Hey guys! First off, sorry for the late-night update. Secondly, I'm sorry it took me so long to get this one out. So...I'm completely done with TVD right now (not really, I just get really pissed off at this show). You know, 5x16 just made me so angry/sad. I cried for about an hour after the end...I think you can all realize why. But, whatever, I'm over it now...more or less. Whatever, I actually was able to sit down and write this chapter so that's saying something.

Enjoy the chapter...drastic change in this one, hold on tight. By the way, there's a polyvore set for this chapter...it's not a big deal or anything I just felt like saying it.

Disclaimer: Chapter 1 please :)

Total Eclipse of the Heart

Katherine was putting the finishing touches on her outfit for the day as I stepped out of the shower, fully dressed, my hair wrapped into a towel on top of my head to dry it a little more. Once I stepped out of the still steaming restroom, Katherine turned around to look at me as I chucked the box of hair color in the garbage. "Glad that's over with," I chimed.

Everything had been so much…simpler since my breakup with Damon. I no longer felt anything towards him…no guilt, no pain, no sorrow. Not even anger. I felt…neutral, which was good for once. I could start focusing less on my relationship with a cold-blooded murderer and start focusing more on my glorious life as a twenty-year-old college student, ready to see what the world has to offer.

I was on Katherine's side now, I lied for her, I did her bidding, I pretended like she was my sister every second of every hour. But she was only trying to do what was best for her...for me. I understood that.

Or…well, did I?

Katherine gave a girlish giggle. "Wonderful," she agreed happily, turning to look at her reflection in the mirror. With a blissful intent, she sighed, "Life is wonderful, isn't it?" She turned around at me. "I mean…I'm Elena now, which means everyone adores me and I'm immortal again and…well, you're finally free."

"Yeah, but…" I couldn't help but feel like, if I didn't ask her this question, it would all come crumbling down. And, after all, I was her ally. "What if they find out? What if…what if they realize that you're not Elena? Or—or that there's something wrong with me—?"

Katherine flashed over to me, making me jump in the slightest. "But there's nothing wrong with you," she said, staring deep into my eyes. I tilted my head and smiled.

"You're right," I said, half-scoffing at my stupidity. "There's nothing wrong with me," I agreed optimistically.

"And they won't find out I'm Elena," Katherine assured me, smiling. "Once I get Stefan to fall in love with me again, he'll fall so hard that it won't even matter if I tell him that I'm Katherine. But…of course, that's if," she pointed out. "Because, at the rate things are going now, I'm never going to stop being Elena."

"Right." I nodded in agreement and gave her a light smile, which Katherine returned generously. But, then, in my back pocket, my phone buzzed slightly, and I reached behind me to get it. Pulling it out, I saw the reminder about my first class of the day. "Okay," I sighed, "I better start blow-drying my hair. Classes start in an hour," I reminded.

"Ugh," Katherine groaned. "Classes." But, with a shake of her red-ridden hair, she viciously smiled at me. "Now come on!" she exclaimed excitedly. "Let's see how it came out!"

I laughed, shaking my head at her in teasing disbelief, before I turned around to face the full-length mirror in our dorm room and flipped my head down so that I could take the white towel off of my head. With the towel off of my head, I flipped my hair back up and combed my fingers through it, making it look presentable, even though it wasn't fully done yet.

Katherine and I stared at the wet, golden strands of hair that dripped water down my back. But this new coloring wasn't done accidentally…no, in fact, it was done on purpose. I needed a change, and this was what it happened to be. And, in spite of how I felt about dying my hair blue, I actually liked this change.

Blonde, I thought in my head as I studied my image in the mirror. Not too shabby.

"It's perfect, don't you think?" Katherine said, eyeing my freshly colored hair. I let a smile slide onto the corner of my lips.

"Yeah," I agreed. "It is."

I didn't get to show off my new hairstyle to Caroline and Bonnie until our third class of the day, which we all had together—me, Bonnie, Caroline and who they thought was Elena. When we met up to go to classes, Bonnie and Caroline almost didn't recognize me at first.

"Oh. My. God," Bonnie said slowly, taking in the radiance of the light-colored hair on my head. "No way!"

"What the hell did you do to your hair?" Caroline asked in a high-pitched voice, but the question came out like a laugh.

I gave them a prompting smile. "Well…do you like it?" I asked them hopefully. I liked it, though, that's what mattered. But, still, it would be nice to know that they liked it.

Caroline reached out and touched the ends of my hair. "You look more like my sister than my actual sister," she chuckled. I laughed in response, but I could tell from the looks on Bonnie and Caroline's faces that they liked the new look.

"What in the world possessed you to change your hair color?" Bonnie asked, a laugh escaping her lips out of pure disbelief.

I flickered my eyes towards Katherine, who had stayed silent during Caroline and Bonnie's interrogation over my lifestyle choices. "Well…" I shifted uncomfortably, clearing my throat. Eventually, I just shook my head and shrugged. "You know, I just figured it was time for a change. I mean, we're in college and…things…"

"Things?" Caroline prompted. I stayed silent. "You mean…Damon things. But you broke up with him, turning blonde wouldn't help anything—"

"Caroline, what I think she means is that she's ready to move on from Damon," Katherine explained in her best sincere voice.

Caroline looked at who she believed to be Elena for a slight moment before smiling looking over at me. "Well, I think it looks great," she praised me, and I gave her a smile back. We all began to move in the direction of our next class together, and walking through the threshold of the classroom, Caroline spoke, "So we all agree. No more moping about life's little failures. And no more dabbling in the dark arts of boyfriends' past." She spun around as we all came to a stop at the seats. "This is a fresh start."

I scoffed and held up a chunk of my hair. "I mean, could it really get any fresher than this?"

"I couldn't agree more," Katherine corresponded beside me. "I happen to love fresh starts."

"Um, I haven't been moping or dabbling," Bonnie protested as she took her seat in the row. Katherine followed in beside her, and then Caroline, and then me, so we all sat in one straight row.

"Nobody likes a bragger, Bonnie," Caroline shot tauntingly, earning Bonnie to roll her eyes. "Today is the dawning of a new era," the other blonde continued, but that's when I found myself disengaged from the conversation when my eyes caught the sight of others. I barely noticed it at first, being slightly zoned out already from Caroline's motivational "moving on" speech, because, the thing was, I didn't need one.

But back to the other pair of eyes that I met…oh, God, were they gorgeous. Or, maybe not just the eyes, but the person they belonged to. A boy, a college student, making his way up the stairs of the classroom with his friends, his attention focused on me rather than them just as I focused on him rather than my friends. Every single thought I had of Damon Salvatore slipped into the wind, carrying it away without a single extra thought. The boy smiled at me, his lips twitching up in the slightest to convey his affection, but then I was snapped out of it by Caroline.

"Mads?"

"Huh?" I straightened myself in my seat, turning to Caroline, but only to see Katherine and Bonnie waiting for me as well. I laughed nervously. "I'm…sorry…err…what?"

Caroline sighed and thrust a poster at me. I looked the poster over with confused and judging eyes, but how could I not? Apparently, there was this thing called a Bitter Ball, complete with a broken heart in the center of the poster as its representation. "We're all going tonight," she informed me.

I looked over at Caroline. "You know…I think I'm okay," I said, giving the poster back to her. Katherine hid a small smile from the rest of them as I denied the so-called "invitation".

"What?" Caroline asked, confused. "Why not?"

I shrugged. "I'm not bitter," I said simply, brushing it off. But Caroline and Bonnie looked at me like they were waiting for an explanation. Of course, Katherine knew the explanation, but I said it anyway. "Look, the way things ended with Damon…it was necessary. It was something that needed to be done since the beginning. I'm not bitter, I'm moving on with my life." My eyes flickered up involuntarily, where I saw the boy who had caught my attention before now sitting in a seat with his friends. Though, this time, our eyes didn't connect, I still bit down on my lip to keep from showing any extra emotion to my friends. "So…I don't think I'm gonna go," I told Caroline at last.

"But—" Caroline began, only to be cut off by Katherine, who had my back.

"Caroline," Katherine said soothingly. "Let her deal with this the way she wants. She doesn't want to go, she shouldn't have to. Besides," Katherine looked in the direction that I had flickered my eyes up to and smiled to herself before looking back at Caroline, "I think she'll probably be making plans of her own tonight."

I tried not to laugh, but I couldn't resist it. Eventually, Caroline dropped the topic, and class began. Time flew by, and soon enough, class ended and Caroline and Bonnie went to their next class, leaving Katherine and me to walk out of the building together.

"So who's the new boy toy?" Katherine asked as we left the classroom, catching only a glimpse of the mysterious college student.

"How am I supposed to know?" I scoffed as we stepped outside into the cool breeze.

Katherine spun around as I walked forward and she walked backwards. She opened her mouth to say something, but then smiled and just said, "How about you talk to him?" I stared at her, confused, but she just gave me a seductive smirk and walked in another direction, and that's when I felt a tapping on my shoulder.

"Uh, excuse me," someone said, and I turned around to see the boy that I had caught the attention of. When I saw him, I smiled involuntarily. Jeez, he was even handsomer up close and personal. "You're…Madeline Gilbert, right?"

Or Reichs, I thought, but he was right. Gilbert, unfortunately. "Yeah," I said, slightly confused. "H-How did you know my name?"

"You were in Doctor Maxfield's class last semester," he clarified for me, and I had to admit that I could recall that horrific day. The boy laughed. "You totally showed him up. Impressive…for a first year," he joked. I gave him a slight smile before the boy added, "I'm Asher," he introduced himself.

I shifted, fixing the strap of my bag on my shoulder. "Well…Asher," I said with a grin, "You already seem to know my name. But, you can call me Mads," I added, which earned him to smile. And, I had to admit, it was a beautiful smile. He was beautiful, himself, for a human. But this was good. A human. I was human, he was human, and that was that. No complications.

"Mads," he repeated, letting the name roll off of his tongue with his own special spin. "So, listen, there's a party over at the restaurant on campus tonight," Asher told me, gesturing towards a building. I turned around to where he was looking to see this building that I hadn't been in before, what with everything going on. "Are you in?"

I looked back at Asher, a little alarming voice in my head telling me that I really, really shouldn't. See, this was my problem. Breaking up with Damon was the best thing that happened to me, I knew that. But would partying with some random college guy really be the answer?

Yes.

"I'm in," I agreed with only the slightest bit of hesitation, but, after all, this was good for me. This was me moving on.

"Then I'll see you tonight," Asher responded with a beam. "Bye, Mads."

I said nothing in return, but wheels were turning in my head. Huh, I thought to myself as he walked away. I looked down at my blonde strands and theorized, I should've gone blonde sooner.

I went to the library for a while instead of the dorm room to collect my thoughts and finish things that I needed done for tomorrow before the night. Eventually, when everything was finished, I went back to the dorm room, where I found Caroline and Katherine getting ready for the Bitter Ball, like they had planned. Katherine seemed oddly chipper, which wasn't so weird. But, I could tell there was something bothering her as well, which proved evident after my talk with Caroline about my plans tonight.

"Just…don't do anything you're going to regret," Caroline warned me with a sigh. "Moving on is…great and all, but…you also shouldn't do anything too drastic. I mean," Caroline eyed my hair, "you know, besides bleaching your hair."

"I'll be fine," I told her, but on the inside, I wasn't so sure about it. Maybe she was right—just maybe. What if I lost myself in this mess? If dating other people…dating college boys turned me into a completely different person? I'd already changed my looks, what was next?

Caroline sighed outwardly. "Good," she said, giving me a light and somewhat parental smile. When she looked back at Katherine, she spoke, "You coming, Elena?"

"I'll be right there," Katherine assured our friend with a reassuring grin, and with a nod, Caroline left us. "All right, Nadia hasn't responded to me in over an hour, I need you to tell me something." Katherine walked up to me and gripped my shoulder, looking straight into my eyes. "Who the hell is Enzo?"

I answered by no will of my own, "Damon's old cellmate during his time in Augustine. Damon thought he died, but someone saved him. He locked me in a janitor's closet while we were trying to save Elena. I don't know what happened to him after that," I told her, my voice slow and monotone.

Katherine sighed and released me from her hold. "So…he's dangerous," she concluded at last. "And probably wreaking havoc with Damon. Doesn't surprise me, you did such a good job at stomping on his heart," she added with a tasteful smile. I nearly flinched at the words. I didn't…feel like I did such a terrible thing. It's just…things don't work out. Especially when you're dating someone from an entirely different species. "Why haven't you been answering your phone, anyway? I mean, not that I'm complaining…Stefan was originally going to call you, but he called me instead." Katherine's smile was utterly hopeless thinking about the youngest Salvatore. "He's coming to the Bitter Ball tonight," she explained.

"How wonderful for you," I said, but I couldn't help but feel slightly angry. "You…do know that my best friend is trying to patch things up for him, right?"

Katherine blinked at me. "So?"

"So?" I repeated, crossing my arms. I let out a humorless laugh. "Katherine, Audrey and Stefan have one problem in their relationship—Elena. You can't get in the middle of that! They're so close to getting back together, it's not fair to them if you—" In the middle of my lecture, my phone began to ring, and I pulled it out to see the name of my best friend on the screen. I let out a relieved sigh. "Look, it's Audrey, hold—"

Katherine flashed over to me and knocked the phone out of my hand so it landed on my bed beside me, still ringing. "Your phone will be off for the rest of the night and you won't give it a second thought," she compelled me, and I stood completely still. "Now," Katherine continued, sighing, "I'm going to leave with Caroline to go to this stupid party and you're going to go meet your new boy toy…play around with him. And you're not going to give a second thought towards me, towards Stefan, towards Audrey, or towards Damon for the rest of the night. Tonight is the night you move on, do I make myself clear?"

I nodded. "Yes."

"I'm only doing what's best for you," Katherine guaranteed me.

"Of course," I agreed, nodding slightly again. Katherine grinned at me, earning the corners of my lips to turn up subtly.

Katherine released me again and walked over to grab her phone from her own bed. When she spun around at me, she gave me that hinting smile that she gave me earlier. "Have fun," she cooed before leaving the dorm room, closing it softly on her way out so that I was alone. The ringing of my phone had ceased, and once Katherine was gone, I went over to it and held down the power button so it turned completely off.

After I did a slight wardrobe change into something more comfortable, I headed over to the building that Asher had pointed out earlier today. Sure enough, there was music blasting from inside, and a crowd filled the floor. I was glad I did a wardrobe change, because it looked like mostly everyone else did, too. Students that I had seen earlier in the day had obviously changed to look more presentable…or, perhaps, less like they were trying and more like they had just…naturally looked that beautiful or handsome. I had really only changed my shirt, from a button-down white one to a solid grey loose-fit t-shirt. Though my necklace was obviously now with Damon, I still had one on. It was something Katherine had suggested so that I wouldn't feel so bare. So, instead of the vervain locket, it was now a simple open-circle charm that hung solely on a chain. It was cheap, but it helped.

So this was what a college party felt like. Not a frat party where someone gets murdered. Not a dorm party where you end up finding out that your ex-boyfriend has really been in love with you all along. No, this is what a party that had no supernatural repercussions looked like.

"LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED!" someone shouted from within the crowd.

So far, this had to be my favorite party yet.

"Mads!" I turned my head in the direction I heard my name yelled, only to see Asher fighting the sea of people to get to me. I did some moving of my own to meet him halfway. "You came!"

"Of course," I laughed.

"Well, now that you're here, we better get you some shots," he demanded with an enticing smirk on his lips.

I thought about denying it, but after all, I had to experience all that college had to offer, didn't I? That was the point of moving on. "We better," I agreed.

"Dead corsage?" A disgusted Katherine deadpanned to Caroline as she held one of the black roses in her hand with distaste. Caroline only smiled and grabbed it from the doppelgänger.

"Thank you," she practically sung. And while Caroline was preoccupied at the front table, Katherine snuck away to glance at her cell phone that had buzzed a few minutes before, but she couldn't answer it with Caroline hovering over her shoulder. Though Madeline had answered her question about Enzo, Nadia had just gotten back to her about the situation with a text message.

Enzo is Damon's Augustine cellmate. Dangerous.

Okay, so Madeline wasn't lying to her, the information was real. That was good to know. As Katherine began to type a response to Nadia all while descending the staircase down to the dance floor, suddenly, a certain bronze-haired Salvatore vampire stood in front of her. "Hey," Stefan greeted.

"Hey!" Katherine said, trying to hold back her excitement. "You made it!"

"I did," Stefan agreed as she approached him at the bottom of the staircase. "So…who makes up these things?"

Katherine inhaled sharply. "Lonely single people," she decided flirtatiously.

"Ah." Stefan paused. "Hey, where's Mads? I thought you said she'd be here."

"She had a last-minute change of plans." Katherine shrugged innocently. "Some guy asked her to go to another party and she accepted." Katherine inhaled largely. "Oh! And did you see her new hair?"

Stefan raised an eyebrow cautiously. "No…what did she do to her hair?"

Katherine laughed. "You'll see soon enough," she promised and tugged at Stefan's hand with another girlish chuckle. "Come on," she said, pulling Stefan out with her onto the dance floor. The two of them reached the middle of the floor and Katherine pulled Stefan into her arms and began to sway. "See? As promised, fun."

"You seem good," Stefan noted, looking as if he were surprised.

"I got the same reaction from Caroline," Katherine said disappointedly. "Like I'm not allowed to…smile or something."

"Did I say that?"

"No," Katherine admitted. "But I see your look."

Stefan raised his eyebrows. "Oh, I have a look?"

Katherine chuckled girlishly. "Yeah, that look."

"Hmm," Stefan said, not at all convinced.

Katherine sighed, but she was loving the attention that she got from the Salvatore, and she wouldn't deny that. "I'm fine, you don't have to worry about me. I'm great, actually. I'm the only non-bitter person at this Bitter Ball."

"Hmm," Stefan repeated his hum, but then began to move on to the topic he really needed to discuss. "Elena, listen. I'll tell Madeline later, but you should probably know, too. Damon…he got himself into some bad stuff."

Katherine exhaled. "Yeah." She laughed humorlessly. "It's what Damon does. He gets the tiniest bit hurt, he lashes out."

"And you're not angry about this?" Stefan asked, surprised. "I mean…after everything that you and Damon went through with the sire bond and during the summer—"

"It was all a lie, Stefan," Katherine cut him off, shaking her head immediately. Stefan stayed silent and waited for her explanation. "He's always been in love with Madeline, I should've realized that sooner. I didn't…I didn't know what I was doing when I slept with him, I don't think either of us did. But, when I died, I…I changed." If Katherine could say so herself, she was doing a damn good job at imitating Elena. "And, when I changed, everything I felt somehow morphed into…wanting Damon, and…I don't think I like how he's changed me. I'm not sure I like the person I've become, you know? I mean…" Katherine thought very carefully about how to choose her words, "Do you?"

"Do I what?" Stefan asked.

"Do you like who I am?" Katherine prompted again. "Or do you miss who I was?"

Though Stefan had been with Audrey for a short while, he had been with Elena as well. Stefan let out a sigh of resistance, knowing that this was wrong of him. Audrey had kissed him the other night and now he was here. With Elena. How did that make sense?

Eventually, Katherine just shook her head. "Let's change the subject." She smiled. "What did you want to tell me?" She gave an annoyed glance. "What did Damon and Enzo do now?"

"You know, can we talk about it later?" Stefan said, realizing that he didn't want to ruin this right now. "Is that okay?"

Katherine gave a soft smile. "It's fine by me," she said, pulling Stefan into an embrace. But their dance was cut short by a certain blonde vampire that was starting to annoy Katherine beyond belief.

No, I wasn't drunk.

But, no, I wasn't sober, either.

Besides the little party that we threw for Katherine during her impending demise that eventually failed, I couldn't remember a time that I actually had so many shots. Of course, I did have countless holes in my memory, so I could've been wrong. But, based on my memories, I'd have to say that this is the most I'd ever drank in my entire life.

And, God, it felt good.

I was walkin' down the street

When out the corner of my eye,

I saw a pretty little thing approaching me.

She said I never seen a man

Who looked so all alone,

Oh, could you use a little company?

For once in my life, for once, I wasn't bothered by something else. No siblings to take care of, no vampires to worry about, no murders to cover up. Finally, I could start thinking about myself, which I haven't in a long time. Even since I came back, my life had been a constant TV show, which was ironic since this life was a TV show in my alternate dimension. But, honestly, everything had been so hard for the last few months. First there was my sister, then Damon, then Jeremy, then Silas, then Stefan, then Bonnie, then Katherine…I was starting to wonder when it'd end, but I guess I finally found my answer. It ended the moment Katherine compelled me to break up with Damon.

I'd have to remember to thank her for that.

And if you pay the right price,

Your evening will be nice,

Or you can go and send me on my way.

I said you're such a sweet young thing,

Why do you do this to yourself?

She looked at me and this is what she said,

I don't even know how it happened, but through my smiles, my laughter, and my completely altered attitude, I ended up accepting a strong, male hand that swung me somewhere…onto a counter. Onto…the bar, in fact. The alcohol compromised my vision, but I was too intoxicated to care, actually.

All right, so maybe I was a little too drunk for my own well being. So, sue me.

Oh, there ain't no rest for the wicked.

Money don't grow on trees.

I'm pretty sure Asher was beside me…at least, I was pretty sure that it was him. Honestly, I had no idea if it was or wasn't, all I knew was that I was on the bar counter with people dancing and cheering to the beat of the song and there were three other people up there with me. A girl, a guy, and another guy, and we were all lined up with alternating genders. But, though I was in a situation where I had no idea what I was doing, I found myself actually having fun, which seemed like a first in a really, really long time. So, despite all the compulsion…maybe Katherine was right. She was doing the best thing for me.

After everything that my family had been through—after what I had been through, I deserved this. And, it was wrong of me to think like that, but it was true. I couldn't think of the last time I thought for myself. Even when I carried intimate conversations or actions with Damon, foreign whelms of guilt consumed me because I knew he was with my sister. Even after, there was guilt or sorrow or pain.

I got bills to pay,

I got mouths to feed,

Ain't nothing in this world for free.

But I thought of none of that as I danced on the bar, with whoever it was I was dancing with. Honestly, I couldn't care less if it was Asher or not. But, when my vision adjusted to the right tune, I realized that it was him, which was a relief. Dancing with a stranger on top of a bar…maybe that would be a little weird.

No, I can't slow down,

I can't hold back,

Though you know I wish I could.

I'm pretty sure things went too far…my head was spinning, my heart was pounding, and I could barely move straight. Asher kept me stable, though, unfortunately it had to be through a way of sexual affection. I was aware of the hands on my waist, gripping the tiniest bit of exposed skin of my hips. I wanted so desperately to stop what I was doing, but with the mixture of the alcohol and Katherine's words ringing through my head about playing with my new "boy toy" made it impossible for me to show any signs of discomfort, but rather purely of affection—which I'm positively sure Asher took as a very different sign.

How did I know this? Well, he kissed me. Straight on the mouth, his hand securing the side of my face to so he could kiss me. The alcohol on his breath mixed into mine and created even more circumstances of intoxication. Somewhere…along the way, I think I found myself mimicking his movements on my lips, not because I wanted to, but because I was so drunk off my ass that I couldn't tell the difference between a stranger and one of my friends.

No, there ain't no rest for the wicked.

Until we close our eyes for good.

"Madeline! Get down from there!"

When the song finally ended and Asher pulled away from my face, that's when I heard the command and I looked down to see a spinning version of another blonde, a dark-haired girl, and a dark-haired male beneath me. My foot was being tugged down, so I indulged the pesky poking and slid down from the bar, only to lose my balance, which Caroline caught and steadied me. "Ohhh!" I slurred happily. "Care! Care bear!" I turned my head to see Bonnie staring at me incredulously. "BON-BON!" I shouted, never once losing my smile. But, then, I turned my head to the dark-haired male that was with them…only to find him staring up at someone else.

And then I realized who it was.

"You," I said to Damon, confused. And then I looked back and Bonnie and Caroline, realizing that there was obviously something wrong if they were here with Damon. I sighed. "God, what happened now?" I said, irritated.

"I kidnapped your brother," Damon said, removing his glance from the direction he was looking at over towards me. I blinked at him, wondering if this was actually real or not. "And now Bon-Bon is going to help me find Dr. Maxfield with the help of a witch," he filled in.

"Madeline!" someone shouted behind us, and through the crowd, a red-haired girl emerged—way too underage to be at this party. Audrey stared at me, her eyes wide and fearful, but I had a feeling it wasn't because of Jeremy's kidnapping. "We need to talk."

While Caroline and Bonnie went to go get the witch that Bonnie was going to use to do the locator spell and Damon went off to some unknown location, I sobered up and talked to Audrey outside, where the music was merely just a hum.

"Don't freak out," Audrey said seriously as we began to speak. "But…I've been doing more research on Pure Bloods. Old tribal legends…witch spells…folklore. Human beings of the purest kind that have been sent to alternate dimensions to serve a purpose or a punishment or something of that nature—"

"Audrey, just get to the point," I half-snapped. I didn't mean to be so abrasive, but my "fun" night was turning into a train wreck right in front of my eyes.

Audrey waited for a moment before speaking. "You're…" She swallowed hard. "Dead."

I stared at her, blinking out of incredulity. "What the hell are you talking about? I'm standing right here."

"No, no, no," Audrey said, shaking her head vigorously. "I mean…you're alive, sure, but…you…weren't." She carefully said the words, like she was afraid of my reaction. But I was only growing more impatient and confused. "Look, all the stories say that these tribes or these witches or supernatural creatures, they preformed some sort of ritual on the subject. And every single ritual but one required death in order for the subject to be transported."

"Well, what if I was that one ritual that didn't require death?" I challenged, crossing my arms.

Audrey shook her head. "No," she objected firmly. "No, that ritual doesn't have any of the effects that you have. No memory loss, no heightened blood, no regenerative powers." This was the cherry on top of my night. So I'm dead. How ironic. "Look, it makes sense, doesn't it? Tessa had Stefan drink your blood, he took all but one drop. That one drop was enough to rebuild your entire system. And Silas said that your blood can be used as the Cure, and it's true." She nodded. "There was one folktale about a vampire who was turned into a human by a coven of spiteful witches, and they did it by sending one of their own to another place for a short while. Ninety days, if we're being exact," she added.

"So what does this mean?" I asked, rubbing my head. "Now anyone can drink from me until the very last drop and I'm the automatic Cure for vampirism?"

Audrey shook her head again. "Silas died. He was the one that bound you to the spell, which means that your blood lost those powers. But…it does mean something else." I waited for her to continue. "And you're not going to like it."

"Well, spit it out."

Audrey looked at me, as if debating if she actually wanted to tell me. "Okay," she confessed, sighing. "Well, there are two things. First off, your blood is now highly similar to a vampire's," she explained, making me sigh in disbelief. Now this was happening, of course. "I know, I know. I told you it was bad. But, again, it makes sense. Regenerative powers, it's almost exactly like a vampire. Plus, you're dead so…yeah, I think I've proved my point." Audrey sighed and moved on, "But, the good news is, I found a cure for your memory loss. It's simple spell, we could find a witch that could perform it. Possibly even the witch Bonnie's recruiting right now," she added bitterly.

I grasped her shoulders, catching her off guard. "What?" I asked, widening my eyes. But she didn't get a word out when I spoke again, "Audrey, no. You can't tell anyone that you found that," I insisted.

"What?" Audrey breathed, completely confused. "Why the hell not?"

"This is who I am now!" I snapped at her, shaking my head. "This is who I was meant to be all along. These things happened for a reason, I died for a reason. Silas wiped my memory…for a reason, Audrey, you have to understand, I don't want those memories back. What I have is painful enough."

"You can't be serious!" Audrey said, squaring her jaw.

I nodded slowly. "I am," I told her, swallowing. "I need to be Madeline Reichs sometimes. I shouldn't always have to be Madeline Gilbert."

"Madeline Reichs doesn't exist!" she snapped at me, knocking my arms off of her shoulders and stepping back. "This isn't who you are! I saw you up there…dancing on that bar, kissing that guy! You aren't this person. You aren't Madeline Reichs, you are Madeline Gilbert. You have a sister, a brother, a—"

"A vampire ex-boyfriend who's a cold-blooded mass-murderer?" I filled in, prompting her with my eyes flaring red.

Audrey stiffened. "Damon isn't a cold-blooded murderer. Not with you."

"You're right," I agreed, nodding. "He's not himself when he's with me. He's not his true self. And his true self is a mass-murderer, Audrey. He kidnapped Jeremy for Christ's sake!" I barked at her abruptly, but she didn't flinch. "I am asking you, as my friend, please." I put my hands on her shoulders again. "Don't tell anyone about this, Audrey. I can't take any more memories."

Audrey stared at me for a while, and that's how we stayed—in silence—until she spoke, softer, "Fine," she said, clearing her throat. I breathed a sigh of relief. "Fine…I won't tell anyone. It's your choice, anyway."

"Thank you," I said sincerely.

She nodded, but turned her head towards the bar. "I…better go check on Caroline," Audrey decided, leaving me to walk into the bar again. When she was gone, I put my head in my hands and thought.

I'm dead.

I'm dead.

I felt my stomach churn. I'm. Dead.

But as I readied myself to go back inside and face the devil himself, I caught something in my eye far away ahead of me. Someone shoved someone else out of the door to the bar and then dipped their head on the other's person's neck. First, I thought it was just some couple making out, but then, I saw the one body become limp and begin to fall to the ground.

Vampire.

"No," I murmured under my breath and began running. But I was too late—the second I finally came to a burning stop, the body was on the floor, and the vampire who drained it was reveling in the taste of human blood.

Asher.

I looked up at the vampire who did this, and I wish I could say that I was surprised.

Damon licked his lips and gave me a once-over. "Did you do something with your hair?" he questioned, smiling down at me sadistically. I looked at him with pure disgust, realizing that he had just killed an innocent human being and then pretended like it was no big deal.

"You killed him," I accused, looking down at Asher's dead body. All alcohol in my system had now been drained by tonight's events.

Damon wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "Yeah." He shrugged. "I was hungry. Vampire's gotta eat," he said, rubbing his stomach for effect.

"You think this is a game?" I snapped angrily, stepping towards him. "You can't kill everyone that I get close to!"

"What makes you think I killed this dude because of you?" Damon asked, his eyes wide as he stepped closer to me this time. "You are getting way too self-absorbed, honey."

"You kidnapped my brother!"

Again, the vampire shrugged carelessly. "I needed leverage, he was mine." Damon widened his eyes again. "Ooh, speaking of. I should probably get back to Blondie and the ex-witch. Probably starting all the fun without me." He turned to walk away, but I stepped over Asher's body to follow him. I wasn't done with him yet, and I told him so.

"I am not through talking with you, Damon!" I shouted at him, standing still and waiting for him to turn around. He did, eventually, looking at me like I was insane.

"I. Don't. Care," he snarled at me, stepping with each word. I shook my head at him, my jaw locked in its place out of anger. And then, I raised my hand and braced it to impact with his cheek, but instead, he blocked me. He enclosed his long, hard fingers around my wrist and squeezed, cutting off all the circulation I had in my right arm. I began to feel the pain that he inflicted, and Damon stepped closer, closing much of the space between us. "Don't you dare try that again," he growled right in my face, his eyes drifting across my features for effect before he finally let me go, where I gasped out of the pain and clutched my wrist. Damon watched me for another moment, but then he turned, and he left.

"Madeline!" All of a sudden, another vampire was right in front of me, but this time, it was the good brother. Stefan had flashed to me and wildly examined my eyes, which were glistening over in hatred tears.

"What happened?" Another voice asked, and I turned my head to see Katherine with an actual look of concern on my face. Stefan looked down at the wrist that I was sure Damon had broken and examined it. "Are you okay?" Katherine pushed, and I just shook my head.

"Damon didn't break it," Stefan assured me, dropping my wrist. "But he did hurt it, so here—" Stefan braced himself to bite into his wrist, but I stopped him.

"No, don't," I said, shaking my head and stepping back from him. Stefan looked at me with caution as I told him, "It'll heal on its own."

"Jeremy!" Katherine and I shouted once we barged into the Whitmore house, though Stefan went first to restrain Enzo so we could help Jeremy. Both Katherine and I slid down onto the floor seeing Jeremy's position on the ground. I unwrapped the plastic around Jeremy's face quickly as Katherine searched for a heartbeat, and as my wrist bent to my motions, I knew it was getting better—thank God. But this also meant something terribly, terribly bad.

Audrey was right. My blood mimicked a vampire's now.

Which explains why I haven't had to go to the hospital for all those concussions I kept getting.

"What do we do?" I asked, seeing Jeremy practically dead right in front of us.

Katherine hissed, "Damn it, Jeremy!" She looked up at me. "You know CPR, right?"

I blinked at her. "What the hell do you think I do in my free time?" I snapped, which earned an eye-roll from Katherine before a disgusted expression glided over her face and she began to do CPR on our brother.

"Come on!" Katherine pushed, banging at his chest. "Come on! Wake up Jeremy! Ugh!" She pounded on his chest harder and harder, until Jeremy finally awoke with a loud gasp. Meanwhile, Stefan and Enzo fought in the background, glass shattering everywhere behind me. "Thank God," Katherine mumbled with that same distasteful expression on her face.

But, then, Katherine began to cry out in pain, and that's when I realized that there was a poker in her back. "Stefan!" she shouted, and the Salvatore rushed up to her to take the poker out of her flesh with a ripping noise. As Katherine slumped over, someone else joined us.

"You missed all the fun," Enzo chimed sadistically, and I turned my head up to see Damon at the threshold of the Whitmore house. Damon looked over at me, Elena, and Jeremy, but showed no emotions.

"Spell worked," he announced. "Wes's in Richmond."

"Brilliant," Enzo replied. "I'll drive." He patted Stefan on the back and left promptly, wasting no time. I couldn't stand to look at Damon right now, so as his eyes drifted over to me, I averted them as quickly as I could, though I knew he was watching me. But, suddenly, I heard Stefan speak.

"Hey, Damon," he said, catching the attention of his older brother. When a moment of silence passed, Stefan continued, "Don't bother coming back," he warned relentlessly.

I let my eyes flicker up to meet Damon's, but a new hatred rested beyond my looks. I no longer felt the way I felt this morning – at peace with my feelings. I didn't feel guilty, I didn't feel sad, I didn't feel pain.

What I felt, though—the one thing that had changed—was anger. Anger that I wasn't so sure I would be able to forgive easily.

Damon turned around after looking at me, and with his back to the three of us, he spoke. "I wasn't planning on it."

And then he walked out, even after he put us through one hell of a wave of destruction that had just crashed over us.

While Elena and Madeline were upstairs, talking over things that needed to be spoken about, Stefan joined Audrey on the first level of the dorm complex, where she was drinking and looking through an old, dusty book.

"Hey," Stefan said, startling the human. He smiled at her as she jumped, but when Audrey realized that it was him, she relaxed and closed her book.

"Hey," she returned, a slight smile spreading on her face. "How are they?"

"Okay." Stefan nodded, slipping his hands into his suit pockets. "Madeline's hand is almost healed. You were right about her blood, it's…special. I'm surprised none of us noticed it before. Especially me, I was the one who fed on her first."

Audrey shook her head. "No, Silas was still alive then. Her blood would've tasted just like any other blood. The only reason it didn't turn you human was because it wasn't the right ritual."

Stefan gave her an approving look. "You're well versed," he observed.

Audrey laughed, shrugging in the slightest. "I've got to earn my keep somehow, right?" she prompted, giving him a slight grin. Stefan returned the smile with a softness that only he could master. That softness was what made the both of them go silent, and that's what caused Audrey to get scared, almost like a mouse would. She got out of her chair and clutched the book in her hand, sighing. "Well, I should probably go check on Mads—"

"You've been avoiding me all day," Stefan pointed out, ignoring her diversion. Audrey stayed silent as he spoke, inching towards her. "I've called you about ten times."

Audrey squared her jaw, not knowing what to say. Eventually, she just told the truth. "I was…giving you time," she admitted, letting her eyes wander elsewhere. "You…need to think about things. About me, about Elena. I'll respect that, I promise." She nodded.

"That's…" Stefan trailed off, searching for the right term as he drew nearer to her body. "…so unlike you," he finished, a slight smile on his lips. She let out a laugh in response, but it was more a scoff than anything. "The good thing is, Audrey, I…I don't need time." Stefan nodded. "I've had…more than enough time."

But his expression said it all. Elena, he would always choose Elena. How could she think any different? Plus, who would come to the person that they chose first? No one ever does that. Never. "All right," she said, her voice small. Turning away, she muttered, "I get it. I under—"

Her hand had been caught in Stefan's, and he took the leverage to pull her back to him and collided them in a kiss – one much more passionate than the one that they experienced the night before. His hands locked around her face to secure her to him, but she didn't need much securing…this was home for her, with Stefan. It had always been her home.

"Ahem."

I watched as Stefan and Audrey parted, and I could literally feel the awkwardness in the room. Stefan turned around at me, though Audrey was partially hiding her very happy expression from me from behind Stefan's muscular frame. "So…Elena has a splinter and she sent me down to ask you to go up and help her," I told him briefly, relaying what Katherine wanted me to relay.

Stefan looked back at Audrey, and then back at me. "Okay, yeah." I saw him give Audrey's hand a squeeze before leaving to do what I informed him of. When he was gone, I sighed and walked down the stairs into the public room of the dorm complex.

"You know what you're doing?" I asked Audrey carefully, and she looked at me with hesitancy.

"Do you?" she returned, raising her eyebrows. I waited for her to explain. "I mean…you don't want me to tell Bonnie about the memory spell…and I have just the slightest inkling that it's because of Damon."

I frowned. "Not everything is because of Damon," I returned.

She grimaced at me. "When it's your world, it is."

But, somehow, those words angered me more than ever. "Don't you get it?" I snapped again. The night had taken a turn for the worst. First, I was drunk over my head and now I was snapping at people left and right. "That's not healthy. It's not healthy for me to be head over heels in love with a psycho killer! It's unnatural, and it's wrong." Audrey sighed, as if locating any pain in my eyes. But there was none. "From now on, I need to start focusing on good things. School. My future. A job," I scoffed, rolling my eyes. "I can't be obsessed with vampires forever."

"Is that why you don't want to remember?" Audrey asked accusingly. "Because you think it's easier to forget and move on than actually know what your life is like?"

I crossed my arms at her. "I think that I need to make a new life for myself," I said firmly, holding my stance. "And the best way to do that is to forget about my old one—to forget about Damon," I clarified.

Audrey shook her head. "Now that's not healthy," she countered, stepping closer to me. "Hate him all you want, Madeline. Hell, I hate him, too. We all hate him, but there are times when Damon can be good. And all of those times include you." She looked straight in my eyes, almost scoffing. "Just because you dye your hair and party with college boys doesn't mean that you can forget all about your life with Damon, because believe it or not, it was a life. And you threw it away."

"I did what was best for me," I said through my teeth, staring at her with cold eyes. "I'm allowed to have a selfish moment once in a while."

Audrey sighed, as if realizing that she was getting nowhere. "I give up," she said simply, shrugging. "And, you know what, I'm in a really good mood. So, if you don't mind, I'm going to start heading back to Mystic Falls." But, before she left like she spoke of, Audrey extended a book towards me. It was old and dusty…not exactly Sunday reading. "Here," she said, thrusting it at me. "Take it. It has the memory spell and lots of other things you might find useful." I looked down at the book, but when I realized that I had to take it, I eventually sighed and grabbed it in my hand.

"Thank you," I mumbled.

"Mmhmm," Audrey agreed, slipping her hands into her pockets. "I'm sorry if I'm making you upset, I just…I want what's best for you," she said, tilting her head at me. "And…what you're doing here, that just doesn't seem like it."

I wanted to respond, to tell her that what I was doing here was good. Healthy. But, instead, no words came out, and Audrey brushed past me with ease to make her way back to Mystic Falls.

I went upstairs, only to find Stefan and Katherine in an embrace. I sighed at the sight. Stefan Salvatore, the playa. Who would've thought?

"Hey," Stefan said, greeting me with a light smile. "I was just about to…"

"Audrey left," I told him softly. "On her way back to Mystic Falls. You could catch her," I suggested lightly.

Stefan gave a promising look to Elena before slipping out of her grasp and moving towards the door, where he slipped past me and left the building. I sighed, closing the door behind him.

"You shouldn't get in the middle of things, Katherine," I warned her, walking further into the room. "Stefan and Audrey are in a good place. They deserve to be happy."

"Well, what about me?" Katherine said selfishly. "Don't I deserve to be happy?" She put a hand on her hip for emphasis.

I sighed again. "Whatever. Can we just go to sleep? It's been such a long night." I threw the book on my bed and quickly began to change into nightclothes, desperately needing the salvation of sleep.

Katherine walked over to my bed and grabbed the book, flipping through the dusty material. "What the hell is this?" she asked.

I shrugged. "Just some information on Pure Bloods," I informed her. "Audrey gave it to me. But I pretty much know everything because she told me the gist of it. I don't think I'm up to learning more right about now." I turned around and began to unfold my clothes on the bed so that I could wear them.

"Mads." I looked up to meet Katherine's eyes and that's when she began the compulsion. "I'm going to take this." She held up the book in her hand. "But all you're going to remember is that you lost it. It won't even cross your mind until someone brings it up, and even then, what do you say?"

"I lost it," I told her, my voice once again monotone.

Katherine smiled. "Good girl." She released me from the compulsion and moved away from my bed, and extra swing in her hips. "Sweet dreams," she cooed to me.

Sweet dreams, I scoffed. That seems hardly likely.

So, the song in the middle of the chapter is Ain't No Rest For The Wicked by Cage the Elephant. I don't own that song, by the way...you know, obviously.

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed the chapter...as sad/weird/drastic as it was. Next up is 5x14...which might not get out for a while, but you never know. I might surprise you :)

I'm going to be responding to a guest review after my sign off. If it doesn't involve you, there's no need to read it, but if you want to go ahead. There's really no reason, but if you want to, certainly this message isn't going to stop you. If you're the guest that reviewed, don't be afraid to review back, I'll always try to answer constructive criticism if I have something to say to it.

Yeah, so, anyway, hope you enjoyed the chapter...until next time!

Love,

BellaSalvatore1918

X

NaniaB: Blech, I keep reading hoping it would take a turn for the best, but it just gets worse. Your characters are never fully their own person, they're weak, naive, and sadly pathetic at times. I only say this because you were once a great writer with characters that had been developed very well, that didnt need constant saving and that were constantly dazzled by a great smile to the point that they became idiots. Your characters have become female characters, that i would feel embarrassed to know. I really miss your old OC's that were strong, independent and intellegent, i hope one day your able to wrote those strong and inspirations female chracters once more, because sadly these characters are awful. Sorry this may suck to read, but someone had to say it.

Response: First, thank you for taking the time to read even if you didn't like it. But as a response to your comment, I sincerely have no idea what you're talking about. If you're referring to one of my earlier stories...I don't know, one of my first ones or something where the characters had absolutely NO development AT ALL, I really would suggest rethinking that. And the characters you're describing...dazzled by a great smile and all that, I think that's pathetic, actually. Wouldn't you rather your character be strong and independent than like another Elena Gilbert who so fickle with her "I don't know what I feel" crap? And I, for one, think that I've done a great job at developing my characters to a point where they're independent, strong, and intelligent. Even Madeline in this story didn't need Damon to "save" her in 5x10, she was halfway out the door when he stopped her. I'll admit, Rachel in Keep On Runnin' is not the character that I wanted her to be, and I'm working on that very slowly. But as for the rest of my characters, I feel like they are strong and independent, so I think this might be a little bit of a misunderstanding on both of our parts.

Though I may not agree with your points, I still appreciate the honesty. I apologize for the way that you feel about my characters, but it is your opinion, and I respect that.

Bella.