads."

I groaned, hating the subject of our conversation. My voice came out more of a whine than anything. "But why? He doesn't need to! I've been getting along just fine—"

"He should know," Stefan repeated slowly, and I started to think that he was some kind of moral conscious of mine. If I looked at things logically, Damon knowing would just sink the boat I'd been grasping to salvage since I entered this universe. Logically, Damon knowing just didn't fit right. Morally, however, Stefan was right—and I could at least acknowledge that. "You still love him, Mads. Love like that just doesn't go away."

"It's not about love," I countered, tightening my grip around my coffee cup as I pulled it to my lips. As I braced to drink, I explained, "It's about logics. Telling Damon will only create more of an issue."

Stefan shook his head. "Mads, you don't understand. It is about love, okay? And as hard as you might try to move on, you've just got to accept the fact that Damon's always gonna be there. Telling him might just fix the problem, not make it fall to pieces."

I almost spat out my coffee. "Are you kidding me? The second Damon realizes I don't really remember much, he'll go on some hero rampage and try to make me remember like Elena did with you." Stefan winced at the memory, and I realized I hit a sore spot. Regardless, I moved on. "Trust me, letting Damon believe what he wants to is better than the alternative."

"What's the alternative?" Stefan and I turned our heads to see Audrey walk into the room carefully, trying not to rudely interrupt. She arched an eyebrow. "Sorry, what are we even talking about?"

"Stefan got his memory back," I announced, getting off of the bed. Stefan saw it as a clear tactic to evade conversation with him, but he knew that once the words were said, there was no going back. Audrey's eyes gleamed with hope.

"Oh, my God. Really, Stefan? It's all you?" she asked, stepping forward. Stefan smiled and took a sip from his coffee.

"Yeah, Audrey. It's all me."

I looked back and forth between the two and found that I was in the midst of an awkwardness as it soared through the air. So, instead of sticking around to make things more awkward, I sighed. "Okay...well...I've got to go...uh, be somewhere." Without waiting for a response for either of them, I exited the room and walked downstairs to find Damon in the parlor sitting alone with an early glass of bourbon. I took the last sip of my coffee and walked into the parlor. "Isn't it a little too early for alcohol?"

"It's never too early, Madeline." He shot me a weak smile and tilted his glass towards me in cheers before draining all the contents inside. I frowned, realizing that something was wrong with him. Setting down my empty coffee cup, I plopped down on the couch beside him and watched as he licked every single drop of the sweet alcohol off of the glass. When he finished, he leaned forward and refilled his cup with a sigh. I stared at him.

"Are you okay?"

"Never better." Damon turned his head to me and gave me a signature smirk, but I didn't believe it. Not one bit. It lacked pizzazz, if that meant anything. Damon's smirks normally had some kind of innuendo-vibe underlay on them. This one was more...bitter. Sad, maybe. Damon leaned back and took another sip out of his cup and, though I knew he saw that I was staring, didn't recognize my presence. I thought to myself a mental pros/cons list of doing what Stefan said I should do—tell him, don't tell him.

Eventually, I admitted defeat. I was tired of lying. "Damon, I need to tell you something."

Damon turned to me, his icy blue eyes glazing over mine. "What is it?"

"Uh—"

"I remember," another voice said, deliberately cutting me off. Damon and I both looked to see Audrey and Stefan walking into the parlor. Stefan looked at me with cautious eyes, and I raised an eyebrow at him. I thought that's what he wanted—for me to tell Damon.

Damon blinked, shocked. "You...you do?" His brother nodded. "Everything?" Another nod.

"What's going on?" Elena asked as she entered the parlor from one of the side entrances this time. Once we all gathered around in seats, Stefan started to tell us about how Tessa gave him his memories back. It was apparently something excruciatingly painful and I could only hope that I didn't have to get that done to me to get my memories back. At that price, staying oblivious seemed ten times better.

Damon, however, didn't believe Stefan's claim. He wanted to make sure that his brother had all of his memories back and that Tessa didn't try to pull some witch voodoo trick on them. He began to prompt Stefan with a series of dates and questions to determine whether or not his brother really remembered...everything.

"October 1852?"

"You...broke my nose teaching me how to throw a right hook."

"But not on purpose, just to be clear," Damon defended himself. Stefan nodded in agreement. "How much did you pay for that hunk of junk motorcycle that you ride?"

"Stefan rides a motorcycle?" I blurted out without thinking. Everyone looked over at me, as did Stefan, but he immediately covered up my slip.

"Yeah...Mads. Don't you remember?" he said, giving me a look. I widened my eyes and snapped my fingers for emphasis.

"Right! Right, yeah. I remember. Sorry, it was just a...mental lapse." Damon and Elena looked at me as if I had ten heads, but Stefan earned their attention back by continuing to answer Damon's question.

"Trick question. You bought me that motorcycle. Although, I'm guessing it was...pretty expensive."

"So...Tessa just gave you back your memories, no strings attached?" Well, I guess Damon finally realized that Stefan really did remember everything. All we had to figure out now was where the hell mine went, but there was no way I was getting Damon involved with that.

"Well, it wasn't exactly a gift. It's a lot to take in all at once. Everything from...blowing out the candles of my first birthday cake to...drowning in a safe." He went silent at the end for a while, leaving us all out to dry. I arched an eyebrow.

"Stefan?" Nothing. "Yoo-hoo...Stefan?" I called, but he didn't answer. A moment passed before Elena stepped forward.

"Stefan?" she repeated. I rolled my eyes. Like that was going to—

The next thing I heard was a loud, sharp sound, and all of a sudden, Stefan's bloody fingers were wrapped around tiny shards as he was brought back to reality. Damon was hesitant, watching his brother and the tiny glass shards that had fallen onto the floor for no apparent reason.

"Whoa! Easy there, buddy," Damon quipped. Stefan looked at his hand, but it was healing fast. Elena got up from the arm of the couch and worriedly looked at the youngest Salvatore.

"Stefan? Where'd you go?" I frowned. He was right here.

Instead of answering the question, Stefan laughed nervously. "All that and I still can't remember my own strength." Damon and Elena exchanged a worried glance, but the beating of the first doppelgänger down in the cellar interrupted the entire conversation at hand. It soon shifted gears as Stefan asked, confused, "What's that noise?"

"Um...well, that is—"

"Amara," I cut Damon off. "The very first doppelgänger."

"Come on." Damon got up from the couch and beckoned Stefan. "Let's go check on her. I'll explain on the way down."

And, with that, Damon and Stefan disappeared down into the cellar. When they were gone, I leaned forward and grabbed some of Damon's bourbon that he left in a glass, and Elena and Audrey both watched with confused eyes as I downed the rest of the contents.

Damon was right. It was never too early for a drink.

Elena paced back and forth as she tried to come up with a plan to stop Silas and his evil plans. Apparently, Damon had called Silas and told him that he wanted Amara dead to put her out of her misery and so that they could spend eternity in the afterlife together. If he wasn't such a dick and didn't send me to an alternate realm or whatever, I might've thought it was sweet.

"We need to buy some more time. Protect Amara. Maybe we should move her somewhere else," Elena suggested.

"Silas is a witch!" Damon retorted. "He's a living, breathing GPS tracking device. He'll track her wherever we take her."

"We can't let him anywhere near her until he brings Bonnie back," said Elena. Well, that was a long-shot. If Silas died, we wouldn't be able to bring Bonnie back from the Other Side, as I had been explained. And as far as I was concerned, Silas wasn't a very friendly person to be dealing with.

"Weren't you listening to anything?" demanded an angry Stefan. "He's not going to bring her back!"

"So, what?" countered my sister with a cocky attitude. "I should just...give up? Come on, Stefan. You got your memory back. You know me...probably better than anyone else. Do you really think that I'm going to give up?"

"What other choice do we have?" I asked her, thinking realistically. Everyone turned to me and I crossed my arms. "Look, Silas is scary. He'll kill every single one of us when he has the chance and he knows that we won't hurt him until we get what we want. There's no other option, Elena."

"I'm not giving up, Madeline," Elena barked through her teeth. I sighed, frustrated, but I could tell that Stefan was more pissed than I was at her optimistic behavior.

"You know what, Elena? You're right. I do know you. You put your hope in all the wrong places." Stefan's eyes flickered to Damon. "And, sometimes, in the wrong people." Ouch. "Silas needs to die and put us all out of our misery."

"So long as he's alive, I'm still holding out hope that he can still help us!" Elena argued. I groaned loudly, burying my head in my hands. Eventually, I came to the point of laughter at her stupidity.

"Don't you understand, Elena? There is no hope! You can't bore him with your morality until he finally gives up and helps us! You can try, sure, but it won't work!" Elena frowned at me, hurt by my insult. I didn't apologize for it and barreled on. "He won't help us and he's made that clear. He locked Stefan in a safe at the bottom of the quarry for three months. He's an enemy, Elena, not an ally." I didn't want to mention the part about screwing with me, but I knew Stefan was thinking of it, too.

"She's right, Elena. I wouldn't hold your breath for hope. Pun intended," he shot snidely. I liked being on Stefan's side. He was sassy. "Silas needs to die and I need to be the one to kill him. End of story."

Stefan said nothing more; he walked away and left me alone with Damon and Elena. Audrey had been called away by Sheriff Forbes, who apparently needed her help with something at home. I thought it was a little unfair how she got to lead a life so much different than the rest of us since she was a year younger. I was almost...envious.

"Wow, Madeline." I turned to find Damon looking at me pointedly with his arms crossed over his chest defensively. "You seem to be really pissed at this guy. Got anything to share?"

I shook my head. "No. Why?"

Damon looked at me with annoyance and just scoffed. I found myself staring, trying to figure out what his problem was. He couldn't...he couldn't know, could he? I didn't tell him! Stefan didn't tell him. Who could've told him? But before I could get an answer or even ask Damon what his problem was, Jeremy came rushing out from the hallway, frantic.

"I know how to save Bonnie!"

"What?" Elena repeated excitedly. "How?"

"Amara," Jeremy clarified. "Amara could see Bonnie and Bonnie could touch her. They made physical contact. It's...it's like Amara's got a foot on each side or something."

Elena held up her hands and knotted her eyebrows in confusion. "Amara exists in both places at once? Here and the Other Side?" Jeremy nodded.

"Then, she's not crazy, crazy; she's just...talking to dead supernatural beings roaming around in our basement," Damon joked.

"The point is," Jeremy rambled on, "if Silas isn't going to help us, what if Bonnie could be the same thing? What if she existed on both sides at once—what if she became the anchor?"

"You're right. Jeremy, you're right. So all we need is for somebody to do that spell," Elena breathed out, relieved.

Damon groaned as she looked back at him with knowing eyes. "Oh, please don't say who I think you're going to say."

"Think about it! Silas wants Amara to die and...Amara wants Amara to die." Damon gave a look of approval at the ironic statement. "So who—besides us—is the one person with the biggest stake against letting that happen?"

"Stefan?" I tried, earning Elena to look at me with pointed eyes. I shrugged in defense. "What? Does he count as an 'us' again or...?"

"Tessa," Damon filled in. "Elena's referring to Tessa, which means that I need to go and make a pitch to her about switching anchors." He gave an exhausted groan and stood up to go to the door.

But because he was going to see Tessa and the thought of her just brought up more questions in my mind, I forgot all about the fact that I'd have to be alone with Damon and just blurted out, "Damon! Wait, I'm...I'm going with."

Damon stared at me for a while before laughing bluntly. "No. You're not."

"Yes." I walked over to him sternly. "I am. Tessa and I have unfinished business. I'm going and even you can't stop me."

I could see the irritation in Damon's eyes, but he didn't say much else. Instead, he turned on his heel and opened the door for me so I could step outside into the sunlight. Damon and I left promptly, not really speaking until we were far enough away from the house that Elena or any other prying vampire ears could hear. To be honest, I was perfectly content upon staying in awkward silence, but Damon decided that it wasn't good enough.

"So...is there a reason you didn't tell me that you don't remember anything or did you just feel like...I don't know, keeping it to yourself for the rest of eternity?" Damon asked in a nonchalantly bitter manner. I looked over at him with alarmed eyes.

"W-What?"

"I know, Mads," he said through his teeth, shooting me a glance. "Silas told me when I was talking on the phone with him. Said something about how he made some witch cast a spell on you that sent you to some...what was it? Alternate dimension or something like that? Apparently, memory loss is a side effect." I swallowed hard. "That's where you were this summer, right?"

"Damon—"

"Why didn't you tell me, Madeline?" I didn't say anything, more for fear than anything. Damon waited for my answer, but I didn't want to give him one. Frustratedly, I let out a groan and caved.

"Because you would try and make me remember again, okay?" I snapped. Damon remained silent, but didn't look over at me. "Because you told me that you didn't want me to forget and that's exactly what happened to me! If you found out, from what I've gathered, you would've pushed...and pushed...and pushed until you found a way to get me out of this. It's exactly what you're doing with Bonnie."

Because of my accusation, I thought Damon would take a second to process it. Instead, he just scoffed as if I had no credibility whatsoever.

"Of course I would figure out a way to get your memories back! There's no question about it! So, what? I have to apologize for wanting you to remember the last two years of your life?"

I chuckled bitterly. "Trust me, Damon. If you were gonna get my memories back, it wouldn't be so I remembered my life, it would be so I could remember you."

"How in the hell is that a bad thing?"

"Because you're selfish and you're controlling and it wouldn't have made any difference whatsoever," I returned logically. Damon looked over at me, confused, as if I was speaking in some foreign language. "We would still be right where we are now—awkward, broken up, and a complete mess."

A silence dawned on the both of us until Damon finally pulled up at Tessa's cabin. He cut off the engine and we both sat there for a moment until he finally said, "Is that what you really want? Just to pretend like the last two years didn't exist? What good would that do either of us?"

A lot, I thought to myself, but I knew how wrong I was. In fact, it was probably the complete opposite of the correct answer. It was my own personal preference that I didn't want to remember, not exactly the right one.

Regardless, I sighed. "Whatever, Damon. I guess you're going to do whatever you want to do, so I'm not gonna argue anymore."

I opened the car door and forced myself outside to get this show on the road. Now, I was starting to regret going with Damon to Tessa's, but I knew that this was the only way to figure out what the hell she meant by "Pure Blood" when she mentioned it at the Historical Ball. But before I could even pick up my feet and step twice, Damon flashed in front of me and cut me off, causing me to stop in the middle of my tracks. I looked up at him to see his blue eyes ice over.

"You know what, Madeline?" he growled angrily. I stepped back. Shit. I poked the bear. "You're right. I am selfish and I will do whatever the hell I need to do to get your memories back whether you like it or not. Because that's who I am. I want you to remember every waking second with me because, otherwise, the entire point of the last two years I spent in Mystic Falls would be a complete waste. So after we deal with Silas and get Bonnie back, you can bet your ass that I'm getting those memories back."

He hissed the words, his voice so punitive that it made me shudder. His breath was on my throat when he stepped closer, and I swallowed hard to try not to show him how bad I was cowering from him. But I couldn't let him control me this time—he couldn't just boss me around like this and think he can get away with it.

I straightened to face my fears. "And if I don't want them back? What are you going to do, tie me to your bed and never let me leave?" Damn it, I didn't have any filter at all, did I?

For some odd reason, Damon smirked. I wanted to ask why he was so overjoyed at my threat, but he moved on before I could say anything. "I guess we'll cross that bridge when we get to it, won't we?"

I wanted to respond, but he turned on his heel and left immediately after saying this to me. His fist rapped on Tessa's door until she finally answered it, practically swinging the cabin door to face him.

"I was hoping we could talk," Damon began.

Tessa stared at him with irritation lining her pupils. "And I was hoping you were my Chinese food. Goodbye." She tried to shut the door on him, but his hand reached out and he stopped it from slamming in his face. It swung back open on his own accord and Damon continued relentlessly.

"You remember Amara, right? Brunette. Brown eyes? I'm surprisingly not in love with her."

Tessa turned and walked into her cabin. Damon and I followed in. "What about her?"

"She took the cure, she wants to die, and we have her," Damon filled the witch in. Tessa turned back at us, incredulous.

"But she's alive?"

Damon scoffed. "For now. Silas is literally on his way to kill her. He's completely obsessed with destroying the Other Side so he and Amara can live happily ever after in the great beyond," the vampire mocked. Tessa scowled at him and so he just pointed accusingly. "See, that's what I thought you'd look like. So how would you feel about making us a deal?"

Tessa debated it for a moment before finally accepting, "I'm listening."

"So, here's my pitch," Damon started. "In order to keep the Other Side in place, you need something powerful to anchor the spell, right? Like an immortal being powerful. Now, Amara was obviously a great choice until she downed the Cure." Tessa poured herself some tea out of a kettle as Damon paused and finally finished, "So would you consider somebody who's dead and stuck on the Other Side a viable candidate?"

The witch turned around sharply. "An anchor swap?"

"Because we've got a volunteer," he continued.

"I'd be making a ghost a human tollbooth between our side and the Other Side, giving her power to interact with our physical world and the supernatural purgatory!"

"Right," I voiced next to Damon with a shrug. We knew that already.

"So what's the problem?" Damon pressed. Tessa widened her eyes and scoffed.

"I need a massive amount of power to do a transfer spell like that!"

Damon didn't hesitate. "Fine. Name your poison."

Tessa thought it over for another minute before her eyes drifted to me and settled. I felt uncomfortable under her gaze, but I was hoping she was just staring at me for inspiration or something. Instead, I caught onto exactly what she was going to say just moments before she said it.

"Her. I'll need her."

I sighed and rubbed my head. "Oh...sweet Jesus, does this mean I'm going to lapse into that scary coma thing again?" I really didn't want to spend another day reliving old memories.

Damon ignored me and snorted at the witch before us. "Absolutely not."

Tessa frowned. "You said to name my poison, and I named it. She's got a substantial amount of power in her blood. It's the easiest option."

"I said no."

I looked over at Tessa and ignored Damon's rejection. "Will I die?"

Tessa's head moved side to side. "No. I'll make sure to leave enough so you'll come back."

Damon groaned. "What is with you and Madeline's blood? You're not getting it, okay? I don't know what you think she can do, but she can't do it. She's not supernatural, she's a human."

Tessa frowned. "Now that's where you're just plain wrong, Damon."

"What do you mean, I'm wrong—"

"I'll do it," I interrupted, cutting Damon off so that Tessa and Damon focused on me. A smile hinted at Tessa's lips, but Damon looked back at me like I was crazy. I nodded at Tessa. "As long as I don't die, I'll do it. But after that, you and I have to have a serious talk about this."

"No." Damon turned around at Tessa and shrugged. "She's not doing it. Name something else, she's off limits."

"Damon," I deadpanned. "Relax. I'll be fine. I'll do it."

"No. You won't," Damon snapped at me, his tone ice-cold. Now, I was getting sincerely pissed off.

"Yes, I will." He reached down and gripped my arm tightly and forced me to look up at him.

"Madeline, I said no."

"Fuc—" I almost cursed, but I was interrupted by Tessa, who stared at the two of us and chuckled.

"Trouble in paradise?" she remarked. Damon and I looked over at her with cutting gazes and she just laughed, amused. Finally, Damon released his grasp on my arm, but he wasn't going to let me do this. I realized what once he moved on without a hitch.

"What else can you use?"

The witch sighed, disappointed. "Well, the moon's not full. And I don't think there's a worthy comet for a couple billion years."

"Think hard!"

Another moment passed before Tessa gasped. "Doppelgängers. They're powerful, mystical, naturally occurring."

I snorted. Like Damon would let his precious Elena—

"You want doppelgänger blood?" Damon proposed, serious. I looked over at him. What in the hell..."I've got doppelgängers coming out of my ears! How many you want?"

While Tessa, Elena, Katherine, and Amara went into one of the rooms in the boarding house to do this magic transfer spell that could've easily been simplified if Damon let her use my blood, I sat on the couch in the parlor and drank Damon's bourbon out of my own glass. It was strong—way too strong—but I needed it after the crappy day I'd had. Even after all of this, I still wasn't able to get an answer from Tessa about Pure Bloods. I could only hope that she could grace me with her wonderful presence after Bonnie became the anchor and all was right int he world again.

It was about halfway through my first glass when I saw Damon enter the threshold of the parlor. This caused me to lean forward and pour some more into a glass just as he walked into the room. I leaned back and took a gulp of the alcohol, letting it burn like hell all the way down my throat.

"Are you drinking bourbon?" Damon asked me suspiciously. I nodded, but didn't look at him.

"Uh huh."

"How odd," he murmured to himself. This caused me to look up at him as he hovered over the couch in front of me. "I would've just thought that, with your memories gone and all, you would be reset and everything. Somewhat of the girl I met two years ago."

"Was she boring or something?"

Damon chuckled. "Or something." I shook my head in disbelief and scoffed as I took another sip of the bourbon from my glass. He sighed at me and sat down on the couch. "How long are you going to be mad at me, Madeline?"

I shrugged. "I'm not mad. Peeved, yes, but not mad. It's your own fault that we could've been done with this an hour ago if Tessa just used me as her catalyst. Apparently, my blood is...special."

"Special how?"

"That, I don't know. I didn't really get to talk to her about it." The two of us sat on the couch in complete silence, neither one of us looking at each other but rather looking forward. I felt uncomfortable, but I also felt like this was different. There was something peculiar about the way Damon was acting, as far as I could tell.

"You know, I'm a bit curious." He looked over at me at last, but I didn't move my own eyes. "What do you remember about this place? About me?"

I chuckled. "I don't remember anything," I lied. "I thought Silas told you that."

"No, Mads. You're lying to me." I finally turned to him with a sharp gaze, pleading him silently to not push this too far. But, knowing Damon, he would do the exact opposite of what I wanted. "That day I called you while you were at Whitmore, you asked me if I remembered when I was close to death because of the werewolf bite. The one Tyler gave to me. The one that you shouldn't remember if you don't remember anything."

"I..." I exhaled heavily, tired of the lies. I didn't finish my sentence, causing it to be an admission of guilt.

Damon urged, "What else do you remember, Madeline?"

"Nothing."

"You're lying."

"No, I'm not."

"Madeline—"

"Don't you 'Madeline' me!" I jumped up from the couch abruptly. I didn't know where this was coming from, but there was an anger that rose inside of me like I've never felt before. Damon leaned forward on the couch, almost in recognition of this type of anger. I fumbled for words, but eventually stammered upon, "You know...why is it so important for me to remember, anyway? You got what you wanted—Elena. If anything, you should be happy I don't remember you so that I can't get in the way of your stupid relationship with her. Because you are that selfish, aren't you?"

Damon said nothing, but I couldn't tolerate staring at him anymore. Despite the fact that he was easy on the eyes, I was growing outraged just staring at him. But underneath the surface, I knew it wasn't outrage, it was despair. I knew that I was secretly hurt because he slept with my sister and then started a formal relationship with her. I could feel hot, angry tears come up in my human eyes and I began to flee the room immediately upon feeling them rise. Instead, as I moved towards the parlor of the door, I felt someone grab my forearm and pull me back.

Damon's hands were suddenly around my face and he was kissing me, crushing his lips on mine as if he owned the right. I stumbled into him, sort of confused. Wait a second, wasn't this wrong? Wasn't he with my sister? Nonetheless, my lips disconnected with my brain signals and I found myself kissing back involuntarily. It was nothing like the unbelievably passionate kissing that we'd partaken in at the Whitmore campus. It was something deeper; something real. Then, it was just a trance. I didn't want to kiss him back then, I was just hung up on Silas's compulsion-like orders.

But I wanted to kiss him back this time. And when I did, I found myself completely in awe. Once again, a prime example of how kissing Damon in a dream was completely different in real life.

From what I've relived, I'd never seen him kiss me this way. He kissed me like he meant it, like he had something to prove to me. I should've pulled away—I wanted to, somewhere in the back of my mind. But like I'd said before, I completely lost control. Besides, shouldn't I be entitled to a little infidelity of my own? After all the shit I'd been through? Kissing Damon was my right, I believed. Besides, I didn't even start it.

Maybe I wanted to remember him. Maybe I wanted to...to continue this with him.

Before we could get anywhere worthwhile, the lights blew out, immediately striking panic between the both of us. I pushed him back gently, just enough so that I was getting air. We couldn't all be vampires.

I gulped and looked around. "The lights went out."

"Something must've gone wrong with Tessa's spell," Damon breathed out. "I'll go check on them."

I could feel Damon straighten and remove any body part of his from mine, leaving me overwhelmed with conflicted emotions. Ecstasy. Guilt. Anger. Ecstasy. Guilt. Despair. I sat down on the couch and waited for anyone to come back. A bunch of thoughts were running through my mind, and I knew that I probably should've checked on someone and helped. Instead, I found myself just sitting there. Besides, it was too dark to see a damn thing in the house. Even compared to another human, I had terrible eyesight.

But when I saw a candlelight mid-air, I stood up abruptly. Stefan was behind said candlestick, waiting for me with somewhat of a sadistic smile. I knew there could only be two options.

"Stefan?" I asked hopefully.

He laughed. "Try again, sunshine." Shit. Of course, Silas grabbed me.

"Where the hell are you taking me?" I asked as Stefan's doppelgänger dragged me outside of the house by the back of my shirt. We walked briskly out into the cold air, and I was practically stumbling alongside him. Silas kept me upright, refusing to let me trip over the forest floor.

"My doppelgänger seems to have gone rogue. Took my one true love straight from this house and is demanding to see me. I figured you'd be good enough leverage."

I let out a deep sigh. "What is your infatuation with me?" I said, hissing through my teeth. "You were the one who screwed with my life and messed with my head, aren't you?"

"Guilty." Silas's voice was sharp and melodic-like. I wanted to ask a question, but he answered it without me saying anything. Didn't have to be a telepath to know my question. "I sent you to an alternate realm for the summer so that you could come back as a Pure Blood. As a Pure Blood, you'd be able to turn me human. I brought you back just in time, not that you thought this was anything but a dream. It's proper etiquette to inform you of your condition, but I just didn't care."

While Silas explained this, he shoved me around the forest. I arched my back, trying to get more comfortable as he pushed me around. Finally, I asked the question I knew any sane person would ask.

"How do I get my memories back?"

Silas laughed for a long time, causing me to grimace at him. Finally, we came to a stop in the middle of the forest and he spun me around so that I was facing him.

"You don't." Using my human body like a play toy, he tossed me to the side so I stumbled in the forest just beyond the Salvatore property line. Silas pointed at me accusingly, and I realized that the time for questions was over. "Now stay there or I will kill you."

Trust me, I wasn't one to hear a threat and pretend it didn't exist. Especially if it came from scary people. I stayed where he asked me to and was only left to watch as Silas turned to a whimpering girl tied to a tree—the doppelgänger, Amara. Without a second of hesitation, Silas breathed out her name and tore her ropes clean off and took the tie tut of her mouth. I watched as the both of them put their hands on each other's faces and stared at each other for a long while.

"I loved you," Amara whispered. "I still do. But I can't live any longer. Please understand."

Silas looked like he was about to break. How could a man that screwed with my memories so heartlessly be so...full of sadness? The couple tilted their heads toward each other in a near-kiss, but they didn't seal the deal. They stood there for what felt like eternity, and I actually found myself empathizing with them, which was more than strange.

"I understand," Silas said, breathless. "I love you."

Amara nodded at him and gave him a look, as if she was telling him that she was ready. I wanted to intervene—I wanted to stop him—but what could I do? Silas said he'd kill me and I knew he would. Damn it, Stefan! Now's not the time to crap out on me...

Without removing their eyes from each other, Silas took out a knife and held it to her throat. I gasped behind them, sealing it with my hand so that I didn't make much noise. No. He couldn't do this—he couldn't kill the woman he loved, could he? How wrong was that? Even I knew that it was wrong. I watched him hesitate while Amara stood there, ready to die. But he refused, and I didn't blame him. I wouldn't kill the person I loved even if they wanted me to.

Then again, I didn't spend two thousand years as a stone talking to dead people.

"Silas, please. I-I'm ready," Amara begged.

And, though I watched as it killed him to do so, Silas pressed the knife to her throat. There was a line of blood dripping as he cut her, and I observed in complete horror. It was sad—terrifying, actually. I waited in anticipation as the knife dragged on.

But before Amara's inevitable ending, there was a fast flash. I hit something behind me, and without knowing it, I fell into a pit of darkness.

God damn it.

I woke up on the forest ground, a throbbing pain on the side of my head. I rose groggily, and I could feel that there was a small wound on the side that I'd been stricken before I fell into a state of unconsciousness. My hair was unevenly spread to one side, my neck exposed to the cold air while I came to terms with the foggy world. I was lying next to a tree—that much I could gather.

Did I run into a tree? Did someone throw me into a tree?

I straightened and felt the blood rush downward to the rest of my body, causing me to become light-headed. I was unable to suppress a moan of pain, and without knowing it, I felt someone's arms around me.

"Hey." The voice was a whisper—whose voice, I'm not so sure. In attempt to put a face to the voice, I forced my eyes to open wider. A spinning, blurry version of Damon stood over me, his cold hands extended on what I assume happened to be my face. As I was regaining feeling in said cheeks, I knew I was correct. I groaned again, involuntarily. Something in my head throbbed. I felt so sore.

Maybe someone had thrown me into a tree.

"Damon?" I grumbled, finding that to be the one word in my vocabulary. My vision became sharper and I saw Damon survey me, looking from my head to my toes.

"Shh," he hushed. "We need to get you inside. I think you might have a concussion or something."

I ignored him. "Silas. Silas took me. He needed me as leverage because Stefan took Amara..." I trailed off, suddenly realizing. My head turned against the force of his hand. I brought my own hand up unconsciously to touch Damon's cold one, allowing me to resist. I couldn't see Amara or Silas anywhere in the forest. "Wait a second, where's Amara?"

Damon gulped and gently guided my gaze to his. "Amara's dead, Mads."

"And Bonnie?"

"I don't know," he confessed. "I'm serious, though. We need to get you back inside." This time, I didn't resist him. I nodded, knowing that he was probably right. There was lightness and pain inside of my head that shouldn't really be there. Damon helped me up from the floor and I stumbled into him, unaware of how weak I was. Goddamn tree.

"Whoa," he warned, concern tracing the outline of his eyes. "Madeline? Are you all right? Look at me."

"Shh," I hushed him, his voice making it harder on my head. Damon silenced and I sighed, straightening myself. "Yeah. I'm fine, I just...I'm just..." I stopped short and suddenly felt much better. Time rolled on—a minute, two minutes. I wasn't sure. However, I knew that eventually, I found myself captivated and compelled by Damon's ice-colored eyes and I whispered, "What was that?"

"What was what?" he asked, looking all around him as if I had heard something he didn't. Which, in fact, was quite impossible. I shook my head and squeezed his wrist that was right in front of me.

"No. I meant that." Damon returned his gaze to me, but was still puzzled. God, he couldn't take much of a hint. "You kissed me...b-before all this happened. I'm just a little confused."

Damon stared into my eyes, and I saw him confused for just a split second before he laughed. "You always pick the worst times to do these kinds of things."

I dismissed it quickly. "I just...I need to know, okay? Was it a mistake?" I would hardly blame him if it was. As it seemed, the both of us got caught up in the moment quite often. Damon looked down at my lips, something a little surprising and, oddly enough, not uncomfortable to me.

His voice was but a whisper. "No. It wasn't." Before I could interject, he jerked his head back to the house. "Seriously. Come on. I didn't get a chance to see if anything was broken and we need to do something about your head." His thumb brushed across the cut on my forehead, and I winced and hissed. Damon apologized to me quietly before he pulled me with him and we headed back to the house. He kept me upright, making sure that I didn't suddenly collapse or something.

When we tried making our way back to the property, Damon and I found ourselves upon Elena and Stefan, Stefan with a shovel by his side. The two were staring at each other intensely.

"I wanted it to be you," Stefan admitted, looking at Elena. Elena hung her head in shame and Stefan looked back at the two of us who crossed it back. But, though he caught my gaze, I knew he was talking only to Damon and Elena. "I wanted it to be both of you."

The pain that Damon and Elena caused was not just to me, I realized. It had some effect on Stefan, too. Maybe not in the same way, but there was still the idea. I would've definitely gone to look for him, I hoped, if I hadn't been in an "alternate dimension" all summer. But that was hardly anything compared to what Stefan had to go through while his ex-girlfriend and his brother were sleeping together.

Elena turned around to see the two of us, and she widened her eyes at my dirty, broken condition.

"What happened?" she asked, completely dismissing Stefan for a moment. She looked up at Damon. "Is she okay?"

I'm right here, I thought sourly, but instead just rubbed my head. "I'm pretty sure someone threw me into a tree."

"Sorry about that," someone spoke, and I looked up to see Stefan with a sheepish expression. I grimaced at him, but I knew I couldn't be mad at him for some strange reason. "I didn't want you to get hurt. Knocking you out seemed like the best way to keep you out of it so I could kill Silas without him using you as leverage."

I wanted to say I didn't understand, but I did. I really did.

"Is it over?" I asked at last. Stefan fell silent.

"I don't know," he confessed. Another silence. "Your memories?"

I shook my head and flickered my gaze towards Damon, who was impatiently awaiting an answer. He would be so disappointed, I realized. "No. Silas said I wasn't going to get them back. I'm stuck like this."

"What are you talking about?" Elena scoffed. "What memories?"

"Later, Elena," Damon said softly, turning away with me in his arms. I had no choice but to oblige him as he took me back to the house, leaving Elena and Stefan behind.

As always, I appreciate every single one of the reviews that come through in this story. You never cease to amaze me. Keep it up!

Love,

BellaSalvatore1918

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