"This is completely stupid."
"Oh shut up, you look so cute."
"I look like a fucking idiot!"
"Robin!" Slade warned sharply, making the boy's shoulders slump.
"I just don't see why I can't just sneak in at night a take the stupid documents." Robin scowled.
"Because that old hag hid them somewhere and for once in his life Slade doesn't know where they are." Red replied easily.
"I don't understand why it's such a big deal. Can't you just hack into the computers and get whatever documents you need?" Robin huffed.
"Miss Claudine is a very old-fashioned woman and a very smart one as well. She wouldn't trust a machine to do a man's job." Slade answered.
Robin squirmed uncomfortably and let out a yelp as a pin stuck him in the leg. "Ouch! Red!"
"Hey, maybe if you stopped moving, we wouldn't have this problem." Red scolded lightly as he sewed up the hem of the dress.
After a few quiet weeks of training and little burglaries, Slade had presented Robin with his next big assignment: infiltrating a private boarding school for girls. Robin immediately laughed, thinking it was a joke. He stopped laughing when Slade presented him with a navy uniform and some Mary Janes. Slade hadn't given him the complete story as to why he was sneaking into the school, but he knew it had something to do with a… "disagreement" between Slade and this Miss Claudine character. Now he stood in front of a mirror while Red fixed the hem of his pleated skirt to cover up his padded backside completely without it being too tight.
"How long will I have to stay there?" Robin inquired as he stared at his own pouty reflection in the mirror.
"A month at most." Slade replied as he sorted out papers on the bed.
Hearing that, Robin whirled around, causing Red to lose his spot. "A month?" He cried with wide eyes.
"I hardly doubt that it will take so long. You'll probably find it within a week or two." Slade consoled him. "It'll be simple."
"Totally." Red grinned as he located his stitching once more. "You'll get to pretend to be someone you're not, wear a skirt without being judged, and have sleepovers with your roommates."
"What? What roommates?" The hero asked through gritted teeth. Why did it seem that those two always left out vital pieces of information?
"Each dorm contains space for four girls. There are two bunk beds in each room with open walkways that lead to the next bedroom and so on." Slade cut in.
"So you're saying I have no privacy whatsoever?" Robins snapped. "Do you have Alzheimer's or something?"
"Relax, the whole diaper thing is taken care of." Red shrugged. "Don't even worry about it."
Hearing that, Robin allowed himself to exhale loudly and returned to staring at himself in the mirror.
"We just told the staff that you have a bedwetting problem." Red added.
"What?"
As he followed Red through the polished halls of Miss Claudine's institution, Robin's shoes click-clacked loudly. Every few steps he would tug on the back of his skirt self-consciously to ensure that his pull-up was still concealed. He kept his jacket on despite the warmth of the building. It hung loosely on his small frame, giving his backside a bit more coverage for which he was thankful for. There was a tie secured expertly around his neck and for the first time in his life, he was actually grateful for all of those times Bruce forced him to attend charity balls and press conferences. Red had straightened his hair a bit to get it as long as possible before clipping a navy blue bow in it, as if the skirt wasn't already convincing enough. On his face was small dab of blush, some pale pink lip gloss, and a thin layer of light brown eyeliner to make his eyes pop more than the mascara already did.
"Now remember, your name is Robin Welsche. You're incredibly shy and prefer that your older brother (that's me) do all of the talking." Red whispered as they approached the headmistress's office.
"Oh yeah, like that'll be hard to remember." Robin rolled his eyes.
"And speak a little higher." Red added before opening the door and pushing Robin inside.
"Mister…Welsche?" Miss Claudine greeted them as they took a seat in her office. Robin smoothed out his skirt and took a seat, sighing in relief at the minimal crinkling that resulted from the action. As instructed, he folded his hands in his lap and stared nervously at his feet.
"Yes." Red nodded, dressed nicely in gray business casual attire and black loafers. His hair had been neatly gelled back and a Rolex glittered on his wrist.
"And you are Miss Welsche's brother?" Miss Claudine questioned.
"Yes. Oh, I have all of her papers and transcripts right here." Red added, rising out of his seat so that he could reach far enough to hand her the files which she promptly opened and began to read.
Robin and Red exchanged glances as they sat in silence while Miss Claudine examined each and every paper to the best of her ability. Slade said that all of the documents would appear completely authentic, but he'd also said that the woman was very smart. There were only two ways this day could go.
"I must say your math skills are very impressive, Miss Welsche." The older woman commented. "And it is rare to find a young lady fluent in not only Romani, but French and Spanish as well."
Robin forced himself to blush shyly, picturing that night in his bedroom with Red in his head. "Thank you, ma'am." He peeped softly, his eyes flickering anxiously to her and then back down at his lap. He could feel Red staring at him and bit back a smug smirk. Betcha didn't know I was an excellent actor.
"Yes, well I'm sure the rest of the teachers and faculty will be very pleased as well." The headmistress commented. "Now I better give you your schedule for this semester."
"Um, could she also get a map of the school, perhaps? Robin has a tendency to lose her way easily." Red smiled warmly.
"Yes, of course." The woman nodded and gave her requests to the secretary.
"The dormitories are down the hall, up the stairs and to the left." She added.
"Does Robin get a dorm key?" Red questioned.
"No, they aren't necessary. All of the rooms are open to each other." Miss Claudine replied. "Security cameras have been installed to discourage any monkey business."
Robin's ear perked at that. Slade was wrong. This woman wasn't that smart if she was just giving away her security plans on a silver platter.
"Smart idea." Red spoke up, flashing yet another charming smile. He glanced down at his watch. "I must be heading out soon…have an important meeting with the head of my firm."
"You practice law?" Miss Claudine asked, sounding slightly impressed.
"And medicine." Red nodded and for a second, Robin wanted to gag. "I couldn't live my life knowing that I wouldn't have the knowledge and skills to care for my baby sister someday."
Robin rolled his eyes. Seriously Red? This was important business and yet he insisted on being his normal doofus self. "Remus?" He asked almost distastefully. Again, leave it to Red to turn a mission like this into a joke by stealing the name of a Harry Potter character.
"Yes, sister dear?" Red answered, getting way too far into his role.
"I am feeling a bit tired, perhaps we can go to the dormitories now?" Robin asked in a light, raspy voice. He was going to cut Red off before he screwed up the entire plan.
"Oh of course, darling." Red nodded, turning to the older woman. "You must excuse my sister. She has recently recovered from illness that has left her fragile self even weaker."
Robin's fists clenched for a moment. Fragile?
"But of course. My secretary has all of your papers printed out. Stop by her desk on your way out and do have a good day." Miss Claudine nodded.
Once they had gotten a few halls away from the headmistress's office, Robin really dug into him. "What the hell was that?" He hissed, his eyes darting around for any cameras. It was probably smart to stay in character at all times while in or near the building.
"What'd I do wrong?" Red pouted.
"I'm not as fragile as many may assume." Robin sighed in a feathery voice.
"What?" Red asked.
"I simply wish you would put more faith in me, brother. You mustn't always watch out for me." He emphasized, his eyes moving from a camera in the corner to Red and back again. A look of recognition finally crossed the man's face and he nodded.
"You know I worry about you. Now why don't you find the dorms while I get your luggage?"