Yes. Yes I do. I want you to leave Downton."

He stared at her, then bowed his head.

"As you wish."

...

Anthony went upstairs to pack. It didn't take him long. What took the time was the unhappiness as his eyes fell on reminders. Her nightgown. The double bed. The photo of them together, seen through tears.

He didn't want to have to face saying goodbye to Cora and the family but his sense of etiquette demanded it.

"I'm sorry but I have to leave. I just wanted to thank you for your hospitality and for all your kindness."

"Leave? But why?" Cora exclaimed.

"It's just...Edith and I...I mean..." He stuttered to a halt as his eyes clouded and his head slumped to his chest, shoulders shaking. Earning his eternal gratitude Cora put her arms around him and made soothing noises. Between sobs he told Cora what had happened.

"It seems to me" she said "that you two need to talk when you've both calmed down."

"Perhaps, but not today" he responded.

"Do you still really want to go back to Locksley?"

"I gave her my word that I would."

"If you're sure, then I'll take you home" she said and after a quiet word with Barrow, they left.

...

Edith took Isis out to the old folly at the bottom of the lawns. There she wet the dog's fur with her tears, hating herself. Despite what Anna had taught her, turmoil turned to panic as she realised what she had done. She wanted to run back to the house, find him, and beg his forgiveness. If she did that she half expected him to tell her that he couldn't cope with the mess she was and he was leaving anyway, and it was that that stopped her. It was only when Isis began to whimper her desire to go back inside, seeing as she wasn't getting a proper walk, that Edith built up enough courage to return, meeting her mother in the hallway coming in from the car.

"Edith, my darling. It's okay, I've seen him." Cora was not going to make Edith explain her side of the story, she was obviously too upset for that. Giving her daughter a hug, she felt, for the second time that morning, grief take its hold on someone in her arms.

"I've ruined everything, Mama."

"I doubt that very much. But he is hurting. He knows what PTSD does to people, but when it comes to you, all his logic goes out the window. He doesn't know what to do to help you best, and he's terrified that you really want to split up with him because he reminds you of all you've been through."

"Of course I don't want to split up. I mean, yes he reminds me of what we endured, but the point is we endured it together, and he did most of the enduring! He did it all for me! And I threw it back in his face! I love him so much, Mama! Where is he? I want to apologise, make it all right again, if he'll let me."

"Of course he will let you, my baby. I've taken him back to Locksley. Give him some space and when you're both calmer..."

It was like Cora had plugged Edith into the mains. She began shaking uncontrollably, and her tears started again with twice as much force as before.

"Oh God, no! No! What have I done?! I have to speak to him."

"Edith? What's wrong?"

"I know what he will do if he thinks we've separated again. When we were in London an old colleague of his offered to get him into MI5 or MI6. Just like after our failed wedding, he will get himself sent on the most dangerous assignment he can find and he'll...he'll try to get himself killed!"

Cora tried to reassure Edith that this situation wasn't as catastrophic as it had been years before, but a voice at the back of her mind told her that Edith could be right. She began to worry. She called Barrow to stay with Edith while she made a telephone call, but she couldn't get through. It was engaged. She tried several times then called Mrs Bates instead.

...

Anthony sat in his library, contemplating the mess that was his life. At some points he was able to believe that Edith just needed a little time, a little space. Other moments convinced him that he had ruined Edith's life. During one of those moments he thought of Dennison's offer, but it seemed too ridiculous that an elite unit would want to recruit a crippled old codger like him. Now, his infirmity would put other agents in danger. No, he'd tried that way out before and it had led to him being shot. He needed to face the fact that the best way of dealing with the pain was the hardest. He dialled Anna Bates' number, and arranged to see her as soon as he could get over to her.

...

Anna knew what she was doing. Anthony had come into her office calm and contained like the officer and gentleman he was. But within twenty minutes he had broken down, the loss of Edith too much for him to bear. Halfway through the session the doorbell had rung.

"I'm so sorry, Anthony. I know who this is and I'm afraid I can't put them off. Excuse me, please, for just a minute or two."

"Of course, of course" Anthony assured her, secretly glad of the interruption and the chance to try to pull himself together again. It took an effort, and still he failed, the tears refusing to stop. Hurting though he was, talking to Anna did help. Her voice soothed him, and her words reminded him of the techniques she'd taught him before to bring his shattered emotions under control.

Anna returned, leaving the door half open.

"Now, where were we?"

"How I am going to cope if Edith...if Edi..." Anthony's feelings ambushed him again and he couldn't finish.

"What did you do last time?"

"Spent all my time reading, maintaining the house, visiting you and my physio, and resisting the urge to finish what the insurgents had begun."

"By that you mean...?"

"Putting a bullet in my head."

"Which you resisted successfully."

"Thanks to you."

Anna smiled.

"Thank you, but you did all the work resisting. So, what's to prevent you doing all that again, and more, this time?"

"I've been reminded of everything I have lost. She's everything to me, Anna. Without her, my life feels hollow, a half life full of ghosts. She gave me back my life in the last week or two. The truth is I needed her far more than she needed me. She's a marvellous young lady with her life still ahead of her. She doesn't need me at all."

Anna let him weep for a moment.

"I don't think that's true, Anthony."

"Look at me! One working arm, and nearly twice her age. And her? If she can be persuaded to continue her journalism in safety, she has a Pulitzer waiting for her somewhere down the line! She doesn't need an old codger like me."

"Perhaps she feels as you do, she may think she doesn't deserve you. You are a highly decorated officer..."

"...were..."

"...are a highly decorated man, a baronet with a beautiful house and a considerable fortune. She has what she earns and what her father allows her, and a lifetime of trying to live up to her parents' expectations and Lady Mary's example. You made her feel cherished and valued in a way she had never known before."

"Do you really think so?" asked Anthony.

"Yes" Anna replied with certainty.

"How can you be sure?"

"Because I told her" Edith said.

She stood in the doorway, her tears obvious. Anna left the room to them, putting her arm on Edith's as she went out, and shut the door.

"I've been set up" said Anthony.

"With the best of intentions."

"You heard all my bleeding heart confessions?"

"There is no shame in needing a bit of help especially bearing in mind what you have been through."

"There a difference between believing that intellectually and...and the woman you love hearing it in the raw. I feel rather exposed, vulnerable in fact."

"I'm just as vulnerable. Anna was right when she said I needed you."

"Elsie Carson told me the same thing, but...I don't see how it can be true." He turned to her, eager to be clear.

"Don't get me wrong, I want it to be true, in a way...I don't want you to feel beholden, or weak. I want you to want me...but I fear it isn't true and you are prevented from saying so by...I don't know, gratitude or something."

"I am very grateful to you, Anthony, for lots of things, for saving my life, for believing in me. I didn't mean to hurt you this morning, but it all got too much...thinking that you didn't want me...that you wanted to leave me...again."

The world twisted back into place for Anthony.

"You were afraid that I would jilt you, and I was afraid you didn't really want me. Is that right?"

Edith nodded.

"Oh, sweetheart. I promise you I will never, never walk away from you again, not even if you tell me to. If you ever want to get rid of me, you will have to do the walking. That is...if you do want me?"

Edith moaned through her tears, "Yes, of course I want you! I need you, you dear idiot. I love you."

Anthony got up and walked to her despite his watery eyes, declaring "I love you too, my dearest darling, so very much."

Edith stepped towards him, meeting him in the closest, tightest embrace.

"I'm sorry."

"Hush, my love. You've been through so much. I understand."

"Anthony."

She petted at his hair and cheek, needing to feel him, wanting to be sure of him. He pecked kisses at her ears and forehead, before looking seriously into her eyes, pulling her even closer to him, and pressing his lips to hers.

…

Outside the office, Anna and Cora noticed that conversation inside had stopped. They listened for a few moments more, then smiled at each other.

"Would you like a coffee while you wait, Lady Grantham?"

"That would be wonderful, thank you Mrs Bates."

...

Please accept my apologies for the delay in updating. I hope this reunion compensates in small part. The wedding will be next!