Chapter 16: Joy Ride

Helga was surprised that Sid drove a decent a car, but his driving on the other hand was less than decent. Sid was speeding down the road, cutting people off, and even running red lights. When Helga drove she was always cautious and at least obeyed the normal traffic laws. She did often have road rage but Sid took it to a new level.

"Get off the road if you can't drive! Geez, my grandpa blindfolded can drive better than him!" Sid had just cut some guy off for being too slow in front of him, so he went around the guy, cut him off, and got upset when he got angrily honked at.

"Can you slow down? Are you trying to kill me? I can barely breath!" Helga was nearly sore from the whiplash. Sid made all kinds of crazy turns without even slowing down or putting on his signal. How he managed to get into was unknown to her.

Sid noticeably lifted his foot from the gas and the car slowed some. Thank God there was a red light so Helga could open the window and get some air.

"Sorry Helga. I thought you'd be able to handle a ride with me," Sid said staring attentively at the road. Helga coughed at the double meaning of that statement.

"You okay? Need some water or something?"

"N-no," Helga could feel her face heat up. "I'm just having trouble breathing due to your horrible driving skills. Who taught you to drive? Ray Charles?"

"Sorry. I'm used to driving in the cruiser you know during emergencies and stuff. It's a habit."

"You could at least obey the traffic laws. You're a cop. That doesn't make you immune to the law."

"Ha. That's what you think. We sometimes turn our sirens on just to get through red lights. Don't tell anyone though. Have the maintain our integrity," Sid spoke as he made a left hand turn. "So where is it that I'm taking you? I've never actually been to your apartment."

"It's pretty close."

"Sure you want to go home? I'm basically off the clock. Harold has a poker game at his house every Friday night with a few other guys from the force. I'm sure he wouldn't mind you tagging along."

Well this would suck for them, Helga was a regular card shark.

~/~

Arnold had arrived early at the fancy restaurant Lila recommended for them. He was anxious, not just from the date, but from the last fight he and Helga had. It seemed like things were just turning to complete chaos at home. The sight of Lila walking in in a skin tight black lace dress helped take Arnold's mind off of things.

"Hello Lila," Arnold greeted Lila as she sat down in her seat.

"Hello Arnold. You look ever so handsome." Lila batting her eyelashes at him was enough to make him skirm in his seat.

"Thanks you look very Beautiful. I was surprised you called me tonight."

""I figured you'd be ever so bored at home. Besides, I wanted to see you. How's the job search going?"

"It's going. I'm thinking of applying to that new club, Tenderloins downtown as a bartender. I'm sure it'll pay more than my current situation."

"I'm happy for you! How's Helga doing?"

"Um, can we not talk about Helga? You always seem to want to talk about her. Why is that?"

"I'm sorry. I just wanted to make sure she's okay. You said she was a little off. I just want to make sure she's stable Arnold."

"For some reason I don't believe that, but I'll take your word for it. I've been meaning to ask how long have you been working for Eugene? It just seems odd you ended up working for one of our classmates, especially considering you two never really talked."

"Um, well Eugene and I just connected in an ever so special way that's all."

Arnold smelled bullshit for some reason but nonetheless smiled and continued making small talk. She definitely was hiding something.

"Right, so what exactly was this 'special' connection? If there's another guy let me know."

"Oh no Arnold. I'm only dating you. Eugene has just been so nice to me. He's ever so dear to me. His company is the BEST in the entire city. I have a lot of faith in him that's all, Arnold."

Something about Lila's answer made him feel uncomfortable, but this was a date with a beautiful woman after all. He decided to let the comments about Eugene slide. He owed him a visit anyway. Right now though Lila was his main focus.

~/~

"Ha you losersssss. Who took the whole pot? ME. Helga G Pataki! I murdered you guys!"

"Can we not talk about murder?" Harold was obviously annoyed. He took a large bite out of his 10th slice of pizza that night and slammed his cards on the table. "Why'd Sid invite this girl anyway? She's been winning all of the pots for the past 3 games."

Helga had won $350 from the guys so far and was basking in her winning. The guys underestimated her, but no one underestimates Helga Pataki without getting their asses handed to them.

"I reckon you sure have a killer poker face, Helga. This really bites!" Stinky was still the same old Southern belle he was in elementary school. The only that changed is that maybe he had gotten a couple feet taller. He was certainly the tallest here at over 6 feet tall. "I'm out for the night gentlemen and lady. I have to get back to the farm. I have lemon pudding waiting for me."

Stinky, being a true country boy, lived and remain on his family's farm in the county. He actually made a bit of profit around October from his personal pumpkin farm, but other than that Sid spent his time in music studios, recording country music. He even had his own radio show that came on in the mornings, where he gave verbal manifestos about lemon pudding and social issues. It was actually pretty entertaining.

Stinky took his leave, leaving Harold, Sid, and Helga to the game.

"What is up with that guy and lemon pudding? I thought that was a phase." Harold said as he dealt a new hand.

"Same thing that's still forcing you to eat everything in sight genius," Helga put down one card. "I'm in. I bet $45. "

"I see you haven't changed. I can imagine the men love an abrasive chick," Harold joked.

Sid jabbed Harold in the side, "Put your money where your mouth is Harold. Are you calling or folding?"

"Fiiiine. I match Helga's bet. Call." Harold threw his chips in the center of the table.

"Same." Sid followed suit.

"You guys are really partners. Two chumps who just got their asses whipped. I got a royal flush! Suck it!" Helga revealed her hand, much to the boys disappointment. They both threw their cards on the table in annoyance.

"I'm really tired of losing. You know who's a beast at Poker. Eugene! I can never tell his clumsiness from actual clumsiness. We have got to get him in on this game. He could take even you out in Poker, Helga."

Helga cringed at mere mention of his name, "Really? Let the murderer into your home. Real smart. I'm sure you also believe Rhonda was a druggie."

Harold responded piling up the cards, "She WAS a druggie. I dated her for three years. She used to take Xanax everyday just to get to school. I'm not surprised. You guys didn't get to know her like I did. There were cracks underneath that pretty face."

"Criminy! That doesn't mean she was addicted to sleeping pills. Eugene put that out there to cover his own image."

"Guys, can we get to the-"

Harold interrupted her, "She WAS whether you believe it or not. I caught her downtown with her dealer once. I would've arrested her if Eugene didn't threaten me," Harold yelled and flipped the table over. "If she would've stayed with me maybe she'd still be alive."

Helga and Sid stared in silence and disbelief.

Sid was the first to speak, "Harold, man calm down. We talked about this. It's not your fault."

"Just get out! Both of you!"

"Har-"

"LEAVE!" Harold kicked over the pizza box and then punch the wall, leaving a hole.

"If you don't calm down I will hit you with the tazer Harold. Let's not start this fight." As soon as Sid saw the hole in the wall he just up immediately in defense. He reached down towards his belt instinctively.

"Do it then Sidney! I dare you." Harold stepped over to Sid and stood less than a foot away from him. Harold was twice Sid's size but Sid didn't even flinch when the larger man puffed his chest out in front of him. He slipped the tazer from his belt and put it right up against Harold's broad chest. Sid had ample opportunity to do damage but he didn't. He stood there like a statue. "That's what I thought. Leave and take Helga with you."

"Helga, let's go," Sid said in a serious tone. Helga followed suit and walked with Sid out of Harold's home.

The car was absolutely silent. The way Sid gripped the wheel signalled to Helga that he was very upset.

"I'm sorry about that. He's not usually like that. Ever since he heard about Rhonda he's been a little edgey. I didn't know he was going to act like that."

"You should have tazed him. I would've."

"I would've if he swung at me or posed more of a threat. I knew he wasn't. He's my partner. I trust him with my life. I know when he just needs a reality check and some space." Sid stopped at a red light and glanced over at Helga. "Do me a favor and stop running your mouth so much, okay? You aren't invincible like you think and you need to learn to pick your battles wisely."

Helga was silent. She was never going to promise to stop running her mouth or speaking what she believed to be the truth.

"I need a drink," Sid said breaking the silence. Helga nodded in agreement. She needed a thousand drinks after tonight.

Author's Note: Any thoughts?