Disclaimer: I don't own Zelda

Chapter 2:

I awoke the next day to the sound of my alarm. I had hung out in my room the rest of the previous day, only appearing to grab milk, Fruit Loops, a bowl, and a spoon for dinner.

Yes, I had Fruit Loops for breakfast that day, and I'm having them this day as well.

Seriously, you could live off of Fruit Loops, no lie. I could eat them constantly all day long.

Anyways, so I shut my alarm off and jumped out of bed, grabbing my towel out of the mess on my floor.

Aren't you forgetting someth-

'Nngh. No talky in the morning. Sharrup.'

Fine, your loss.

So into the shower I went, and then followed my daily morning routine. It wasn't until I was halfway through getting dressed when I realized I could have slept in for another three hours.

"FUCK!" Was heard throughout the house. Chain quickly came running in dripping wet, a towel around his waist, and asked me what was wrong.

"I completely forgot I was suspended and could sleep in."

Chain proceeded to stare at me for a second, before bursting out with laughter.

Ahahaha! I tried to tell you fucker! You totally deserve this!

"Oh shutup," I said, pushing him out of my room and into the hallway.

I stopped and stared at the mess that was my room. Maybe it was time I ought to clean it.

What's the point? It's not like you've ever had a girl in here.

'Really? Again with the cheap shots? What did I ever do to you?'

Seventeen years of half-stupid hell.

I sighed and began picking up the pile of clothes that littered my floor. Roughly twenty minutes later, I heard Chain leave the house and speed off down the road. I resumed cleaning, until after five minutes, my parents walked in and said goodbye.

I plugged my iPod into its speakers and started listening to whatever came on. It was set to random so I just cleaned and listened.

Eventually, once my room was mostly clean, I left the house and walked down the street to the small pizza parlor called Kazmi's Za's.

I walked in and the owner greeted me warmly.

"Hey Link! Whatchoo doing out of school eh?"

I grinned at him, "Got suspended, so I get two days off."

"Ah, I don't understand this school system. Kids want nothing but to not go to school, so when you do something wrong they grant you your wish! Anyways have a pizza on the house."

"Thanks Kaz."

After I ordered my pizza and sat down happily munching on the artery clogging goodness, I thought back on what my Mom said.

'You never would have done something like this when you were younger. I didn't raise you to be like this.'

What I said was true, she hadn't raised me at all.

When I was younger my mother worked constantly, she would leave before we got up, and get home after we fell asleep. Many times she had to work weekends as well and I remember once when I was little, I had completely forgotten I had a mother at one point.

I suppose I should tell you about where I live. I live in the city of Hyrule, nothing great compared to New York, or Los Angeles, but enough to be on the map. I've been here all my life, I'm seventeen, and I currently attend Hyrule High.

I know, the name just makes you want to puke just by saying it.

Just as I was about to finish my food, my phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Link? It's your moth- where are you?"

"I'm at Kazmi's."

"What are you doing there?"

"… eating pizza?" Seriously, what else would I be doing in a pizza parlor?

"Well it's not very healthy."

"Anyway, what did you need?"

"I just wanted to let you know I'll be home late tonight. So dinner is up to you boys."

"Alright. I'll let them know."

"Love you son."

"Nnn. Bye."

What? Don't give me that look. I'm a grown man! And grown men just don't go blurting that stuff out! Especially not in public!

I quickly finished my pizza and headed back home, arriving just a few minutes before Chain, who handed me a binder full of papers and then headed into his room. I went into mine and sat down at my desk, flipping through the homework I'd just received. I sighed and tossed it back down onto my desk. It's Wednesday, I really don't feel like doing any of that.

I got up and left my room, walked down the hall and into Chain's room, to find him on the phone.

He motioned for me to get out, and I left, shutting the door behind me. How could my twin get a girlfriend, but I couldn't?

Yes, I'll admit, I am a little lonely. Chain goes through girls pretty fast, and I go through them like I need to have one first to be able to do that.

Yep, good ol' Sexy Link.

Sexy and Single, I might add.

I think that there's a reason for that.

'Reason for what?'

You being si- You know what? Never mind. I refuse to deal with retardation of this level.

'Uh… I don't think retardation is even a word.'

I don't care, you are such a retard I had to invent a new word for it.

'That's… I hate you so much.'

I sighed and reentered my room, swinging the door shut behind me with a nudge from my foot. I flopped down onto my bed, pulling my laptop out and flipping it open. Figured since I'm bored I'd do the one thing that's guaranteed to entertain…

Hey! Don't judge me! I'm a young, hormonal teenager. I have needs dammit!

"Link? Wake up, it's time for dinner."

I groaned and sat up. Holy hell, when did it get dark out? Shit, when did I fall asleep?

Somewhere between the second and thir-

Ooookay noneofthatthankyouverymuch!

I frowned as I sat down at the dinner table, dinner looked unnaturally good.

"Who cooked this?"

I looked at Chain, who hated cooking, but he out of the three of us could make a decent meal, though nothing this extravagant.

My dad, his food could kill. Plain and simple.

Chain shrugged, as did my Dad.

"Ordered out," Dad said.

"It's not delivery, it's Digornio." Chain said, a large grin on his face. Dad chuckled and I laughed. Unnaturally fast, we fell silent and started eating.

'Wait! Are you saying you're there!? When I…?'

Woooow. Delayed reaction much? And yes, I'm here all the time. Can't get rid of me. Or my judging eye.

I… suddenly feel very uncomfortable.

"You there Link?" My Dad asked, waving his hand in front of my face.

I shook my head, "Huh?"

"You feeling alright son?"

"Yeah, sorry. Just a little distracted."

I quickly finished eating and put my plate in the sink. With a sigh I went upstairs and sat at my desk, thinking maybe if I got my homework done early, I'd have the weekend to do what I wanted.

Eventually I got about halfway through, then crawled into bed and fell asleep.

The next day went by rather smoothly. I had no annoying phone calls from my Mom, I slept in, only waking up around noon-ish to shower and then turn on my xbox.

What day was it again?

Oh yeah, it was Thursday. That meant Dad would be at work, and knowing Mom she probably would be working late, so that meant I was free to play however much I wanted.

I watched with a grin on my face as the match timer ran down to zero. After a few seconds, all of the stats rolled down the screen…

"Yeah baby!" I yelled as my name appeared on the top of the list, "Nobody can beat Sexy Link!"

"So that's what you refer to yourself as?"

I jumped in surprise and turned around. Leaning against the back of the couch was Chain, with his girlfriend Midna next to him, an arm wrapped around his shoulders.

Ahahahaha! This is great! This is fucking great!

I blushed furiously and shook my head. I was so embarrassed I couldn't even really fathom anything to say. Without another word, Chain plopped down next to me and turned on his controller. Midna excused herself to the bathroom while Chain and I played. After one match we shut the xbox off and Chain went to spend time with Midna while I went upstairs and retreated to my room.

I retract my previous statement of Chain moving through women quickly. He used to, then he met Midna, and he's been with her for nearly a year.

I pulled my iPod out and plugged my headphones in. I didn't want to disturb Chain and Midna, but I'm not sure if I wanted to hear what was going on either.

Do they fuck? I don't know, maybe, I'm not entirely sure really. Nor do I care much, it's his personal life, whether we're twins or not that's still none of my business.

They probably do. I mean, you never get laid, so inversely, he gets laid a lot.

'…What?'

Seriously, just think about it. He's you, but better in every way. He's probably-

'Shut up. Seriously please shut up.'

I shook my head furiously, disturbed by the image of my naked brother, and trying desperately to not imagine Midna naked.

Why? Because Midna is… hot. She's curvy, and she's got that whole redhead thing going for her.

Aaaand I'm not standing up for a little while. Thank you hormones. You've failed me yet again. After I sat there for a while, trying to think of something other than my brother's naked girlfriend, I realized I hadn't really eaten anything all day. Hoping to god the two were decent, I went and knocked on Chain's door.

"What's up?" I heard him yell from inside the room.

"You guys decent or should I wait another thirty seconds?"

I heard the sound of something hitting the door on the other side.

"Come in, you ass."

I opened the door and found Chain and Midna sitting on his bed, playing games on his laptop.

"What do you want?" He asked, giving me a flat stare. I couldn't help but grin, sex was now on his mind, as well as Midna's.

Hey, imagine this. Your hands on her waist… pushing her against the wa-

Fuckfuckfuckfuck shit fuck shit shit!

I quickly shifted my body as Link Junior sprang to life, trying desperately to avoid letting either of them see the evidence of my dirty thoughts.

'Why would you do that?'

I'm an asshole. It's what I do.

'But she's my brother's girlfriend. That's like… six kinds of wrong.'

Nothing wrong about a man finding a woman attractive.

"Link?" Midna's sweet voice snapped me out of my conversation, I looked at her and practically melted on the spot. She was staring at me with her head cocked to the side, looking like the cutest thing I had ever seen.

"Uh… yeah. I'm here, what's up?"

"What did you want?"

I blinked a couple of times as my brain resurfaced from the sea of Midna, then remembered my initial reason for bothering them.

"Did you guys uh, want to grab some food?"

He shook his head, "Nah, Midna and I are gonna go see a movie, you want to come?"

This time it was my turn to shake my head, "No thanks, I'll let you two be. Besides I'd rather not see you two make-out during the entire thing."

And wishing it was you.

'Shut. Up!'

"Dont worry about dinner for us, I'll take her out."

I nodded, not like I had planned on cooking anyways, I would just order a pizza from Kazmi's.

I flopped on my bed and sighed, wishing that somehow the phone would magically ring and a girl would be on another line asking me out.

I waited, and waited, but still, the telephone was silent as a tomb. I shut off my iPod, and looked around for something to do. I found nothing that jumped out at me, so I got up and searched my shelf of books for something fun to read.

Again, nothing seemed very interesting, and I didn't feel up to playing games or watching tv. Hell nothing seemed fun.

I let out a breath and flopped back on my bed, wishing that something to do would appear.

Well, there's always the obvious.

'No. After what you told me last night? Never again.'

Ha! Yeah we'll see how long that embargo lasts.

I sighed, resisting the urge to punch myself in the temple. It was however interrupted by my phone ringing.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Link it's Chain. You doing anything important?"

"No, why?"

"Midna's got a friend here who feels a little awkward without a date. You want to come?"

My mood perked up, "As in, a date?"

"Could be, you coming or not?"

What the hell, it couldn't hurt, could it?

I hung up the phone and jumped into the shower.

Soon afterwards I heard the sound of Chain pulling up the driveway. I pulled my jacket on and stepped out the front door, swinging it shut behind me.

Chain rolled down his window, in the back seat I could see Midna, and the shape of another person next to her.

"Come on man! We're gonna be late for the movie!"

I jumped down the steps and hurried to the car. I hopped in the passenger's seat and Chain pulled out as I buckled my seat belt. Feeling a little nervous, I turned my head around to see who my 'date' was.

"Uh…"

Great opening line. Chicks must love guys who are incapable of coherent sentences.

This girl was hot! She was wearing a tight, black turtleneck and a pair of jeans that showed off every single curve. She raised an eyebrow at me, waiting for me to continue.

"Uh…"

Wow. That must be some kind of record. Two seconds in and you already blew it.

I took a deep breath, closed my eyes and concentrated.

"Hi."

What? That's it? All that fucking preparation and all I got out was 'hi'!?

"Hey," she said, her voice interrupting my inner tirade. "I'm Zelda."

"Link," I said, and she giggled. I felt my face turn red as I turned around. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Chain roll his eyes.

What the hell was that?

'That was… me chickening out in front of a hot girl.'

I- That's so pathetic I feel bad about insulting you further.

Soon after we pulled up, and we quickly piled out. Chain helped Midna out, and I walked around to help Zelda, however she had already gotten out of the car. I fought to think of something to say, but Chain beat me to it.

"So, Zelda, where are you from?"

"I'm from way out of town. I just moved her recently."

"Oh, so you're going to be going to our school?"

She nodded, and before I could interject into the conversation Midna pulled her over and Chain and I got in line to get our tickets.

"So what do you think man?" He asked me. I glanced over at Midna and Zelda, who were too engrossed in their conversation to notice.

"Well… she's outta my league, that's for sure."

Chain shook his head, "Only if you think so."

"Then what am I supposed to do?"

He grinned, "Just relax man, you get too uptight and nervous around chicks. Just be yourself, you aren't a bad guy."

I blinked, and stared at him. "You just made yourself sound so gay dude."

He stared at me for a moment before dropping his head into his hand, "Fuck dude, do you ever stop joking? Anyway, you know what I mean, just do it."

"Yeah yeah," I nodded and we finished paying for our tickets, got some popcorn and drinks, and then walked into the theater.

Fortunately, there was hardly anybody in there, so that meant…

"Back corner seats!" Chain jumped up the steps, skipping them two at a time until he reached the top. I saw Midna shake her head.

I understood why Chain liked the corner, the only way someone could watch you was if they actually turned around and stared at you, at which point it then became a staring contest, where you would mean-mug the person, and then would stare defiantly back, both of you having a silent conversation that would go something like:

You: Why the hell are you staring at me?

Person: You're making out in the theater and ruining the movie for the rest of us.

You: So? It's a theater. That's what these are designed for.

Person: See these kids here? These are mine. They're trying to watch Happy Feet. Now st-

Wait. Wait wait wait. Happy Feet? Why the fuck did you pick Happy Feet?

'I-I don't know… It just…'

Why would you take a girl to go see Happy Feet?

'I just picked it! I wasn't thinking abo-'

Do me a favor and please, never take a girl on a date.

'Why not?'

"Link?" Zelda asked, interrupting my thoughts.

I focused my eyes back on her, "Yeah?"

"Do you want to sit down?"

I glanced around, this theater was almost completely empty. "Uh… yeah."

"Any idea where?"

"Uh… there?" I pointed to a spot a few rows back from the center.

She nodded and started walking up the steps. I felt my eyes involuntarily drop as I caught the swaying of her hips out of the corner of my eye.

Yes ladies, if you are a girl and you're walking in front of us, we do check out your rears.

Dude! Stop giving away our secrets!

I quickly sat down as we reached the seat, and I set my feet on the back of the chair in front of me.

I relaxed as I watched the movie, though I was finding this to be a serious waste of money.

The movie was supposed to be some form of a horror movie, but all I was seeing were cheesy scenes that were supposed to make you jump but were utterly predictable.

However, Zelda apparently wasn't much of a movie critic, as she jumped often and was constantly wrapping her sweatshirt tightly about herself. It was kind of cute, in a way, and I almost felt like comforting her, but I remembered Chain's words and tried to play it cool.

Not like he was, Chain and Midna weren't even watching the movie. They were relaxing up against the corner with their lips locked. Feeling a pang of envy, I looked away and tried to concentrate on the crappy movie.

Eventually, after an hour and a half of watching Zelda jump, and purposefully trying not to see anything across the theater out of my peripheral, the movie ended and the lights came back on. I stood up with Zelda and we headed out, waiting to meet Chain and Midna.

They came out a minute after us, Midna trying to fix her mussed hair and Chain with a pleased smile on his face.

Midna and Zelda both had to use the restroom, so Chain and I sat on some benches near the entrance.

"Please don't tell me you two fucked in the theater," I said, hoping to god he would say no.

"Wouldn't you like to know," He grinned at me, and I groaned in exasperation.

"No, we didn't," He said, pushing me playfully, I shook my head and glared at him, letting him know I didn't find it as funny as he did.

"I just don't understand how you can get like, thirty girls, and I can't get a single one. WE'RE TWINS!"

Chain laughed and shook his head, "I dunno man, maybe chicks just go for the dark and mysterious type like myself."

I rolled my eyes, "Yeah, and Zelda's going to walk up behind me, drag me into the theater, strip me naked and we'll both have dirty kinky sex. The kind that leaves you so sore the next day you can't even move."

Chain looked at me, "So that's your fantasy?"

I glared at him, "Yes. Fucking in a theater. Always a fantasy of mine."

Just remember, I've seen your porn collection.

'I will find a way to delete you. Somehow.'

Chain was about to say something but the girls had reappeared, so we stood up and walked back out to the car, the girls talking animatedly behind us.

As we got into the car, Chain voiced the question I had been wanting to ask.

"So, what now?"

Zelda shrugged, Midna didn't say anything.

"We could go back to our place."

I felt three pairs of eyes turn on me, and I found that I looked Zelda back in the eye. Though I could feel the heat rising in my face as she looked at me.

What kind of look was that? The look she was giving me made me think she was either appraising me, like a judge does at a dog show, or there was something really unnatural on my face. Either way it made heat rise up in my face and I looked away, at which point Zelda giggled.

Fuck, did I just screw up?

Considering it's you… Yes.

"Sounds like a good idea," Midna, either she really thought it was a good idea or she was just wanting in Chain's pants.

Chain nodded, started the car and pulled out, driving the four of us back home.

As we neared my house, I pulled the keys out of my pocket and unlocked the door. It was nearly seven and my Dad should've been home.

"Hello?" I called out, Dad's car wasn't in the driveway, and neither was Mom's, so they both must be out late.

I walked inside, spinning around and holding the door open for Zelda and Midna. I gestured towards the kitchen which was visible down the hall with one hand.

"Ladies first."

I wasn't being chivalrous, I was actually just doing it in an overly dramatic, joking kind of way.

Of course Chain had to come up and fuck it all up.

"Then why aren't you already in there?"

I glared at him as the girls burst into laughter as they walked down the hall. Chain looked back at me as if daring me to hit him.

"Yuk yuk yuk you're so funny," I said as I swung the door shut. Chain grinned and shook his head. "Ass."

I turned and started to walk up the steps.

"Where are you going?" He asked me, giving me a look that somehow told me to stay.

"I've got other stuff to do. Besides, I doubt she's interested in me. You're the ladies man. You go have a good time with those two."

Chain frowned, "C'mon dude, I was only kidding, come down and hang out with us, I swear you're gonna have a good time. You'll regret it if you don't."

Suddenly Zelda appeared, asking Chain where the bathroom was, then she saw me.

"Hey Link, where are you going?"

I don't believe the next thing I did, as I didn't even try to do it.

"I was just uh, going upstairs to grab something and then I was uh, gonna come back down."

Smooth. Very smooth.

"Oh," Zelda smiled and walked towards the bathroom. Chain grinned at me and as I had now regained control of my face and my mouth, I mouthed the words 'fuck you' and glared, then walked up the steps and into my room.