TALKING IT OUT
AMY & ASHLEY HAVE BOTH BEEN AVOIDING ONE ANOTHER, BUT ASHLEY HAS BEEN SPENDING TIME WITH JOHN & JAIMEE TO CONNECT TO THEM SINCE THEY HAVE BEEN SEPARATED FOR SO LONG. AMY HAS BEEN SPENDING TIME WITH MATT & DIANA TO GET TO KNOW HER NE IN LAWS.
MAY 3I, 2021
MONDAY 1:30 PM
BOLOGNA SHOPPING CENTER
Matt: Well ladies as much as I would love to stay and help you both shop, I think I shall take my leave of you since I do have a 5 star hotel to run, and a pregnant wife at home.
Diana: Use that excuse little brother, but we know we bored you.
Matt: Yes you did, I will never understand why women need so many articles, that you can't possilby all wear.
Diana: Well I can't understand why men love to keep their wallets pinched as if it's a babies bottom.
Matt: Because we're the ones who look at the credit card bill at the end of the month.
Amy: It's okay Matt, my husband is the same way.
Matt: Well it's nice to know I am not alone in this situation. Ladies. (takes a cab back to the hotel and leaves them the cab)
Diana: Well it's nice of him to let us two girls have some alone time together.
Amy: Yeah, I have to say I really would like to get to know you better Diana.
Diana: And I you. Sorry for my younger brother's actions he's just a bit worried since I was not exactly a fan of yours, when Ashley revealed her life to me.
Amy: How much of it did she tell you?
Diana: Well since she was going to be my new sister, and my little brother is very important to me I made her reveal all of it.
Amy: What was your interpretation of me?
Daina: I was okay with you until she told me about your relationship with Benjamen.
Amy: I have to admit that, will always be my biggest regret.
Diana: I have to queary though, why did you and she just separate.
Amy: Can I be totally honest?
Diana: Of course, we are family.
Amy: It was my stress, and envy. I was fifteen years old Diana, and I was a mother. I became another statistic. I don't regret having John, but I will always regret the life I gave up for him. I had to miss out on a lot for John. The first couple of months of being pregnant were easy, because no one knew I was pregnant. Then the word got out, and that's when the whispers and rumors started. It was tough going to school every day with people staring at you talking about me behind my back, and I became the gossip column of the whole school. Some of them made fun of me behind my back, some of them felt sorry for me. I didn't want that. I didn't want anyone to feel sorry for me. The worst part were the people who claimed to be my friends, and how they acted.
Diana: I thought you had friends there for you.
Amy: I did, but I was the one pregnant, and being the baby was my problem, and it should have been my choice, no one 's like the moment I got pregnant it became everyone's problem, but it was really my problem. So many people can feel sorry for my husband, because he was abused, but he wasn't the one who had to live with the proof of what we did for nine months I did.
Diana: Amy I wish I could feel sorry for you, but I can't it was your decision to sleep with him.
Amy: I know, and that's the worst part. Having to admit to myself I gave my virginity to a man I didn't know, I didn't love, and know I was having a baby with him. (begins to shed tears) Then I meet the greatest guy in the world only two weeks later. I always imagined I would meet a handsome man who was smart, funny, and kind. Then we would get to know each other we would fall in love, and we would give ourselves to each other. That didn't happen. When I met Ricky I was a naive fool, who let herself get taken by his looks, and charm. Then I meet Ben who was everything I wanted, only to realize I would never be what he wanted or needed because I had sex before I was ready.
Diana: But, didn't Ricky become the man you wanted.
Amy: I guess. I don't know. I have to guess. Because I don't know if Ricky is what I want. I was the mother of his son, and I felt I had to be with Ricky for our son to have a normal life.
Diana: Amy please you wouldn't be the first girl to have a child with a man as a teenager. That doesn't mean you had to be with him.
Amy: Try being in my position. I was a stupid teenager who was caring for a child, and everyone made me feel like I was expected to be someone I wasn't. I had an entire school viewing my life like some bad soap opera for four years.
Diana: So if you felt that you had to be with Ricky for John, why were you with Ben?
Amy: Part of me was with him because I wanted to be, the other part was with him because I felt that I owed him. He was sweet, kind, honest, and considerate. But, I couldn't let myself fall in love with him.
Diana: Why not?
Amy: Because I didn't deserve him, and ... I didn't trust him.
Diana: You couldn't trust Ben?
Amy: I know that I was the one with secrets Diana. but Ben had them as well. Ben didn't trust me, and I knew it. He cared about me, but I really don't know if he loved me. Our relationship literally put him between a rock and a hard place. If he stayed by me he would have to put up with my entire life, and my child. He would also have to put up with Ricky for the rest of his life, and those two were like gas, and a match destined to bring chaos together. If he broke up with me he would be the bad guy, who just lied about loving me. That hurt. Knowing I put him in that position. He was only fifteen, and I put him in that position.
Diana: What about Ricky, didn't he have a say in this? (gives Amy a handkerchief)
Amy: (crying into the hanky) He did, and he never said anything. Ricky was free to do everything Ben, and I couldn't. He got to go out, sleep around, and meet girls, because he wasn't pregnant I was. He wasn't the pregnant girl's boyfriend Ben was. He wasn't the sister of the pregnant girl with divorcing parent's Ashley was. He was just the guy, who started all of this and he was still free to enjoy his life while the rest of us were stuck waiting to see what he was going to do.
Diana: I'm sure it wasn't like that, I mean I'm sure he was just as confused as you were.
Amy: He never acted like it. Because every time I called he was always in bed with Adrian, or some other girl. While I suffered through my pregnancy, with Ben. He was still acting like the same asshole that got me pregnant, and that just made me angry. Angry that I had to go through all of this, and I pulled my family, and Ben into it, and he got to have the freedom that my pregnancy denied everyone else. I know that it's not all his fault, because I was the one that chose to sleep with him, but he could have at least given a damn about what he was doing to me, and everyone else.
Diana: Amy, I admit Ricky was acting selfish, but given what he went through as a child that is expected. A childhood like that must have made hi life difficult.
Amy: And what about Ashley, Ben, me, and Adrian. I was fifteen and my first time was with a jerk who just wanted to pop my cherry. Adrian was a lonely girl who let guys use her just so she wouldn't be alone at night. Ben was a great guy who just wanted to fall in love. My sister and I were dealing with the entire break up of our family. All our lives revolved around him, and he didn't care. He didn't care that Adrian loved him, and he was the first guy that she loved in a long time. He didn't care that Ben tried to be his friend, despite the fact he got me pregnant. He didn't care that he was going to turn my life upside down, all because he forgot to wear a condom. It's like everyone gave him a get out of trouble free card because of what Bob did to him, and he made the rest of us suffer for it.
Diana: Well Ben told me that he was at fault for influencing your decision at the abortion clinic.
Amy: Yeah, they did but I'm the one who would take all the blame, because having John was still my decision. Ben and Adrian were there that day, and so was he. But you know the difference between them and Ricky. They were there because they actually cared about what would happen to me. Adrian might have cared because she wanted Ricky too, but she was the child of a teenage mother, and she knew what could happen. Ricky was there all so he could pretend to be a nice guy, and try to fuck my future step sister. This was his baby, and Grace told me that he didn't even admit he was the father. Ben, may have gotten Adrian pregnant, but when he went to the clinic he was there for her, and the baby. He never once, not once, denied that the baby was his. It's why I hate him, and Adrian so much. Because neither of them doubted for a moment the baby was his. When he told me that she was pregnant every fear I had about his feelings for Adrian were confirmed.
Diana: What feelings, I thought it was just a one night stand.
Amy: I might have not loved Ben, but I knew him well enough to know he would never give his virginity to someone just to get even with me. I think I know Adrian well enough now to know that night she spent with Ben was more than about Ricky kissing me. It was just their excuse.
Diana: Excuse.
Amy: Adrian and Ben are so much like Ashley. Neither of them will ever admit what they really feel, not even to themselves. I would see every day that Ben and Adrian were more than just friends. I knew it the day I saw him hugging her in the hall.
Diana: Amy what could you possibly tell from a hug.
Amy: A hug from Ben differs. When Ben just wants to hug someone it will last for a moment, but when he wants someone to know he cares it last's much longer, and if you are on the receiving end it's like nothing you have ever felt. When I saw Adrian I knew she was feeling for him what I did. Safe, and free. I used to love being in his room just lying in his arms. It's like you can't be harmed by any thing, because you know he'll be there for you. I knew then that is when she started to have feelings for him. I just can't figure when Ben started to have feelings for her.
Diana: Is that why you broke up with Ben, because you thought he was developing feelings for Adrian.
Amy: That and because I realized I was holding him back. He wanted to be a teenager, he wanted to go out and have fun. He wanted to be free, and have sex. I did too, but I couldn't. I had John, no matter what I wanted to do I would always have John. I realized that just because I was stuck with John didn't mean he had to be.
Diana: Really that is not how he claims. He told me you forced him to break up with you.
Amy: I did. I mean I was still a teenager, and I wanted to be the drama queen it was the only part of my life in high school I actually kind of enjoyed. I liked making him be the bad guy, even though he really wasn't. I was hurting too, and I wanted to make sure he hurt as well.
Diana: Don't you think that was kind of rude, I mean after everything.
Amy: I know it was rude, but at the time I didn't care. He was supposed to be there, he was supposed to always have been there. That baby Adrian carried should have been mine, not hers.
Diana: But she lost it.
Amy: I didn't care. I wanted to have his child inside of me like she did. I wanted to feel the baby kick inside of me like she did for Adrian. I wanted him to propose to me the same way he did to her. I wanted to be the one in that beautiful wedding dress, and have him look at me, and marry me the way she did for her.
Diana: Is that why you wanted to be with Ricky, to compete against Adrian and Ben?
Amy: Yeah. I wanted both of them to see that Ricky and I could be just as happy as they were. I also realized I owed it to my son to at least try and have a relationship with Ricky.
Diana: That is where Ashley got mad. That's when you broke the promise.
Amy: Promise?
Diana: The promise you made to her from New York.
Amy: Of course. (remembers the promise she made on the phone to Ashley from the music program)
Diana: Ashley said that hurt being betrayed by you like that.
Amy: She should have been hurt. I made a promise to her not to go after Ricky, then he shows up in New York, and I start dating him without even telling her, or explaining it to her.
Diana: Why didn't you? I mean my sister is my twin, I literally can't keep anything from her, we have this weird ESP connection. She even knows when I have an orgasm. Which is why I never let her know who I'm dating (laughing). How come you just didn't talk to her.
Amy: Honestly I tried, but at the same time I didn't know what to say. Ricky was the one who went after Ash, I know. But I still couldn't help, but feel jealous. He even forced me and Ben to get back together then just so he wouldn't feel jealous.
Diana: Now, I'm starting to understand the resentment you, Ben, and Ashley feel toward Ricky. It seems as if he did screw everyone around with his attitude.
Amy: It wasn't all his fault, I mean we were all capable of making our own decisions to live our own lives. Or at least Adrian, Ben, and Ashley could. I on the other hand couldn't do that. I was the one who would always be stuck with my life revolving around Ricky.
Diana: Well, according to what I've been hearing, and what I've seen that wouldn't be too bad I mean he is quite an attractive bloak.
Amy: He is attractive, but when you're in a relationship like the one I was in with Ben, you start to realize there is more to life than the way a person looks.
Diana: But he did change so much to be with you.
Amy: And I really did appreciate it, and deep down he really is a great guy.
Diana: So what was the problem?
Amy: The problem was I was limited in my choice of guys. The only reason I was even able to meet Ben was because of sheer act of chance. I wanted the ability to choose from more than one guy. Ashley, Adrian, and Ben everyone got the opportunity to choose to have other people in their life. I would always be stuck with just one guy. I know that sounds selfish, and mean. But, I wanted to have the same opportunity, and choices as everyone else. Ricky, got to have those experiences, those opportunities, and I wanted them too.
Diana: So is that why you went to New York.
Amy: Part of it yes. I wanted the ability for just a while to be free, to be me. The ability to date other guys, and make sure that Ricky was my right choice.
Diana: Well I can't fault you for that just because you had a child with him didn't mean you had to marry him.
Amy: Exactly. Even now I'm still not sure if Ricky is the guy for me. Yes we have two children together, but my mom and Dad had me, and Ashley. They still didn't end up together. My mom told me years ago that I should take time to decide the right choice for me, other wise I would end up resenting both John, and myself. Even after I did that, I see that Ricky resents that choice. Ashley may hate me for how I acted, but I resent her for how she acted.
Diana: Well she resents it too.
Amy: Yeah, she really resented the ability to go all the way to Italy, and live care free in this gorgeous place. To work in a luxurious hotel, and learn how to cook extravagent meals for the rich, and famous. Meeting new, and exciting people til one day by total chance of fate meeting the man of her dreams. I wanted the ability to have a life like that too. But, back home it was like everyone was in a big hurry to get married and settle down, just because we had kids. I don't think any of us ever actually considered what we were doing until it was too late. The only two people who actually wanted that life were Ben and Adrian.
Diana: How could they want that life when the divorced so soon?
Amy: If you ever truly understood Ben and Adrian you would see. Ben is a great guy and so was Ricky, but unlike Ricky Ben didn't need to change. He was everything a girl could need, and want. He may have been a little geeky, impatient, and immature, but he was also strong willed, loving, caring, and loyal. It's why I fell for him. It's what Ricky had to learn from him to become the man he is now.
Diana: I understand. But, if Ricky became all those things why are you having problems.
Amy: Because Ricky became all those things under pressure to be with me. I'm not sure that I fell in love with him, or the man he became. I'm not sure if he loved me for me, or obligation to our son. I want real love. Love that you never have to doubt or question. Love that let's me accept a man for who he is, a love that will have a man accept me for who I am.
Diana: So you and Ricky are turning out just like Ben and Adrian (still half hoping for herself that Bend didnt have real feelings for his ex-wife).
Amy: I used to think that. But, to be honest with you it wasn't. Ben and Adrian fell in love by fate. But, their relationships with us really messed up their destiny.
Diana: I wished you wouldn't have said that...
Amy: I'm sorry Diana, I know you have feelings for him.
Diana: It's okay. Benjamen told me a long time ago he's not one for falling in love.
Amy: When did he say that?
Diana: Christmas before last.
FLASHBACK:
Diana and Ben are both dressed up for Christmas as they celebrate the holiday, with Ashley and the rest of the family.
Matt: Ben, Di you two are standing under the mistletoe.
Ben: (feeling inadequate about the situation) Diana it's okay it's just a silly tradition.
Diana: Ben in our family traditions are meant to be kept. (steps forward, places her arms around his neck and kisses him deeply. Ben accepts the kiss and reciprocates). That wasn't so bad was it.
Ben: No it wasn't. (looks sullen about the situation, Diana looks hopeful)
Later after dinner and conversation both Ben and Diana are in their rooms. Ben left early.
Ben: (knocking on door) Hold on. (opens door to reveal Diana clothed in a black silk robe and lingerie)
Diana: Well if I had known you were going to leave the celebration early I would have rode down with you. Since I had to knock on your door I guess we will have to do this at your place.
Ben: Diana, this isn't right.
Diana: Why not. I could tell from that kiss Ben you find me attractive, so what is the hold up. I've been giving you the green light since I was twenty.
Ben: I know, and I've been hitting reverse everytime.
Diana: But, why Ben. What is wrong with me don't you find me attractive.
Ben: Of course I find you attractive: Diana you a re a beautiful woman. But, I'm not the guy for you.
Diana: Why not. I find you attractive. I find you smart. I think you're funny. We have known one another for years. Both our families are friends. So why are you so against having a relationship with me?
Ben: Because I find you smart, funny, attractive, dertermined, and very passionate.
Diana: Again, why are you so against having a relationship with me.
Ben: Because I care about you alot Diana, and unlike some I know that any relationship with me would hurt you.
Diana: Ben I know you well enough to know that you would never hurt me.
Ben: Which is why I can never be with you.
Diana: Why? Ben I'm not like those other two girls that Ashley told me about her git sister, and your slut of an ex-wife.
Ben: Di, please don't insult them. You don't know either of them well enough to make judgement calls on them.
Diana: From how the treated you and Ashley I think I can. Ben you two, are two of the most wonderful people I have ever met. I can't understand how anyone could treat you the way they did. American women save for a fool to pass you up over some guy with a sob story and a pretty face. You are a wonderful man, and even as a kid you were way better than that jerk they chose over you. What self-respecting woman would share a child with a man who she didn't love. Or marry a man, then divorce him because your child died. You did everything for those two, and they did nothing for either. Not even sleeping with that slut, considering every guy slept with her.
Ben: Di (becoming angry) Don't say anything about Amy or Adrian. I know that Ash and I still have resentment towards them, but that is not the whole story. Ash and I both know the whole story, and maybe one day we will tell you.
Diana: Well considering I just offered myself to you on a silver platter Ben giving up all of my pride, and self respect, the least you could do is give me your story.
Ben: Fine, and you're right. (Ben then recants the whole story of his life in Glenn Valley to Diana) So, now you see why I can't be with you. I'm not right for anyone anymore Di, and I care about you too much to be involved with you. I know all to well how bad it is to love someone, only to see that the love you have for them isn't enough. To spend everyday, and most of your life wondering why you weren't what they wanted. I never for a moment want to put someone else through that. If all of that wouldn't have happened Diana we might have stood a chance. Or if I was a lesser man I would have just tricked you into believing something more could happen between us until I was done. But I've seen what that does to others, and it ruins the lives of others.
Diana: Because that is what Ricky did to Adrian. But, Ben why would you let them do that to you?
Ben: Because I cared about them enough to take that pain away.
Diana: But, whose going to take your pain away.
Ben: It's like my Dad said I always want to save girls, but I'm still trying to figure out how to save myself. Until then I like to think of myself as your average, ordinary, everyday, super hero. Without the powers, the nice looks, or the super villains. I know that doesn't make me a super hero, but saving people from broken hearts is just like fighting evil.
Diana: (laughs and smiles at Ben) I don't know about that Ben, but you are definitely a hero in my book. (kisses his cheek) One day maybe I can be your Lois Lane.
Ben: Oh please with your looks, I would want to be Batman to your Cat-woman.
Diana: Because she is so fearless.
Ben: No, because I find a woman in leather with a whip way more attractive.
Diana: If you end up getting your head straight, you just might (Closes her robe). Goodnight Ben.
Ben: Goodnight Diana. (Opens his door, and lets' her out). I really need to get my head straight.
PRESENT STORY ARCH WITH AMY & DIANA
Amy: I'm sorry Diana. I guess Adrian and I really ruined him for you, and every other woman.
Diana: No, you didn't. Ben did that to himself. Unfortunately I don't think he had any choice in how he would have reacted. I think even if he knew what was going to happen he would have still done the exact same thing.
Amy: Why do you think that?
Diana: Take a look at his family. His Uncle stayed behind to help fight the Nazis, and a corrupted Italian government. Then gave his land to the people. Instead of taking credit for his work, and becoming involved with the politics. He could have even taken his place on the throne, but he didn't. Did you know his other grandfather who he's named after was a rebel who used his ship transport POW's from all over Europe. He took them supplies, braved Nazis blockades, and even helped get Jewish families escape from Germany. That's how he met Ben's grandmother. Being like that is what makes Ben who he is. Look at all he's done for others through his magazine. No matter what would have happened Ben would have done what ever it took to help those he needed him.
Amy: Yeah, I just wish someone could save him from himself.
Diana: You know the comics, only a really strong woman can save the hero.
Amy: You wish that woman was you.
Diana: Yeah, and do you?
Amy: Part of me always will. Because it's the only way I feel I can thank him for all he did for me and John.
Diana: Do you think this Adrian woman can do it. I mean she already had her chance.
Amy: I don't know, but I think she has a better chance than anyone else.
Diana: Why?
Amy: Because I guess it was fate. Adrian was Ben's first, and even though Adrian had been with a lot of guys Ben was the first guy to ever get her pregnant. Something like that had to have a reason.
Diana: I guess. We should get home.
Amy: Thanks for talking with me Diana. I have to say you would make a much better therapist than lawyer.
Diana: Maybe, but lawyers get on Parliament. I already know the problems of English nobility, I want to fix the problems English nobility causes everyone else.
Amy: You have my vote, if I were allowed.
Diana: Well our country is much easier to get in than yours. (both women begin laughing as they make their way back to the car)