Chapter Five:

About a Girl

The next day, Alice was at my house early, and I mean early. I was just brushing out my wet hair when I heard the knock on the door, and I stared in horror at my reflection in the mirror as I realized there was only one person who could be on the welcome mat.

Crap. I wasn't ready. I didn't have my clothes on for today, my makeup wasn't done, and my hair was still dripping down my back.

"Shit." I quickly ran into my room, pulling on a random pair of jeans and a t-shirt that had "Art is Life" on it in Italian. Another gift from Aro.

Her knocking became louder and more insistent as I rushed down the stairs, my feet pounding on the wood. My momentum carried me forward into the door with a loud thunk. At the loud bang, Alice's insistent tapping stopped, and I heard her muffled voice ask me if I was alright. Damn that fucking door. Why did it have to be right at the bottom of the stairs?

Blushing, I opened the offending piece of wood and hurried her inside, shutting it and sprinting back up the stairs. "Sorry," I shouted as I arrived on the first landing and started turning to climb to the second. "Non sono pronto."

Her voice called after me, "Bella, English, please."

"Uh," I mumbled, not computing what she had just said. I was so not ready. Why was she here? Now? Fucking shit. It was way to fucking early in the morning for this shit. I continued to rattle off to her, not really knowing what I was saying as I rushed over to the bathroom.

Apparently, neither did she.

"Bella!"

I stopped what I was doing at her stern tone and turned to face her. She was in the bathroom with me. "Stop. Breathe. You're not late. Calm. Calma."

I ignored her terrible accent and went back to applying powder to my face. I closed the case and picked up the eyeliner pencil.

Charlie's bathroom counter was too high for me to lean across and still get the precision I needed, so I pushed myself up onto it so that I was on my knees in front of the mirror, one leg on either side of the small sink. I started to draw the pencil across my eyelid, carefully dabbing short little lines along my lashes. "You're early," I stated absentmindedly, not paying attention to anything other than my current task. I didn't need to smudge the line and have to start all over.

I didn't hear her respond and, once I finished drawing, I twisted around to look at her.

I wasn't sure what was wrong with her. She was staring in my direction, her eyes glazed. Her red mouth was open slightly, and she wasn't moving. "Alice?" I asked, trying to get her attention. "Alice!"

Her eyes immediately snapped up to mine, a sheepish grin on her face. She glanced down again, then back to my face. "Sorry?" Her innocent tone and face pissed me off a little, but I couldn't be mad for long. She was offering to give me a ride after all, so who was I to be pissed is she was not paying attention?

Turning back to the mirror, I started to work on my other eye. "You're early," I repeated.

"I guess so," she mused behind me.

"Where is your brother?" I asked, glancing at her reflection in the mirror just below my elbow, realizing that he had not been with her or in the car when I let her into the house.

"Still sick," she supplied and I nodded, though I knew that was code for "still too battered to show his face in public."

I finished quickly, swiping some dark eye shadow on before hopping down and brushing my teeth. Alice stood patiently with me until I left the bathroom, darting into my room to grab my leather jacket, a pair of socks, and my hair brush. I yanked it through my hair, trying to get out a particularly stubborn knot, until Alice pulled it out of my hands and gently started to brush out the tangle for me. I stiffened at her close proximity, not entirely sure what to do. She quickly tamed the rest of my hair, handing it back to me when she was done and walking through my door and down the stairs. I trailed behind her helplessly, like a lost puppy, shoving my arms into my jacket as we entered the downstairs and went into the kitchen.

I didn't eat with Charlie last night, claiming to have eaten earlier. He believed me without much persuasion.

However, I needed to eat something now. I knew from experience that, if I went too long without putting something in my stomach I would get dizzy, and I didn't need to pass out at school.

I snagged an apple out of the refrigerator and plopped on top of the kitchen counter, biting into it. Alice just watched me, retrieving my shoes for me when I was close to finishing. The trash was under the counter, and I reached down to throw out the core, muttering my thanks as Alice handed me my shoes. I pulled them on before hopping off the counter and leading her out the front door.

There was less staring today when we arrived at the school, but still enough to make me glare daggers at anyone who happened to look our way.

She left me at our lockers again, not really speaking to me as we walked there.

Gym went without much contact with Alice, and lunch went the same as it did yesterday. The only real excitement I had was getting some literary analysis essay back during English that caused my heart to palpitate as I saw the large, fat red F on the paper with the comment "Poor grammar" written next to it. I was still fuming about it as I sat down at lunch, because really? What did they fucking expect from a transfer student who could barely speak English, let alone write it! I decided that I would probably go harass the teacher about it later.

Alice and I sat at our usual tables across the cafeteria from each other, and both were completely empty except for us. Jasper was also missing today, but I didn't know if it was just because he was elsewhere or skipping school. I wouldn't have even known he existed, but for his involvement with Alice.

I pulled out my sketchbook and started to draw in it, not really thinking about it.

Dark lashes around wide eyes.

The lines of plump lips.

Shading on the high cheeks and narrow jaw.

Short, spiky hair.

Cute nose.

I realized with a sickening jolt just who I was drawing as I started to pull out the green and grey colored pencils for the eyes.

I slammed the sketchbook shut and pushed it violently away from me along with the pencils I had pulled out of my bag.

Couldn't I just get one fucking minute away from her? Physically, we couldn't have been more distant, so why couldn't she do the same for me mentally?

My phone decided to ring at that moment. Motherfucking fuck...

The people at the next table turned to see who was cursing, various forms of a if-looks-could-kill glare plastered on their faces, only to turn back around quickly when they saw it was me. Oh, didn't realize I had said that aloud. Some of them glanced back at me only to jerk and stare down as I made eye contact with them.

The phone insisted on regaining my attention, and I knew there was only one person who would be calling me at this time of the day. At least Aro would be able to provide a reprieve from confusing-as-fuck Alice. Fucking bi-polar pixie. What she made me feel wasn't right.

My phone let out another baleful moan as it continued to ring. The table nearest mine had stopped glaring at me entirely, though I saw a few of them twitch each time my phone rang, but they didn't do anything about it, too afraid of what I might do to them. Fucking pussies.

"What," I snapped as I flipped the phone open, not really caring if he took offense.

"Hello to you, too, my darling," he drawled through the speaker. "How has that abysmal town been treating you?"

"It fucking rains here all the fucking time, the inhabitants get stupider with every fucking day that passes, and I am living with a fucking cop—" not to mention a certain bi-polar pixie whose name shall not be mentioned "—how do you think it's treating me?"

"Well, you know me, I just had to ask," he answered sardonically.

"I'm not in the fucking mood to deal with your shit, Aro," I snapped back.

"As if I can't tell," I could almost see his eyes narrowing in annoyance. "What's got your fucking panties in a twist?"

I was tempted to tell him it was none of his fucking business. Instead, I hung up on him. So much for a fucking distraction.

I ignored my phone when it started ringing again, no doubt Aro calling back to chew me out for dismissing him. As if I would willingly subject myself to that.

I hit the ignore button, knowing that he would be hearing my standard "fuck you" message at any second when it went to voicemail. He probably wouldn't be too happy about that, but I didn't give a damn.

He should know better than to piss me off. I know he could just find some whore to suck his cock—and he was probably doing that right at this moment—but I was the best at pleasing his needs and if he wanted me to continue doing so when I got back to Italy, then he needed to be fucking nice.

Because, no matter how much he liked to believe that all the ladies wanted him, which they did, it was no secret among people our age in Volterra that Aro was rough as hell during sex and didn't really give a fuck if he hurt the person he was screwing. He may be attractive as hell, but no girl in her right mind would sign up for that without serious incentive.

Luckily for him, I wasn't ever really in my right mind. My only incentive was the pain.

Yeah, I decided right then, I really was a bitch.

Too fucking bad.

My phone was ringing again, and this time I just shut it off. The fucking bastard could deal with me not wanting to talk to him. It's not like he could do anything about it.

"Avoiding someone?"

"Holy fucking shit!' I just about jumped out of my fucking skin as Alice appeared out of nowhere and sat down next to me at the table. I grasped at my heart, breathing heavily and hoping no one had seen my freak-out. As it was, the idiots at the next table had all vacated, probably deciding that Alice and I together was a fucking health risk.

"Motherfucking Christ, Alice," I panted. "What the fuck? Ever heard of making your presence known before scaring the fucking shit out of people? Like, you know, a fucking grunt? What the fuck?"

"Nice to know that you enjoy my company so much," she sighed, tugging at a piece of her dark hair.

"Oh, don't give me that shit," I growled. "I've had enough of that crap today, and I don't need any more from you."

Alice and I had seemed to form an understanding at some point. She doesn't ask about my shit, and I don't ask about hers. It was working out fine for both of us so far, especially since it meant she wouldn't ask too many questions.

I noticed an apricot in her hands as she fidgeted, rolling it back and forth between her palms. She brought the apricot to her lips, teeth biting into the soft, supple flesh of the fruit. Her mouth pulled the bite past her lips and I stared as she chewed it, swallowing and licking the remaining juice on her lips off with her pink tongue.

Hot Damn. If that wasn't the sexiest thing I had ever seen, then I didn't know what was.

"Bella?"

I was brought back to reality with a jolt.

"What?" I asked, looking around quickly and hoping Alice hadn't noticed my complete lack of attention. I highly doubted that she didn't, but it was always nice to hope for it anyway.

"I was asking if you wanted to work on our project after school today." Her tone was sharp, but the smile she let slip after ruined the effect. She bit her lip just like she did in art yesterday and my stomach fluttered. She had the tiniest little scar under her bottom lip, even paler than her already ghostly skin, almost the color of the moon, with that inner glow that the moon had, too. I wouldn't have seen it otherwise, and it disappeared as she let her lip escape from between her teeth. I found myself wondering how she had gotten it.

Her eyes were staring at me expectantly, and I remembered that she had asked me a question. "Oh, uh," I stuttered, flushing as I tried to set aside the thoughts of her lips. "I don't know," I muttered slowly, hesitant. At her fallen face, I quickly elaborated, "I mean, Charlie and—" I didn't know how to finish. Thankfully, Alice did for me.

"You want to spend time with him, right?" She seemed glum, and guilt immediately welled in my chest as a picture of her own father flashed through my mind and the fact that she didn't have a parent that gave a damn about her. I may not have known Charlie that well, if at all, but at least he had shown me that he cared what the hell happened to me.

"Well," I struggled for the words that could fix this, "sort of, it's just, well…Charlie wanted to 'hang out' tonight. I'm not entirely sure what that means, and he said that was exactly why we had to do it." Alice laughed at my serious tone, as if I was joking. It was glorious.

Her white teeth glimmered in the awful florescent lighting of the lunch room, and I wondered how on Earth she was the only person who didn't look like they had just crawled out of a grave under these lights. Her head tipped back and I could see the roof of her mouth for the briefest of moments before she stuck her tongue between her teeth, smiling, and looked back at me. Running a hand across her red-streaked bangs, she tucked a bit of hair behind her ear before addressing me.

"You're too cute," she laughed, smiling widely.

My stomach did that flipping thing and my chest felt like someone was squeezing it. I couldn't breathe.

"I'm sorry," I blundered, standing abruptly. My chair screeched unpleasantly against the linoleum floor and I winced at the sound, feeling as if every set of eyes had turned to look at me. I hastily grabbed my bag, turning around and uttering, "I-I, I have to go." And then I left, gracelessly bumping my hip on the corner of the chair as I fled, swearing and rubbing my throbbing hipbone. It was just too much for me, and I felt confused, bewildered, and I just needed to wrap my head around what all of this meant.

I had never felt so confused in my life. Before I came here, I knew who I was and I had a place in the world, my world. I was Bella the Bitch, Bella the Hated, Bella the Lonely, but more importantly, I was Bella of the Volturi. And, lately, I was feeling more and more like I was losing those parts of myself. Sure, people still hated me, I was still lonely a lot of the time, and I was still a bitch most of the time, but I was identifying with that less and less, and that bothered the hell out of me. Fuck, I was even starting to wonder if I had a place within the Volturi anymore.

And, of course, I would always have that place, I had been reassured several times that I would always have that place, but I was starting to question whether I would be respected there again, if I had ever been respected. Surely I was a force to be reckoned with, and I deserved the respect, but there was something inside me, nagging, telling me different. My ties to the Volturi were coming more and more undone the longer I stayed and the one person who shouldn't be able to see past my walls and attitude did, and I just couldn't handle that right now.

Alice wasn't using me, like almost everyone else tried to do, and that threw me off. She never did anything I expected her to do, never acted the way I wanted her to. She was friendly one moment and cruel the next, and I just didn't know what to think. It didn't help that I couldn't think clearly in the first place when she was around, and I couldn't trust myself to know what all this meant. I just didn't know what to believe anymore. It had all changed by simply coming to this dismal town.

My stomach flip-flopped again at just the thought of her and her lovely smile.

Why was this happening to me? What was happening to me?

Digging around in my jacket pocket, I pulled out a cigarette and fumbled with the lighter, my thumb scrapping against the gear until it finally lit, and I took a deep inhale through the stick.

This would all be so much easier to understand if I knew her intentions. What did she want from me? I couldn't imagine what I could give her.

XXX

In Art, Alice simply gave me a strange look before continuing to draw my portrait. No words were exchanged and I spent the period trying to decipher what that look meant.

XXX

Charlie and I "bonded" over American football for a few hours that evening (a very strange sport that I did not see the point of, as it was definitely not as exciting as the football that we played back in Italy). I was almost relieved when Charlie was called back to the station. He wouldn't tell me why, and I couldn't imagine what could happen in this little town that was bigger than a speeding ticket.

That left me alone in the house and, about twenty minutes after he left, I decided that I should go to bed and at least try to sleep. It was so fucking cold in the house that I put on a pair of thick, wooly socks, a thermal, and a pair of sweatpants, crawling into my bed like some pathetic, sniveling creature and turning on the heated mattress pad Charlie had been gracious enough to buy for me once he had figured out I wasn't use to anything colder than about fifty degrees Fahrenheit.

I lay for awhile under the heavy layer of blankets, shivering. It was practically freezing outside, which meant my room was about ten degrees colder. I couldn't understand why, and had never had to live in cold weather like this before. Italy was a generally warm, sunny place, and Forks was a shock to my system. I wasn't built for this type of weather—I didn't have the immunity that everyone else seemed to have—nor did I know where to locate the switch for the heater, let alone how to operate it once I did manage to stumble upon it. Knowing my luck, I would mix up my Celsius to Fahrenheit conversion and, possibly, blow the damn thing sky high.

It finally became too much and I got up, whimpering slightly as the cool air bit at the exposed parts of my body. I shuffled quickly over to my dresser, pulling out a pair of rarely used knitted gloves and a matching cap. I then rolled back into my bed, pulling the blankets back over myself hastily. It still wasn't enough though, and eventually the cold became too much and I forced myself out of bed again and shuffled to Charlie's bedroom. I knew he wouldn't mind if I borrowed one of his numerous hooded sweatshirts, as I didn't really own anything like that, and grabbed the thickest looking one in his closet, which happened to have "SEAWORLD" printed along the back of it. I vaguely remembered going there with him when I was little, and pulled on the jacket, immediately feeling much warmer than before as I scuttled back bed. I knew that Aro would laugh his ass off if he saw me in all this, but he wasn't being forced to live in this icebox.

It was actually kind of painful as my hands started to thaw, and an hour later I was finally warm enough to fall asleep. As I drifted, I absentmindedly wished I had a ski mask to cover my nose, but I wasn't quite sure how to go about getting one.

XXX

Alice picked me up again Friday morning, even earlier than the day before, but this time I was ready for her. I even had time to put some salve on the goodbye present from Giorgio before she got there. I was starting to become a little concerned, as the wound was beginning to look a bit infected. I just hoped that it would go away on its own, so I wouldn't have to go to a doctor, who would make a mess of things that I would have to painstakingly clean up if I ever wanted to go back to Italy.

Something that I thought resembled disappointment flickered across Alice's face as I opened the door, fully dressed and ready to go, but it was gone too quickly for me to know for sure. As we left the house, I looked at her face. Something about it was different, and as I examined it while she pulled out of my driveway, I realized that her face looked a little swollen. Her eye makeup also looked darker than usual, and I wondered to myself if Charlie getting called out last night was related to it in any way. I quickly brushed those thoughts away. I would not speculate or pry into Alice's life. It was hers and hers alone, and she had respected my privacy so far.

Once we were on the road, she turned up the volume on her radio. The music pounded through the car, and something about it made my heart race and clench at the same time.

"You like Nirvana?" Alice asked while still staring at the road. I hadn't even realized that I was tapping my foot to it, my fingers twitching on my thigh as the beats reverberated through me.

"Nair – what?" I asked intelligently.

"Nirvana, not 'Nair' like the hair removing stuff. 'Ner,' like…nerd, without the d." I wanted to hide as I realized how stupid I must have sounded. Pay attention, Bella.

Her explanation made no sense whatsoever, but I did admit to her that I liked the beat. Alice turned the volume almost impossibly louder and rolled down the Volvo's windows so that the rest of the town could enjoy the rasping yet appealing voice as it blared from the speakers.

After awhile we pulled up to the school, and I thought I heard Alice mumble, "I still can't believe you've never heard of Nirvana. You must have been raised under a rock."

XXX

Although we had Gym together right before lunch, I didn't see her in class and I wondered briefly, again, if it was linked to her overly dark makeup. She reappeared at lunch and sat with me again, though she hadn't so much as spoke to me once after we arrived at school.

As she sat next to me, bantering about random things, most of which I couldn't follow, I saw something in her eyes. I was still confused over what all of this meant, everything I was feeling and how we had so suddenly…I didn't even know what to call it. But as I saw that thing in her eyes, that…light, and I couldn't help but think that coming to Forks was the best thing that had happened to me so far. I was away from Giorgio, away from Renee, and with a parent who actually seemed to give a shit about me. I also had someone now, who seemed to care, who seemed to want to be near me. I didn't know exactly what to call her, was she a friend? I had never had one before, as Aro and I weren't really friends, so I wasn't sure. Whatever she was, Alice was amazing. Even though she made me feel more confused with each time I saw her, she was amazing.

And wasn't that really all that mattered?

XXX

After school, I got into the Volvo with Alice and she drove to my house so we could finish up her part of the project. I still hadn't seen Alice's sketch yet, and I was slightly nervous. How had she drawn me? Casual? Deep in thought? No one had ever drawn me before, and it somehow felt like I was baring myself to the world, even though it wasn't even my work. But it was me. It was me, and I felt…uncomfortable. However she decided to draw me, it would be a part of my soul that was going to be revealed to everyone in our mediocre Art class, and I had a feeling that it would not be the ass-kicking part that I wanted people to see.

I led her upstairs to my room, opening the door once I reached it and walking in. She hesitated in the doorway, even though she had seen it before, looking at what had become my life for the next few months that I was forced to stay here. The various paintings and sketches I had completed since arriving were still posted on the walls, and I shifted from foot to foot, slightly uneasy as she surveyed them with a completely blank face, as if absorbing them one by one. I stood at the end of my bed, directly in front of the door, and turned to face her.

"Well, do come in," I said, sweeping my arm around like my room was on show. "You're not a vampire, are you?" She laughed at my lame attempt at a joke, even though it wasn't that funny, and stepped over the threshold. She set her bag down and spun herself into my desk chair. It was surreal—Alice Masen was in my room, and although she had seen it yesterday, this time was different. I felt…naked.

"Okay," she started, cutting to the chase. "We should get started." She bent down to retrieve her sketch pad and I saw the briefest glimpse of her round, perky breasts as she leaned over. I jerked my head away, not wanting to violate her body with my curious gaze. Once she straightened again, I looked back over at her.

"How—how do you want to do this?" I asked, not entirely sure what to do. I felt more than awkward every time we did this.

"Just like last time—why don't you work on something? You're always so nervous, just relax." She smiled reassuringly and I nodded, grabbing my math homework from my bag and sitting down on my bed, cross-legged. I began hammering out the problems, trying desperately to understand the complex worksheet Mr. Varner decided to curse me with today.

Eventually I sighed, tucking my hair behind my ear, and looked up. I was completely stumped, and Alice met my gaze when she noticed I was no longer hunched over. "What's wrong?" she questioned, closing her pad and unfolding herself from my desk chair.

"Oh, I just don't understand these problems—" I huffed, feeling embarrassed and a little mad that I was struggling with this so fucking much. I hadn't had a mathematics class in ages, and it wasn't fresh in my mind like it was for everyone else.

She sat down next to me on the bed, looking over my shoulder to see what was going on. "Oh, that's easy," she said casually, taking the pencil from my hand to write in the book on my lap. I jumped slightly as her fingers brushed against mine and her body pressed against me. "You know how to do this, just distribute the negative and—" she continued to direct me, but I didn't hear her. I couldn't tear my eyes away from her face, her hair, her eyes, as she explained this supposedly "easy" problem.

She straightened suddenly, and I realized she had finished her explanation of how to solve the problem. I looked back down at the paper and her slightly sloppy notes on the page. When I looked up our noses were almost touching.

Alice's eyes were swirling clouds of the palest green. They were much too close, filling my vision. I felt dizzy.

Why had I invited her over, again?

Oh, because today was Friday, and she still needed to finish drawing my portrait so that I could have hers done by Tuesday.

She was getting closer, her breath hot on my face, and I couldn't move away.

Fuck.