Thank you for the reviews on the last chapter. I was worried about that one because of what was happening with Lily- but it went well, so I'm glad! On with the next chapter!

Coping: Chapter 4- Take My Hand

Cal arrived outside of Ethan's room, but his hand hovered over the door handle. He wearily looked at Zoe and she nodded. Cal placed his hand on the handle and pushed it down. He opened the door and slowly stepped in, immediately stopping a few steps into the room when he took in the state of his brother.

Yes, he'd seen what patients in ITU looked like, but for some reason, Ethan looked different. Maybe it was because this was his brother. Every machine's noise seemed to amplify, every tube seemed to multiply. He recognised all of the equipment. From the heart monitor to the BP cuff to the feeding tube to make sure Ethan stayed healthy enough while in this state.

"Sit down, Cal." Zoe suggested softly, bringing up a chair and placing it beside the bed. Cal stood for a few moments before making his way to the chair and slowly sitting. He scanned his brother again. There were so many wires and tubes and noises and it wasn't at all natural.

He considered holding Ethan's hand but he couldn't. He physically couldn't bring himself to hold his little brother's hand knowing that the one person he'd let down was the one person he'd sworn to protect. Ethan was like this because of him and Cal didn't know how he would ever forgive himself.

"Do you want me to leave?" Zoe asked kindly, smiling.

Cal tuned his head frantically to her, "please don't."

"Okay, I won't." She said as she drew up another chair and sat beside Cal by way of supporting him.

Cal continued to stare at Ethan. He noticed his brother had a pale face. It was nearly as white as a sheet and his usual red tint on his cheeks was gone. His breathing was pratically mechanical, and he wasn't moving. It hurt Cal.

"You can say something to him," said Zoe, trying to encourage him.

"Like what?"

Zoe thought for a moment or two, "take his hand, and tell him how much you care for him."

Cal wanted to do as Zoe said. He wanted to try. He reached his own hand out to Ethan's cold and limp one, wondering if he could bring himself to actually hold it. He slipped his hand into Ethan's and felt his own heart speed up. This all made it too real. He withdrew his hand, got up, and stormed out of the room slamming the door shut behind him.

Zoe sighed.

"Sorry about that loud noise, Ethan." She said, moving up to Cal's seat and holding Ethan's hand herself. He'd probably been so alone without Cal there. She wondered how many visitors he had. She'd seen him a couple of times. He really must have been so alone. "Maybe you should try waking up soon, eh? We'd all like to see that smile of yours again." She smiled sadly to herself.

Since the moment she'd met Ethan, she'd taken a professional liking to him. She'd also known him a little better and would consider him a friend. He was charming, in an odd way, funny, likeable, and a fantastic doctor. He was certainly missed in the ED.

"You better wake up soon, Ethan. We all miss you and need you, Cal especially. He needs his brother back, and I'm sure you do too."

Then Ethan's hand twitched. Zoe's eyes widened in aprehension and she squeezed Ethan's hand gently. "Ethan, it's Zoe, can you hear me?" She felt a light pressure on her hand and she smiled. "Everything will be alright, Ethan. You need to stay calm. Can you try and open your eyes for me?"

Zoe watched Ethan, scanned his face. She saw Ethan's eyes open a touch before they were closed again. "Well done, Ethan." She praised. Then she remembered.

"Cal! Cal!" She called frantically, but there was no answer. He was gone.