Let's get to the true season. Thanks for reviewing, queenoftrouble, Katie Grimm, AvrilLavigneFan2001, Bloodylilcorpse and the guest reviewer. Sorry to everyone whose review I missed in the last story – my computer went weird and I'd backed up before the reviews came in and forgot to write all of them down.

"Greetings, old friends!" Chris grinned. "Oh, and newbie." he added, glancing at me.

Heather was the first to speak up. "I am NOT your friend." she said in her usual irritated tone.

Lindsay smiled at her. "Aww, somebody misses her honey bunny."

Heather glared at her. "Who? Alejandro? As if! I'm glad he isn't back, that handsome jerk."

Courtney glared at Chris. "You're going to pay for my dry-cleaning."

"No, I'm not. New contracts, 'member?" I rolled my eyes. Chris was bad enough on the screen, but when I was actually here, it felt as if he was several times more obnoxious. He went on to tell us the new things. "First, the island is now one hundred percent toxic-waste free."

I breathed a sigh of relief. The contestants almost died several times because of toxic waste last season.

Sam wasn't so happy. "What? I only came back to get up close with some toxic goop so I could become a kickbutt mutant, like my gal Dakota." He held out a picture of him with Dakota, one of the old contestants-turned-intern-turned-mutated contestant. Chris had made her go into a mine for forty minutes, and afterwards, she lost all her hair, before mutating into a green-haired, orange-skinned creature.
"Gee, too bad." Chris laughed. "Guess it's gonna be all pain, no gain for you, huh?"

On the other hand, there was one good thing. Chris said that the winning team got better accomodation than the cruddy cabins on the island. The losing team would sleep there, but the winners would get to sleep in a spa hotel, "Complete with butler, hot tub and twenty-four hour masseuse."

We all cheered. Finally, the teams were being split into Heroes vs Villains.

I made my first confessional on that. "So I'll be on the team that's missing one Villain or Hero, right? Let's see...Heroes will have Zoey, Cameron, Sam, Lindsay, Sierra, Gwen and probably Mike – I mean, his personalities were all good last season. That leaves six Villains." I grinned. "Well, at least that means I'll be with Duncan! And that's the right team for me."

Sure enough, Chris stuck me on the Villainous Vultures with Heather, Jo, Lightning, Duncan, Scott and...Gwen? What the...how could she be considered a villain?

"Sha-team!" Lightning exclaimed.

"Wha?!" Gwen exclaimed, looking horrified. "Why am I on the Villains' team?"

Courtney answered. "Because you stole my boyfriend and became the new Heather!" Okay, now I got it.

"Yeah, what she said." Chris agreed.

"But I've done so many good things! I'm not a villain, I'm nice!"

"Being bad is cool." Duncan told her. "And now we're on the same team, so that's good, right?"

"I guess." Gwen muttered, not sounding happy at all.

The other team were the Heroic Hamsters. The only really questionable choice was Courtney, who was clearly a villain.

At that moment, Chris' robot began bleeping. "What?" Chris said. He paused. "Oh, I get it. You wanna be on a team." He turned to my team. "Also, you guys get the robot." As he spoke, the robot wheeled itself over to us, beeping happily.

"I thought the robot could talk." Scott spoke up.

Chris shrugged and said something that made Lindsay ask "Was that English?"

Basically, whatever it was, he meant that the communication chip stopped working while he was in jail and so the robot couldn't talk any more. But it did try to edge as close as it could to Heather. "Keep your distance, toaster!" she scowled, pushing it a little further away.

Chris told us that this was a season which would have challenges based on seasons from the past, and I thought back my favourites and least favourites from seasons. I'd loved the talent show, the horror movie challenge, the New York challenge and the modelling one (when they had to rescue Lindsay afterwards). But on the other hand, I'd hated the eating challenges, as well as the canoeing one, the hospital movie one (although Heather's will was funny "To my brothers and sisters, I leave you nothing. Earn it yourselves, you lazy slackers!"), the Germany one, and the one where Zoey went all insane after Chef shot her with pasta and the necklace Mike gave her broke.

This one was based on the original first – jumping into shark-infested waters from a high cliff., but this time, it was to find the key to the spa hotel.

I heard Scott gulp when Chris told us that. He'd had a problem with a mutant shark called Fang last season, and eventually, Chris had let it attack him. He'd recovered now, but I understood if he was scared of sharks. I had my own fears. I was scared of confinement – after juvie, I had a few recurring nightmares about being locked in a windowless room with Mal, who would...well, you don't want to know. Thankfully, I hadn't had any more of those nightmares since I was fifteen.

Anyway, what would happen was that there were several keys embedded in the sand below the cliff. Each person would dive in, and try to avoid the sharks long enough to grab one of the keys. Then, a teammate would drive us to the spa hotel in one of the baby carriages from the New York challenge in World Tour. First team to get the right key would sleep there that night, other team sent someone home.

"Meet me at the base of the cliff in fifteen minutes, chop chop!" Chris said, climping onto a tractor an intern was driving.

"Wait!" Mike called after him. "Shouldn't we change into our swimsuits or something first?"

"Sorry! No time!"

So we all had to walk through the forest. It was annoying, not knowing most of the people.

"Ugh, I said keep away from me!" Heather yelled at the robot. I walked with Gwen and Duncan, since I knew both of them. Then Heather and Jo got into an argument, and Gwen tried to make peace. "Guys, just because Chris labelled us 'Villains' doesn't mean we have to act like villains! We're a team! We should work together as a team!"

I think all of us made confessionals about that team. Mine went like this: "Okay, Gwen, if you ever see this, you know I love you and all that. But you've been on this show for four seasons. Since when did any of the people on this team besides you and Duncan not have their own agenda? Kudos for wanting the best, but whatever the opposite is for thinking it's possible. I certainly don't trust anyone on this team. And I'm only on the Villains' team because there was a spare spot left for me!"

Courtney kept looking over at us, trying to burn Gwen with her glare, I swear.

Gwen noticed it too. "Courtney keeps glaring at me like she's trying to set me on fire."

"I'll give her a glare back for you." Duncan offered, but the second he did, Courtney looked away. "Um, hello? Courtney? Hey!"

I gave Duncan a shove. "What, isn't it enough to have one ex-girlfriend be friends with you? What would you want with Courtney any more?"

Duncan shrugged. "Nothing. I just don't like being blanked." He put his arm around Gwen to emphasize it. "There is never going to be a 'me and Courtney' again."

I saw Lindsay nudge Courtney and say something to her, but I didn't dwell on it. We got to the beach, and we had to pick one person to drive the carriage.

"I'll drive!" Scott and I said at the same time.

"No, I'll drive!" Jo argued.
"Sha-please," Lightning said, "You're the slowest go-kart driver ever!"

"But I'm also the shopping cart racing circuit champion!"

"I don't believe that for a minute!" I snapped. "Okay, so maybe I shouldn't drive. I think Lightning should do it – he's faster!"

Lightning shrugged. "Nah, championship status rules. Jo drives."

I gave a sigh. Gwen spoke up. "But Jo, wouldn't you make a better diver, since you're so athletic?"

"No one tells me what to do, goth ball, and don't even try to kiss me!"

Gwen gasped. Yeah, I didn't get that either.

The Heroes were a bit better at choosing, but eventually, Courtney made Lindsay do it. Well, at least she couldn't screw up on that. Right?

The rest of us ran up the cliff, including the robot. We also discovered that Fang was back.

Scott pushed Gwen and I in front of him. "After you, I insist."

"You're such a gentleman." I muttered sarcastically. "Creep."

But I jumped second, after Jo came back with Lightning. This gave me the chance to hear a funny little conversation between Courtney and Lindsay.

"Go, go!" Courtney urged.

"Which way is the hotel again?" Lindsay asked.

Courtney gave a sigh. "Never mind, I'll do it!" But Chris told her she couldn't trade, so she snapped "Just push."

"Okay." Lindsay said. She paused. "How do you push again?"

After I saw Jo and Lightning coming, I cannonballed into the water, as Sierra stood ready to jump next for her team. I just managed to beat Fang to the shore, and jumped into the carriage. As I did, I heard Sierra, who had just jumped, coming out of the water, calling "I found one that looks like Cody!" Of course. EVERYTHING had to be about Cody for

"Listen up, newbie!" Jo said. "I'm in charge, okay? Get in my way, and I'll make your life a nightmare."

I rolled my eyes. "First, I have a name. It's Bailey. Second, there's only one person here who could match my nightmares, and he probably couldn't any more, anyway."

Jo looked interested. "Oh? And who is that, exactly."
I shrugged. "Mike. Not like you can use that information against me unless you know all his personal details. I watched the last season. Don't underestimate small people – Cameron proved that he's better than you last season!" When we got to the spa hotel, I tried it.

"Wrong key." I told Jo. "Don't say anything, just get me back, quick!"

As it was, niether team had any luck until it was time for us to try and make Scott jump.

"You have to dive." Duncan reasoned. "It's you or the robot, and I'm pretty sure the robot isn't waterproof."

"Yeah, but it's shark proof!" Scott stammered. Eventually, Lightning managed to pry Scott off the rock he was clinging to, but bumped into the robot. It got to the end of the cliff and made an "uh-oh" sound before the earth crumbled under it.

"So long and good riddance!" Heather said happily.

But then, an explosion happened in the water. A figure was launched out of the water, and even from there I could make out the caramel skin, the dark hair that was long for a guy, the muscular build, and I gasped with the other contestants.

"YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!" Heather shrieked.

The fourteenth contestant, our extra player, was Alejandro. I remembered the lava incident at the end of the season, but...the treatment was being sealed into a robot suit? Seriously?

I didn't know whether it was good or bad that he was on the show. On the one hand, he was a strong competitor. On the other, it looked like his lower body had gone numb from being stuck in that suit. On the good side, he had the right key and won the challenge for us. On the bad, he was a devilish manipulator, and the last thing I wanted was to have him trying to charm me.

We got to sit in a little peanut gallery to watch the Heroes kick someone off their team. Gwen attemped to apologize to Courtney about how things happened with Duncan and the whole boyfriend-stealing thing. She even picked flowers and presented them to the brunette, but unfortunately, Courtney was allergic. Her response to Gwen? "Told you you're a villain!"

Bitch. Yeah, you heard me.

And then, Chris said "Before we start, I need one winner to volunteer for a special reward!"

"Ha! Sha-Lightning!" Yeah, Lightning volunteered. To spend the night in exile on that creepy little place called Boney Island. Okay, so there was an invincibility statue hidden there, but still, I wouldn't give up a night in the spa hotel for a chance to find it.

The Heroes voted (this time, it was by drawing a cross on the picture of the person they wanted out), and Chris gave a marshmallow to all but two. "Lindsay, you're on the chopping block for your terrible driving skills. And Courtney, you're on the chopping block for making Lindsay drive."

Lindsay, who had voted for herself (due to the cross on her face), spoke up. "Yeah. What's the matter with you?"

"And the loser is..." Chris said, drawing out the silence. "...Courtney!"

"WHAT?" the brunette shrieked.

"I have to stay here another day?" Surprisingly, this wail came from Lindsay. "I can't do this! NOOOO!"

But Chris wasn't going to change things after the votes were cast. Although Lindsay wanted to go, and Courtney didn't want to, the votes stood, and Courtney was led to the new elimination device. I went with the rest of my team to the spa hotel, but I still caught a glimpse of the giant toilet that people were eliminated in. Chris called it the Flush of Shame. Well, at least it was an extra incentive to stay to the end.

The spa hotel was nice. It didn't have completely separate rooms – there were four, so all of us had to share a room with one of the others. I asked Gwen to share with me, since I'd met her before, and I liked her a lot better than Heather or Jo.

So that's Bailey's first day as a contestant on Total Drama! And she's up against All-Stars? Wondering where she'll go next? We'll find out soon!

Sneak peek at next chapter: We get an early glimpse of Mal, Gwen's lost her chance at making up with Courtney, and someone pulls a move that wouldn't sit well if his girlfriend heard of it...