A/N - thanks so much for the reviews. You guys are awesome!

All the conversations around the room stopped abruptly and every pair of eyes turned expectantly to where Chandler stood in front of Pete's chair. All the attention was on him.

He swallowed, feeling himself start to sweat and suddenly started wondering whether this was such a good idea. He glanced at Monica and saw her grateful expression shining up at him and he nodded. Whether it was a stupid idea or not he'd dug his hole and wouldn't let her down.

"H-hi everyone," he started, taking a breath, "I don't really have anything prepared, but since we're short on speeches tonight, I thought I'd give it a try." He shrugged a little, suddenly very uncomfortable. He really should have thought this through or at least spent a minute planning what he was going to say. "I guess I should start by introducing myself. For those of you who don't know me, my name is Chandler Bing. I've been a good friend of Monica's for about eight years now," he paused, the word 'friend' didn't sound nearly enough to describe their relationship but that's all he was. Her friend. Ignoring his internal musings he tried to focus on the task at hand.

There was no avoiding it, he'd have to mention Pete; people would expect it. He was the groom.

The groom.

He swallowed, having to force the next words out of his mouth, trying to keep the fake smile on his face despite the bile in his mouth, "and I'm happy to say that after getting to know Pete this last year, I am sure..." shiesh this was hard to get out, painful, "that he and I will become as close as Monica and I have as well." They wouldn't. He didn't want that; it was another lie. He risked a glance down at her, and it pleased him that she was smiling up at him in shock. He loved her smile.

Down towards the other end of the table, Joey watched carefully as Monica's face said exactly what she was thinking, even though she tried desperately to hide it. She was smiling because of Chandler's speech, but there was something in her eyes that was nothing but doubt and uncertainty...hopefully about her impending marriage.

Chandler looked around the room at the sea of faces again, trying to come up with something to say. Anything. A joke? He cleared his throat to make his pause seem reasonable, "at first, it may not seem obvious how these two became a couple. After all, Monica is a chef, and Pete deals with computer stuff. And you can't really cook computer stuff, I don't think anyway."

The crowd chuckled politely and gave him enough time to take a much needed sip of water, "But as it so often happens, opposites attract, and I think these two quickly realized how well they," he stopped again, looking for the right word, dismissing all the negative ones that first came to mind, "...complete each other." God it hurt. "So here we are, a year later, sitting down to this lovely dinner provided by Pete and his parents, and tomorrow we'll all be at the wedding," he suddenly felt sick to his stomach, unable to finish the previous sentence. He wanted it to end, as he was done with falsely praising Pete and Monica's relationship.

He looked at her again, taking inspiration from her beautiful smile. "Monica is one of the most amazing women I know," he swallowed, smiling at her, "she's determined, strong-willed, passionate...but also has this incredibly caring side and would do anything to help anyone," he paused knowing he was entering dangerous ground, "And I think we can all agree she's looking beautiful tonight," people clapped in approval and he found the slight blush that came to her cheeks totally endearing.

He let his gaze stay on her for another moment before looking out at the crowd...at the wedding guests. The guests of Monica and Pete's wedding. Pete. He was the one that had her heart. He was the one that could call her beautiful...not him. He swallowed hard as the reality started to crash back down around him and his heart started to break. "And Pete," he desperately tried to continue, despite the pain in his chest, "is one lucky son of a...gun," he had to end this, had to end it now, "so, uh, let's raise our glasses and wish Pete and Monica every happiness and a...long life together, forever," his voice cracked and he took a large mouthful of his own drink.

His audience clapped, and he flopped down in the chair behind him. Deflated and defeated. Pete's mother leaned over, "Thank you for that lovely speech!" She said, patting his cheek.

Chandler gritted his teeth, he hated everything about it. Everything about this.

Talking about Pete and Monica together as a couple, wishing them happiness? He wanted to stand up and scream that he was lying about the whole thing. That none of it was true. Just like seeing Monica in the lingerie, giving that little speech was pure torture.

Monica put her hand on his arm, leaning over to thank Chandler when she noticed a familiar figure.

"Hey!" Pete said from behind Chandler, leaning pass him to kiss Monica. Chandler turned his face away unable to look at them so close. "I'm so sorry I'm late, babe."

"Oh it's…" Monica started.

Pete turned back to Chandler reaching for his hand, shaking it firmly and effectively cutting her off, "I heard your speech, thanks buddy." He said, clapping his shoulder before turning back to Monica, pulling her up from her seat and kissing her deeply.

Chandler slammed his eyes shut, unable to take anymore. He stood up quickly, head down, muttering something, he left them to it. He quickly walked passed everyone at the tables, ignoring Joey and Phoebe, who both called his name.

Monica pulled back from Pete, looking around him immediately for Chandler, "I'm so sorry I'm late," Pete said again, cupping her face with both of his hands, "I tried to get out, I really did, but we're trying to sell this software to Microsoft and they're being a pain in the butt about it."

She swallowed, looking up at him, waiting for that instant reassurance to come. It didn't. "It's okay," she lied, "I uh…"

"Mom and Dad, hey." Pete said, stepping away from her to speak to his parents. She crossed her arms, looking around for Chandler again, her stomach flipping when she didn't see him anywhere. He was her anchor and she needed him more than ever.

Joey left his chair at the table, walking around and looking for his apparently invisible friend. He opened the men's room door, looking around in there before calling his name, "Chandler?"

He stood in the hallway outside the rehearsal hall, his hands on his hips, looking back and forth. He walked the rest of the way down the hall, checking every door that would open easily, and he was still nowhere to be found.

His last resort was to try outside, and he breathed out a sigh of relief when he saw him across the street, sitting on a bench there. The night air was a little chillier than he'd expected, so he pulled his suit jacket a little tighter around him.

He looked both ways, crossing the street and sitting down next to his friend. Chandler had his hands tangled in his hair, his elbows propped on his knees, staring at the ground. "Joey, I don't want to talk about this."

He looked at the side of Chandler's face, his tie loosened around his neck. He was surprised to find him still staring at the ground and not looking at him, "how did you know it was me?"

He still didn't look, "please, please leave me alone. I'm fine."

"You're sitting out here by yourself in the cold. You're not fine."

Chandler finally snapped his head up to look at him, with every intention to let him have all the pent up aggression that had built inside of him, but he couldn't do it. He'd figured out what he needed to do to fix this problem of his, and yelling at Joey so loud that the birds would hear wasn't it.

He ran a hand through his hair, "Tomorrow after the wedding, I'm going to sit down with Monica."

Joey looked at him, his mouth hanging open slightly, "Chandler…"

"Wait," he stopped him, "let me get this out, please. It's hard enough." Joey nodded, not saying anything else, "I'm going to explain to her that I need to take a step back. I need to not be around her all the time like I am now. I need to be okay with just seeing her on special occasions or casually in Central Perk," he sighed, "I need to be okay with just being a neighbor…and when she moves to live with Pete…a friend of a neighbor."

"You can't do that," Joey replied, "Monica is your best friend. You can't just scratch her out of your life like that. That will kill you, both of you."

"No," he shook his head violently, "what kills me, Joey, is to see him hold her hand, have to watch him hug and kiss her. Thinking about the two of them is driving me insane. Seeing it is driving me nutso. I can't take it anymore. That hour that I just spent with her without him there is the best hour we've had together in months. I hate that." Joey swallowed, unsure of what to say, "I can't be Uncle Chandler to their kids like she wants me to be. I just can't do that."

"So you're just cutting her out? Just like that?"

"I have to," he said, "it's the only solution. I need to get my sanity back. I need the space away from her to get over her and get over what could have been."

"So you're telling me that in ten years time, when we're all gathering around for Thanksgiving, you might come or you might not? Because you're just that friend that Monica sends an invite to every year? That's what you're going to be?"

"Yes." Chandler stated, his voice serious, "I have to, Joey. This is too hard for me. Even talking about not being around her everyday is killing me inside. But in order for her to be happy, I need to step back. She loves Pete, great, and she wants to be with Pete, wonderful, but what about me?" He rubbed a hand over his face, "I can't do it. I thought I'd get over it but I'm kidding myself. I'm too sucked into this whole damn situation."

"Can I do anything to help?" Joey asked unsure, he hated how much his friend was hurting. He knew Chandler wouldn't be able to just shut Monica out like that, no matter how hard he tried, but if that's what his friend needed to believe to get him through tonight and tomorrow then he'd let him.

He just prayed it wouldn't come to that.

Chandler shook his head sadly, "nothing right now. Just go back inside."

"You're not coming?" he frowned.

He shook his head again, looking up to briefly meet his friend's worried eyes, "I just need a bit of time," he swallowed, "I'll be back in soon."

Joey studied him a moment longer before reluctantly agreeing. He patted his shoulder in silent support as he left, to head back in the direction of the hall.

Chandler watched him go before squeezing his eyes shut. A bit of time? Yeah right, he needed a lot more than that. He leant forwards, his elbows on his knees, resting his head in his hands. If he thought this was bad how the hell was he gonna survive tomorrow? Maybe he should cut her out of his life tonight by just leaving? Disappearing for the weekend, not having to face her or the wedding or anyone. Then, when he came out of hiding she'd be so mad she wouldn't want anything to do with him anyhow, so problem solved...yeah right.

His hands turned into shaking fists. He hated this. Hated this so damn much, almost as much as he hated himself.

Why had he had to fall in love with her?

It wasn't fair, none of this was fair.

He was supposed to be her best friend, be there for her through everything and yet he was seriously considering abandoning her on the biggest day of her life. Running away and leaving her. She didn't deserve this; it wasn't her fault he was so weak.

She didn't deserve to lose her best friend but if she knew his inner thoughts would she even want him to be her best friend anymore? He sincerely doubted it. Once the mask fell and his true feelings were revealed she'd want nothing to do with him.

He would hurt her. Even if he didn't mean to, he was going to hurt her and it was all his fault.

He felt like scum.

Monica sat anxiously in her seat as Pete was giving his speech around her. All her hopes had been pinned on seeing him again, that his presence would reassure her and calm her. But it didn't. That in itself made her even more panicked. Her stomach felt uneasy as her insides twisted with indecision.

Was she seriously considering not going through with this? She could feel her heartbeat speed up, like her heart was going to burst from her chest as her breath quickened.

She wasn't listening to Pete's speech anymore, she couldn't, her mind was so confused. However, words like 'forever' and 'life' penetrated through her fog and taunted her. Wide-eyed she looked at the people around the table, but couldn't focus on anyone. She felt trapped. She couldn't be here any longer.

Rachel was watching her closely, very concerned for her friend.

"I think she's in trouble," Rachel whispered desperately to Phoebe, who nodded worriedly debating what they could do.

Suddenly Monica sprang up hurriedly from her seat, muttering an apology as she felt everyone looking at her. Oh god, oh god. She practically ran from the room, into the empty corridor and froze. Tears in her eyes as she brought a hand to cover her face.

"Monica?" Thank god it was Rachel and Phoebe on the other side as they guided her. She didn't know where but she gratefully followed.

"Monica?" Pete. She couldn't deal with him right now. She couldn't see him like this.

Rachel was still walking her away and she heard Phoebe behind her.

"Let us talk to her," Phoebe said it quietly but Monica could still hear her, "go back and finish your speech and reassure everyone ok? We've got her."

Pete wasn't sure, he was worried and confused but reluctantly nodded and headed back leaving his fiancé with her friends.

"Come on," Rachel guided her into a small empty room as Phoebe closed the door.

"What do I do?" Monica asked fearfully, "What do I do? I thought I'd see him and everything would be ok but it isn't! If I marry him it's for life. I need to be sure, really sure and I don't have long to decide. What do I do?"

"It's gonna be ok," Phoebe promised, offering her a napkin to wipe her tears. "Listen to your heart."

Still concerned over his friend, Joey made it back onto his table, not even noticing the absence of any of the girls.

"Where have you been?" Ross asked annoyed.

"Just with Chandler," he shrugged, before looking around and noticing the empty spaces. "Where is everyone?"

"Looking after Monica," Ross confessed, uneasy. "I think something's going on. She ran out of here during Pete's speech and Rach and Phoebe ran after her...it's like they knew she was gonna run. And Pete's not exactly looking happy," his head nodded over to the thoughtful looking groom.

Joey frowned. Was this Monica pulling out? Getting doubts?

"I've gotta go," he insisted, jumping out of his seat and leaving a bemused Ross behind him.

He looked around for any signs of the girls but couldn't see them. He needed to know what was going on. Needed to know anything that might help heal his broken friend. He was about to give up and head back out to Chandler when Phoebe came bursting out of a side-door.

"Phoebe!" He called, "thank god, what's going on?"

"Monica's having second thoughts," she said quietly so the people the other side of the door couldn't hear her. "I'm on tissue duty," she gestured towards the bathroom. "I've gotta get back in there."

"She's definitely having doubts?" Joey asked, screwing up his face worriedly, "you're 100% sure." He was very conscious that the happiness of both his friends rested on his shoulders. He didn't want to let anyone down.

Phoebe nodded, studying him.

"I've gotta talk to Chandler," he said, turning to head towards the exit, but Phoebe's voice startled him.

"He's in love with her, isn't he?"

Joey swallowed hard, turning back to look at her over his shoulder. Their eyes met and he sadly nodded, "it's killing him," he whispered, turning back fully and stepping towards her. "I have to tell him, Phoebe, he needs to talk to her and she deserves to know...right?"

He looked so worried, so unsure that Phoebe nodded, pulling him in for a quick hug, "go talk to him," she assured him. "It might be what they both need."

Joey nodded extremely grateful for the reassurance, "thanks Pheebs."

Looking determined, he headed purposely back outside to find his friend.

He just prayed it was all going to turn out ok. It had to.

TBC...

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