Kodoku (孤独) | Loneliness
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Part 1: Heaven
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"Hey, Rin-chan... Are you tired?"
"Hey, Rin-chan... Am I allowed to sit beside you?"
"Hey, Rin-chan..."
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I want to say that words, I want you to know my heart, I want you to know how much I love you, but ...
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"Hmm... Hanayo? Whats wrong?" Greet Maki, patting my shoulder.
"Ehh... Ma-Maki-chan?" I replied her.
"Mou, you seem off today, Hanayo." Maki said while sitting on a bench staring at her desk in front of me.
"I-I'm sorry... I didn't mean it." I said, bowing his head.
"Cheers up... If you need something just to talk with me, okay?!"
"Thanks, Maki-chan. I did nothing really. "I replied with a smile.
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The tomato girl turned around her back to me while waiting for the next class.
I am in my silence trying to distract into my book studies. I tried not to look at you again, but I can not lie to my heart.
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"Hey, Rin-chan... Do you know, I miss your laughter? ..."
"But, why do you seem gloomy now?"
"Why do not you want to talk to me again? ... Have you no longer trust me?"
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Slowly, i recalling my childhood memories, When we walk together and holding hands after school hours. Do you also remember?
In the winter, we both walked through a narrow alley, you suddenly release my hand and ran to the corner of power pole, you saw a cardboard box and peek into the contents.
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"Hey, Kayo-chin... Look!" You told me enthusiastically.
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You lift a kitten with your little hands and hold him in the arms of your chest. I liked it, your laughter radiant.
And you has start acting like a kitten since that moment, sometimes you wear a cat ears at the top of your short hair. But it actually makes you more cute, the orange color of each strand of your hair more shine brightly like the rising of the sun in the morning sky.
I remember every movement of your hand when you start to say "~Nyaa", you never cease to embrace me, putting your head on my shoulder every time you feel bored. Umm ... it's heavy anyway, but I also enjoy it.
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I... I do not expect you sensitive to my feelings. I just wanted to stay with you forever, no more than that. But why do you like away from me now?
The last time you spoke to me is when home from school a week ago, at the time you even took the initiative back to the classroom to pick up my bag behind. However, upon your return from there, you don't even want to talk any more.
Now, I thought about what really happened at that time. Is it possible .. perhaps you've seen it?
I grabbed my bag and pulled out my diary. I checked carefully every sheet that I write on it. The last page, I wrote a poem about you, I gave it the title of "Heaven"
But, is it possible Rin-chan can understand the meaning of poetry writing. I mean, Rin-chan is not a person who likes to read kanji complicated. But, if that happens, did your treatment to me lately means that you reject me?
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Arrrgghhhh ... I flustered... how shall i do?! Did she hates me now? ! Somebody please help me!
My heart beat faster at the thought of it. Heartburn and pain mixed in my chest when thinking of you. Did you know that Rin?
Ahh ... You turned back to look at me!
I hope you don't see me, I don't want you to worry about me... Yes, I just have to reciprocate with a smile as usual.
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Rin-chan, you often say that I am a cute girl beyond you. But, you are wrong Rin-chan! You are the cutest!. And I love you, really love you.
That's why I do not want you to know my feelings, because I was worried if you know it instead broke my heart, because you are my heaven, and I do not want to lose it.