Welcome to Chapter 13! Hope all the Americans reading this had a good 4th of July, and all the Canadians a good Canada Day! If you enjoy the story don't forget to leave a like and a review!
I was awoken to the sound of screaming, but not your normal kind of screaming, it was the baby. Everybody else was laying down so I got up to hold them, they were so delicate... That's when Rebecca turned over, staring at me as I held her child. "O-Oh, I hope ya don't mind. I've held babies before, raised them before, if that helps. Here.", I handed the baby back to her. "What's their name?"
"His name is Alvin Jr., AJ for short. Just like his daddy... You've raised a baby before?", Rebecca's expression turned into a smirk. "I never pegged you as the baby daddy type."
"I'm not! I mean I've never even- it was my niece. Her parents were... busy. Y'know?", while we continued talking everybody started to rise from slumber. My body just felt horrible, dried up blood and dirt all over me. "Excuse me.", I walked over to Troy who was just sitting there, I watched as he went to scratch himself with his hand just to be hit with a stump. Shit, this was depressing.
"What're you fuckin' staring at?" Troy was his usual cheery self, honestly I wouldn't be sure how to act if he changed.
"Do you mind makin' a trip with me? I really need to wash this off..." I gave a small laugh, man I looked like shit.
"You fuckin' kidding me? Ugh, fine, be ready in a couple minutes." I gave Troy a pat on the shoulder as a symbol of thanks and went to the side room for a breath of air. Nick was in there, did he sleep here last night?
I sighed, "You alright Nick? I'm sorry for-".
"No more sorry, it gets us nowhere.", his face didn't look that sad, in fact it almost looked content? Maybe this was his slice of silence before the uncertainty of today. I sat down next to him, pulling my knees up to my chest. Just silence, no self depreciating conversation, just blissful silence together. That is until Troy came walking through the doors.
"Get th'fuck up, I ain't wasting all day with you." he grabbed me up, dragging me down the steps. I gave Nick a small wave goodbye just to hear a small scoff from Troy. A good half an hour walk lead us to a stream similar to the one we found before heading to the deck. "I'll go wait up ahead, no longer than 10 minutes, okay?". I nodded, rinsing off my face with the water as Troy walked away.
I already felt better, Ken sure did fuck up my nose good. Washing the dried up blood of my skin, I relaxed a bit, soaking up the serenity of the water.
Suddenly a large arm wrapped itself around my waist, lifting me off the ground slightly. Panicking, I started to flail my legs and opened my mouth to scream, only for it to be covered with a bulky hand. "Hush boy, wouldn't wanna attract none of them lurkers now would we, JJ?", I stopped moving all at once when I heard who it was, my father. "Now tell me son, who did'ya kill?", my eyes widened at this question as the hand was removed from my mouth.
Twisting my body I looked him in the eyes, still being held tight in his firm grip. "How did you know that I-"
"So what was it? A man, woman..." I stayed quiet, trying to keep a emotionless facade that was soon broken when the next option was uttered from his mouth "A kid?". My expression twisted at the thought, "Shit, you killed a kid!? I thought I was the monster here! How old were they? Was it long? Messy? C'mon JJ, I need some details here!" he started to shake me a bit, his excitement was unsettling.
I decided to keep my silence, he didn't deserve the satisfaction of knowing. As if it was fate my picture of Farah fell out of my jacket, it took Joe no time to drop me and pick up the photo. "Who's this lil' flower? You into little girls now JJ? Course not, you like them men now don'tcha? Oh, the things I'd do if I had this kid-"
Before I could process my thoughts I was up off of the ground, punching Joe once in the face. "Don't you fuckin' dare speak of Farah like that! She never deserved what she got and she doesn't deserve you shittin' on her name now!", I pushed him back, which of course barely moved him.
With a grin he knocked me down, pressing his foot on my neck hard enough to make it extremely difficult to breathe. "Farah, eh? Ain't that your niece? Ya kill your niece, JJ?! How 'bout you go pay poor ol' Farah a visit? Tell her how you're just like yer ol' pops-" BANG. His body just fell, as if he was a bag of rocks. Twenty two years of pain just washed down the drain, cleansed from my mind. I took a good minute to look at his lifeless body, it would've been me if Troy hadn't of shown up in time. My throat hurt just thinking about it.
"You're always getting your pansy ass into trouble ain't ya?! Get the fuck up!", I never felt more safe hearing Troy's voice. I slowly got up, kicking Joe's corpse on my way over.
"Let's just go.", I started to walk back to the deck. A weight has been lifted yet I don't feel any better, why is that? Oh, right, because I've learned I'm no better than him. These hands have blood on them, Innocent blood.
"Did you really kill her... your niece?", Troy had a way of snapping me out of my thoughts, not always in a good way.
"I... yes. I shot her, it was dark and I was drunk. I thought she was one of them, I- I...", I felt his hand on my shoulder, "I was her guardian, y'know? I was the one to raise her, not my sister. She'd always run 'round yellin' 'Uncle James look at this! Uncle James can you help me with homework? Goodnight Uncle James, I love you!'" I was cut off by my own tears, holding my mouth shut so I wouldn't sob.
"I wish I had a fuckin' Uncle like that. My parents didn't even want me, foster parents were shitty too. Drunk assholes. ", he scoffed in between sentences. "That guy back there was your dad, right? Man, fuck parents.". That last remark made me chuckle a bit, though the rest of the trip back was silent. Not the same content silence as before though.
Once Troy and I got up onto the deck everybody was staring at us strangely, what was going on?
"Um, James? Ya mind talkin' for a minute with us?", Bonnie was sitting in a corner with Luke, both of their faces seemed worried.
Walking over hesitantly, I could see their faces grow more serious. "I- Is somethin' wrong? Everybody okay?"
Bonnie put her hand on my shoulder, "Are you okay? We heard yellin', then a gun shot... we almost came lookin' for you.".
Luke looked me in the eyes, "Was it Troy? Dammit I knew we shouldn'tve-".
"Hey! It wasn't Troy, okay? He- I just don't wanna talk 'bout it.", I was worried I was going to burst into tears again. That would only raise suspicion. Both of them gave me a nod, letting me walk away from the group. I decided to write in my diary again.
Joe is gone, but what weight should that lift? It just left me with so many thoughts, I'm going to have to tell the group at one point. How will they react? How will Ken react? How will Nick? What has life come to, Farah? I'm almost glad you never had to go through with this world, this life.
That's when I felt a tap on my leg, looking up to see the usual icy blue eyes of his, "Wanna talk 'bout it?". I spaced out for a second, should we talk about it? Nick doesn't even know what it is... no, he deserves to know. I nodded, heading to the side room with him yet again.
"Nick, I... I don't know h-how to tell you other than coming out with i-it." my head started to rush, tears swelling with it "I- I... I killed somebody, a kid.". His eyes widened, before he could speak I continued on "She was my niece, it was the first night shit hit the fan... She, she was in the dark with them walkers and I was drunk and I thought she was one of them.". That's when I had a pair of arms wrapped around me, a sympathetic embrace. "My dad showed up today..." this was going to be a long story to tell.
Avid-8Cancer – Thanks for pointing out those errors, I was in such a rush to post that chapter I completely missed them! Thanks as always!
HumphreytheMan – Thanks so much for putting so much thought into my tiny fanfic! I always love seeing your predictions ^ - ^
Checksname – I try to update as much as I can but time somehow always slips away from me haha, thank you very much!
lllooneytoonbro – Thank you! I know what you mean, I feel like I have a lot in common with Nick too. Kenny's just having a rough time, he'll calm down a bit soon hopefully!
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