CHAPTER THREE
The Ceremony
The bride and groom were as different as oil and water. The bride's amazing fire-hair and the groom's raven-black one, her rosy freckled skin and his immaculate complexion (getting paler by the hour...), her red veils, his golden armor... And the fact that they barely spoke, avoided touching and looking at each other. The rather long and complicated ceremony became dreary with the total absence of any kind of emotion from the "happy" couple. Odin and Frigga were worried. Thor felt seriously uneasy, feeling that his brother had been somewhat "swindled". No one knew how to break the ice in the room.
They were in the Main temple. Loki had left his helmet and Sigyn her hair ornaments. They were kneeling on velvety cushions, their hands in their lap, before all the High Priests and Priestesses. While the ceremony was going on, Loki felt his knees killing him but not as much as his heart which seemed turned into aching lead. He was confused by her astonishing beauty (much more than he hoped. Maybe a little too much...) and even more by her attitude. What was he doing wrong? Was she repelled by him? He understood this was very hard for her but it was not exactly a party for him. It was so unfair. SHE was unfair.
Loki was more intrigued than angry though because he had noticed something that no one except him, apparently, had seen.
When King Sodarn gave him the Princess's hand, brother and sister exchanged a last look.
A look of sheer, pure, mutual hatred.
"Rot in Hel." The Princess's eyes seemed to scream. The first emotion her face betrayed.
"See you there first" Responded the King's spiteful glare.
No love lost there, visibly.
It gave Loki hope as he had a better picture of what was really going on. The Princess had been forced into this by her brothers and probably in a very violent way. She abhorred her own blood (they were not very loveable, anyway…). She now saw Loki as the next enemy. Once this dreadful day was over and they would be on their own, Loki would explain Sigyn she had nothing to fear from him. The Asgardian tradition concerning newlyweds (especially royals) demanded that the bride and groom remained secluded in their chambers after the wedding day. No one was to witness what was going on with the new couple. They were attended to but left alone to get along with their new life until, after a duration of their choosing, they felt ready to confront the outside world. Everyone would then act as if they were married for years.
Loki promised himself that he would use this privacy to show Sigyn that she could count on his loyalty and affection if not yet his love (it was ridiculously too soon to proclaim that) and that they could make it work. Now, there were on their knees, spied by a whole crowd and he was incapable of making any sign to reassure her.
Holding hands with Sigyn (hers was very cold), he managed to say his vows with a steady voice. When Sigyn's turn came he felt her faltering, with a subtle trembling on her fingers, he could almost smell her fear and anguish but she said hers with a firm tone. Loki dared to hope that the soft pressure he put on her palm gave her strength. This farce was turning into a torture.
And the worst for Loki was the horrible murmur of a tiny voice in the recess of his mind, a tiny, raw, bitter voice that was following him since infancy.
"She is mad because you're not the one she wants."
"She is disappointed not to be married to the Mighty Thor."
"She is humiliated because she is stuck with second best."
"She loathes you. She loves Thor in secret."
Etc. Etc. Etc.
Sometimes it went on and on in endless circles of jealousy, self-hatred and misery that just made him want to scream. His relationship with his too brilliant brother was a source of anguish and conflict only because of that. But for once, he managed to shush it down for a good reason. Another thing he seemed to be the only one to have seen it.
Thor tried to talk to the bride, just to appear friendly, only to be responded with the same cold politeness she offered everyone. Loki perceived Thor's irritation (Thor wasn't used to such indifference) with an undeniable pleasure.
No, she was not interested in Thor... Unless she was a good actress.
The terrible ceremony was over.
They were married for good. No turning back.
There was a parade on golden chariots throughout the city back to the palace and Loki felt his lips starting to hurt by faking stupid smiles and waving to the cheering crowd. In a way, he was glad because the applause, the praises, the flowers thrown and the cheers were for him and his new wife and not for Thor. That was a little childish but he really couldn't help it.
Once they were back, the feast began and the protocol was less restricting. The eating and the dancing were only the beginning. It started in the evening and lasted until the newlyweds retired. Loki knew what would happen once Sigyn and him would be out. A drunken orgy. A wedding feast would be considered dull if there was not tremendous amounts of wine spent and if debauchery didn't ensue for days. It was meant to create a carefree atmosphere in order to help the new couple surmounting their first marital difficulties. Pity, Sigyn and him were the only one not to participate. Things could be made easier in a messy crowd of faceless bodies and endless embraces. Or maybe not. Anyway, Loki had no say in this matter and he could view his brother and his companions starting to lit the fire amongst both male and female attendants' eyes.
They all have been at it for a couple of hours when he noticed that Sigyn had left and was not coming back. A long moment passed and Loki was getting worried. Was she lost? Was she trying to leave? Had someone …? Loki excused himself from the table and ran down the hall, trying not to look panicky.
Fortunately, Sigyn had her new suit of Asgardian maids to replace her Fire maidens. They told him she was in the bridal quarters. Foreign princes and princesses married into Asgard couldn't keep their homeland servants. Their were quickly replaced by Asgardian ones to accelerate the process of integration. Loki knew that it was another motive of distress for his bride, losing her only friends, since she didn't seem to care at all about her damn brothers. The Fire Princess had told them to leave her alone in a strict manner. They wouldn't dare to cross Odin's new daughter-in-law. Here was Sigyn, probably exhausted and down spirited, on her own in the chambers, alone for the first time in probably weeks and no one she knew or even trusted to watch over her. Loki started to fear the worst.
"My dear?" Loki called out without being answered. He didn't even know what was appropriate to call her? "Princess"? "Wife"? "Sigyn"? "Hey, you"? How did you call someone you barely met and was tied to for the rest of your life without having had any kind of proper talk with her? Loki gritted his teeth, annoyed at the absurdity of the whole situation. And the damn quarters were huge for only two people and a few servants. She wasn't in the hall, nor in the salon, nor in the other chamber… Then he saw some of her crimson veils lying abandoned on the threshold of the bridal bedroom. Loki's heart went faster. Was it an invitation? Was it a way to show him she wanted to get on with the more physical part of their relationship? Loki forced himself to think with his brain, not with his private parts (even if it was their first stirring for months...). He pushed the door.
And he almost screamed out of anger and fright when he saw what was really going on.
Luckily he bit his fist and forced himself to remain in control. Not to yell, not to shout, not to rush, not to anything…
Sigyn was in her scarlet undergarments, sitting on the bed, holding a knife Loki had no idea she was hiding, her head down on a basin of hot water next to her where she was dipping her wrists so the blood in her veins could flow more easily after cutting them.
She was trying to kill herself in their own bedroom.
"Please, don't." Loki didn't recognized his own voice. It was horribly weak from the shock. He had to make a tremendous effort not to run at his wife, snatch the knife and basin and slap her as his coiling anger was ordering him to.
Sigyn made a terrible jump and he saw her distraught and terrified face.
She had cried and all her bridal paintings and make up were a mess. Her mouth was smeared with rouge and her golden eyes had lost their cold glow to shine with horror at being discovered by her husband. Her complicated hairdo was totally undone apparently by being ripped off. She wasn't a hieratic statue anymore and she looked like what she really was, a young girl about to jump a cliff in desperation.
She got up from the bed and immediately threatened Loki with the knife. Great, he thought, our first argument and we are already throwing weapons. She looked near insane with panic. Loki coming here was not part of her plan.
"I will do it." her voice was horribly hoarse from crying. And Loki knew she was deadly serious. He needed to think to avoid a total disaster and fast.
"Please, please, just hear me out..." His arms extended towards her, he didn't try to make a move. She could plunge the knife into her chest or his if she thought he was trying to grab her.
"I said I will do it!" She tried to step aside to run away but Loki mirrored her moves, staying at a safe distance. "I know you will, but please, it don't have to end like this." he hated the pleading note on his own voice, but what else to do? She scoffed. The knife was dangerously close to her throat.
"If it is me you are afraid of, I swear I won't do anything you wouldn't want me to! It is for you to decide. I swear it on the All-Father's spear!" Loki now sounded desperate and then he felt something was cracking in the Princess's fighting attitude. She barked a horribly bitter laugh and gestured towards something on the bed.
"Oh, my poor sweet prince, you think all of this is about you?" She gestured again and Loki saw a sheet of paper lying on the furs. Apparently she wanted him to see it. He cautiously moved to grab the sheet while not letting his eyes go off his crazy bride. He didn't like her condescending tone but he needed to know what was going on so he didn't argue any further.
It was a suicide note in which she explained that she couldn't bear the idea to abandon her homeland and to be married. That she was starting to lose her mind since she learned of her engagement and feared to go definitely mad. She insisted that she had killed herself on her own free will, having lost any desire for life a long time ago. And also, she explained thoroughly that no one in the Asgardian court had any idea of her intentions and that Prince Loki was totally innocent. No one was to be accused for she had died by her own hand, by her own volition. Hers and no one else.
Loki read carefully then looked at his wife, still holding her knife, still on the edge...
"Rubbish." he calmly said, as if regaining the upper hand. He crushed the paper in his fist and then he knew exactly what to do.
"Beg your pardon?!" She was indeed astonished by the sudden change of mood.
"Rubbish. You are not some pitiful wench terrified by a distasteful matrimony with the horrible runt of Asgard. You have the spirit of a true warrior, even if you were locked up in a cozy harem you hated." He smirked. "The plan was indeed for you to die. But not with a suicide. I was supposed to kill you, or you to kill me, or in last resort we were supposed to die killing each other in a fight. Am I right?"
The Fire Princess looked at her unknown husband, at his pale face, his thin elegant lips, the bright round green eyes piercing her down to her very soul. Loki remarked that her expression softened even if she was still tense, as if relief washed over her hearing that she was finally busted, that she didn't have to hide or lie anymore. At least not to this strange raven-haired prince she was forced to marry. She smiled and Loki knew it was a brief smile of deliverance. At least, he had given her that.
"That was the three bastards' plan all along, wasn't it? A stupid and costly plan with little hope to succeed. We get married, everything's fine, then something goes wrong and you die and I am accounted responsible for it. First option: War breaks out between Muspellheim and Asgard, ruining both countries. Second option: the three bastards force my father's hand into another compromise that would weaken him but leave Asgard relatively safe and Muspellheim in a dominant position..."
"They want the Tesseract." Sigyn cut Loki.
Loki was so shocked he had to sit on the nearest chair.
"What are they? A gang of retards?!" he shouted.
"Yes." Sigyn calmly said.
They both looked at each other, emerald eyes facing gold ones and then they brutally burst out laughing. They laughed silly till tears came into their eyes and their started to pant. "The Tesseract!" Loki literally roared, his shoulders shaken with laughter. "Why not Mjöllnir while we're at it?!" Sigyn was almost coughing, her face on the bedsheets and, while she was trying to calm down, Loki managed to deftly steal the knife away.
It took some time for them to catch their breath. Loki sat in front of her while she was still on the bed. She knew he had her knife but she didn't seem to care any more. Her strength, all her will were gone, she looked finished. Neither sad nor glad, she just seemed to be over everything.
"Mother and Father died in a few days apart. Officially of high fevers, but I know better..."
So, they are also parricides, thought Loki.
"They were... harsh with me. They had this idea that we had to control Asgard to remain in peace. But here again, I know my big brother. He wants Odin's power. He doesn't care about our people." She passed a weary hand through her tangled hair. Her confession seemed to literally drain her.
"For months they persuaded me to go with the plan. It was as you said. I had to provoke you so you could kill me and all they had to do was to blackmail the All-Father."
And pigs might fly, indeed, thought Loki. They had tormented her and threatened her, or even worse. Probably she yielded thinking she was doing it for her country. And once it was done, Odin would have made sure those idiots never see the light of day again and Muspellheim would have fell under Asgard's protectorate. How dumb could you get? Loki was calculating at speed light. Then Sigyn raised her head and looked Loki straight in the eyes.
"They killed people in front of me." Her voice was heavy and dark. "Children, elders, weaklings... Until I said yes. I had nothing any more, no one. They would have married me to the first rich idiot available. It had to stop." Tears of despair this time flew down her cheeks. "I know you'll laugh at me but I also had a kitten. A black and white stray. He was my only friend. Senn took it away from me and threatened to gut it. It was the last straw. I couldn't..." She shook her head. "Come on, mock me if you want. I let innocent people die and I go soft for a kitten that is probably already dead." Loki cupped her face in his hands and dried her tears with his thumbs. His first tender gesture.
"I'll never laugh at you. You went through so much and you survived. You were ready to die for them all in the end. It is admirable." His voice went surprisingly soft. "You are admirable."
"Still twelve unfortunates died because I refused at first." She murmured.
"We can avenge them and save the others. Including your kitten." He said without sarcasm. She raised her head, totally lost. "How?! I have to die, there is no other option..."
She stopped as they both heard footsteps coming at the door. A worried Odin and Frigga entered the chamber. Loki and Sigyn's absence had been noticed. Odin tried an understanding smile.
"Children, I am very sorry but you have to go back to the party. Your night has not yet begun..." Then he saw the state they were in and he knew it was not out of burning passion.
"What happened!?" cried Frigga anxiously "Have you two been fighting?!"
Loki turned to Sigyn. "Tell them." Sigyn jumped. "No! Certainly not! Your father will kill us all!" Odin was startled. "I am not going to kill anyone before you tell me what in Hel is going on between you two!" He threatened.
Loki threw an encouraging look to Sigyn. "Everything will be fine, I swear." He said.
So, Sigyn sighed and spilled the beans.