Lovely Rita, Meter Maid
Summary: What if Rita isn't who she says she is? I told myself I wasn't going to write a season 8 story but this idea just popped in my head.
Author's Notes: Thanks for the reviews, favs, and follows – all of you rock. Don't own Castle; just writing to mess with the characters. And this is the last chapter and it might have a sensitive subject in it for some of you. Once again, thanks for reading. It's been a pleasure. And to all, a good night.
Chapter 7 Not a Bed of Roses
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It was early morning, several weeks later, when Beckett woke, not sure what had awoken her, but she knew something was off.
She glanced over at Castle's side of the bed and saw that it was empty, the sheets cool, a situation that was becoming more prevalent since she had returned home.
She then looked at the clock next to their bed and saw the time – 5:30 am. The alarm was set for 6 but she knew that she wouldn't be able to go back to sleep now.
As she drew on her robe, she thought about the last few weeks, frowning slightly.
Things at the precinct were still rocky. Ryan and Espo hadn't entirely forgiven her for their being drug down to 1PP and questioned about what she was doing. They felt like she had shut them out, had violated a special bond that made them a unit.
Gates made unannounced visits, checking on Beckett, and also verifying her whereabouts when she wasn't in the office, so she knew that 1PP was still watching her.
Things at home weren't going any smoother either.
Castle's initial delight at finally having her home had quickly turned to wariness each time her phone rang and she said she had to go to work or had a meeting. Even though he was allowed to come back to the precinct, he rarely did, citing his busy work schedule with his detective agency.
The synchronous dance they had been so good at once upon a time now felt awkward, both tiptoeing around on egg shells, not willing to upset the delicate balance that they were trying to achieve.
It had the same feel as when Castle had come back from being missing those two months, only now the shoe was on the other foot.
It was Castle's turn to trust her, but there was one big difference. They now knew that he hadn't voluntarily left, but she had, and that was the elephant in the room that was waiting to stomp on them at the slightest misstep.
To make matters worse, they hadn't 'connected' since she had been back. Sure, there had been a few hugs and a few caste kisses to her forehead, but Castle hadn't initiated anything more and politely rebuffed her when she tried.
And when he was on his laptop and she walked in unexpectedly, he'd close whatever he was looking at and put the laptop down, stating that he was done.
Now he was leaving for two-day book tour.
She opened the bedroom door and walked out, finding Castle and Martha standing by the kitchen island, talking quietly. A small overnight bag sat on the floor by the door.
She frowned when she didn't smell any coffee brewing. "Morning, Martha," she said to her mother-in-law with a tentative smile.
"Good morning, Katherine," Martha replied, not offering anything else.
Beckett looked back at Castle. "Hey, babe, I thought you didn't have to leave until later?" she asked cautiously.
"It turns out that I have to be there a little earlier than expected," Castle replied. "You had a late evening, so I tried not to wake you. The coffee is set to brew at 5:30."
"You're not having any?" Beckett asked.
Castle shook his head. "No."
"I thought that Alexis was taking you to the airport?" Beckett commented, thoroughly confused as she looked at Martha.
Martha's phone chirped. "That's the car service. I'll be waiting downstairs so you two can talk, kiddo," she said, giving Castle a peck on the cheek and a pat on the arm.
Beckett frowned as Martha walked out of the loft and then looked at Castle, her brow furrowed. "Babe, what's going on?"
Castle nodded slowly, making up his mind. "I'm not going on a book tour," he said. "I'm having a vasectomy this morning."
"A what?" Beckett asked, incredulously. "But why didn't you tell me? Don't I have a say in this?" she demanded, suddenly angry. She had thought that one day they might have children, but now…
"No, you don't," Castle replied simply. He took a breath. "Given the circumstances, I really don't think it's fair to bring a child into the world."
"Circumstances – you mean my job?" Beckett asked. "Rick, I'm a cop – a police officer – and yes, my job can be dangerous at times. So if this is about that, then no, that's not a good enough reason."
"If that's all it was, it would be a no-brainer," Caste replied, shaking his head. "No, it's more than that."
He gave a slight ironic laugh. "It's what drew me to you – your unrelenting desire to get justice no matter the obstacles, no matter the consequences – the fact that you never give up."
"Is this about finding LOCKSAT?" Beckett asked. "Look, I did what I did it to protect you. I promise—"
Castle put up a hand to stop her, his eyes flashing. "No, Kate, don't promise me something that both you and I know that you can't deliver. You lied to my face and then told me no more secrets, and then you lied again."
He paused and nodded. "Bracken was right. We both know that this world is filled with bad people and that you'll always be tilting at windmills no matter the cost."
"No," Beckett said, shaking her head. "You don't know that."
Castle nodded. "Yes, I do. I think you have this deep-seated need to go off by yourself to find justice." He shrugged. "It may have started with your mother's murder because the police failed you at that crucial time. You may have always had it."
He took a deep breath. "It's why you became a police officer – you had to solve her murder and you had to solve it yourself. Only sometimes I think you don't remember that you didn't do it alone. If Montgomery hadn't recorded Bracken, there would have been no evidence linking him to her murder. If Smith didn't have the file, there would have been no evidence linking Bracken. If I hadn't looked into the case, we wouldn't have found the evidence that her murder was not random gang violence."
Beckett shook her head. "I don't see what any of that has to do with this. I had other people with me." She looked at him, fire in her eyes now. "You were with me."
"Yeah," nodded Castle. "When you were on the run from Bracken. But before that, you went at Maddox without proper backup; you went at Bracken without backup; hell, you even went for Amy without backup. Any of those could have gone wrong and gotten you killed."
"So, what do you want, Castle? For me to stop being who I am?" Beckett half-way snarled.
"No," said Castle, shaking his head. "What I want is for you to quit taking unnecessary risks, but I don't think you can." He looked at her with tear-filled eyes. "So I've come to accept the fact that I will lose you to a quest – that you'll go out alone some day and won't come home. And that's the price I have to pay for loving you."
He took a breath and wiped his eyes with his thumb. "So, no, you don't have a say in this, Kate, because I'll be the one who has to explain to our child why they weren't enough for you."
He bent and picked up his bag. "I'll be staying with Mother for the next couple of days." He paused. "I'm not sure if you'll be here when I get back. If not, just let me know where to send your belongings."
Castle walked out the door, leaving it open the same way she had done not 2 months ago, breaking his heart in the process.
Beckett stared at the open door, standing on a precipice. Either way, her life changed. Was it more important to be a crusader, or to be a wife and a mother? Why couldn't she be both?
She nodded to herself – she could; she just had to find a way to manage it, to not go down the rabbit hole. And she knew exactly where to start. She had reacted on gut instinct when Singh called but something better was needed.
"Rick!" she yelled as she rushed out into the hallway, catching him just as he was about to step onto the elevator. "Wait." She ran up to him, catching his hand. "Please, give me just 6 months. And then, if you haven't changed your mind, I'll go with you."
"Beckett," Castle said, shaking his head.
She held up her hand as she pressed a number on her cell phone. "Deputy Chief Gates, this is Captain Beckett. I'm sorry to bother you at this hour, but I knew you'd be up. Is there any way we could meet today? I'd like to discuss putting a protocol in place for handling situations like the one that we just had with the AG office. 2 this afternoon? That would be great. And can I bring Mr. Castle along? Yes, sir, thank you so much."
Beckett smiled at Castle as she hung up the phone. This was a start, a tentative start, but she had to begin somewhere. Next would be a call to Dr. Burke to schedule an appointment.
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Epilogue – 5 years later
Beckett sat on the park bench, reading a book and watching Castle play with their 2-1/2 year old son, Alexander James, on the playground equipment.
It had taken years of counseling to get to this point, to get Castle to change his mind, to prove to him that family was important to her also, that she could avoid going down the rabbit hole.
In those 5 years, Alexis had become a doctor, studying to become a Medical Examiner. Martha was doing extremely well on Broadway, but her favorite role was still that of grandmother.
When AJ was born, Castle handed the reins of his thriving PI business to Ryan, who now didn't have to worry about money for his growing brood because of Castle's generous profit sharing.
Espo had stayed with the force, moving up to become a lieutenant and eyeing a captaincy at another precinct.
She herself was still a captain at the 12th and only had to use the 'Code Black' protocol they had put in place 1 time. This was definitely a global world now and getting smaller every day.
Her stomach growled and she placed a hand on the growing baby bump.
"Hey, guys, it's time to feed your sister," she called to them as she stood up and felt the safety pin holding the waistband of her pants pop. Yep, it was time to start wearing maternity clothes again.
AJ jumped down from the swing his father was pushing him on and raced towards her, stopping just short of colliding into her and threw his arms around her legs. "Wanna hear, mommy," he said, trying to reach her belly.
Castle smiled at her as he walked up and gave her a quick kiss as they walked hand-in-hand.
Castle's spy books had done very well and one was being made into a movie, with options out on the other two. He was now working on a crime novel about a boy who found a body in the woods and then became a detective so that he could track down the killer.
He never wrote another Nikki Heat book, ending the series with Heat and Rook still married and expecting their first child.
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The End
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