Cry Me a River

By: granger2malfoy

Disclaimer: Not Mine.

A/N: My muses are slowly coming back to me and this has a few more chapters.

Part 4 – Numb

I'm tired of being what you want me to be

Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface

I don't know what you're expecting of me

Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes

Draco walked down the hallway of his family manor, which was completely empty minus the few house elves, busying themselves with the clean up after dinner. He slowed his walk as he came across the family portrait with his father and mother stood behind him. The ministry still looked for his father but he was out of the country till everything settled down for a few more years. He had left all the family business for Draco to run with strict orders on how they were to be ran. Too bad he lost that note.

Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow

Every step that I take is another mistake to you

Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow

The sound of the Floo from his room caught his attention and a smirk crept over his lips as realized Hermione just couldn't stay away. It had been just a couple days since both of their relationship crashed down around him. They would not be caught up in the flames but rise about the pain, the press, and everything else as things worked out.

The sight of the Hermione with drying tears stains down her cheeks about broke his heart as she walked over to him and fiercely kissed him. As she began to unbutton his vest, Draco pulled back and stopped her hands with a gentle kiss on the tops of each knuckle. He spoke against her skin, "Let me run you a bath with tons of candles and chocolates with some soft music to relax you."

'I don't want romance or sweet nothings. I haven't slept since that night. I am numb inside. Do you have any idea how that feels?" she stood there with no show of emotions on her face, which chilled him to the bone.

I've become so numb, I can't feel you there

Become so tired, so much more aware

Draco froze at her words. Oh yes, he knew a lot about being numb inside. Years of bearing that feeling of emptiness during those years of the war left their mark on his soul. The pressure of being a Malfoy and trying to save his family as well as himself stole part of his adolescent. Some many times he wished he had just listened to what Snape had been trying to tell him. "Yes, I do."

Flashes of images shot like lightning through his brain. Pictures of people in pain, his mother sobbing when he told her of Voldemort's plan of him killing Dumbledore, and the final night of the battle when he just had to run. With cold eyes equal to her, he spoke, "Then what do you want of me?"

By becoming this all I want to do

Is be more like me and be less like you

Hermione's face faltered with a momentary show of sympathy as she gently touched his face and raised her other hand, which held a black ribbon. "I need to feel something. Yes, you create some kind of fire within me, but I need this."

Can't you see that you're smothering me?

Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control

He took ribbon and a smirk appeared on his lips as he remembered that ribbon. The first time they had made love after she had ran into him at a tavern, the night Ron had dumped her for some foolish girl who fit his ideal of a perfect girlfriend who could become someone just like his mother. Draco had gone through a phase of starting to grow out his hair with this very ribbon. She had pulled that ribbon out of his hair as his body hovered over hers moving in and out to let his shoulder length hair frame their faces as they kissed passionately.

The smile on his face started to fade as he felt dampness on the ribbon, not the water of tears. His eyes then noticed the nail marks in her own hand where she had drawn her own blood with the ribbon in her hand. "Do you know what you are asking of me?

'Cause everything that you thought I would be

Has fallen apart right in front of you

"Don't know, don't care. Just make me feel something; anything has to be better than this!" her voice began to rise to a frantic tone.

Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow

Every step that I take is another mistake to you

He grabbed her wrists hard and pushed her against the bookshelf. A peak to into what she was truly asking of him. Maybe it would scare her. He pinned her writs above her as he moved one leg in between hers and bit down on her ear and moved his head back to look into her eyes. "Are you sure this is what you want?"

"No, not what I want," she whimpered and leaned forward to bit his lip hard enough to draw blood, "It is want I need," bit his lip.

Put his forehead against hers, sighed out a shuddering breath. Being raised as he had, Draco knew who to give out the kind of pain she craved. He had it done to him till he realized he prefer to give that kind of pain. He could not turn this wonderful witch away to go asking this of someone else. He could trust no one else to give her what she begged for; though he barely trusted himself to do it. "At any point you want me to stop, just say it"

"Don't stop. Take the numbness away. Please Draco, please!"

Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow

And every second I waste is more than I can take!

With one hand he kept her pinned as one hand traced her collar bone back and then pulled her hair, she moaned out loud as he bit and licked down her neck. With some wordless magic, he tied her hands with that blood stained black ribbon as his fingers dug into her arms and moved down but looked yet once more for some hesitation in her eyes but all he saw was desire, need as he ripped open her shirt with button flying across the room without a care. Silently he gave one last silent prayer that he was doing the right thing as he gave into the need as well.

And I know I may end up failing too

But I know you were just like me with someone disappointed in you

~*~*~*~ to be continued*~*~*~*~