Author's note: Blame Gunlord.
Doom came in an unexpected form for Naruto. The first thing he saw was a dragon unlike any he had ever seen, covered in obsidian scales and angry red veins. The more surprising sight, however, was the beast's rider. She was a beautiful young woman no older than 17 or 18, wearing a short black dress. She was reclining on the creature's head, legs crossed and one hand calmly massaging her pet's ear. Dark satin draped over her features while a white bodice hugged her like a second skin. A small golden bell jingled quietly on her neck every time she tilted her head. The black ribbon in her hair created the illusion of cat ears, but her long silver hair made her appear even more inhuman. A strange combination of frills and curves, she vaguely resembled a French maid.
In other words, she didn't look like anything that belonged in Konohagakure.
Her eyes flickered as she glanced intently toward Naruto, changing to reptilian yellow and revealing the girl's mixed lineage. For a brief moment, two sets of dragon eyes gazed into his soul.
The girl waved to her side, causing a transparent square to appear in the air beside her. Some sort of arcane script appeared in the square, moving time she flexed her fingers. It was like she was reading through a spell book that didn't physically exist.
"Let's see," the girl muttered aloud as she scrolled through her box. "Ah, Ninja World. Looks like you guys have some pretty bad balance issues. Flagged for clean-up 3 days ago." She turned ominously toward Naruto. "And you must be that fox guy I picked up in my system scan. You're kind of small for a high-risk anomaly." She stopped to scratch her head.
"Oh, right. I keep forgetting this 'official' stuff. Uh… your ceaseless quest for power is an insult to the Great Creator. Now you must be punished for your blasphemy. You cannot be saved, yadda yadda yadda." She conjured a half-hearted fireball and tossed it his way.
Naruto couldn't begin to comprehend what the girl was saying, but he knew it sounded threatening. He slowly stepped back and prepared for the fight of his life. He was interrupted by someone playfully tapping him on the shoulder.
The girl was now standing inches beside him. In a double-take, he frantically glanced back and forth between the giggling girl and her silent dragon companion, trying to deduce how she could move so quickly when she had just been in front of his eyes. In frustration, he focused on the closer opponent and made his first—and only—attack.
He stopped when something stabbed him in the back. In shock, he looked down to see the tip of a metallic spear had impaled him through his back and exited through his collarbone. He watched the spearhead transform into the girl's hand while it was still stuck in his chest, adding to his horror. She had moved around him in another act of impossible speed and used demon-magic to turn her own arm into a weapon. He tried to speak in his dying breaths.
"I don't... believe it..."
He believed it when the dragon lurched forward and bit down on his head, ending his life's struggle with a sickening crack. The girl casually removed her fist from the hole in his windpipe, then whispered the incantation for a fire spell that cremated his corpse. Naruto Uzumaki was erased forever.
By this point, the other ninja in the village had noticed the arrival of the dragon and the strange girl, and they began an assault of their own. Kakashi attempted to flank the girl, but he was swallowed by a volcanic rift in the ground the moment she snapped her fingers. Kiba fell over dead for no particular reason when she pointed at him. The girl winked at Sakura, causing every cell in her body to dry out and disintegrate into dust. Rock Lee charged the dragon, but three more beasts spawned out of thin air and burned him alive in a wall of hellfire. Hinata tried to jump on one of the dragons, but she was blown into the sky and smashed back against the ground when the girl conjured a tornado.
Sasuke slowly lost his sanity as he watched the carnage unfold. His palms clenched his temples as he stared vacantly into space.
"What the fuck is happening?!" A single enormous bolt of lightning answered his question, reducing him to a smoldering crater.
The others didn't live long enough to be mentioned.
When the fighting stopped, all that remained were the girl, her flying minions, and death. But she still wasn't finished. She reached forward, causing a crescent-shaped staff with a small cat trinket to appear in her hand. The dragons circled through the air like vultures as she raised her staff and performed a short incantation dance. With a little twirl on her toes and a sly shake of her hips, she doomed the entire planet. Her spell conjured an apocalyptic ice storm that started in Konohagakure and spread outward until it consumed everything in the Ninja World. She decided annihilating the world with a global flash-freeze would be a nice change from the usual planet-wide meteor storm. The Creator would praise her all the same as long as she got the job done.
After the spell had run its course and rendered the world uninhabitable, the girl conjured her floating box again. She moved her hand through the spell book until she stopped on a specific phrase: Redeemer dot EXE. An angel descended from from the storm clouds and landed in front of the girl.
"I'm finished, Ms. Lansfeld." The girl spoke to her celestial master. "These guys will be cooling off for a while."
"It's just me this time, Sophie. Hic." The angel spoke in a bored female voice. "Blair's busy in one of her board meetings. She's probably discussing the ethics of converting your spleen into a nuclear defense system or something. Er… good job, I guess? Hic. Damn, where's that cooler? I can't put up with this 'system purging' shit unless I'm hammered."
The front of the angel split open to reveal its spacious mechanical interior.
"Come on in. I'll run a diagnostic while I'm transporting you. I'll feel better once I know you're doing okay. Not that they haven't completely screwed you up as it is. Hic."
The girl stepped inside. The angel closed around her and disappeared, leaving only a flurry of feathers and snow.