"The SECRET LIFE OF THE AMERICAN TEENAGER" is a television show that is owned by Brenda Hampton and the Producers of ABCFAMILY CHANNEL. This story is based on the main plot of that show, but the story is my own making.
THE HEART OF THE MATTER
Ashely: Amy. Why in the hell are you here. (angry)
Amy: Ash I know that you and I haven't talked in a really long time, but...
Ashley: We haven't talked Amy, because there is nothing for us to talk about. You and I are have nothing in common. You have the sister you always' wanted in Grace remember.
Amy: Ashley I know that you're angry with me and you have every right to be angry. I just thought that since you are about to be a mom, that it's time you and I put an end to this rivalry we have beteen us.
Ashley: Our rivalry was finished a long time ago Amy, and you won. You got Dad, Mom, Mimzy, all of it remember. I left you stayed and got everything you want. You got Mom, and Dad taking care of you, and giving you all their attention. You got Ricky to marry while you had Ben suffer for sleepingAdrian, so their daughter died, and their marriage ended. You got Adrian to be your new best friend and bow down to the greatness of your relationship with Ricky. You got to New York and live it up there. I got to come here, and start all over. What are you bored with everything at your own home, and now you've decided to come here and screw up my family. I heard you and Ricky are still trying to screw over Ben. Wasn't it enough that you two ruined his entire life. Do you want to destroy both of us is that it. Or are you here to see if you can make me lose my children the way Ben lost his.
Amy: Ashley that is going too far. (begins to cry for what Ashley said). I had nothing to do with Ben and Adrian losing their daughter, and you know that. I cried for that little girl dying just like everyone else.
John: Mom, Aunt Ashley maybe we should all calm down, and just go down stairs with Uncle Matt.
Ashley: Uncle Matt...(gets red with anger in the face) MATT! (Moves past Amy to look for her husband)
Matt: (looks at Jaimee) Well, that can't be good.
Ashley: Matthew! (waddles down the stairs using the banister for balance)
Matt: Yes, love of my life.
Ashley: Don't you my love of my life, me you English muffin. How is it my sister who I've told you one billion times I never want to see again is here in Italy, in my home.
Matt: Their here because I invited them Ashley, so please calm down. Don't forget you can't get worked up like you used too. You have three other people to worry about.
Ashley: Matt, (calming down) if you know that this pregnancy is difficult why are you giving me complications.
Amy: Don't blame Matt Ashley, I called him.
Ashley: You called him, how on earth could you call him when you don't even have his number. You and the rest of the family didn't even know I was dating, much less married so how... Ben.
Amy: Ashley, Ben was only trying to help.
Ashley: I didn't ask for that stupid love sick puppy to help. A year ago he and I didn't need anyone's help. We were both okay with our careers, with our lives, without any of you in them. So tell me how did you get him to fall in love with you again? All this time I thought it was Adrian he still had a warm spot for. But, I guess that is your doing. You tricked him back into believing you're some damsel in distress.
Amy: Ashley Ben, is in love with Adrian. He did this because he is only trying to help me attone for my past.
Ashley: Why Amy? Didn't you get everything you wanted? Why would you need to attone for that?
Amy: Because Ash, getting everything I wanted wasn't getting what I needed. What I needed was my little sister. The person who loved me, and knew me better than I knew myself.
Ashley: Well that's a laugh, because I don know you Amy. After everything you've done, I don't think I've ever known you. I guess I was like Ben, and I believed the same lie you tricked him into belieiving. We believed that you were innocent and naive. We thought that you meant well, and that you cared about us. We thought that you needed us to help you, and that you actually loved and appreciated all that we sacrificed for you.
Amy: I did Ash.
Ashley: No you didn't Amy. What you did was use us. You weren't naive, you knew what you were doing the whole time. You knew that Ricky was a jerk, and he didn't give a damn about you. Ben and I thought that you didn't know what to do, and that is why you thought about getting an abortion. But the truth is you had no intention of getting the abortion, or giving John up for adoption. You used John the same way you used us. We were no more than a means to an end. Ben was an innocent guy, that you took advantage of so you could make Ricky jealous, and use his family's money. Me, I was no more than a stupid kid who you used as a free babysitter.
John: Aunt Ashley that isn't true.
Ashley: No John it is. The only reason she even chose to keep you is because she knew she could use you to get Ricky, and continue manipulating everyone else around here
Matt: Ashley that is enough.
Ashley: Matt this doesn't concern you.
Matt: Yes Ashley it does. Now I know that you and your sister have problems, but that is no reason for you too pull your nephew into this. I might be new to all this family drama, but I am still your husband and that makes me part of this family as well. So your problem with your sister is also my problem with your sister, and that is why I'm going to help you solve it.
Amy: Matt don't. I don't want you to get involved or cause friction between you and Ashley.
Matt: Sorry Amy, but I knew this would happen the moment I took your call. I should have called you along time ago before Ashley and I even got married, but I was foolish to believe that she would fix this on her own.
Ashley: I did fix this, Matt that is why I left.
Matt: Ashley you didn't fix anything you ran away. That is what both you and Ben did, you ran away from your problems, instead of facing them. If you two used half the courage that is inside of you to help yourselves, that you use to help others, your sister wouldn't have had to call me, and Leo wouldn't have died before he and Ben resolved things. Leo died believing that his son hated him Ash, and you were worried something like that would stay with him for the rest of his life. Ash you are pregnant with triplets. My triplets, and you have already collapsed from exhaustion once. I don't want anything to happen to you Ash, and I would hate for anything to happen to someone in your family without you being able to restore your relationship with them. (Takes Ashley by the hand, and looks into her eyes.) Ashely Elizabeth Jeurgens Harding I love you. I love you enough to say that sweety you are a strong, beautiful woman. So stop being a cowardly bitch. This is your sister, and even though you have ill feelings toward her for how things turned out in your past you are both strong women so fix it. I don't want our children (places his left hand on her stomach) to grow up not knowing their family. Now show me and your nephews the strong, caring, and forgiving women I fell in love with. Work things out with your sister. (kisses her passionately)
Ashley: (looks deeply into his eyes) Matt, I hope you enjoyed that kiss because you will never be touching me again. Enjoy sleeping on the couch. This, BITCH is going back to bed. (heads back to her bedroom and slams the door.)
Matt: Well that definitely didn't go according to plan.
Amy: I'm sorry for all of this Matt. Maybe it would be better for you if we left.
Matt: Don't Amy. I meant every word of what I said. Ashley needs to grow up, and accept the responsibility for herself. I love her, and I want to be with her for the rest of my life, but she is just so stubborn.
Amy: It runs in the family
John: I can vouch for that.
Amy: Thank you sweety.
John: You're welcome mom, but maybe I can help things.
Amy: John you shouldn't get involved, this isn't your problem.
John: I know Mom, but it's like Uncle Matt said because I'm your son, and she's my aunt that makes it my problem too. Besides that I feel like I have too.
Amy: What are you talking about.
John: Even though it sounds strange since I haven't seen Aunt Ashley since I was two, but I missed her. I mean I have hardly any memories of her as a child, but when we were upstairs and she was hugging me it felt right. It was like I was a kid again, lying against her reading a story. Does that sound weird.
Amy: No it sounds about right. When you were younger Ashley was always reading to you, and taking care of you. You and Robbie would both chant her name when she would come into the room.
Jaimee: How come I don't have any memories of her mom?
Amy: Because sweety when you were born Ashley and I had stopped talking to one another.
John: Sorry squirt looks like I lucked out.
Jaimee - This isn't fair I wish I had memories with Aunt Ashley too.
John: I wish you had them too squirt.
(Unknown to everyone else Ashley stands at the top of the stairs hiding and listening to them.)
Ashley: I wish I had those memories with you too Jaimee. (She lets a tear fall as she see's Jaimee, and remembers' her time with John, and Robbie. She feel's sad, and guilty she never had those memories with Jaimee. She rubs her hands over her swollen stomach, and a tear slides down her cheek.)
GLENN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA
OFFICE OF DR. FIELDS
Dr. Fields: So how is everything going for you today, Adrian.
Adrian: Things for now are good, really good.
Dr. Fields: And by that you mean.
Adrian: I mean I have finally laid to rest all my feelings for Ricky.
Dr. Fields: Well that is nice to hear, but are you sure that you have put aside your feelings, or are you just hoping you have?
Adrian: No, I have definitely put aside all my feelings for Ricky Underwood.
Dr. Fields: What about your feelings for Omar?
Adrian: Omar and I have come to an understanding. I will always have a special place in my heart for both he and Ricky, but they aren't the one.
Dr. Fields: And why is that?
Adrian: Ricky was what I thought I wanted because I thought he and I had so much in common, but truthfully he and I were as different as night, and day.
Dr. Fields: Can you explain further.
Adrian: When we were in school Ricky was the hot guy that everybody wanted because he was the hot guy, with a believed bad boy attitude, but that wasn't him at all. Ricky was attractive, but not the bad boy. In truth reality, Ricky was a broken little boy who was angry.
Dr. Fields: Weren't you angry as well?
Adrian: Yes, but I was angry for how people treated me, and disrespected me. Ricky used sex to gain power over women to deal with the feelings he had of having no power when his father forced himself on him. I was lonely. I used sex to feel love, and have someone next to me, and pretend that I was loved by the guy I was with.
Dr. Fields: Didn't you love Omar and Ricky?
Adrian: I loved Ricky, but I don't think he really loved me. When you love someone you don't try and hurt them. I thought when Ricky cheated on me all those times it was because he was just afraid, or I just had to show him more love. But that isn't true. Ricky hurt me because I let him, he knew that I wanted to be with him, and even though he cared about me he knew that if I gave him the power to hurt me he would.
Dr. Fields: Do you know why you gave him that power to hurt you?
Adrian: I gave it to him because I thought it would make him love me, because I didn't love myself enough to realize I deserved better.
Dr. Fields: What about Omar?
Adrian: It's the same. Omar loved me, and wanted me and coveted me. But in all honesty I loved him, but I wasn't in love with him.
Dr. Fields: Why is that?
Adrian: Because I knew deep down I didn't want to be controlled. I wanted to be happy, and I didn't know how to be happy with myself.
Dr. Fields: Are you happy with yourself now?
Adrian: Yes, I am. I know now that I am a strong woman. I can survive on my own without needing to depend on others, but if I need the help of others they will be there. My mom, my dad, my friends like Grace, Jack, Clementine, Chloe, my friends from college, and Ben will all be there to support me if I need them. Knowing that helped me to realize that they had faith in me, and it was time I started having faith in myself.
Dr. Fields: So why did you divorce Omar, didn't you believe he would be there to help you when you realized this?
Adrian: I divorced Omar, because when I realized this, I had to come to the realization that Omar didn't trust me. When he found his brother Dante kissing me, he blamed me. He didn't even waste time to listen to anything I had to say. He made me feel so low with how he spoke to me, and his family was worse. They thought I tried to throw myself at him, and Dante made himself look innocent. It was then I realized that I needed to be on my own.
Dr. Fields: How did Omar take that?
Adrian: He was angry, because when he finally got Dante to fess up about what happened he thought he could just apologize or turn it around on me, and say it was my fault. When he did that I realized that love without trust doesn't make a marriage. When we separated I realized my own inner strength, and I guess that strength made me realize I was not the woman for Omar.
Dr. Fields: Well good for you. But now let's get back to the primary subject that you don't want to talk about. How do all of these events, and feelings bring you back to your first ex-husband?
Adrian: You mean how does all my feelings for Ricky, and Omar make me want to be with Ben?
Dr. Fields: That is correct.
Adrian: It brings me back to him because all of the flaws I had with Ricky, and Omar I never had with Ben. He never wanted to hurt me, and even when he did, he made himself hurt even more. I could trust Ben and he could trust me that was the central pen of our entire relaionship. No matter what happened to us in high school I could always trust he would be there for me. I could talk to him about anything, and he understood me. Ben accepted me not for who I was, but for me. He accepted the good, the bad, everything I was, everything I am, and everything I would be.
Dr. Fields: Well if that is the case why haven't you and he talked in so many years.
Adrian: Shame.
Dr. Fields: What shame. Were you ashamed of him for how he acted in the nursery.
Adrian: Not his shame mine. Ben needed me, when Mercy died and I just let him suffer. Then I turn around and kick him out so I could continue my obsession with Ricky, and be a slut by sleeping with his best friend.
Dr. Fields: I thought you didn't sleep with Ricky again?
Adrian: Not Ricky Henry.
Dr. Fields (shocked at this news) You slept with Henry Miller when?
Adrian: The day I graduated. That day Ben was there being my friend, he even took me out to dinner.
Dr. Fields: So why did you sleep with Henry?
Adrian: Because after we went to dinner, we went to the graduation ceremony, and then the grad party. Ben went with Henry and I went with Omar. Ricky got engaged to Amy, and showed up acting like the power couple, and he kissed me.
Dr. Fields: He kissed you, why?
Adrian: He and Amy made it seem that they were giving me what I had been asking for, one last kiss to see if I still had feelings for him, but it was really to embarass me one last time and prove they were better than me and Ben.
Dr. Fields: Did you feel anything?
Adrian: No, I actually felt free of him.
Dr. Fields: So what happened next.
Adrian: Omar got embarassed, and went off on me about how that kiss was wrong for both of us, and in a way he was right.
Dr. Fields: So you being you found Henry to ease your pain.
Adrian: No, Ben saw what happened and he eased my pain. He danced with me, and held me and made all my pain go away. (eyes begin to water thinking back to that night)
Dr. Fields: So why did you sleep with his best friend?
Adrian: Because I told Ben to move on with another girl, and that was the night he met Dylan. I was so angry with him, for not staying with me. I saw Henry, and he came over to pretend and be my friend. I knew what he wanted so a flirt, a talk, and boom just like every other guy.
Dr. Fields: And I'm guessing this is what really caused Ben to distance himself from his friends.
Adrian: That and him sleeping with Alice.
Dr. Fields: Okay, how did that happen.
Adrian: You will have to ask Alice, and Ben that.
Dr. Fields: Adrian, I am proud of the breakthrough that you are making, but I need to know is the reason you are getting therapy because you think it will make the negative feelings you have go away, or are you hoping this will make Ben want to be with you.
Adrian: Both, and neither. I want everything you said, but I am doing it for me. I want to be the woman that Ben saw me as so many years ago. The woman he wanted me to become. I want to be the woman who is worthy of the child we once shared together. I want to be strong enough to be the person who can be there in his hour of need. I want to be able to look at myself and be proud of the woman I see in the mirror. If that woman is the woman that Ben can love again then that is well and good. But I also want to love myself. So even if things between he, and I don't work out, it won't destroy me. It will make me stronger, and still give me the ability to live my life for me not for anyone else.
Dr. Fields: I must say Adrian, I am glad for this turn around in you. I only wish you had come to me when you and Ben lost Mercy. I believe if you had, we might have been able to save your marriage.
Adrian: (shocked at his response) Okay, am I hearing you right. I thought that you were okay with Ben divorcing me. I mean you were the one who told Ben not to sleep with me weren't you.
Dr. Fields: I didn't want Ben to impregate you, or take advantage of you Adrian. I never meant for your marriage to end. Unlike you think, when I reviewed both you and Ben in therapy I realized that you two were higly compatible.
Adrian: What?
Dr. Fields: Adrian you were a young girl that wanted and needed to be loved. Ben was a young man that wanted, and needed someone to love. The only reason you two really failed was because of your youth, and your immaturity. Both of you would choose to run from the pain you were feeling rather than face it. Both of you chose to turn to self destructive behavior because you thought you deserved to be punished. The death of your daughter made you both believe that it was a punishment for the night you spent together.
Adrian: Wasn't it.
Dr. Fields: No it wasn't. Adrian if children paid for the sins of their parents, then John would be in a much worse position don't you think? Adrian bad things happent that is a part of life. It doesn't matter who you are with, who you are married to, or who you love. But, how we deal with the bad things that happen in our lives that make us stronger. Life is not a fairytale Adrian where love is going to always give us a happy ending. Life is an adventure and a journey. Life is a true test of faith, and courage. The bad things that happen to you only serve as a reminder to help make us stronger, and lesson to make us wiser. You, and Ben chose to believe the bad in your relationship, instead of asking about the good. When Ben was last here, he was almost on the break through of that realization.
Adrian: (shocked at this revelation) If Ben was on a break through, what happened.
Dr. Fields: What happened was you interrupted him, and ended your marriage that day.
Adrian: But, how come he just didn't come back, and you could have helped him.
Dr. Fields: Ben never came back after that day Adrian, and he refused to see me so I couldn't help him.
Adrian: So if I had just waited one day, I could still have been married to Ben.
Dr. Fields: I wouldn't say that, you just don't know Adrian the possibilities of what could have, would have, and should have happened are endless.
Adrian: Well in your personal opinion, do you think we would have been together?
Dr. Fields: In my own personal opinion I'm not going to tell you, because you have suffered through enough guilt. You can't dwell in the past Adrian, other wise you risk going down the same path as Ricky did.
Adrian: I guess you're right. I guess I have to concentrate on the future, and go from there.
Dr. Fields: I guess so. See you Friday Adrian.
Adrian: See you Friday, Dr. Fields.