This chapter's a bit longer than usual, mainly because I got lost in all the smut ;)
Warning: Mentions of past abuse and non-con.
The drive to Massachusetts was a long one and the day was darkening by the time Emma pulled up outside a set of apartment complexes which looked a far lot worse than Robin's. It didn't look like any maintenance had been done outside, given the overgrown grass, peeling paint and the dead rat on the doorstep. Inside wasn't much better, either. The smell was the worst, cigarette smoke and an array of other drug fumes filled the air, accompanied by stale body odour and somebody's egg dinner.
"Why did I go through the trouble of creating Storybrooke, when I could have cursed everyone to live here?" Regina said as she wrinkled her nose in disgust.
Emma shrugged at her, in agreement that this place would indeed have been a far worse fate for the Kingdom, then knocked loudly on the door to room 6a and waited.
"Yeah?" A voice came from around the corner of the corridor and a man emerged, cigarette in hand. He certainly looked the part for living in a place like this. His hair and beard both knotted and lined with grease and a beer belly protruding from a top that was far too small for him. He swayed a bit as he walked and as he got closer, Emma could smell whiskey on his breath.
"Sorry to disturb you." Emma said. "We're looking for Lilith Page, is she around?"
"No she ain't around." The man said, shortly. "Not for years."
"You know where she moved?" Emma pushed, praying that this man would be more helpful than he looked.
"Lady, she ain't moving nowhere. She's dead."
Emma wasn't sure what she'd been expecting, but it wasn't that. She struggled to find words for a moment, "What?"
"Car wreck, couple of years back. Pretty sure she was drunk." The man drawled, a nasty leer on his face. "Not that anyone missed her. I mean, she was a weird one. Kept to herself. 'Course she had one of those personalities that you wanted to stay far away from. A real loser."
With each sentence, Emma felt what little patience she still contained leaving her bit by bit. Anger was building in the pit of her stomach and she was ready to pounce on him at any moment. It finally happened when the grimy drunk dared to utter the word 'loser' and she lost it with a flurry of energy, throwing herself at the man with a roar and grabbing him by his lapels. She spun him around and thrust him harshly into the corridor wall, dust crumbled onto him from the botchy building work and his eyes widened in shock at her outburst.
"She was my friend!" Emma shouted, voice hoarse with emotion as she raised her fist, ready to break his nose.
"Emma! Emma!" Regina yelled as she rushed towards the two of them. She took a breath and lowered her voice, a calming hand on the blonde's shoulder. "Emma. it's not worth it." She said, unblinking as she tried desperately to pull Emma's focus from the worthless piece of crap in front of her.
Emma froze where she was, fist still in the air as the man breathed shakily. After a few seconds, Regina's words seemed to sink in and she snapped out of whatever had overtaken her with a sharp blink and shake of her head. She released the man with a shove and stepped away from him, staring him down as he looked back at her in horror.
Finally, she turned to face Regina and started walking back the way they'd come, leaving the man to gather himself together.
Regina quickly followed. "Hey, you okay?"
"I'm fine." Emma stated, words as devoid of emotion as her eyes which stared blankly ahead. "I'm absolutely fine."
They climbed into the car and Emma put it into gear.
"So, what do we do now?" Regina asked.
"We go back. We failed."
"Couldn't we go to another address you found? See if anybody there knows anything?"
"The other addresses are all over the place and from well over ten years ago. Anyway, the chances that she made any lasting connections aren't good." Emma said, leaving no room for disagreement as she quickly pulled out and started driving.
They were about an hour into the silent drive back when Regina finally decided to force some words out of Emma, having become increasingly worried as time had gone on and the scowl had remained set on the blonde's face.
"Do you want to talk about what happened back there?" She asked, carefully.
"Nope."
Regina's patience went out the window with Emma's curt reply. "You nearly put that guy through a wall."
"Look I know what you're thinking but what happened back there wasn't me turning dark, okay? It was mourning a friend, you understand that?" Emma snapped back.
"Emma, you know you're not responsible for what happened."
"You heard what that guy said. Her life wasn't pretty, it was dark. That darkness was meant for me, or could have been, or-"
"EMMA!" Regina screamed, yanking the blonde's attention back to the road just in time to see a wolf stood dead centre, staring into their headlights.
She swerved right, narrowly avoiding the animal who remained rooted to the spot. The car rolled off the road, onto rougher terrain and both of them left their seats with the momentum, before coming back down with a thud.
"You okay?" Regina asked, looking to the blonde who'd braced herself against the steering wheel.
"This has happened before." Emma muttered quietly, mind working fast. "The wolf in the road, the accident… The first time I tried to leave Storybrooke."
"Stop over thinking." Regina said as the two of them climbed unsteadily out of the car, where she immediately noticed the deflated car wheel. "It's not fate, its just a flat, we need a new tyre." She glanced up to a sign up the road: 1/4 mile, Gas Station, Coffee Mug Diner. "Unless fate wants you to go to Coffee Mug Diner for help, I'd chalk it up to accidents happen. I'll get a tyre, you get a coffee."
Emma nodded in agreement and they walked the quarter mile in silence, both mulling over what had happened. Regina had to admit to herself, it was curious. Wolves seemed to be a running theme where fate was concerned and it had her wondering whether this one was really an accident or not.
They were both unhappy to find that the diner was closed when they reached it. It was only then that they realised how late it was, the moon already high in the sky. They went to check if the gas station was open despite the late hour and weren't surprised to find it closed down for the night as well.
"You girls okay?" A gruff voice asked from behind them and they spun around to see an old man with a scruffy, grey beard and bald head limping towards them.
"Not really, no." Regina answered. "We've got a flat and no way to change it."
"Ah, yeah, everywhere's closed for the night. You got somewhere to stay?"
"We'll probably just sleep in the car." Emma said, prompting a frown from Regina.
"Two lovely ladies such as yourselves are more than welcome to stay at mine for the night, if you want?" He asked, leering a little.
"Uh, no thank you. We wouldn't want to intrude." Emma said, politely as she could muster.
"Fair enough." He sighed, hands on his belt. "Well, there's always the motel up the road, just around those trees." He said, pointing behind them.
"Perfect." Regina smiled, eager to get away. "Thanks, we should probably get going before it gets any later."
"Sure," the old man nodded, "See you around."
"I'll be quite happy if we never see him again." Regina muttered as they turned their backs and began the walk down the road.
The motel wasn't great looking but compared to Robin's and Lily's ex-apartment it was luxury. Well-cleaned, grounds maintained and, they were pleased to find, clean bed sheets and a sparkling bathroom. The only room left had been a couple's room with a double bed, but neither of them were complaining seeing as that was how they'd spent the last few nights anyway.
Emma perched on the end of the bed and switched on the small TV in the corner of the room. There was only a small number of channels and they eventually settled on cartoons. Tom and Jerry was about all Emma could be bothered for after the day they'd had and Regina didn't complain.
Emma groaned as she sat back on the pillows. This whole idea was turning into a nightmare. Lily was an essential part of their plan, necessary if they were going to write their own endings before Gold could interfere. Not to mention, Maleficent deserved her daughter back after what Emma's parents put her through and Lily deserved her mother. Snow and Charming had essentially done to Maleficent exactly what had been done to them.
Regina, who'd been sat in the armchair to the side of the bed, must have dozed off because Emma's attention was yanked from her thoughts by soft whimpers. She looked to the brunette, whose face suggested she was in the middle of a nightmare, her head tossing from side to side as she avoided something Emma couldn't see. For a while, she just watched, hoping that the nightmare would come and go, but when Regina started to mutter "No" and "Please", Emma had had enough. She loudly walked over to the sleeping woman and shook her gently by the shoulders, "Regina? Regina, wake up."
"Wha- What happened?" Regina stammered as she gasped awake, eyes darting about the room as she tried to remember where she was.
"Nightmare?" Emma asked.
Regina looked at her questioningly.
"You were talking in your sleep." Emma explained. "More like whimpering, really. You have nightmares a lot?"
The brunette sighed. "I used to. It seems Robin has succeeded in bringing them back after his stunt the other night."
"You wanna talk about it?"
"I fail to see how talking about it will make it any better." Regina muttered.
"You never know. Sometimes it helps to talk to someone who understands."
Regina scoffed. "No offence, Miss Swan, but I doubt you'd understand my nightmares," she said dismissively, "and you should thank your stars for that."
"How are you so sure?" Emma asked.
Regina looked back at her, eyes curious.
"I grew up in the system, Regina. I've been through a lot of crap."
"Honestly, I don't know all that much about the system." Regina admitted.
"It just meant that I grew up being passed from family to family," Emma explained, "and let's just say that not all of the so-called 'parents' that I lived with had good intentions."
The implication of Emma's words was clear and Regina's face dropped with the realisation of what the blonde might have been through. "Emma, I'm so sorry. Really and truly. What I did-"
"Hey," Emma interrupted, "you weren't in your right mind when you cast the curse. You were a victim, manipulated by the people in your life who were supposed to care for you. In my opinion, the curse was their doing, not yours."
Regina smiled but it didn't reach her eyes. "I should have been stronger. I had the power to escape everything, to turn away from the darkness. The day I pushed my mother through the looking-glass, the day of my wedding, I tried to run. I was going to leave everything behind me and never look back, start a different life somewhere new."
Emma dared not move, so shocked that Regina seemed to finally be opening up that she was terrified she would do something to stop her if she wasn't careful.
"I was nearly out, nearly free," Regina continued, "when Rumplestiltskin blocked my path. He convinced me to stay, to willingly return to my own doom. Whatever Leopold did to me after that, after I made the choice to go back, it was my own fault. All the evil deeds I committed… It all could have been avoided if I had been stronger, if I hadn't let him sway me."
"That's bullshit."
Regina looked up in shock, "Excuse me?"
"You heard me. That's bullshit." Emma said, clearer this time. "How old were you, Regina? The day that happened?"
"I was eighteen."
"You were a kid!" Emma exclaimed, angrily. "Rumplestiltskin knew exactly what he needed to do and say to get you to do his bidding and that is not your fault. You were systematically broken down until you were nothing but clay ready to be moulded into whatever he wanted and you didn't stand a chance against him. An eighteen year old girl, up against the most powerful sorcerer of that time? How could you possibly have stood up to him? "
Regina was stunned into silence.
"Look how far you've come," Emma continued, "the torture you withstood to defy Gold just a few days ago. You're, by far, the strongest person I've ever known. You didn't deserve the shit that you were put through, no one deserves that. But you came out the other side. Look at you now, still fighting against the darkness every day. I don't know anybody else who could have done what you've done. You should be applauding, not blaming yourself."
Regina only realised she was crying when a tear dropped onto the hand in her lap and she quickly wiped at the damp around her eyes.
"Your mother forced you into marriage, Rumplestiltskin manipulated you into staying there, ensuring you were broken down enough to let the darkness in, and I'm assuming that Leopold must have been one hell of a bastard for Rumple to want to keep you there. I bet that putting you through a nightmare of a marriage was part of his plan to wear you down, make you feel like you had no one. I mean, how old was he? Fifty? Sixty? Any old man wanting to marry a young girl, particularly one who wasn't willing, must have been sick in the head. I don't care what Snow says, frankly I never believed a good word she said about him."
Regina let out a humourless chuckle. "Sick in the head is certainly an accurate description."
"They were the real monsters, Regina, not you. Never you." Emma reached out and held Regina's hand tightly in her own. "You don't need to carry all of your baggage alone anymore. Talk to me. Please. Let me take some of the load."
When Regina next locked eyes with her, something passed between them. A connection of sorts, that sent shivers down both of their spines. In that moment, Regina didn't feel alone for the first time in many years. Her eyes glistened.
"He made me feel worthless." She said, finally, holding Emma's gaze with a trust she didn't know she was still capable of. "Like I was as worthless as the dirt on his shoes. In Leopold's mind, the priorities were Snow, himself, the entire Kingdom and then me. I was happiest when he left me alone, because if he was paying attention to me, it was never a good thing. He was a monster. Snow would never believe it."
"Do you think she ever suspected?" Emma asked.
"Your mother's optimism may have a number of uses, but it also means that she sees only what she wants to see, even when proof of the opposite is right in front of her." Regina mused, half to herself. "She must have thought me incredibly clumsy, always falling down the stairs or off of Rocinante. How she could believe that those accidents resulted in black eyes and finger-shaped bruises all over my body, I'll never know."
Emma winced, hating that she could share DNA with such a vile person. She clenched her fists.
"It's lonely," Emma found herself saying, "because no matter how many people you have around you, no one understands the side of you that they create. The abusers, I mean. It's like they steal a bit of your soul and replace it with darkness; just bitterness, anger and resentment. It works to their advantage, makes you push people away, keeping everyone unaware of what's really going on.
"I spent my fair share of time with rapists, drunks…" Emma continued. "I understand the mark that they leave on you. The mark that never really goes away. The only thing that ever helped me was speaking to Lily. She told me she'd been through much of the same stuff, and talking about it to someone who I thought understood, helped. Like it took some of the weight off of my own shoulders."
"Someone who you thought understood?" Regina repeated, questioningly.
"She was lying. About everything." Emma stated, eyes staring blankly ahead. "At the time, I was so mad. She was the only person who I could trust and the entire time she was putting on a show. I think I can understand now. She was lonely, desperate for a friend, and she thought that it would bring us closer, but I couldn't forgive her, not at the time. It just hurt too much. It made me feel unlovable."
Before she was aware of her actions, Regina had leant forward, her hand reaching out on its own accord to cup Emma's cheek, causing the blonde's eyes to snap to her own at the touch. With her other hand she twirled some of the blonde locks that sat on her shoulder, eyes darting between pink lips and green eyes. All she knew in that surreal moment, was that she wanted to prove Emma wrong, because she was. So wrong.
Without another thought, she leant in, lips parted and Emma moved forward to meet her halfway. Their lips collided, as though gravity had pulled them together. Their tongues met in Emma's mouth, swirling and tasting and Regina's hands were immediately at Emma's top, pulling it roughly upward, desperate to touch skin. With the same urgency, Emma helped her remove it and then started to work on Regina's, ripping the thin material up the side as she pulled it from her. Seconds later, both skirts were also piled on the floor in a heap and they stood inches apart, clothed only in their underwear. With hands still wrapped in each other's hair, they each glanced down, admiring what was laid bare in front of them.
"You're beautiful." Regina whispered as she gazed over Emma's small, perk breasts and toned stomach. A number of scars littered her lower abdomen and she let her fingers wander over them in a light caress. She wanted to kiss them, to show Emma that she meant what she'd said. She was beautiful, scars and all, and not at all unlovable.
Before she could do so, Emma pulled her in to claim her mouth once again, this time with more ferocity. She bit lightly at Regina's bottom lip and pulled, forcing a groan from the brunette as she moved her hands around her back to unclasp her bra, freeing her rounded, firm breasts. Unable to help herself, Emma dove to them, tongue dragging along the swell of one as she held the weight of the other in her hand. Regina gasped at the sensation and fisted her hand in Emma's hair, pulling her closer.
"You're beautiful." Emma hummed against her breast as she moved to take a nipple lightly between her teeth, tongue darting between to lick it.
Regina was on cloud nine, feeling sensations that she hadn't in years at such a heightened level that she wondered if Emma could make her cum just by touching her breasts. She couldn't stop the moans which left her lips, animalistic and bursting with need.
Emma tried to take her time, to go slow, but it was an impossible feat. Regina's breasts felt so right in her hand, a perfect fit, even more so in her mouth and she found herself wanting to devour every inch of the brunette's body.
"Emma, I want to feel you." Regina breathed, hand going to Emma's back, snapping open her bra so that both of them were bare from the waist up.
Emma reluctantly pulled her mouth from Regina's nipple and nuzzled into her neck instead, sucking at her pulse point as their chests met. The feeling of Regina's breasts pressed up against her own took her breath away and she tried to hold the brunette impossibly closer, sensitive, erect nipples rubbing against each other as she kissed her.
All that they knew as they devoured one another, was that they needed this. Each as much as the other. But it wasn't just the release of built-up tension; there was something else, something between them that neither could name. Whilst Emma continued to suck at her neck, Regina realised that this had always been inevitable, her feelings suddenly clear to her as she finally understood what had been going on in her mind. She had fallen for this woman; her son's other mother, the Saviour to her Evil Queen, and it was messy and it was insane but it was just right.
Regina hooked her fingers in the waistband of Emma's panties and the blonde followed suit. A moment later they were tumbling onto the bed, naked in each other's arms, hands wandering over feverish flesh. Regina rolled them over, desperate to make Emma feel the euphoria that was taking her own breath away. With one last kiss on the blonde's lips, she lowered herself until she was knelt between her legs. For a moment, she let herself breathe in the sight. Emma was damp with sweat, a look of urgency and bliss on her face, legs open and inviting and Regina couldn't wait a second longer. She leant in and licked the length of Emma's core in one, rough motion, causing the blonde to let out a breathy moan, legs shaking.
"Oh my God." Emma gasped. She wasn't sure what was arousing her more; the sensation of Regina's tongue between her legs or the sight in front of her.
Regina grinned wolfishly and dove forward once again, burying her face in Emma's cunt. She tasted deliciously sweet and was becoming wetter by the minute, soaking Regina's lips. Her tongue swiped circles on Emma's clit, occasionally diving inside, each time eliciting louder and breathier moans from the younger woman.
"Fuck me, Regina." She gasped between breaths. "I need you to fuck me."
Regina was all too happy to comply, thrusting two fingers into Emma's wet core. They went in easy, meeting no resistance from the excited blonde and she swiftly set a fast pace as her tongue continued to lap over her bundle of nerves.
"God," Emma groaned, "Regina, that feels- Oh God…"
Regina hooked her fingers at just the right angle, knocking against that special spot before adding a third finger.
Emma's hands went to her own breasts, a motion she didn't even think through. Regina was making her feel more aroused than she'd ever been, more than she had even in her recent dreams, and it felt like she was going crazy, completely letting loose.
Regina continued to pound her fingers into her, gradually quickening the pace and delving deeper and it wasn't long before Emma felt her release within grasp. She moaned as her legs began to shake.
"Cum for me, Emma." Regina said in that husky voice that had always been such a turn on and Emma didn't know if it was her fingers, her tongue, her voice or simply hearing the brunette say her name, but suddenly she was gone. Lost in a pleasure so great that white spots danced in her vision. Regina continued to thrust as she rode through her orgasm and when it finally passed and she glanced down to see Regina smiling at her from between her thighs, lips damp with her own wetness, she decided she'd never been happier than she was in that moment.
"I believe it's your turn, your Majesty." She breathed as she sat up slowly, worried that if she moved too quickly the dizziness would overtake her.
Regina grinned in anticipation and then Emma was pushing her off the bed and to her feet, quickly dropping to her knees before her. The brunette staggered back and had to grip the edge of the chest of drawers when Emma's tongue expertly found her clit in no time, sending waves of pleasure emanating from her core. Emma couldn't contain herself. Her tongue moved wildly, causing Regina to grip the back of her head with one hand and hold her tight, desperate to keep her there, not that Emma was planning on moving away anytime soon.
When Emma slipped a finger into her, the brunette moaned so loudly that Emma was sure the people in the next room must have heard. But that thought only spurred her on. Regina was dripping wet and Emma didn't hesitate before adding two more fingers, pushing hard and deep against the spot that was driving Regina insane.
"More, Emma." She moaned. "I want more."
Emma wasn't sure what inspired her next move, but she was more than sure of what she wanted to do. She rose to her feet, ignoring Regina's whimper as she slipped her fingers out of her and without a word of explanation, she spun the brunette around.
"Grip the chest." She ordered.
Regina obediently did as Emma asked as she bent over the chest of drawers, looking back over her shoulder with excited curiosity. The sight was almost too much and Emma gasped at the tingling sensation in her lower stomach. Regina's ass was jutted out, her hair tossed over one shoulder as she gazed at the blonde with wide eyes, eager for what was coming next. Emma gently ran her hands over the swell of her ass.
"Please." The brunette whimpered and that was all the encouragement Emma needed.
Her hand immediately returned to where it had last been, three fingers swiftly entering Regina's cunt, causing the older woman to gasp and buck against her. Emma's other hand went around the brunette, wrapping around her breast and squeezing it roughly as her thump swiped over an erect nipple.
"Another finger, Emma." She moaned.
The blonde tucked her pinky into her hand and thrust it forward, gasping as she watched her four fingers disappearing inside. Regina breathed in sharply and she paused, "Are you sure this is okay?"
Regina shuddered. "It's amazing, just give me a minute."
Emma stilled her fingers, but continued to gently palm her breast in her other hand until Regina sighed, "Fuck me."
Though still weary of hurting the brunette, Emma did as she was told. When Regina let out a long, breathy moan, her doubts were wiped away and the urgency returned. She roughly thrust her hand into her wet cunt, shivering as she felt Regina's walls clamping around her fingers.
"Gods…." Regina gasped, her voice breaking as she tried to catch her breath, thrown off with each pounding of Emma's fingers.
Emma couldn't help herself, she removed her hand from the brunette's breast and entangled it in her hair, pulling her body upright, tight against her own, as she continued to fuck her. Yanking her head back, so she could watch Regina's face, Emma tried to remember this moment exactly as it was. The brunette's eyes were glazed over with pleasure, her words coming out in breathy gasps. "Uh, I'm- I'm going to-"
"Let go," Emma told her, "Let yourself lose control. I want to watch your face as you cum around my fingers."
Regina turned her head slightly so she could lock eyes with the blonde, her moaning becoming louder with each thrust of Emma's hand. When Emma brought her thumb around to flick at her clit, she lost it. Her knees buckled but Emma held her tight, keeping her standing. Their eyes remained locked, Emma watching intently as pleasure took over the former Evil Queen's body.
When Regina actually screamed, Emma's own knees buckled and she took a step backward, trying to steady herself, but with her hands busy devouring the brunette, she lost her balance entirely and toppled backwards onto the bed, Regina on top of her, cunt still filled with Emma's fingers.
"Oh. My. God." Regina exclaimed as Emma slipped her fingers from her.
"Yeah." Emma muttered the only word she could muster in that moment.
Regina rolled off the younger woman so they were laying side by side. "That was…"
"The best sex I've ever had." Emma finished for her.
"Indeed."