"You are such an idiot."

Fitz rolled his eyes. He was talking to his sister Madeline on the phone as he finished packing for Kauai. They tried to talk at least once a month, which was difficult enough to maintain since she was a doctor with two kids.

"Thanks, Mad. That's super sweet of you."

"You've had what you just described to me as, and I quote, a fantastic fucking month, with your seemingly amazing girlfriend. You're an idiot."

"We are figuring it out! We have a schedule. We'll talk every day."

"You have a schedule. How romantic." Now she was the one rolling her eyes.

"It's worth a shot, right?"

"I don't know Fitzwilliam. Is it?"

He rolled his eyes again, and smiled, at her using the name she had called him after reading Pride and Prejudice.

"Of course it is. Hence the schedule."

"I don't know," Madeline said, trailing off.

"What? Just say it."

"I'm concerned that you're blowing this, dear brother. I'm concerned that you can't see the forest through the trees. I'm concerned that you're escaping New York at the expense of your first real shot at love."

The Grant women had been raised to share their opinions. He had asked. It still stung.

"Hate to say this, but this whole plan is pretty idiotic."

Olivia was having dinner with her coworker Abigail. She agreed, the plan was idiotic. But she still felt the way she had when Fitz had sprung this on her. She felt powerless. She couldn't make him stay, but she didn't want him to go.

"Abs, I know it's not ideal. But what can I do?" she said, taking a sip of her wine.

"You can tell him to man up! New York is great. It's extra great if you have a custom penthouse that you never have to leave and a smoking hot and brilliant girlfriend. Boo hoo. Fitz Grant, grow a pair."

Olivia laughed heartily, but also felt a shot of guilt for laughing when she knew why Fitz wanted to go. She hadn't shared all of the details with Abigail. They were personal and he had shared them with her when he was emotionally vulnerable.

"It's a great apartment," she agreed.

"Blah blah the apartment. YOU are great! Why the hell is he leaving all the greatness?"

"He's not leaving me. We're going to do the long-distance thing."

Abs sighed. "Right. I just don't know," she said, trailing off.

"What? Just say it."

"I'm worried you aren't cut out for a long-distance thing. I'm worried you're going to try and give up. I'm worried you're going to give up on your first real shot at love."

Olivia had asked, and Abigail had answered. Olivia was worried, too.

Fitz and Olivia had had a lovely month together. She thought about their last date as she took a bus downtown to his apartment. He had texted to say he was finished packing, and they were going to watch a movie.

Their last date had been to a hole-in-the-wall sushi restaurant and a walk through Central Park and the Upper West Side. It was mid-November, and some businesses had started putting up their holiday decorations. It was blustery, so they had huddled together, walking down the streets each with an arm around the other. Fitz had been wearing a wool hat, which Olivia had adored for two reasons. One, he flopped just right and his curls stuck out at the bottom. He had grown his hair during his break from work. Two, it was a natural disguise.

They had stopped to sit on a bench and eat some nuts from a sidewalk stand.

"Does your beach house come with sidewalk snacks?" she asked as she brushed crumbs off of his shoulder.

"It does not," he said.

"Better stay then," she said. She couldn't help herself.

"Yes. I will stay for the snacks. Why didn't you say something sooner?"

She shrugged.

He put his arm around her and pulled her close. She swung her legs and laid them across his lap.

"This is nice," he said, sighing.

She nodded. He could feel it on his chest.

They sat in a peaceful silence.

Fitz was thinking: I don't want to go.

Olivia was thinking: I can't ask him to stay.

That night, they had slept in their respective beds because Olivia had to be uptown early for work.

This night, the last before Fitz's flight, Olivia and Fitz laid on the couch under a blanket. They had only stuck with the movie for 20 minutes before their clothes were off. It was their last night together, and they had decided to keep it simple and normal. That meant Olivia straddling Fitz on the couch, gripping the top of it while he held onto her hips. It had been slow, and sensual, and except for when they were both overcome with lust, they had looked into each other's eyes the entire time.

Now, they were cuddled under the blanket, their bodies touching everywhere, staring at the ceiling.

"Liv," Fitz said, catching his breath.

"Hmmm," she mumbled, placing a soft kiss on his chest.

"I don't want to leave you," he said, running his hand through her silky hair.

"I don't want you to, either," she said, tracing a circle around his nipple.

"That tickles. I'm being serious," he said, nibbling her ear.

"I'm serious too," she said, placing her thigh in between his legs, and feeling that he was ready again, just as she was.

They ended up in bed. Fitz laughed softly to himself as they snuggled together under the sheets she had helped him select. The same brand that he preferred, soft and cool, but a bright white instead of dark grey.

"What's so funny?" she asked, lacing her fingers through his.

"You are," he said, kissing her nose. "I'm about to pour my heart out and you go Wild Pope on me."

"That sounds like the next the church scandal," she said, giggling.

"You're doing it again! You're deflecting with humor. I think you learned this from me, and I'm sorry."

She propped herself up on her elbow and sighed.

"Anything I have learned from you has changed my life for the better. I can take a compliment now. I can go with the flow. Kind of."

He nodded. "Kind of." He smiled.

"I trust you." She looked at him directly in the eyes when she said this. It was disarming and he didn't know how to respond.

"That's a big deal. Trust doesn't come easy to me. I'm skeptical of everyone. I've allowed myself to be changed for the worse and controlled and taken advantage of. I trust that you wouldn't do that."

"Of course I wouldn't," Fitz said earnestly.

"I know. And I don't think you're escaping from me. I really don't. But tonight, these past few months, they've been wonderful. When I'm alone and I get sad thinking about trying to make this work, I start to go back there."

"Liv, I get it. But I'm not taking advantage of you. I don't want you to be anyone else. I'm not asking for us to stay together so I can go to Hawaii and see if anything else comes along. I'm not. I wouldn't. I couldn't."

This was her exact fear.

"I understand your fear. I do. But here's the thing. I love you. I probably have all along. I definitely do now. I'm an idiot for leaving. I wish I could have trusted how this felt then to know that I would be regretting it now. I'm an idiot. But I have to go."

She opened her mouth to respond, but he continued.

"The house has been opened. I have some much-needed appointments scheduled. I have the holidays with my family. Not going would mess up the lives of a lot of people. I know going messes up your life, and mine, and ours, and I'm an idiot. I just hope that I'm enough. That we can sort this out. It's all I want."

He finally exhaled. She studied him for a heartbeat.

"I love you, too." She smiled. The biggest smile he had seen from her in the three months they had been together.

"Yeah?" he said, feeling himself smiling back.

"Yeah." She nodded.

She brought her forehead down to his. "Fitz Grant, you have surprised me in so many ways. I don't want it to end."

"Neither do I."

They kissed, not at the frantic pace that sometimes swept them away, but slowly. He nibbled on her lip and she lifted her chin to let him do the same to his neck.

"It would be a total movie star move if you gave me a hickey before skipping town," she said.

He laughed and it tickled her neck. "For once, I'm going to act like a movie star."

The next morning, Olivia popped the collar of her white faux fur vest as she waited for Fitz in the kitchen. She was dressed comfortably – for her – in black leggings, and a white shirt and vest. It was early, but she wanted to see him off. He had offered her his place while he was gone. She had passed, but she didn't want their goodbye to be on the street in front of the doorman and the taxi driver. She did have keys just in case she felt like browsing his library or taking a swim. He was keeping the pool maintained while he was gone, mostly for Olivia but also so that someone was checking in regularly. It was what he always did.

What was different about this trip and unlike what he always did was that he lingered. He got ready slowly. He wasn't anxious to get to the airport and on his way. He had purposely woken up early to try and savor the time with Olivia.

"Two months," he said as he met her in the kitchen. She handed him a travel mug of coffee. They had already had a cup together in bed.

"Two months," she said, squaring her shoulders and going for the power, confident pose again.

"I love you," he said, putting his arms around her waist. She put hers around his neck.

"And I love you. I can't wait to see you with long hair and a tan."

"I can't wait to see you, period."

"I'll be here."

They kissed one more time and held each other, standing in the middle of Fitz's kitchen.

"Seriously," he said as he picked up his backpack. "Stay here. Cook here. Swim here. Whatever you want."

Her eyes filled with tears. She had held it together as long as she could.

"Shit," she said, using her sleeve to dab at her cheeks. "This sucks. And it must really suck for me to be saying those two words in the same breath. Say good bye to Eloquent Olivia."

He smiled, albeit sadly.

"It totally sucks."

"So don't go."

There it was. She had finally said what she had been holding in for weeks. It was as if now that he was standing there with a backpack and a travel mug, it was safe to admit that she loved him and wanted him to stay.

His shoulders slumped a little and he rubbed his cheek.

"I don't mean that. Not really. Of course I don't want you to go. But I understand why you are. It's two months. I'm just really going to miss you." There went her dry eyes again. She bit her lip.

"I'll miss you too. Thanks for putting up with my bullshit. While I'm away I'll try to get it together."

"Stop it. Don't go back to being self-deprecating now. I love you and we will do our best to make this work."

He stood back and took a photo of her with his phone. "I love you too."

"I should go," he said, hitching his backpack nervously and sliding his phone into his pocket.

"You should go," she said, getting on her tiptoes to give him a kiss.

They held hands and walked to the door. He kissed her one more time.

"I'll talk to you when I get there."

She nodded.

He couldn't say goodbye. See you later. See you soon. So he just walked to the elevator. She stood in the doorway. The elevator doors opened and he stepped in. She was about to close the door to his apartment when she heard him call her name.

"I forgot to mention," he said, poking his head out of the elevator. "You're going to need new shampoo."

"What do you mean?" she asked incredulously.

"I took both bottles from the bathroom. Figure I can make that last until I can have the real thing again."

She took the three long steps to the elevator and almost knocked him over as she threw her arms around him. He inhaled her freshly washed hair and she kissed behind his ear. They whispered their shared feelings one more time, and then she stood on the other side of the elevator doors as they closed.

"Merry Christmas," Fitz said, just after midnight eastern standard time.

Olivia rolled over in her bed at her parents' apartment and rubbed her eyes. "Merry Christmas, baby," she said. "How's the dinner going?"

Fitz filled her in on the details of the meal he was cooking with his sisters. It was a Grant family tradition.

"How was your dinner?" he asked. Olivia filled him on her Christmas Eve, which had been filled with extended family and friends. The holiday itself was reserved just for her parents. It would be slow and pleasant and relaxed.

"It was nice. Kind of loud. A lot of people asking if I've had any luck finding a suitable man. The usual."

"I hope you said no. I'm completely unsuitable."

"I said I had been dating and had some prospects."

Fitz sighed. "Three weeks and I'll give you some prospects."

"Talk dirty to me," she said, laughing.

They chatted for a while longer and then hung up with promises to talk tomorrow.

Olivia laid in bed for over an hour after their conversation. Both of her parents, who knew she was seeing Fitz, and Abigail who always had an opinion, had repeatedly asked her why she hadn't gone to Hawaii for the holidays. The easy answer, the one she gave, was that when she would have had to book the ticket, she and Fitz had only been together for a few months. Still it had only been four. But when she stopped and thought about it, it occurred to her that one of the perks of dating a movie star – and as much as Fitz tried to deny it, he was a movie star – was that he had financial capabilities that she didn't. She tried incredibly hard not to judge him for not asking her to visit. Maybe he had the same thought she did, that it was too soon in the relationship to spend the holidays together. She was too polite to bring it up. Hey, I miss you, can you buy me a plane ticket to Hawaii? That was not Olivia's style.

She spent the next morning sipping coffee and reading. Her father had a fire in the fireplace and her mom was working on puzzle she had received as a gift.

"Have you spoken to Fitz this morning?" her mother asked, not looking up.

"We talked last night. He called me around dinnertime, his time. It's still pretty early there."

Her mom didn't say anything in response.

"He was roasting a pig in his front yard. It sounds like a big production," Olivia continued.

"Indeed it does."

"What's going on, Mom? Why are you speaking so cryptically?"

"I'm not, sweetie. I'm just inquiring."

Olivia sighed and glanced at her dad. He was watching his wife and daughter over the top of the world atlas he was perusing, also a gift. He gave her a wink.

Olivia didn't have it in her to continue the discussion with her mom. The weeks without Fitz had been tough, but they had managed. She knew her mom was leery of her being in a relationship with someone famous. Someone famous who had seemingly up and left. But she also knew her mom trusted her judgment. Well, she hoped that she did.

A little later, maybe a few minutes, maybe an hour, she felt her cell phone buzz in the pocket of her cashmere lounge sweater. She closed her book, moved her coffee cup to the table and clicked the button to wake up her device.

What she saw confused her. She started at it long enough that her phone fell back asleep and she had to press the button again.

It was a picture of the outside of her parents' apartment building. There was a light dusting of snow on the ground, so she guessed it was recently. The photo was of the doorman, holding four bags of the roasted peanuts you can buy on the sidewalk.

"What in God's name?" she wondered aloud. The text was from Fitz.

She looked at her dad, who was engrossed in his atlas. Her mom kept her head down, looking at the puzzle.

The buzzer that connected the doorman to the apartment buzzed. Everything started moving in slow motion. She got up and went to the front door.

"Yes, Kevin?"

"Merry Christmas, Ms. Pope. May I send up this delivery?"

"Merry Christmas to you as well," she said slowly. "Sure?"

"Thank you, ma'am. Enjoy."

She stood by the door, staring at the buzzer.

"Mom? Dad? Did you guys order something?"

"Not for us, dear," her dad called.

She heard the elevator door open. Footsteps. A soft tap on the door. She looked through the peephole and could only see the peanuts. Her hand shook as she slowly undid both locks on the door. When it opened, her knees went weak and she had to tell herself to stay standing.

Fitz stood there looking as handsome as she had ever seen him. Maybe she was biased because it had been over a month. He was wearing dark jeans with brown leather boots that came up to his ankles. He had on a red sweater with a red and blue plaid shirt underneath, all under an army green winter coat. His hair was longer. He did have a tan. She could not reconcile those details with the fact that unless she was hallucinating, he was in New York. Two feet from her. Holding peanuts. Smiling.

"Hi," he said, eyes sparkling. "Merry Christmas."

"Hi," she said, still questioning if this was real.

Fitz took a bite of a peanut and smiled.

"What is going on?" she asked.

"I'll make you a deal," he said, swallowing his snack. "I'll tell you, right after you come a little closer so I can touch you and kiss you."

"Deal," she said, taking the nuts and putting them on the narrow table in the hallway.

She slowly stepped forward and put on hand on Fitz's chest, and he took the opportunity to grab her wrist and pull her to him. They both stumbled with the force of it and giggled. She put a hand on either side of his face and wrapped his arms around her and lifted her off of her feet. As if she didn't already feel like she was floating. She tipped her head toward him and kissed him.

It made her dizzy. Her head was spinning. They were both smiling through the kiss.

Fitz slowly lowered her to the floor and ran his hands through her hair.

"I missed you."

"I missed you too. What the hell are you doing here? You were just having a pig roast twelve hours ago."

"Right, so that was a lie."

Olivia's eyes widened.

"My family is here. Change of plans. We're celebrating here instead."

"Since when?"

"Since last week."

"Last week."

He nodded. "It was time to come back."

She tilted her a head to the side.

"I did what I needed to do. Now I'd like to spend Christmas with my girlfriend and our families."

This gave her butterflies.

"I'm sorry, I'm still trying to confirm this isn't a dream."

"Not a dream, babe," he said. Their nicknames – baby and babe – had formed over their nightly telephone conversations.

"I missed you so much, and now you're here." She put her hands on her hips. "And you fooled me."

"I did. It was worth it. You look stunning and like every fantasy I've had."

"Now you're full of it," she said laughing.

"Not at all. This is how I love you best."

"I'll keep that in mind the next time we go to the opera."

He leaned down and kissed her cheek. "May I come in?"

"Yes, of course." She turned and he followed, tapping her lightly on her bottom and causing her to squeal. Exactly how she had hoped to introduce her boyfriend to her parents. Sure, she was in her late twenties, but it was still nerve-wracking.

"I'm nervous," she said before they turned the corner into the family room.

"Me too," he said, kissing her again. "I've been nervous for a week."

They liked each other a lot. They loved each other. This was a big deal.