Joey carefully sat down next to his roommate who hadn't moved since he left him there earlier.

"Back so soon?" Chandler asked him, his head still hanging low.

He sighed, contemplating his friend, not knowing one bit on how to start this conversation. "Yeah...you have me worried, sitting out here all by yourself," he started distractedly, his mind still on Monica, "I think you should come back in."

"No thanks."

Joey sighed again, Chandler wasn't making this easy, "Look, you should come back because she-"

"I'm a big boy, Joey." Chandler finally made eye contact with him, "I appreciate your concern, really, but I'm gonna be fine."

Joey shook his head, "I don't think you are but that's not-."

"Way to throw a rock at me while I'm down."

He resisted rolling his eyes at his roommate; Joey knew better than anyone how much he used humor as a defense mechanism. He took a couple of deep breaths trying to work out how to approach this.

"Chandler, she really needs you right now…"

"No she doesn't, Pete's here now," he swallowed his pain, "he's the one she needs. She doesn't need me anymore," he closed his eyes briefly, pictures of Pete greeting Monica, that kiss; he sighed, pinching his nose. God, he wished he had a cigarette. "I'm thinking of maybe disappearing for a bit, skipping the wedding and-"

"There may not be a wedding."

Chandler froze, his frown deepening as he slowly processed his roommate's words, "What?"

"Nothing is definite, yet," Joey told him quickly wincing, "which is why I didn't say anything earlier…but Monica's having doubts."

They sat in silence as Chandler digested his words and what they meant, "Everyone gets cold feet before their wedding day," he eventually shrugged, "it doesn't mean anything…doesn't change anything."

"It's more than cold feet and disappearing right now, cutting her out of your life is insane, whatever happens. Look she's got serious doubts and she deserves to know the truth. Tell her."

"Tell her what?" Chandler asked still wary. His heart was still too vulnerable to start filling it with hope. It was better to believe she was gonna marry Pete and leave it as that.

Joey looked into his friend's blue eyes so that he'd know he was serious, "Tell her how you feel about her."

Chandler sat back, "I can't do that," he replied, shaking his head, "there's a good chance she's getting married in less than 24 hours. I can't tell her anything. Like you told me, it's too late, I need to forget her."

Joey turned to him even more, grabbing both of his shoulders and gripping them tightly, "I know that I said you shouldn't, but I was wrong before. She needs to know. Now!"

"No!" Again, Chandler shook his head fiercely, pushing Joey's hands off him, "I can't do that to her. If she's got doubts then she's already confused and stressed with the biggest decision of her life to make hanging over her. She doesn't need me bounding in there and dumping my crap on her."

"But-"

"And even if I did," he jumped up, starting to pace in front of the bench, "even if I thought it was my last chance and I selfishly go for it, what if it blows up in my face? What then? If I pour my heart out to her and she doesn't feel the same? I'll have messed her up even more and I'd never forgive myself. She'd want nothing to do with me. I'd be crushed."

"At least you might be able to start getting over her. I think part of your problem is that you don't know how she feels about you," he resisted pointing out he already looked pretty crushed.

"No," Chandler shook his head firmly, a shaking hand scrubbing through his already abused hair. "I know how she feels about me; she sees me as a friend. If she decides not to marry Pete she going to need her friends around her, not lusting after her and making her uncomfortable. And if she wants to marry Pete then I've got no right to try and interfere with that. She won't appreciate it and my heart won't appreciate it either," he paused, deflating as turned his face to stare at the rehearsal hall. "I won't be that guy, Joe, the guy that tries to take advantage of his best friend when she's at her most vulnerable."

Joey's concerned gaze stayed settled on his friend. The pain in his voice was thick and he hated this whole situation. Hated that he couldn't force Chandler to show his hand. He had to accept that couldn't force him to do anything.

He just had to pray that Monica would make the right decision for all of them.

Rachel and Phoebe sat beside Monica, Rachel rubbing her back and Phoebe holding both of her hands, "Monica it's going to be okay. Whatever you decide."

Monica tried to take a deep breath, "I just don't-"

Phoebe looked at the side of her face, "do you love him?"

She picked her eyes up from the floor to look into Phoebe's eyes, not able to put her feelings about Pete right now into words, "I-" she stopped, "I need..."

She needed her best friend. She needed to talk to him, tell him how hard this was for her. He'd been the one to help her when she was debating breaking up with Pete all those months ago. He was the one that just seemed to know her, sometimes more than she knew herself. Especially now.

She squeezed Phoebe's hand, "I love you guys but I need-" she sighed, brushing a tear off of her face, "I just need a minute, please."

Rachel looked at Phoebe, both knowing well and good that Chandler was what she needed now.

"Okay," Rachel said quietly, stepping away from her. Phoebe dropped her hands and followed Rachel out of the room. She turned to Phoebe, "is this progress or a problem?" she whispered, "because I don't think she's going to go through with this."

Phoebe nodded, "well, if it's a problem then we've got two."

Rachel's eyes grew big as they walked down a hall, "oh god, what now?"

The pair stopped in the middle of the hall, "let's just say that Pete isn't the only one that is in love with Monica."

Rachel's eyes grew big again as understanding suddenly dawned on her, "Chandler?" she guessed.

Phoebe pressed her lips together, "I didn't say anything."

Rachel brought her hand up to her mouth, "and Monica doesn't know?"

She shook her head, "no."

"Oh my..." Phoebe nodded at her, "why hasn't he told her?"

"I don't know," Phoebe admitted, though she had her suspicions.

Rachel stepped forward again, "well she needs him now. Regardless of how he feels, she needs him to get a grip and be her friend."

"You go get Chandler, I'm going to go cover and tell Pete she needs a while longer to herself."

Rachel nodded, "okay good." She started to walk then paused, "where are they?"

"Outside somewhere," Phoebe gestured vaguely at the doors.

"Right," she walked towards the said double doors, opening them and stepping out into the crisp air, spotting them instantly, "hey," she called to them, causing both of them to look at her, "Chandler, will you go see if Monica is okay, please?"

Chandler's tone was alarmed as he frowned, "is she ok?"

Rachel put her hands up, "yeah, she just needs your ear...and your shoulder."

Chandler nodded, glancing over at Joey uncertainly. His roommate nodded in support, silently trying to communicate with him that he should just go for it. He swallowed, faltering, still unsure. He didn't feel strong enough to see her right now, but if she needed him he was going to be there for her; he had to be.

"Where is she?" he asked.

"I'll show you," Rachel said softly crossing the street and not looking back, she knew he'd be following.

They walked in silence. She was still processing tonight's events and revelations. He was trying to work out what to say to Monica.

When they reached the door Rachel came to a stop. She offered him a brief smile of support before turning and leaving. Chandler frowned after her for a moment...had that been pity in her eyes?

Now wasn't the time, he told himself. It didn't matter about the others and what they did or didn't know. Now was for Monica and he had to prove himself to be the bigger man. That he could put her happiness in front of her own.

He swallowed, his hand hovering over the door knob. He could do this. He had to do this. Monica needed him and god only knew how much he needed Monica.

Taking a deep breath he pushed the door open and quietly stepped in. Monica looked up, surprised but grateful to see him. He closed the door and stood there awkwardly a moment, trying to find the words.

"Hey," she finally offered an opening, she knew she looked a complete mess. All that time spent on hair and makeup earlier wasted.

"Hey," he said back somewhat lamely, looking around the small room. "You ok?" He winced even more, berating himself and his attempts to comfort her. What a dumb opening line. Of course she wasn't ok. It was her rehearsal dinner, the night before her wedding and she was in here with him crying.

"I don't know," she admitted, scrunching up the tissue in her hand, "it's all so complicated."

Chandler swallowed, her comments confirming his earlier thoughts and he felt guilty that he'd even contemplated telling her. She looked like the world was already on her small shoulders and she certainly didn't need him to add to it. He couldn't believe he'd contemplated bailing on her, disappearing and leaving her; how could he have even considered that? With a sigh, he pushed down his feelings of guilt and took a few steps towards her. Perching on the edge of the neighboring chair.

"What's going on?" he finally asked softly. Desperate to get inside her mind.

"I don't know," she admitted, more tears coming to her eyes.

He grimaced, a hand coming to rest on her knee, trying to offer her some tactile comfort. He hated seeing her cry, it broke his heart that little bit more. He could cope with his own pain but couldn't bear to see her hurting as well.

"I…" she took a deep breath, before wiping furiously at her eyes. She hated showing weakness. Hated this whole situation, "I don't know what happened. A few days ago I couldn't wait to get married but then…"

"What?" he prompted gently.

"Some things got said and I started to think things over and...now I have doubts, big doubts."

"Oh." He knew he sounded stupid but he had nothing else to offer. He was floored by hearing her actually confirm Joey's statement. To say the words out loud.

"And the more I thought about it the more I got scared and unsure if I should be doing this. I tried to push it to the side, tried to tell myself it would be alright and I just had to see Pete again and everything would be alright."

"And it isn't?" he guessed.

She shook her head looking down trying to compose herself.

"What do I do Chandler?" she asked fearfully, "I've got a room full of people expecting me to get married. I've got a fiancé expecting me to get married. I've got a perfect future all lined up and I just don't know what to do," He swallowed as her blue eyes met his, glistening with tears. "Tell me what to do."

He studied her eyes, wishing desperately that he could take away her pain. Wishing desperately that he could tell her to forget all about Pete and to give him a chance. That he would do everything in his power to ensure she never looked so upset and distraught again. That he would love and cherish her like she deserved. That he was the man she should be with; the man that loved her with every fiber of his being. But he couldn't.

"I can't tell you that," he said quietly, pushing down his longing, "you've gotta do what feels right," he insisted. "You don't have to get married just because you don't want to let people down. Do…" he swallowed down the lump in his lump, "...do you...love him?"

He cringed awaiting her answer.

"I don't know," she confessed, needing another tissue.

Chandler sensed this and stood up, reaching for the small box. When he turned she was behind him and automatically he pulled her into a fierce hug. She came willingly, clinging to him as he comforted her.

"That's all you have to decide, Mon," he soothed quietly in her ear, "if you love him or not. If you do," his voice cracked with pain and he forced himself to muster up some inner strength from deep within him, "if you do then nothing else should matter...and if you don't," again he had to swallow, hating how much this was killing him, "if you don't then you've gotta tell him and finish this. You can't marry him if you don't love him...it wouldn't be fair...for either of you."

He felt her nod against his chest, her tears soaking through the front of his shirt as he continued to hold her, cherishing the feeling of her in his arms. His hands stroked her hair, her back, anywhere he could reach to try and comfort and soothe her pain.

Eventually she pulled away slightly, just enough to raise her head. She met his eyes, their faces so close together.

"When did you get so smart?" she asked quietly, her eyes still filled with tears.

"I've been taking some extra credits," he smiled softly but turned serious again quickly, "I mean it Mon, don't settle ok? Don't do this unless you really want to. You deserve the absolute best. You deserve to be loved and treasured and," his voice broke but he continued, knowing this might be the only chance he got to express this to her, "you deserve to be with a man that acts as if you're his whole world and that makes you the happiest you've ever been in your life."

He cupped her cheek, his thumbs brushing away her fresh tears. He hurt so badly for her, for both of them.

"You're worth so much, Monica," he whispered, "you've got to believe that."

He pressed his forehead to hers, his hands still on his cheeks as he closed his eyes trying to get a grip on his emotions. She was so close to him, still pressed against him, her breath against his face. Her head tilted up towards him, her shining eyes studying him. He felt himself getting drawn in by those eyes.

He knew he shouldn't. He knew it was wrong, so wrong but he was slowly getting pulled towards her, he couldn't fight it. He didn't want to fight it. His mind was screaming at him to back up, to break away because he couldn't do this, but he was unable to stop himself.

He was weak and he wanted this so damn much.

He closed his eyes and pressed his lips to hers.

TBC…

Ok, so we have a bit of an evil streak but please don't hate us too much. We promise we'll post the next part up very soon.

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