A/N: A Gruvia angst-ridden songfic for Lady Anime Cat. This is set after Tartarus and before Fairy Tail goes to war. The guild is all together again.
The song is Sooner or Later by Mat Kearney. It's amazing.
All rights to Hiro Mashima and Mat Kearney.
We're all standing with our backs against the wall
Sooner or later
Waiting on a phone that never calls, at all
Heartbreak comes, rollin in like a storm
Sooner or Later
Trying to swim but you're sinking like a stone, alone
Juvia stared out the windows of her rooms in Fairy Hills. Clouds coloured the sky grey and rain flecked her window. It was a stormy day and the rain called to Juvia. But Juvia had learned to ignore the call long ago. She was part of Fairy Tail and it wouldn't do to be seen revelling in the gloomy rain when she was supposed to be sunny and cheerful. But, oh, how it called.
Juvia hated the days when rain fell because all it did was remind her of what she had lost. Of course she had gained so much more, but some days the losses were overwhelming. One such day was today.
Juvia was staring out at the rain, unsure if she had caused it or not because its pull was stronger than it had ever been since the sky cleared above her for the first time. It probably was her fault today.
'Thank you. Thanks to you I can finally go to Heaven.'
Juvia sniffled as she remembered his words once more. The words of Silver Fullbuster as she had caused his death. As she had killed him.
'I leave Gray to you.'
She was supposed to be helping Gray. She had been his support for so long now though. She had confessed her crimes to him and he had only thanked her. She had stayed by him, kept him fed and watered, and supported emotionally.
'Thank you….You're warm….'
Juvia shook with suppressed tears as she stared out through the rain streaked window pane. Maybe she really wasn't good for Gray. Maybe she really did have no right to love him.
In her daze, Juvia drifted outside and into the rain. It soaked into her skin, reviving her. She felt alive again with the rain pounding right into her body. It was as it had always been, cold and wet, but not unpleasant. She tried to deny the pleasure it gave her to absorb fresh water as her grief and guilt swallowed her, but there was no hiding from the rain once you were in it.
Juvia drifted through the curtains of rain to the little rope swing hung from the large magnolia tree growing behind the Fairy Hills. She sank into the seat and stared up at the clouds, letting the tears rain down her face and memories swallow her up.
And I can feel fire in the night
Waiting here
Baby it's like we're
Walking on a wire thru the fear
Take my hand
We'll get there
Gray stared out at the night, fingering the scarf on his lap. Juvia had knitted it and tried to give it to him on their 413th day anniversary of the day they met. Gray remembered that day vividly. She had come to him with the scarf and another confession. He had rejected her so rudely because it was Ur's death anniversary, but in the end he had searched for the scarf and kept it.
'It's a handknit scarf. Please accept it.'
'Good night…. I am an ice wizard. Cold doesn't bother me…. Maybe some other time.'
Gray watched the rain with worry in his eyes. Even though it had been years since Juvia had left Phantom Lord and stopped making it rain everywhere she went, Gray could see that rain still made her feel down. He wondered how she felt tonight with the rain coming down so heavily. Probably depressed, but there was nothing he could do about it, right?
A familiar magic power filled the air momentarily, knocking Gray out of his thoughts. It was Juvia's power. After training with her for so many months he would recognize it anywhere. Suddenly in a rush to find the girl and do something, anything to stop the tears that were most assuredly running down her face in rivers. Gray pulled on his boots and threw the scarf around his neck before rushing out of the house.
Gray sprinted towards Fairy Hills and the rope swing in the back. He knew that was where Juvia probably was if she was causing this monstrous storm. He flew down the streets and careened around corners until finally he saw Fairy Hills.
Sooner or later I swear we're gonna make it, we're gonna make it,
Sooner or later I swear we're gonna make it, we're gonna make it
Milk and honey till we get our fill
I'll keep chasing it I always will
Sooner or later I swear
We'll make it there
Sooner than later
Juvia looked over when she heard pounding footsteps. A figure with black hair and a gray scarf was barreling right towards her. But Juvia was so lost in her sorrow, memories, and the rain that she did not realize who it was. The figure stopped in front of her, panting. It was then that Juvia finally realized who exactly was standing in front of her. Who had coming for her in the gloomy rain.
"Juvia? Are you alright?" It was Gray.
She stared at him, eyes still full of tears. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she whispered.
"What?" Gray asked coming even closer.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Juvia chanted senselessly. She reached out and groped mindlessly at his jacket.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Juvia cried in a desperate tone now. It was playing over and over in her head.
'Thank you… Thanks to you I can finally go to Heaven.'
'Thank you… You're warm.'
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Juvia cried, the tears spilling out of her eyes and rushing down her cheeks, mingling with the raindrops born of her grief.
Gray stared at the girl in front of him in shock. He had been so wrapped up in his own feelings for so long that he had forgotten about the feelings of others, especially those of the girl in front of him. What really got to him though were the desperate pleas and the wild, untamed grief in her eyes. Clearly things had been building in her for a long, long time. Maybe since the day the two of them first met.
"It's alright," Gray finally said, stooping over to hug to rainwoman, "it's alright, I forgive you. I promise."
We're all waiting on dream that's hard to own, Sooner or later
Trying to feel the high without the low, you know
Juvia sobbed even harder at his words, but her pleas of forgiveness had stopped and the rain had lightened slightly. It had been so long since Juvia had let her feelings go like this and actually had someone around to help her with that aftermath that she wasn't even sure she could pull up a specific memory. It was nice.
Gray did not say a word beyond forgiving Juvia. He knew from experience that when the grief of someone was this great, there were no words of consolation. Only the presence of another who knew your suffering intimately or whom you loved greatly could provide even the slightest bit of shelter. Seeing as Gray both knew Juvia's suffering and was loved by her, he figured the comfort she received from him would be double that which most anyone else could give her.
Juvia sat and Gray stood in the downpour of Juvia's grief for a long, long time. By the time the clouds finally cleared, the sun was setting. Juvia's grief had spent itself, but Gray was sure that if the rainwoman did not talk about it to anyone, it would surface again. So when he pulled back, instead of helping Juvia to stand, Gray merely sat down on the wet grass and leaned against the tree's trunk. Juvia looked at him in confusion.
"We're going to talk," he said simply.
Juvia shook her head. "It's fine. Juvia is fine," the girl denied.
"No, you're not," Gray said, looking to the sky, "I should know."
Juvia's cheeks turned slightly pink in what Gray took to be shame. "I am very sorry," Juvia's voice was soft and trembled slightly as she spoke, miraculously in first person, "I was not thinking."
"It's not your fault that Ur, Ultear, and my father are dead," Gray replied, trying not to wince as he said their names.
"It is my fault that your father is dead. I killed the necromancer," Juvia argued, "even though I knew what was going to happen, I still killed him, and your father!"
"Yes, you did beat the necromancer. The necromancer dying caused my already-dead-reanimated-dying corpse of my father to disappear all the more quickly," Gray told her, "he was dying from my final attack of our battle and living as a corpse for seventeen years."
"He could have healed and survived," Juvia said, tears filling her eyes again.
"And how many would have died had you not ended the life of the necromancer?" Gray asked her furiously, "magic would have been eliminated! Lucy would have died! Natsu would have died! Gajeel would have died! You would have died! You all would have died! And then your corpses would kill the rest of us! So thank you for defeating that evil man! Thank you for ending the life of a man who should have gone to heaven long ago!"
You can feel fire in the night
Lying here
Baby it's like we're
Walking on a wire thru the fear
Take my hand
We'll get there
'Thanks to you I can finally go to Heaven.'
Juvia stared at the man in front of her, seeing a different scene in a different time and similar words spoken by a different man. Her eyes filled with tears once more. A warning grumble of thunder sounded far off signaling the change in Juvia's mood.
"Come here," Gray said gruffly, gesturing her towards him as a few tears spilled out of Juvia's eyes. She came obediently. Gray pulled her down swiftly into his lap and his arms. He hugged her close.
"Thank you," he breathed in her ear, his own tears welling up, "Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you." He repeated the phrase over and over like a mantra.
The fear inside
The hills we've climbed
The tears this side of heaven
All these dreams inside of me
I swear we're gonna get there
"It'll get better," Gray whispered in the Juvia's ear as she clung to him, sobbing once more, "I promise the pain will go away. I swear."
As he said the words aloud, he realized just how true they were, for the death of Ur and Ultear no longer stung like bullets. In fact, a sense of peace washed over him as he realized that he had been living his life to the fullest and doing the best he could to honor the memories of the two wizards who had died to save him and his family.
Soon the pain from the death of his father would fade too, both from his heart and from Juvia's. Occasionally it would sting and painful memories would be stirred up again, but time heals wounds and this one was no different. A few tears spilled out from his own eyes and soon the two of them were sitting there tears spilling down their faces; one, silent; the other, screaming.
"I promise."
A/N: And there you have it. My terrible attempt at an angsty Gruvia songfic. Although the song really does fit…
Any more requests/suggestions let me know.
Thanks for reading!
Artistofthemind