Happens during 'Poltergasm'

Mein Awful Weekend in Atlantic City

"Do you know the difference between a government bond and a man?" I echoed the announcer on the TV for the millionth time. "The bond matures." I laughed like a crazed lunatic. Maybe I'll tell the family that one.

I've been in the same position in my bowl for a whole day now because of my back pain. I couldn't move. I just stayed put, listening to the same cycle of TV advertisements since I came here yesterday. I looked at the digital clock on the nightstand by the bed. It was noon. I've missed the first motivational workshop from Deepak Chopra.

It's been a whole day now. I wonder if my back pain is gone. I tried getting up, but alas, sheer pain coursed through my back, forcing me to lay back down. Well, that answers that.

I sighed. Oh, Klaus, what were you thinking? You're a fish on a weekend trip, and you came alone. How did you not know that things could go wrong? I wonder, after a day, you'd think people would know that I haven't left my room, and checked up on me by now.

I was going to yell for Benji, or the maid, or for anybody for help again, when I remembered something, That's right. I told Benji to put up the 'do not disturb' sign on my door. Darn! Me and my big mouth.

They have to come in at some point. Like, when somebody being in their hotel rooms for days or hours, and they haven't come out, they'll break the door down, and find the person dead. I heard stories like that. All I have to do is stay here long enough, die, and pretty soon people will become suspicious, and break in. They'll then see my floating corpse floating up in my bowl.

Yeah, right! I don't want to go like that. With any luck, I'll die when I'm old, as a human, und possibly back in Germany, due to naturaul causes, not because I was stuck in a hotel room because of a stupid back pain, listening to the same TV advertisements going in a nonstop loop.

I don't want to be here here forever. I don't want to spend Thanksgiving, Christmas, and the rest of my life here. I want to go home, back in Virginia. Sure, I hate my life with the Smiths, but at least it'll be better then here. This won't be the suite life of Klaus Heisler.

Something has to happen. Anything! I mean, if nothing happens and it's just me laying here with my back pain, going crazy every second, repeating the same bleeping' stuff over and over, that'll be a boring story for you readers. Imagine if they made a movie where it all took place in one place, like in a car. I wonder how successful it'll be, probably not much. Like Klaus Baudelare in the Series of Unfortunate Events (I know. Klaus' parents gave him a wunderbar name, didn't they? Too bad they had to die in a fire) movie said 'everything happens for a reason', well, everything happens for a reason, and I'm sure something will happen, so you readers have nothing to fear. Something will happen!

I then heard rain from outside (See? Something is happening already). I look at the window. How I wish that I could pull back the curtains to see what was going on in the outside world (other then rain that is).

A few minutes later, I heard birds cawing like crazy, heavy rainfall, and the wind roaring. What is happening out there?!

A few minutes later, I heard thunder and then lighting. Hmmm, must be a thunderstorm. I went back to echoing the ads, and laughing crazily.

I then heard a smash, and looked to see what happened. There was now a tree branch on the floor. I looked at the window. It had shattered, and the glass was now all over the floor. I saw that the sky has turned green. Why is the sky all green? Is a tornado coming? I sure hope not! I know not to always relay on a tornado coming because of a green sky, but still! It's still somewhat worrisome; you don't know what's coming! I then noticed that everything was blowing like mad. I then saw some sort an animal blowing in the wind. Wait, was that a cow? It mooed, and some power lines sparked and crashed. The hotel room then went pitch black, and the TV went off. I would've probably been relived that the TV was out, and that those stupid commercials were no more, but I wasn't. I was too busy being terrified. I gulped.

"Benji!" I said. Nothing. I tried again, louder. "Benji!" I then saw lighting, and for a brief moment, I saw it. A tornado headed my way. I screamed at the top of my lungs. "BENJI!"

I then was lifted off the bed, and flew out of the window.

"BENJI!" I was lifted out of my bowl, and I grabbed the onto the window ledge. The door opened, and I saw Benji on the other side.

"Hold on, little fella!" He said, and went to me. But I lost my grip, and blew back towards the storm.

"BENJIIIIII!"

I blew into the tornado. I couldn't believe it. I was seeing the inside of a tornado! I was utterly frightened. Oh mein gosh! This is it, Klaus Heisler. This is how you are going to die. I don't think this tornado was going to take me to the wonderful Land of Oz. I accepted my death, and waited for the end.

When I awoke, I was on the ground. Debris was all around me. The storm was over, but it was still mighty windy.

I couldn't believe it. I was alive! I saw the inside of a tornado, and survived; but I was flopping up and down. My bowl! The tornado didn't kill me, but my lack of breaths surly will. I then felt someone grab me, and put me into water. I breathed a sigh of relief, and looked all around. I was in a new fishbowl!

"Are you okay, little guy?" A familiar voice asked. I looked at who had spoke, and a smile broke out all over on my face. Benji! He came to rescue me! "I'm going to bring you somewhere safe." We were about to go when I gasped. A tree branch from a broken tree was about to fall on top of us!

"LOOK OUT!" I cried. Benji looked, and he ran. The tree branch fell onto his back, and he dropped me. "BENJI!!" I stared at the horrible sight of Benji's crushed body. Is he dead? EMTs then came in with a police officer. The police officer grabbed me, and we watched as an EMT touched Benji, trying to feel a pulse. He faced the officer.

"He's dead!" He informed the officer, my fear coming to life. Poor Benji! He saved my life, but lost his. Why is the world so cruel? I wonder, is that tree branch that fell on poor Benji from the same tree as the tree branch that crashed into my hotel room? The officer carried me away.

As he walked, I gasped as I saw all the damage the tornado has caused. Power lines were down. Houses were destroyed. Cars were wrecked. Everything was in ruins. So mush destruction; I could hardly believe it. More police officers, firefighters, and EMTs were also there, carrying people on stretchers, hosing down fires, and just helping out, and news reporters interviewing people.

"I can take him officer." A man told the police officer. We looked at him, and I realized him as the man behind the front desk of the hotel. I saw his nametag, and saw that his name was Even.

"Thank you." The officer said to Even, handing me to him. "I really appreciate it."

"No problem, officer. I know how busy you are." The officer chucked.

"Yeah!" He agreed. "Very busy!" We both looked at him.

"Then do it!" He went back into reality.

"Oh, right, right!" He then left. Even looked at me.

"Are you okay?" I didn't answer. I just looked at him like any other fish would. "It's okay. You can talk. Benji told me all about you." I was about to when I realized something. My back; it didn't hurt anymore.

"Hey! My back! I have no more back pain!" Even was shocked.

"Wow, fish! I thought Benji was losing it; you can talk; and we checked in a fish at out hotel as if he was an everyday guest."

"Ja, you did. I might be the first ever fish as a hotel guest."

"Yeah; I guess you are." He then changed the subject. "So, what did you do to your back?" I told him what had happened to me.

"That sucks." He said to me after my tale. "I'm sorry that had to happen to you. I read online that they made a movie in the UK where all of it takes place in a car."

"Really?" I asked, shocked. He nodded.

"Yeah." He changed the subject. "Wait until Benji hears that you're alive."

I frowned, not wanting to tell him. He noticed my facial expression.

"What's wrong? Benji's alright, right?" I looked back at him.

"Even, I hate to say this, but Benji…died. I'm sorry. He was crushed to death by a tree branch. He was a good man. He saved my life, but lost his." Even frowned as well.

"Oh, that's too bad. Benji was a good employee and friend. His family will be so sad. He had a wife and three little kids." He then changed the subject. "I know that you said that your back didn't hurt anymore, that's great, but you should still go see a doctor. Tell them what you told me, and see what they say."

"Ja. You're right. Even though I watch a lot of medical shows like Grey's Anatomy, and reruns of Scrubs, I'm no medical expert."

"I'll call the clinic, and arrange an appointment for you. I'll even take you there." I smiled.

"Thanks, Even." Even smiled too.

"No problem! I'm sure Benji would've done the same thing." I nodded in agreement with a frown.

"Ja; he would've."

On the way to the clinic, the radio was telling us about the tornado. I learned that 100 people were injured, and were now homeless, and the death toll was over 300. Even changed the station to some lively music.

"Here." He said to me. "You have been thorough too much to hear depressing news." I smiled, got myself comfortable, and got lost in the music.

The doctor told me that my back pain might come back, and gave me medicine for when it does. I thanked him, and Even drove me back home (to a shelter, because the hotel was no more).

That night, I packed my suitcase, including the medicine that the doctor has given me, getting ready to go home. Due to the tornado, the last remaining workshops were canceled, so I was free to do whatever I wanted until my plane. Even came with me the next day, in case something else went wrong, and dropped me off at the airport.

I was unpacking my suitcase back at the Smiths' when Hayley came to me.

"Hey, Klaus." She greeted. "That was such a good joke you told us back there."

"I'm glad you enjoyed it." I said to her. She was about to go, when she thought of something else to say.

"Say, we were watching the news, and there was a deadly tornado where you went to. You weren't in that, were you?"

"Ja; but I'm okay. I didn't get to do my workshops, but I'm fine."

"Gosh! That must have been scary for you. Well, at least you're alive. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?" I chuckled.

"That's what the song says." Hayley then left.

Although the tornado and my back pain have ruined my trip, I was grateful. I was grateful to be alive, and grateful that I had Even, Benji, and the doctor to be so nice and caring towards me. I'm grateful that my back pain was gone. And I was grateful that it wasn't worse then it was. On my next trip, I dearly hope that it's not like mein awful weekend in Atlantic City.