Welcome back everyone, I just want you all to know that this story is officially hitting the 'M' rating with this chapter and the real hilarity ensues. There are some adult scenes in this as well!

Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist or any of the other things that don't belong to me that are in this story.

Chapter 4: No He Didn't!

xXx

Roy had stayed silent; Archer raised a fine eyebrow at the man and Ed couldn't help but gaze at the two of them curiously. They were having a telepathic conversation of sorts and it looked like Roy was on the angry end.

"May we be of some help to you Mustang?" Archer asked nonchalantly.

"I just, I was looking for Ed." Roy's eyes turned to the small blonde who didn't dare look straight at him.

"I see," Archer took a sip from his beverage but didn't move from his spot.

"I wanted to speak to Fullmetal alone." Roy emphasized the last word and catch a faint pink spread across the teenager's face.

"Well, I'm sure whatever you can say in front of Ed you can say in front of me. We are all military after all." Archer's calculating eyes watched the Flame Alchemist intently. He stood up, sitting next to Ed and putting a lean arm around the teenager who looked back at the both of them like a deer in headlights.

Roy would punch all of Archer's teeth out if he could! The only chance he had to confront the blonde and he was completely cock blocking! His jealousy flared up but Roy would remain composed as usual. "Well, the information is more of a confidential nature Frank."

"Actually, Archer is right. Whatever you can say I'm sure you can say it in front of him too." Ed chipped in, unable to look at the black haired man but with enough zest as to try and convince Archer otherwise.

Roy's eye twitched irritably at the pair, a smug smile on Archer's pale face and Ed fidgeting around so much you'd think there were a colony of ants in his clothing. "Perhaps another time, Major I expect to see you in my office tomorrow at 10 A. M. sharp."

Roy left no time for the blonde bombshell to argue; he walked away from the pair, the image burnt into his mind he headed for the nearest bar or cantina serving strong alcoholic beverages. He found one near the entrance of the building and ordered two glasses of rather expensive scotch before he chugged the both of them down earning some wearisome looks from the other military personnel around him. All the man could think about was Archer's stupid arm around HIS Ed. The onyx eyed man slammed his crystal glass down.

"Bartender, two shots please, and I won't be needed the salt or lime," Roy ordered and the frightened man scurried away.

Roy ran a gloved hand through his hair; was this what it had felt like to be all those poor women he had left right before they woke up? He shuddered at the thought. He couldn't even truly appreciate the almost innocent look Ed had and the bashfulness that made his face light up like a Christmas tree. Archer knew something, pressing his buttons like that, and he was using it against him. The brigadier general drank his two shots like water; he had to find Al and talk with him. Maybe the younger blonde could make some sense out of all of this. The older man got up, the strong alcohol finally able to circulate freely he felt a nice buzz whirring in his head. His limbs had loosened up as and he didn't feel as stressed.

Where did Al say he would be? That's right the garden. Roy trudged forward seeing that there weren't that many people there it would've been a nice place to drink his sorrows away. He ventured deeper in, where the immense rose bushes started and he heard light gasping behind the corner. The man smirked, he recognized that sound and he moved carefully as to not tip off the passionate couple potentially making out in the absent garden. But to his surprise he didn't see two soldiers grabbing and making out oh no- he saw Al and Scar almost kissing. Their hands begging to claw at each other as they twitched uncontrollably. Roy couldn't believe his eyes and his mouth was up and working before his brain could truly register what was going on.

"Al?" He called out.

At that precise moment Scar practically levitated from where he was; his red eyes the largest Roy had ever seen them as he pushed the younger Elric away from him and jumped into the night.

"Scar wait!" Al called out to the man, his large bronze eyes filled with confusion and hurt he turned back to Roy.

"Al… were… were you about to kiss him?" Roy questioned, all traces of whatever his problem with Ed was gone.

Alphonse's big eyes look guilt ridden as he blew out a large amount of air from his nostrils. Roy could see the younger Elric's eyes water slightly as his body began to tremble.

"Oh Al, it's not a big deal please don't look at me like that. So you were about to… to kiss… Scar." Roy was still trying to digest the information, trying to picture them in various other settings. "Look, let's sit down and talk. Clearly there's a lot we need to talk about." Roy sat on the bench once occupied by Al and the Ishvallan and patted the side next to him. "How about you go first? Somehow I feel like my side of things is going to take a lot more explaining then yours."

Al hesitated, not really knowing where to start he sighed. "I was looking for brother and ended up seeing Scar here. We talked for a little bit and I told him about you and brother kept getting closer to each other." Al felt himself turn red as he replayed the past events in his mind. He saw Roy tense slightly at the mention of his name. "Don't worry, I swore him to secrecy. He's not the kind of person to be spreading anything like that around."

Roy thought about it, "True, true continue."

"Well yeah, to be honest it all just sort of happened; we kept getting closer and he…" Al bit his lip. "I was just awe struck by the way he looked and we kept getting closer…! It was like I was there and but I wasn't there and it just felt..." Al paused for the right words. "It felt right."

"So you wanted to kiss him," Roy stated.

A sweet smile found its sneaky way to Al's face and he felt his cheeks warm up. The thought of Scar made him feel a jubilee of emotions and his blood pumped fast in his veins. "I did… what does that mean?"

Roy smiled, looking at Alphonse's expressions shift suddenly, knowing that the Ishvallan man made him happy. What it was like to be falling for someone. "It means that you really, really like him, at the very least. You guys have a connection, deeper than just common interests."

"Like you and brother?" Alphonse questioned innocently watching Roy's eyes shoot open.

Roy cleared his throat, the alcohol and the sudden question throwing off his composure. "Your brother hates me."

The short haired blonde's eyebrows knit in confusion. "What are you saying? Ed didn't tell you?"

"He doesn't even want to speak to me. I saw him talking with Archer, and Archer's arm was wrapped around him." Roy spat bitterly.

AL smacked his head; leave it to Ed to make things complicated! "Ugh brother! Ed likes you Roy! He's always liked you since he saw you he's just so bad at expressing it."

"If he liked me he wouldn't be with Archer he'd be with me…!" Roy pouted, wrapping himself in his arms, it was getting cold.

"Roy," Al made the buzzed man look at him. "What happened last night? You told me that you took him straight him and you didn't."

Roy's weary and hazed eyes had a hard time looking at Al's round and passionate eyes. The man closed his eyes tightly and sighed, "Last night Ed and I kind of got sloshed. I made a short joke, he came after me and we made out in the alleyway. We ended up going to my house, one thing led to another and we had sex… multiple times."

"Oh geez…" AL stayed quiet not knowing what to say. "Did brother say anything to you?"

Roy chuckled darkly, flicking off one of the pointy thorns on the bush behind him. "That's just it, he didn't say anything. He left before I woke up."

This time Al was truly speechless; he had assumed that Roy had left his brother but not this. It made sense when he thought about it- Ed would leave before he was left and probably never speak about what happened again. He gazed sadly over at the general who was in emotional turmoil. It was obvious that Roy and Ed had feelings for each other. Hell, the office erupted in gossip when the two weren't around! The blonde had felt bad that Roy's ego was bruised but at the same time he completely understood why Ed did what he did. Ed's always loved Roy and the thought of being another notch on his bedpost was enough to crush whatever hope his small brother had left. How ironic, Al would've laughed, maybe this was karmic retribution for Roy, being left by the one he loved. They both would make the biggest drama in the world.

"Do you know why brother left you general?"

Roy huffed, "I know why, he thinks it's all a mistake. He thinks it was a mistake to make love with me and he's ashamed of me. It's always bastard this or stupid colonel that…! I thought he at least liked me but I guess I was wrong." Alphonse laughed lightly and Roy turned back sulkily to the blonde. "Is my pain amusing to you Al?"

"General, he left because he thinks he's just another one night stand! Ed may act all tough but he's really sensitive. I know he's parading around to be happy but he's been pretty bummed out since he's lost his alchemy. I don't think he can take being kicked around when he's down. You should talk with him, he lost his virginity to you for goodness sake!"

"I know that Al!" Roy stated desperately. "I know I've been a bastard to him plenty of times but I'd never do something as cruel as take his virginity and just bail. I would've taken my time with him, hell hide it from the military. But he walked out on me."

Al rolled his eyes, the general could be so dense when he wanted to be. "You're telling me you wouldn't walk out on yourself with the reputation you have? Even more that all you've done is tease and taunt brother after all these years?"

"Fair enough, you have a point." Roy sighed and let the slender blonde's words register. He let a small smile grace his lips and Al couldn't hold back a grin of his own. "You're sure he likes me?"

"Yes, I'm positive just talk with him before it gets out of hand. You know how he can be." Al hesitated before shyly looking at the general. "So… are you…?"

"Don't worry, I won't tell Ed anything about Scar."

xXx

Scar had gotten away as fast as he could; he collected his senses and ran a hand through his silver hair. What the hell had he been thinking? He sat in a lonesome hotel Armstrong had gotten for him in the meantime, not a sound was heard. He felt his spine shiver at the picture his brain captured of the younger Elric and at the moment he was having some rather suggestive thoughts of Al. He looked down and saw that he was still hard from the previous moment he had shared with the beautiful, hazel eyed angel. That damn Mustang! He could've been kissing Al passionately in the garden! Scar took a deep breathe thinking about what he was truly saying.

He was about to kiss Alphonse Elric, the suit of armor recently returned to his human body who was still a teenager. Alphonse Elric, Edward Elric's younger brother. The blonde he had let sleep in his own bed because he was going to wake up with a killer headache. The same bronze eyed boy that saw right through him. The very same blonde that was currently giving him a rock hard erection and had he been given the chance would've pounded into him so hard he's have to move around in a wheelchair for a week.

Scar smacked his head; he was an Ishvallan monk for Ishval's sake! To make matters worse he was having thoughts about a boy whom was much younger than him. He was having thoughts about a boy whose brother he was trying to kill just about a year ago. It was funny how the tables turned so suddenly. The red eyed man sighed, he should be thanking the Flame alchemist from stopping the both of them before something worse had happened. But in the back of his mind would it really have been that bad? The man had to admit, anyone that had ever even had contact with Alphonse could tell he was a kindred spirit; the boy had a heart of gold that could outweigh all the treasures of the world. Scar was drawn to him, able to see past the hollow armor and beyond the blood seal that bound him into this world. As a monk he truly learned to appreciate the finer, more genuine things their god had to offer and that boy was definitely a beacon of light in a quickly darkening world. But with his thirst for vengeance and then stopping Father from destroying all of Amestris he couldn't put too much thought into these sentiments. But they were all free now, Scar from his fury and Al from his steel prison. The boy was beautiful in every aspect before he had gotten his body back but now…

The Ishvallan groaned, his length twitching at the mere mention of Al he knew what he shamelessly had to do. He stepped into the bathroom, locking the door as if someone would randomly walk in on him. He unbuckled his belt and pulled down the pants given to him by Miles and the tented boxers revealing an engorged length. Scar sighed, he couldn't even remember the last time he did this; he grabbed the lotion the hotel had generously left, spreading it on his hands, he ran a strong hand down his shaft. He imagined that Al and him were not interrupted by Mustang and were able to plant chaste kisses on each other before they began to bite at each other's lips as if they would die had they stopped. Scar bit his lower lip, not wanting to emit any noises. He began to pump faster as his thoughts turned sultrier, ripping Al's clothes as their skin burned from the contact, their lengths rubbing against each other. Scar would leave a trail of kisses on his neck and chest while the blonde underneath him would buck up and writhe in pleasure. Then, with the proper stretching and after plenty of foreplay, Scar would push himself all the way inside Al's tight cavern, the blonde emitting shrieks of pleasure as he clawed at his back. The nameless man pumped furiously now, lucky he had a whole hotel room to himself, he bit his own lips furiously to keep from moaning. It wasn't long after that Scar shot a whole load of himself into the open toilet, his heart hammering in his chest he looked at his glistening form shamefully.

What the hell is going on with me? The tattooed man thought as he cleaned up. But it wasn't the last thoughts he would be having of the younger Elric, not by a long shot.

xXx

Roy Mustang woke up at 7:00 A. M. sharp to shower and get dressed. Al and him had made the plan that Roy should show up at their room to speak with Ed because Ed would try and make up some excuse to not see the general. Al would convince Winry to go 'shopping' with him in the morning leaving Ed to sleep in. The devious younger brother even disarmed his brother's alarm clock so he wouldn't wake up before Roy showed up. It was full proof! When Al returned him with a rather distant Ed he phoned Roy to let him know the plan was on. Roy passed by a flower shop, debating on whether or not he should pick up a bouquet for the feisty blonde. He decided against it, it would look to desperate. Roy had his own plan as well; step one, Ed and him talk. Step two, they confess their feelings for each other and begin dating. Last but not least was step three, they have mind blowing sex and then get some food or take in afterward. Step three was optional though, and Roy would go as fast as Ed wanted. Of course Roy had a contingency plan, if Ed rejected him he had a nice bottle of scotch in his locked drawer at work and he could sip it bitterly until the rest of his team arrived. Then he would proceed to make Ed's life a living hell, maybe.

Roy pulled up next to the building, waiting patiently for Alphonse and Winry to exit. Once he saw the blonde pair leave, Al giving him a secret thumbs that all was good to go, he carefully stepped out of his vehicle. Making sure no one saw him he quickly went up the stairs stopping right in front of Ed's door. He took in a big breathe of air, now was show time. He entered the blonde's home, looking around and seeing pictures of them as kids or of their mother. One newly added picture was of that of their entire family including Hohenheim tear streaked carrying a young Edward. Roy smiled, even after being a stubborn brat about it Ed did see Hohenheim as his father. He continued forward on, hearing rather snoring coming from the room with the slightly closed door. He gently tapped it open and saw Ed sprawled in a mess of sheets and pillows. His long blonde hair scattered about and even in his sleep he still had that ever present grimace. Roy wanted to laugh and go 'aw' at the same time. Ed was just too damn adorable.

Roy ran a ghost like hand over several stray strands of Ed's golden blonde hair; the raven haired man inhaled sharply, Ed was so beautiful. Roy had wanted to kiss him, but refrained from doing so. Instead he went by the side of the door and roughly planted his two feet into a military stance. "Attention!" he yelled and Ed shot up like the cork of a shaken up bottle of champagne.

"Ahhh!" He yelled, his voice cracking slightly and Mustang began to laugh. "B- bastard what the fuck are you doing here!?"

Roy whipped the tears that threatened to fall down, clutching his now burning sides. "You should've seen the look on your face! It was priceless hahahaha-"

Ed would have none of it and opting to punch the man in the throat before he began his barrage of questions. "What the hell is the matter with you!? This is breaking and entering! Where's Winry and my brother!?"

Roy wheezed slightly, forgetting that Ed had a lot of power when he throw one of his punches he chuckled a bit more before taking a seat. "They're gone, Al let me in. We need to talk."

Ed scoffed, "I thought I was supposed to be going into your office at ten today."

"We both know you weren't going to show up, now…" Roy grew stern, admiring Ed wearing nothing but white boxers. "I believe we need to have a talk Elric."

The young blonde couldn't help but turn beet red under the scrutiny and choice of topic that was to be discussed. He had to admit, the seriousness Roy exhibited made him look even hotter than he already was. None of that… Ed told himself, eyebrows knitting to keep from controlling his stupid male brain about other more, erotic thoughts. ESPECIALLY not when you're wearing nothing but boxers…!

"Well I'm waiting." Roy stated impatiently. Note to self, take many mental pictures of Edward Elric so I have something to think about when I'm in the shower later.

Ed sat back on his bed, attempting to cover his near nudeness with his wrinkled sheets. "There's nothing to talk about, you're going to be Fuhrer and that's that, just like you always wanted."

"Damn it Ed that's not what I'm talking about and you know it!"

"Well I'm at a loss at what the womanizer of Central would want to talk about-" Ed felt his stomach churn and his mouth salivate. Roy raised an eyebrow confused before Ed darted to the nearby trashcan to abruptly hurl.

"Ed?" Roy rushed by his side, pulling up the long blonde hair away from the teenager's face. "Do you have the flu what's going on?"

"Water… get me my water bottle from the night stand and a towel." Ed chocked out and Roy brought what he requested right away.

"Ed let's take you to a doctor, throwing up like that isn't normal." Roy ran a hand along Ed's back.

"Shut up… mom." Ed suddenly felt weary, slowly getting up to wash his mouth.

"I'm being serious, we can see Dr. Knox before we go into work." Ed shook his head violently and the older man sighed. "Okay then how about we go buy some medicine. I doubt you have anything here that can help you."

"Fine fine MOM! Just let me jump into the shower and we'll head out."

The Flame Alchemist smiled, "Thank you and uh, you're sure you don't want me to help you get in the bath tub or scrub your back?"

"Bastard!" Ed launched a pillow at the laughing general.

"Okay fine, any bedroom talk we can save for after we've had our talk, which I still haven't forgotten about." Roy stated crossing his arms.

Ed said nothing grabbing a fresh pair of clothes for the day he proceeded to step into his bathroom. The sound of a click and shower running made the general feel at ease. Roy sat down on the couch again admiring the pictures of Ed and his mismatched family throughout the years. Winry had apparently brought a box of pictures from Resembool filled with older and new memories up until their present time. Some of the pictures were obviously posed, others random or candid and some even worth a few laughs. There were some of Greed while he occupied the Xingese prince Ling's body arguing with Ed about something. There were even some of him that he vaguely remembered and Hawkeye and Jean. He saw a few dated ones with Tricia, the boy's mother, all with a sweet smile on her face. One picture was of Ed by himself, his permanent scowl on his face, he had his arms crossed over his chest. It captured the boy so perfectly. The onyx eyed man looked around; would anyone really notice if one picture was gone? He decided not carefully slipping the square picture into his pocket. Roy felt a fondness looking at all the photos captured throughout the years, oh how time flew. The man looked at the clock; Ed had already been in there for twenty minutes what was taking so long?

"Ed everything okay in there?" Roy tapped the door and received no response. "Ed?"

Roy was answered with silence again before he realized what was going on. "Ed hello, if you don't answer I'm breaking this door in!"

Without so much as a warning Roy kicked the door in and steam exited the humid bathroom in waves. But there was no Ed and the clothes were gone. Roy looked up and saw the window at the top was open.

"That damn sneaky brat…."

xXx

Riza walked down the smaller streets of Central back to her home. It was the second night she had stayed over at Jean's home and while she kept trying to remind herself that their relations were strictly for carnal needs she couldn't help be feel at ease in Jean's company. The man was aloof, but as she got to know him he was the perfect amount of manly, intelligent, and humorous. She had always found him charming but now she felt like their one night had set something into motion. Riza knew last night she didn't stay because she was 'drunk'; she had one had one mojito for goodness sake! But she enjoyed her time with the smoker. It was pleasant, to say the least. The blonde haired woman let a small rare smile curve her lips, she felt like a school girl back in the academy! She wanted to dig deeper into her thoughts but she heard a familiar voice call out to her.

"Hawkeye!"

Like a good soldier she turned around to salute her superior officer. "Sir!" But her eyes widened when she saw how red General Mustang looked. "Sir, is everything alright?"

"Have you seen that brat Fullmetal!?"

xXx

Scar wanted it to STOP; thank Ishvala Olivier had given him some money to 'buy a new wardrobe.' All his dreams had been plagued by Alphonse Elric and when he awoke he was pitching a tent so high villagers from all over Amestris could take refuge. At this rate he would end up setting his own parts on fire! What was going on with him? Miles had accompanied the man, just in case, but he was perceptive and knew that something was disrupting his usually calm demeanor. But instead of confronting him about it Miles, simply answered him cryptically, a large grin on his face. Suddenly Miles halted with no warning and Scar bumped right into him. He looked up and felt his heart stop- there directly in front of them with several shopping bags were Winry and Al. Both of their round eyes wide, he heard Al gasp softly.

He should've just stayed in his room.

xXx

"I knew it! I knew you were thinking about me!" Jean announced and Riza smacked him with the butt of her pistol. "I know what got you, it was when you walked out of the restroom and I was waiting for you naked wasn't it?"

"I did NOT need to know that and nor did my kid." Ed stated palely.

"Brother I can't believe you climbed out of the window just to not talk to Mustang." Al shook his head.

"I don't know about any of you but I think it's hilarious that someone as stone cold as Scar had wet dreams about Al." Mustang mused wanting to laugh as he thought about it all.

"You're the cretin that stole a photo of a fifteen year old, dreams like that are normal." Scar defended himself, earning suppressed laughter from Al, Winry, Riza, and Claudio.

"I love Ed, I would steal anything from him." Roy tried planting a kiss on the blonde who just rolled his eyes.

"When did you get so romantic it's gross!" Ed stuck out his tongue.

"I told you I'm not ashamed," The entire room went quiet when an infant's cry broke through the house.

"Is that a baby crying?" Olivier scrunched her nose.

"Oh yeah give me a couple seconds hold on." Roy excused himself and they all stared at him incredulous.

"Why does Mustang have a baby? Oh god, does he already have another kid!?" Ed exclaimed ready to murder the man as soon as he returned.

Riza scoffed, "I highly doubt it, we should ask him when he returns."

The flame alchemist returnedwith a black haired infant cooing happily. "Yeah sorry about that guys I promised Mrs. Bradley that I'd watch Selim so she can go to whatever old people thing Grumman planned."

"That's… that's PRIDE?" Al whispered harshly and all the eyes in the room fell on the baby with a dot on his head.

"Yeah I told Mrs. Bradley I needed some practice on taking care of a baby anyway and I did use him when Ed went on his date with Archer to react." Roy simply stated, handing the baby to a now excited Alphonse.

"React to what?" Claudio asked innocently.

Roy shrugged, "I wanted to show Ed I could be a good parent but when he saw me he thought I was taking care of 'some other bitch's' baby."

"Aww baby! I love babies! Why does he have that dot on his head, can I touch it?" Claudio asked, letting the baby homunculus grab onto a finger.

"I wouldn't, I really, really wouldn't." Roy paled slightly taking the child back.

"ROY MUSTANG, the woman of Central conquered by Edward Elric, Alchemist of the people! This is the most romantic thing I've ever heard! You must have your wedding at our estate I insist!" Armstrong stood next to Mustang, radiating a whole show of tears and glitter.

"How… how are you related to him?" Winry whispered to Olivier sweat dropping.

"My theory is that my mother potentially cheated on my father…" Olivier said nonchalantly.

xXx

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