Deep Within

So I am going to start up the next chapter lol I really missed typing this fanfic. I can't believe that before I updated last night that I hadn't updated since 2014! I am a horrible author! * Faceplants Wall *

But I am here now and plan to get as many chapters done fore this as possible. So wish me luck.

TRIGGER WARNING CHAPTER

Don't forget to leave a review!

Chapter Twelve:

It's been at least a few days now since the four of us had returned to the school and we instantly noticed the changes. There were less students dressed in the uniforms. Some were wearing a beige colored uniform they were being called finders. The finders were sent out to find any possible people who could become a project or those who were originally in the program and had escaped. Then there were some wearing the black with silver lining uniforms, they were the new projects is what Lenalee learned from Komui. She also learned those of us with the black with red lining uniforms were the original projects. Then there were the mysterious Crow members they wore an all black uniform accompanied with a hooded leather trench coat. Suddenly the school went from an academic academy to some sort of government training facility. I wasn't scared because I remember the last time we had to go through this, but I was still worried because my family wasn't here. I did know they were stationed somewhere in town and only allowed to see me once a week. I kept amulet half on me at all times, especially when I caught a Crow member rummaging through our dorm room one day. I never told anyone that because Kanda especially would have a freak out.

That was another thing, Kanda and I were still together but our relationship had take a change. We were no longer intimate with one another. He was in full out protective mode. It had gotten to the point where I wanted to be left a lone and didn't keep by them during the day and hid off somewhere watching everyone. The only time I saw anyone was during meals and at night. Kanda, Lavi and myself slept in our own beds now after my fight with Kanda our second day back. He had started it and I had refused to back down. I was tired of always being protected. I was also going through some psychological therapy with Link and I felt like I was slowly loosing my mind with everything he would talk to me about. My first session he had brought up about a past that I no longer knew, the past before I was a project. I kept everything to myself now and I knew Lenalee for one was worried but she wouldn't ask. No one would ask.

So right now I was sitting in a conference room with the other three along with Adam, Cross, and Neah. We were being lectured from becoming distant. Lavi immediately blamed me and the other two didn't voice any objections. This resulted in my uncle trying to talk to me but I kept my mouth firmly shut. The only thing I ever muttered was for them not to worry about anything that everything was still going to plan. I couldn't help how my voice was so emotionless. I was surprised when Cross backhanded me. This started an all out screaming fight between everyone. I didn't realize I had been thrown into a panic until the wooden table separating everyone exploded into shards, shutting everyone up. I had my head down, my hands folded into my lap clenched tightly together. I felt tears landing onto my skin. I couldn't think straight anymore.

"Allen, drop the barrier. We're not going to hurt you." Neah was the first to speak, standing from his chair holding his hands up. I could feel everyone's eyes focused on me. Adverting my eyes up, I looked through my bangs and looked to everyone. I knew what was about to occur when Neah motioned for my three comrades to move to them then Adam and Cross exchanging looks. I knew what they planned, they were going to sedate me. Before anyone could even move I projected my barrier out knocking everyone into the walls and ran out of the room. I refused to look back. I ran till I was now sitting in one of the attic towers sitting on the window seat my knees drawn up and starring out the window. I still felt tears cascading down my cheeks. This was my hiding spot, no one knew to look for me here. I heard my cellphone going off and recognized it as Lenalee's ringtone, next came Lavi's then Cross, my two idiotic relatives and lastly Kanda's. When my uncle began to call again I rejected the call and pulled the battery out throwing the pieces across the room. I stayed in my spot watching the sky as it changed into sunset, dinner would be served soon. I knew my uncle, Neah and Cross would not leave the academy till I was found, so with a heavy sigh I got up from my spot, put my phone back together then headed back down the stairs into the school. I had run into Link first and her relayed to me that everyone looking for me had returned to the conference room to wait for me. So I went straight there, and Link was right all of them were there looking stressed. I wasn't surprised to have Lenalee run over and hug onto me when I walked back into the room.

"Never in my years would I have ever believed you'd find a hiding spot none of us could find." Cross spoke taking a step towards me, but I only backed away from him. He only sighed.

"I think we're done for tonight, it's late and you kids need to go eat. Knowing Allen he hasn't eaten anything since he hid all day. We will see you kids next week." Adam spoke, Neah gave me a worried glance and I just looked away and then left. I don't know if anyone followed me but I didn't go to the cafeteria. I wasn't hungry. I went straight to the dorm room and locked myself into the bathroom sitting on the floor against the floor. I had my head leaned back and my eyes closed, I carry headphones with my everywhere and slipped them one before setting up my phone to where I wouldn't receive phone calls or texts and just turned my music on full blast. I vaguely noted the song I had on repeat was titled Kiss of Death. The soft piano music relaxed me and slowly I was becoming numb.

After a while I pulled the headphone jack out of the phone and let the music fill the bathroom as I got up and turned the shower on. I set the phone on the sink vanity counter before I slowly stripped myself of my clothes. The cold air which hit my skin sent tiny shivers run through me but I ignored them before climbing into the shower and allowed the water to completely drench me before sitting on the floor. I had stolen something from the infirmary after my fight with Kanda and had hide it in the shower behind my bottles of shampoo, conditioner and body wash. It made me glad that the three of us each had our own things. Back to the point, I had snuck into the infirmary the night of the second day after Kanda and my fight and stole one of the scalpels. I hadn't used it yet, but I was about to this very moment. It didn't seem like a big deal to me. Wisely cut to, just I wasn't sure if still did since he was caught.

Reaching out I grabbed the scalpel by the tip of the blade before using my other hand to grab around the handle and just starred at it intently. With a sigh I closed my eyes and brought the blade to my wrist of my now tattooed arm. If I cut here no one would be able to see because it had been tattooed black. No one would find out until I ran out of space in the area. I didn't just make one slice, but four slices for each day we had been back to the academy. It hurt at first but soon the pain dulled and I felt a wave of numbness course through me. I cleaned the blood off of the scalpel before returning it to its hiding spot then proceeded to watch the blood drip from my arm onto the shower floor then it was washed away into the drain. I stayed in the shower until no blood flowed from my new cuts. They had already scabbed over since I didn't make them that deep. Climbing out of the shower I changed into the pair of pajamas I kept in there after every morning. Even though the cutting made me feel numb I couldn't help sitting back on the floor in between the wall and sink hugging my knees to me and hiding my face into my drawn up knees. Still tears found their way to my eyes.

I felt myself curl tighter into myself when I heard the bathroom door open, even though I knew I locked it, one of them still managed to get it open. I didn't dare look to see who it was, I was too afraid to see their face. Too afraid to see the fear lingering in their eyes. Regardless of if they knew I saw or not, I saw the fear in Kanda, Lenalee and Lavi's eyes and it only made me feel entirely alone. I heard the person walk forward then sit in front of me. Neither of us said a word and soon two more pairs of feet entered the room before finding places to sit.

"Allen please talk to us." I heard Lenalee's tiny voice and I only bit my lip to keep the sob from choking out.

"Look Moyashi we're all stressed but to keep yourself sane you need to talk to us." Lavi barked out and I heard a double slap, one from each of the other two occupants.

"Lavi shut the fuck up this shit is harder on him than the rest of us you baka Usagi." Kanda growled out and I found myself peering out to see concern shining through Lenalee's eyes, Lavi had his joking look again and Kanda, well his eyes were his own again. They weren't facing me so I knew their guard was down in showing their true emotions.

"Dude harder on him?! Shut the fuck up Kanda! He's not the only one being badgered by the two dots about where our half of the amulet is!" Lavi whined.

"He's not asking me for the Amulet's location." I finally spoke hiding my face into my knees again.

"What?" Lavi's voice was full of disbelief.

"It doesn't matter though okay. I'm fine okay so stop worrying about me!" I found myself snapping.

"Could you two please leave? And shut the door on your way out?" Kanda asked, and I guess the other two listened because I heard them walk out then the door was shut. I felt fingers pushed into my hair before I felt my wrist grabbed and I was slightly yanked forward until I was forced to look at Kanda. I couldn't help the wince of pain since he was tightly holding onto my cut wrist. If his hold tightened anymore then my cuts would bleed again. I watched as his eyes narrowed at me and my eyes widened and I yanked my arm back bringing my wrist to my chest cradling it.

"What did you do Allen?!" He asked his eyes were filled with so much anger. I couldn't believe this, I was going to be caught on my first day. It took a year before we caught Wisely. Why was this happening to me. Immediately I stood to my feet and tried to escape but was caught into Kanda's arms before I was shoved against the closed bathroom door my hands pinned above my hand by his one hand. He was glaring down at me.

"You better tell me Allen! Do NOT make me look myself!" Kanda hissed, but I kept my head turned away. And then I felt his fingers grab the sleeve of my tattooed arm.

"STOP!" I heard myself scream out but it was too late my sleeve was pulled down and his fingertips were tracing over the four cuts I made. I tried to get away again but I was still pinned to the wall. I felt trapped and I couldn't help but allow my sobs out. Finally Kanda let my hands go and I immediately rushed back to my corner in between the wall and vanity. I curled up as tight as could my arms tightly wrapped around my knees and my face hidden in my knees I couldn't stop the sobs. Kanda didn't come back and I heard him shout at the other two to not go near me. I heard my phone buzzing but I ignored it. I stayed there even when the light was turned out on me and I noticed the light was turned off in the dorm. I waited a little longer before I left the bathroom and left the dorm, being as quiet as I could. I guess a stormed had rolled in because every once in a while a thunder clapped from outside, but even though it was raining I still went outside to the same running trails where Kanda had waited for me. I didn't care that it was super cold outside and that the raindrops were like ice to my skin. I was hated and that was that! I found myself by a tiny little bridge sitting by the stream. The wind blew against me and made everything so much colder but I refused to go back in. It was in the heart if the storm when the images flashed through my eyes. I couldn't believe that they came so easily. Even with my body practically frozen I tried to get back to the school as fast as could then to the dorm room where I stumbled in unable to stand anymore from being so cold. I guess I woke someone up because the light flicked on.

"Allen?" I heard Lavi ask, I was curled into a ball trying to get warm.

"Kanda get your ass up!" Lavi then shouted and I felt warm hands on my skin.

"You fucking idiot why the hell did you go outside?!" Kanda shouted lifting me into his arms before we were sitting on his bed his legs and arms wrapped tightly around me. His extreme body heat beginning to warm me up.

"I-I kn-know wh-wher-where the a-a-amul-let i-is." My teeth chattered as I spoke Lavi had run out probably to go get Lenalee. Kanda shushed me rocking us back and forth his chin resting onto the top of my head.

"I-I'm-m so-sor-ry." I chattered again feeling my eyes beginning to become heavy. Kanda pinched me and I jerked awake.

"I was scared twice today Allen. I thought I was going to loose you. You've been so distant that I don't know how to react so when I found out you were hiding something and you tried to run from me, I exploded and hurt you. You need to communicate with us Allen." Kanda spoke and I lifted my head to stare at him. His eyes were full of worry again.

"I-I'm sorry." I felt tears fall again as I dropped my head, I felt his fingertips graze my cheek before he lifted my head to look up at him.

"Stop apologizing." He whispered before pressing his lips against mine, I lifted my hand and pressed it to his chest over his tattoo.

"Lets get you a warm shower and changed, then we're going to go get that amulet." He whispered lifting me into his arms and carried me into the bathroom shutting and locking the door, then he turned the hot water on then sat me onto the vanity. I starred into his eyes looking as deep into them as I could as he undid the buttons of my top sliding it from my shoulders.

"Why did you have fear in your eyes these past three days? I was beginning to think you were afraid of me." I asked finally happy that my voice was no longer chattering. Kanda sighed and this worried me.

"I was afraid of you, but not entirely in that sense. I was afraid of you because you were beginning to destroy yourself with locking everything up inside." He explained and I found myself smiling to myself before pushing off the the vanity and onto my feet pushing my pants and boxers down. I then walked around Kanda and reached to where I had the scalpel grabbing it before turning and holding it out to him.

"Take it." I simply said and Kanda didn't even hesitate to take it from me, I watched as he slipped it into a drawer.

"Get showered then meet me back in the room. We get this done tonight." He said then left, I nodded my head and soon the four of us were sitting in the dorm room everyone sat quietly as I drew the map of what I saw in detail, even the map on how to get out of the facility and escape. After we were sure what we were doing we left the room keeping to the shadows and out of site. I knew something bad was going to happen and I saw it happening but this was our only open chance. We entered Komui's office and I pulled the book that revealed the secret passageway. I didn't look back at anyone and just made the decent down the stairs my hand gripping onto Kanda's afraid and knowing this will be the last time I ever saw him as my boyfriend. Walking through the corridoors it wasn't hard to find the room with the Amulet inside. The other half was silver making the piece resemble the sun and moon. Letting Kanda's hand go I walked up to the podium and lifted the amulet unzipping my jacket pocket I slipped it into it with the other half then zipped it up. I ran back to my friends and in the instant the alarm went off with red lights flashing on and other, I used my abilities to make a hole in the floor below us.

"Time to go." Lavi shouted and the four of use jumped down landing in the sewers we heard shouts above us and we began running taking a turn every time I saw it in my mind. The Crows weren't that far behind us shooting tranquilizers at us.

"SHIT!" Lavi yelled when we came to a skidded stop, we were at the exit of the sewer only to see it was a 100ft drop, and because of it being dark and foggy we couldn't tell what the bottom looked like.

"That's as far as you four go!" I turned to see Lvellie standing there, Link right beside him.

"Fuck off hitler look alike!" Kanda hissed keeping me pushed behind him.

"How sad, hand over both pieces of the amulet and Allen. You were warned not to meddle in our affairs but you did anyways." Lvellie said his voice full of disappointment.

"We're not handing him over you monster!" Lenalee screamed stepping in a way where she was helping Kanda keeping me shielded and soon Lavi to was doing the same.

"Do you three even know who or what he is?" Link asked stepping forward. "Think about it why do you think we need both halves AND Allen himself." He continued.

"So you can control him as a weapon." Lavi said matter of factly and Link only sighed.

"Allen your uncle told you Mana and Him had been the previous keeps of the amulet correct?" Link then asked and I could only nod my head slowly.

"Well they lied to you, the amulet has been in dormant for the past thousands of years." He said taking another step toward us.

"STOP!" I screamed out and he did.

"You don't remember anything of your past before being in the Order with the other projects do you? Mana surpressed those memories really well didn't he? Him and Caroline both." Link spoke standing in his spot I felt myself drop to my knees and I used my hands to cover my ears.

"Shut up! ShutupShutupShutup!" I screamed at him

"Allen Walker, you and Alma were born twins. He was not created from your DNA. You two were only told that to create a rift. The Order tried to get you two back from Mana but the damage had already been done." Link continued.

"I SAID SHUT UP! I DON'T REMEMBER FOR ALL I KNOW YOU COULD BE LYING AS WELL DAMN IT!" I screamed at him then I watched Link sigh and then in an instant Lavi, Lenalee and Kanda were thrown into the side walls being held there by talismans and Link was now standing directly in front of me.

"It's a shame that Alma is now dead the Amulet will be driving you mad." Link explained and when I tried to attack him Talismans were wrapped around me like a rope subduing me.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Kanda screamed I could hear him thrashing.

"Do not fret boy, the three of you will have no memories of him come tomorrow morning. Link please release the boy of his torment." Lvellie laughed before giving Link the order. Link only nodded before putting his index and middle fingertips to my forehead.

"Rota fourtunae octo imaginibus. Tu clavis ad universum alienum es. Anni permulti ego te indagavi. Et ego preicula multa superavi." Link chanted next all I could hear was my screams.

The wheel of fortune adorned in eight figures. You unlock it to new grounds. Many years I looked. Thru perils I endured in search of it.

The talismans that were wrapped around me had released me and now spun around me in a tornado like cyclone. My entire body burned and images played in my head of a time where Alma and I had parents in a small town and we were happy. It was when Lvellie first came and took us did I understand. Alma and I were the Amulet, the pieces we just gathered was what sealed our powers. I watched as the two halves were suddenly floating before me glowing that bright green. Suddenly it rammed into my chest and and I was lying on the ground unable to move. Kanda was over to me so I guess him and the other had been released.

"What the fuck did you do to him?!" Lavi shouted as Kanda lifted me into his arms his hand patting me on the cheek. But I couldn't move or even talk.

"We released the hold on his memories and unsealed his and Alma's abilities from those two items putting them into him." Link explained.

"That amulet fused together and entered Allens body you fucking retards!" Lavi shouted he was now kneeling by Kanda and I, I felt Lenalee behind us.

"Take Allen and secure him in a sealed room, then proceed to erase the memories of those three." Lvellie gave the order. Lenalee screamed I turned my head to see the Crows coming toward us.

"Loka peim" I whispered and suddenly the water we sat in shot up forming a wall before turning into steel.

"We need to go now." Kanda said standing with me in his arms facing the exit of the sewer. I blacked out the moment the four of us were descending in the air.

"So you remember?" Alma asked standing before me.

"Yes, we were brothers. We were twins. We were once happy and they took it from us." I spoke clenching my fists.

"Who is they?" Alma then asked.

"Mana, Caroline and the Black Order. All Uncle Adam and the Noah family ever wanted was to protect us." I cried looking to the ground crying.

"You're correct, because of them everyone we once knew and love are dead we are the last of the Icelandic Village they raided, and we're not alone. Fight little brother, do not let them win." Alma spoke walking over and wrapping his arms around me.

"We could have been close but they kept us away from each other, they made us think other things! I can't do this alone I already feel the weight of everything." I kept crying wrapping my arms around Alma tightly holding onto him.

"You won't be alone, stay hidden until the third night." He whispered then everything became black.

I opened my eyes to see myself starring at a ceiling that I had never seen before. Sitting up everything was pitch black dark but to me everything seemed like it was day out. I knew it was from the new powers inside of me. I could feel the electrifying pulse coursing through me. I slid from the bed and walked over to the window and saw there were nothing but trees around. I had no idea where I was.

"I see you're finally awake." I turn around and see Adam standing in the doorway a look of hesitance in his eyes.

"I don't understand anything uncle and I'm so scared in a simple thought I could hurt someone!" I cried out putting my hand to my face.

"Come here it is time that you found out the truth." Adam motioned for me to follow him and I did, once in the hallway I finally recognized the house, it was our vacation home in Germany.

"How long have I been unconscious?" I asked.

"Two days." He answered and I could only sigh.

"How is..." I didn't even get to finish my sentence when all of a sudden I was wrapped in strong arms from behind.

"All of us are fine Allen." I heard Kanda whisper his forehead rested onto my shoulder.

"I'm sorry for worrying anyone." I whisper back placing my hand over his arms around me.

"You didn't worry anyone, you only exhausted yourself, but you've been muttering to yourself and that worried me." He explained.

"Alma came to me moments before I woke up and told me not worry and to keep hidden until the third night which will be tomorrow night I believe." I explained and Kanda turned me around in his arms.

"Then we will keep you hidden. Do you know why you need to stay hidden until then?" He asked and I only shook my head.

"Well for whatever the reason we will be ready." He said with a small smile before leaning his head down before kissing the pentacle on my forehead. "Now go talk with your uncle I will see you in a bit." He said before walking off. I could only smile before turning back around and following my uncle. We entered his office and took seat at the couch that was in their.

"Alma and you came from a small village 50 miles from the village of Reykholt. The village you and him came from had no name and didn't interact with any outsiders much. You kept to yourselves because your people were very superstitious. Mana and I were the first ones to encounter your village and were the first of any outsiders to be allowed to learn your history. That was 17 years ago. We came to the village on the day of You and Alma's birth during the celebration." He began and I could only sit there and take everything in.

"Why was our birth being celebrated?" I asked and I watched Adam smile softly.

"Because you two were the first two twins to be born in the village for thousands of years. Only twins could hold the power of the amulet. I had no clue what Mana was planning till five years later when Lvellie arrived to the village. The Black Order try to kill everyone but I managed to save a handful of children of different ages. They were deemed to be guardians of the twins, but you two had been taken along with a few other children who became the original projects." He explained and I felt slowly loosing my mind.

"What of our parents?" I asked looking into my lap now.

"You mother died trying to protect you and your father and oldest brother were tricked into working for them with the promise that you two would be unharmed. In the end your father quit and joined up with us. Your oldest brother. No such luck he is still working for them." Adam finished all I could do was turn my head and stare out the window watching the moon. It would be a full moon tomorrow night.

"Allen?"

"What were Alma and my names? Our real names?" I then asked looking back to him.

"Alma was Ari and you were Trudur. Ari meant demon and Trudur meant Clown. Strange names but as you two grew, you grew into your names." Adam explained and I couldn't help but laugh a little.

"I like my name being Allen and Alma's name Alma. What was my father's name?" I asked afraid find out the name.

"His name was Yfir and your oldest brothers name was Hlekkur. They chose to eventually use the english versions of their names so it was easier to pronounce." He explained and I slowly closed my eyes.

"Tell me." I said and I only heard my uncle sigh.

"I think you already know that answer my boy. Go talk to him, he is expecting you. Speak to him in you native tongue. I assure you, you have never forgotten it." Adam smiled and I nodded my head leaving the room and heading down to where I heard voices. Everyone was sitting in the den talking and I was glad when no one acknowledged me, but I knew they were aware of me. I walked straight to Cross who was sitting in an arm chair wine glass in one hand.

"Can I help you Allen?" He asked

"Eg veit hver pu ert." I said quietly looking down at my feet, hoping that I was correct. I watched Cross set his wine glass down before reaching out and pulling me into his arms.

"Velkomin til baka son minn." He answered and I felt myself smile burying my face in his chest. This feeling was familiar and I understood why he had never done it before.

"About fucking time." I heard Tyki mutter and I turned my head to look at him growling deeply. Everyone erupted into laughter. I looked over to see Kanda standing in the entry way smiling to me. Letting Cross and and Tyki have at each other I padded over to Kanda wrapping my arms around him.

"Watch the sunrise with me?" He asked and I nodded my. The both of us walked outside and traveled through the forest until we came a field and sat down watching the horizon.

"So I guess all of us are from an unknown village in Iceland." Kanda muttered with a sigh.

"I guess so, but I don't think it was nameless. I think it did have a name just only the residents were allowed to know." I smiled slightly bending my knees and hooking my hands under them.

"I agree with you what word pops into your mind?" Kanda asked and I just smiled.

"Sakleysi." I answer looking to him watching him nod his head that he agreed with my answer.

"Allen you know this is no longer a mission to protect you. This is a mission to avenge the destruction of our home and the death of our loved ones. Is it just me or do you feel like your mother is still alive as well?" Kanda spoke and I could only close my eyes at his question.

"I would like to believe that she is alive, but I am doubting that she is. Maybe at one point when we were kids she was but not now. But the feeling you get I believe is that she is alive in our hearts and minds. I remember that everyone adored her in our home and I remember always being confused when someone was mean to her. Only people I ever saw be directly mean to her was Mana and our oldest brother Link." I explain before standing to my feet and linking my hands to behind my back.

"Allen?" Kanda asked.

"Every time us twins our born we are given the same names always. I have this feeling that with my name now Allen and Alma being named Alma the fate of time is changing. I have a good feeling that this time around things will be different. I'm glad I am getting to spend it with you Yu Kanda." I smile turning to face him. Watching a smile dance across his lips I watch Kanda stand to his feet and come to stand directly in front of me.

"And I am glad to be able to spend it with you as well Allen Walker." He answered back linking his fingers under my chin slightly lifting it up before pressing his lips to mine. I unlinked my hands from behind my back and raised them to wrap my arms around Kanda's neck bringing myself closer to him.

The both of us never got to see the sun rise for we had fallen asleep laying in the field in each others arms. The suns rays were so warm and the gentle breeze kept us from over heating. I opened my eyes to see the white fluffy cotton candy like clouds stick out in the bright blue sky. I adjusted until I was able to look into Kanda's sleeping face trying not to giggle at the small snores that came from his mouth.

"Yu, come one lets go get breakfast." I say sitting up and poking his cheek until his eyes fluttered open. Giving me a smile he sits up and lightly pecks my lips with his own before lifting me into his arms and carried me back to the house. I wasn't surprised to see chaos was ensuing with Lenalee and Road chasing the deranged twins Jasdero and Devit around. I had Kanda set me down and the both of us walked into the house and straight to the kitchen. I wander what will be happening this night that Alma warned me about.

Hey everyone so I added more plot twists and what not this was a ride for me! Well the chapter was going to be longer but I lost inspiration towards the end so I will continue this in the next chapter. Don't forget to leave me a review!

Loka peim= Block Them

Eg veit hver pu ert. = I know who you are

Velkomin til baka son minn.= Welcome back my son.

Sakleysi.= Innocence