Before I knew it, the redheaded terror was gone. I didn't try to stop him. I didn't try to make him stay; in fact, I was glad that he left. Everything he did seemed to make me nervous these days, and I wasn't sure how to deal with a rapid heartbeat all the time. Why did he insist on making me so nervous? It wasn't really his fault…. But…. Why?
I continued going to work every single day, but I wasn't focused. Half the time, I was putting eggs on the bottom of people's bags and sweeping the same aisle for hours. The boss would often walk by and gently tap my shoulder, trying to get me to refocus. How did normal people deal with being distracted and lost and everything else? How did my uncle focus during his multiple divorces?
I wish I knew. It didn't get any better, what with my sitting next to Axel almost every period. This sucked. I just rolled my pencils up and down my desk, until I messed up and hit too hard. He would sort of chuckle and return to whatever book he happened to be reading that week.
I'd like to say that I didn't really care, with that page flipping and everything else. But I did. He would awkwardly tell me about it, knowing that I was only half-listening. I was completely paying attention, listening to him telling me about his tales of good versus evil, about the dense forests and endless oceans and deserts… He was precious, the way his eyes lit up with excitement. I had avoided his various "study dates" by being sick or having work, but half the time… I was lying. More than half the time.
He made me feel so strange and awkward, and I didn't want to tell him that. I didn't have the guts to crush him down like that. I just didn't. That would be more than mean… it would be cruel. Why did he have to kiss me that night? I hated him! I liked him. I loved him. I didn't know.
We were running on week three of me avoiding Axel when he came up to me at lunch, offering me half his sandwich because, like normal, I hadn't gotten and brought a lunch. He sat beside me the whole time, not giving me a chance to write anything for the entire hour. He just told me about his book some more before scooting a bit close, making me lean my head away.
"Roxas, listen for a second. The gang and I are throwing a party tomorrow. You wanna come?" he asked. I let my eyes shift over to him before sort of shaking my head no. I didn't want to be around him, not with this pounding heart of mine. "Please?"
"I said no."
"No you didn't. You just shook your head at me. That's not saying no."
"Then no, I don't want to," I tried, fighting him every step of the way. I sort of scowled off into the distance, and I could feel his fingers on my knee, shaking me while whining.
"But Roxas! I'll be all alone! The guys are all bringing their girlfriends," he explained, shaking me harder until I laid my knee flat on the grass. I could feel his eyes burning a hole through my head.
"Then bring your own girlfriend-"
"We both know that's not going to work." This was so dumb! I was not his girlfriend- boyfriend- whatever. I was nothing close that! He had kissed me a few times, and he was there for me (mostly) when I had mental break downs. We weren't dating. I hadn't signed up for this!
I was about to face him, rolling my eyes, but I felt his fingers on my jaw, and before I could push him away, those soft lips that I had just been thinking about were on and I sort of pulled back, tilting my chin so that I could wiggle away.
"Axel- I said no. Please, I really don't want to go to a party, not with your friends, not with anyone." I slowly got up then, trying to put my notebook in my bag. When I looked down at him, it looked like he had given up, and I was just about to walk away when he wrapped his arms around my legs. I screamed as I fell into the grass, my messenger bag landing beside me.
Kicking him off was too hard, and I had to lean down to pry his fingers away- and, of course, that didn't work. He was pulling on me, begging me over and over again to say yes. I continuously said no until he finally crawled up into my lap, his fingers touching my thighs.
"Fine, fine! I'll go! Now- would you please STOP touching me?" I asked, much louder than I really meant to. He stared up at me with a smile, letting go slowly. I looked back at him for a moment, quickly looking away when I noticed that look he got when he wanted to kiss me. No! Why had I agreed?
Now I had to go to a party. Great, perfect. Once his hands were off me, I rested on my elbows, tilting my head back as I cursed. "You're the worst," I said under my breath, and I could hear him chuckling lightly. There was soon a little tapping noise, and when I looked up, Axel was texting on his phone. I sat up fast and stole the phone away, seeing his text to "Xemnas."
He's going! He said yes!
Oh god, what kind of weirdo was he? I threw the phone back at him before getting to my feet. "You better not be expecting anything- at all!" I shouted, and he instantly started nodding, agreeing with me. He was like a puppy! I crouched down before him and punched him as hard as I could in the shoulder, him rolling over and rubbing the punch area. "Again- anything."
I left him in the grass, walking away, but when I turned back, he was lying in the grass, a dumb smile on his face. I rolled my eyes, but I couldn't help but smile and rub my lower lip as I walked away. What an interesting time I'd had with that weirdo.