Operation Avoid Axel, had been working… at first. Teachers were soon calling me back into my classes the more often I stayed out of class. The initial avoidance must have been good enough, because the redhead had stopped talking to me, unless he absolutely needed to, like on an assignment. It made me tense and relaxed all at once, but I still… felt like I needed him.

I needed Axel. He meant more to me than I thought anyone ever could. As the days dragged, he started to ignore me all together, and I had to admit… it stung. I wished I hadn't had any alcohol that night, and I wished that I was brave enough to talk to him about it. But I wasn't, and I had. I couldn't change that.

After a week, I found myself pulling out old things… things I wished I hadn't kept. Razor blades. I sat on the floor of my bathroom, sobbing on top of the bloody mess I had made myself. I had asked for this.

Two weeks slowly turned to three, and I had to bandage my arms and wear sweaters to hide the marred limbs beneath the cloth cover. I was turning into a monster, a monster that only hurt oneself. I forced myself to eat and get up in the morning, and though I found no motivation, I continued doing my everyday schedule.

Shower. School. Homework. Work. Eat. Sleep. Over and over and over and over. It felt as though I was stuck in a haze, that I was stuck in a whirlwind of cutting. A dream- no, a nightmare. A sick, twisted nightmare.

By the time a month passed, I had faded into a shadow, a zombie… a lost cause. I had always been the forgotten once- always!

Passing Axel in the hallway hurt my soul, and I glued my eyes to the floor each and every time. Week six was different. So different. Despite the avoidance, Axel had asked to meet up after school, and it wasn't like I could say no.

Walking up, I pulled my sleeve down, trying to make sure that he wouldn't see that bandaged mess I called an arm. He was leaning against the wall of the bad room, his hair pulled down a bit beneath a black beanie. I didn't say anything at first, sort of just stepping in front of him. The redhead slowly looked up, taking a deep breath, as if preparing for a battle.

I just stared at him for a long while, shifting weight from one foot to the other because of how nervous he made me. But he was soon wiping his hair back beneath his beanie. Every move made me more aware of his presence, and I wanted to run, I wanted to get away. But I stood my ground, letting my eyes slip to the black laces on my boots.

I didn't know what else to do, sort of shifting and looking about because just his gaze made my heart stop in my chest, as if it didn't need to beat anymore; as if his gaze fueled my life like the flow of rushing blood. Axel, some kind of power plant.

"Roxas." Just that gave me chills. I tried to answer, but all I could do was tip my head up and down, just to signal that I'd heard him, at least a little. "Are you okay?" No, I wasn't okay, but I sort of just shrugged, clenching my teeth as I turned my head away from him. I didn't hear anything for a long moment, and I was starting to notice the lack of… touch. Why wasn't he trying to touch me? He usually did.

I looked up then, sort of cocking a brow despite not wanting to look at him. Those piercing green eyes were soon swimming in the ocean's of my own, and I couldn't look away, couldn't make him drown alone.

"Roxas, I'm serious. I've been really worried about you. Siax said-" He bit his lip, looking as if he couldn't choose the right words. I wanted to explode and tell him everything that was wrong, but I didn't dare let the words spill out of my mouth, because I wouldn't be able to stop. I needed to say something though, anything.

"I guess. I don't… really know," I explained, trying to keep my voice from trembling. This was all such a challenge. This guy was seriously the worst that could possibly exist. I wanted to smack him and hold him and kiss him and- everything, all at once. I struggled so much with my reactions to everything he said.

The silence fell around us again, and I just tried to stand my ground. As the clock ticked inside my head, I felt the urge to run more and more. Every second made me want to leave.

"Can we talk about this? Please…? I really wanted to talk to you before, but you wouldn't answer me, at all. All I've done since the party is worry about you, but I just… How does someone constantly think about someone that doesn't care about them?" No! What? It wasn't that I didn't-…

"Axel…"

"I mean really. It's been an entire month without you even sharing a single word with me. If it had really bothered you that much, you should have told me off, or something. But I was holding onto the idea that- maybe… somewhere inside you, you really cared. Was. You don't care about me, Siax was right," he chuckled, looking away from me. I could see the those tears building up in his eyes before looking back at me, a sad smile on his face. "And I had so much faith placed on you. I'm just that kind of person, but all its ever done for me… is hurt, so I'm done. I'm done."

"Axel-"

"No, I'm seriously done." He was gone before I could say anything, his hands in his pockets as I watched his back. He faded away into the water in my eyes, drowning, like I hoped he wouldn't.