And due to request, here is:
Avengers Post #87520: That moment when Captain America realizes Black Widow signed him up on a dating website.
Enjoy.
It was Thursday night. Clint and Natasha were eating popcorn and watching Superman.
"I mean really, if you had all that power, wouldn't you want to actually do something cool with it?" Clint said over a mouthful of buttered popcorn.
Natasha sipped a Coke. "Agent Kent."
"Yes. Yes, exactly."
"His weight would crush the air ducts."
"Levitation."
"Point."
They continued to watch, critiquing technique. Style. Bad guys. Special effects.
"Come on, that wouldn't happen in real life!"
Natasha picks up the remote. "We're watching Batman. I can't take this."
"Nat, we're in the middle of a movie—"
"You said yourself it was—"
"But that doesn't mean to stop—"
"Yes, it does, because I'm about to punch something—"
"Well, hello, you could have said so—"
And that's how Captain America found Hawkeye and Black Widow. Sparring in the living room. Two couches overturned and a precariously perched soda on the edge of the coffee table. He picked it up and took a swig before interrupting.
"Natasha, what is this?"
She looked up from where she had Clint's face under her boot.
Immediately, she assessed him. His posture was stiff, one hand slightly clenched at his side, head cocked and jaw set, as if not sure whether to be amused or irritated. The hard look in his eye told her irritated.
An irritated Captain America in front of her could only mean one thing.
Actually it could mean four things that she could list off the top of her head, but judging by the phone he was clutching, it was option #3.
"Now, let's not get all our spandex in a twist here," she said lightly.
Avenger Tower's 45th floor living room had two traditional exits, one exit to the restroom, and five unconventional exits, including air ducts. Natasha mentally routed them all, even considering using Clint as a body shield.
"I think you're doing enough twisting for the both of us," Steve nodded to where Clint was still pinned. She took into account their position and it suddenly struck her that they could pass for playing Twister. A dark, spy version of Twister. Involving combat boots and knives.
"Yeah? Well we can invite you next time. Right now I'm busy whipping Clint's butt, though. You'll have to wait your turn."
She slowly let up the pressure on Clint, as if to say, don't move until I tell you to. His lips formed a smirk in response, following your lead. He just gave a grunt in response for the Captain's sake.
"My inbox is flooded. My phone number is compromised. I can't even check the weather without another notification from someone who wants to hook up with me." Steve was looking very unimpressed.
For his sake, she feigned a solemn and regretful look. Meanwhile, she was tapping in Morse code on Clint's forearm. Boost me air duct.
Finally, she asked the burning question: "And? Anyone cute?"
"Take it down, Natasha."
Clint replied: What about me?
"Well, I just figured you could use a little push."
Does not suspect u.
"Thanks, Romanoff," he replied sarcastically. "But there are better ways."
"Like a blind date? I could get you one of those."
"Natasha," he said in a warning voice. "Please, just take it down. And that profile picture, really?"
"Fine. I'll change the picture."
"No! The whole thing!"
Natasha gave a pouting face. Then, she screwed up her face a little and squinted her eyes, "What's that?"
The moment Steve turned around, Natasha kicked the coffee table at him and Clint gave her a boost up to the air ducts. While Steve was busy yelling up into the metallic crawlspaces, Clint booked it down the hallway and met up with her on the 71st floor ducts.
They stayed there laughing silently and added a new profile picture of Captain America's face photoshopped onto Superman's body, while Steve begged JARVIS to just give him one hint.
Personally, I don't care for Superman, but I would probably watch Agent Kent.
Review, or Hawkeye and Widow might be photoshopping you next.