Chapter 3

Three weeks had passed and Marian was only growing weaker. Every morning she'd wake up and be crushed that a perky elvhen ear wasn't by her nose from Fenris having cuddled her in the night. That one time feeling that had been enough. She was curious about elvhen ears ever since, everytime Merrill came over she'd study the ears, touch them even to try to understand. Today Marian was just too curious.

She stole a book from Merrill on the anatomy of elves and as it turns out the ears were controlled subconsciously by feelings and comfort levels. Like a hounds tail. The higher the ears the more happy, the more excited and the more safe the elf felt. The lower the ears the more frightened the elf was, the more upset or angry. She even read that it was a form of the highest love. The ears moved uncontrollably, which meant the elf's couldn't fake their feelings, if there ears were up it was because they were wholeheartedly in a spell of love. A happiness they couldn't even fathom into words, but their bodies could place it on display for predators and mates to see the truth. That way when elves were forced to marry they could be paired with the best possible match. All could see the love for the other, and see it wasn't a forced attraction,making the ears a gateway to happier clans.

" He loves me. " Hawke holds the book to her heart and just soaks the knowledge in. Maybe Fenris hadn't told her, but his body had, and that was enough for the moment.

Merrill walks into the room at this point and is totally unaware of who Hawke is talking about. She does not notice the book as Merrill is not one to notice much. She does notice the words coming out of Hawke's gorgeous lips. " Anders does, Isabela told me after she spoke to him about you. Apparently you are a good conversation piece when her private ship is being examined for damage. "

Hawke dropped the book and her jaw at Merrill's words. She was shell shocked for five, silent, seconds. " Anders told Isabela that he loves me? While he was touching her intimately? "

" He must really love you Hawke, to get distracted by you while he's touching such a beautiful woman."

" Stop, Merrill. Please. " Hawke gets up and hands Merrill the book on elves so she knows she was not talking about Anders and then Hawke grabs her coat and leaves to find a certain lit lantern.

She barges into the Clinic and yells at him from the start. " What the Hell, Anders?"

The blonde parts his lips the instant he sees her, and drops everything. Luckily it was early in the day, he didn't have any patients in yet. He fumbled around his desk to her. She never visited him, he always had to come to her. And that was fair because he didn't want her always down in Darktown, it was too ugly a place for someone as beautiful as her. " Hawke, I-I wasn't expecting you." He trips on a chair's leg and almost falls to the floor, but he catches himself on the table. His efforts are pointless though as she comes at him and pushes him down onto a chair.

" I repeat, what the Hell Anders?!"

" You're so pretty when you're angry. But, don't hurt me, at least not before you tell me what I've done." She was beautiful this way. Every way. Even anger could not dampen her beauty. The flaring nostrils, wild hair from having stormed down from Maker knows where to yell at him, the red cheeks from extra blood flow, the dagger eyes pinning him to his seat. He couldn't look away. He wondered how Fenris had ever managed to leave her after seeing her naked. If he was given the same chance as the elf he wouldn't leave. Even Justice had a thing for her and what she did to protect the mages. Anders's hands were twitching as they struggled to keep to the chair's arm and off her body.

" That. That right there. You called me pretty. And what is this I hear about you loving me? Anders! That should have been something you told me first!"

" Hawke, I didn't think I'd ever get the chance to. I couldn't tell you with Fenris in the room, he'd kill me, and he's always in the room with you. And I wasn't about to tell you the night I walked you home, because damn Sebastian was waiting at your door for you. "

" So Sebastian is just a friend. " Hawke was slowly cooling down.

" No, Hawke, no one is just a friend with you, besides Varric and Aveline. And they are only just your friends because they are still hooked on others. If there wasn't Bianca or Donnic in the way, they'd love you the way I do. You know this. Even Aveline has kissed you once. "

" I don't believe you. I mean yes you are right, but Sebastian isn't the same, he is hooked on Andraste, she is way more powerful then me, I probably don't even catch his eye. "

" Believe what you want, but that prince wants a princess, and when he goes back to Starkhaven he'll be a king and he'll need someone to rule beside him. What better queen then you Hawke? You are beautiful, he trusts you, you protected his name blindly, and you are famous for good things. A champion, he can bring you home to his people with pride, they will accept you with a warm welcome. You could protect unlike most women who will be lined up as suitors if you don't choose him. "

" Stop it. Anders. That'd never happen, he's so loyal to the chantry, he doesn't want to return home. The chantry would have to explode, and Elthina would have to die for him to give up Andraste. I'm not worried. "

" Anything could happen Hawke." Anders was looking to the floor as he said this, somewhat ashamed to make eye contact. " Look I'm just trying to say that so many people love you, I couldn't tell you directly Hawke, because I knew you wouldn't say it back to me and that'd hurt, so I told Isabela, knowing she was a gossip and that she'd get it around to you, so at least you'll know my love, even if you never acknowledge it. "

" You assume I wouldn't so quickly. You do not have any faith in me. "

Anders got out of the chair with a very stern face he came at her and his hands went to her cheeks, as his body pressed into hers. "Marian Hawke, all my faith is with you. "

"Then why wasn't I told?"Hawke averted her eyes from him as she felt a hardness press into her. If he got any closer she'd have to back him up off her. She loved Fenris. She was only here for her pride and her curiosity.

"Hawke I -"

Fenris was lurking in Hawke's bedroom. He had snuck in through the window, like he always did, to surprise Marian and excite her. This time he had come for his reading lesson though, if it excited her that was just a side benefit. Fenris hoped he could still excite her even when he was gone at night, and she was forced to be alone. He hoped he was the only one on her mind. When he arrived though and she wasn't there in her bed, he had a small panic attack.

He got scared for her way too often. He needed to remember she was a strong woman, a fighter, nothing could've happened to her, it was likely she was in the bath, or downstairs talking to Orana. These possibilities calmed Fenris down enough to go and walk around her room casually.

He knew he was welcome to be free in this room, he knew because he had done so much to her in this room, in so many places. He sometimes wondered why he tortured himself and insisted on having the reading lessons here and not in her library. He supposed it was the freedom he felt in her room, or the charm. Or maybe he just liked that whenever they were both in the room together, he could see her mind wander and remember the night. He could always see her blush grow when his eyes cast to the bed. Or her eyes widen when he leaned on a bedpost, in the same way he had that night. She had ordered him to watch as she took off her robe and nightgown. He had leaned on the bedpost because he had lost his footing when he saw her bare back and then…

Fenris gripped the bedpost now as the memory came back to him and hit him like a whirlwind. Her body had been perfect, even her freckles and birth marks.

Fenris went to sit on a seat.

The same seat by the fireplace that he had begged of her to sit on that night after she stripped. He wanted to give her so much, so he had. Fenris had kissed her down to her core, and when the arms of the chair were scratched to shreds from her eagerness to climax, he sucked on her until she finished in his mouth.

He looked down at the arms now. She had to care for him to not have had the wood shaved down. She kept the scratch marks clear for all to see along with a few stains and that made him smile. It also made his heart ache. Fenris was regretting his decision to leave her again. He screamed into a pillow that was on the chair beside him. He was so frustrated with himself. But, he just couldn't return until Danarius was dead. He could not be her everything when he couldn't even completely be himself with the slaver alive. He just had to have patience. He kept that in mind as he waited for her to return from wherever she was.

He'd wait a lifetime.