JAG Headquarters

Falls Church, Virginia

December 6, 2005

0800 Hours

Mac was sitting in her office. She had gotten in really early to avoid everyone and was busy pretending to read a file, when there was a slight knock on her door before it was opened a little bit and Cole stuck his head in.

"Is it safe to come in?" he said with a smile. She nodded and waved him in while getting up. She then walked over and when he had closed the door she put her hands around his neck and drew him in for a passionate kiss. He responded and slid his arms around her waist, lifting her up. When they parted and he had put her back down he asked what that had been for.

"Just a thank you for being you." She smiled. She felt much better today.

"You okay? I mean, if you need time to figure things out I completely understand."

"No, I'm fine, there is nothing to figure out. Everything is good." Cole eyed her suspiciously.

"What about Rabb?"

"Commander Rabb is just another colleague. I do admit, I was quite surprised to see him again, but whatever happened is in the past, over and done with." Cole gave her the same suspicious look as before, but then relented.

"Okay, if you say so, Colonel." He gave her a broad smile, which was reciprocated.

"That I do, Commander." She decided to change the subject completely, or so she thought. "What are you up to today?"

"I've still got a few more cases to go over with Commander Rabb." He winced inwardly, but she didn't flinch.

"Okay, want to meet for lunch?" She walked around her desk to where her calendar was lying and opened it up, looking at today's date "Around 1300, perhaps?"

"Sure." He leaned over her desk and kissed her again. "See you then. Love you, MacKenzie." She looked up and smiled, but this smile didn't quite reach her eyes and Cole noticed.

"Right back at you, Sailor." Cole left her office, leaving the door open and bumped into Harm in the bullpen.

"Good morning, Commander."

"Andrews, yes, good morning." He smiled a smile he hoped looked sincere. There wasn't actually anything wrong with the guy except that he was dating Mac. "Call me Harm, though." Cole nodded "Okay, Harm, how about I meet you in the conference room in..." he looked at his watch "10 minutes and we can get the rest of the cases out of the way?"

"Sounds good." Harm smiled again and when Cole left he looked over at Mac's office. The door was open. He took a deep breath, walked over and knocked on the doorframe. Mac looked up from the file she was reading.

"Good morning. What can I do for you?" Mac was determined to keep things friendly. She had thought long and hard about things last night and obviously Harm couldn't be trusted with her heart so she was going to pack all of her feelings neatly into a little box and tuck them far away. She didn't want to bring any drama to the office so she was damn well going to act professional. Harm was clearly taken aback by her friendly tone, but quickly tried to mask his surprise.

"I just wanted to apologize for last night. I was…" Mac stood and waved him off before he could finish.

"Come in, close the door and have a seat, Harm." Harm did as instructed, but remained standing, his arms crossed over his chest.

"You asked me yesterday if you still had a chance. You do. I want to be friends again. I've missed you. I want our friendship back. So what I am offering is a chance to rebuild our friendship."

"And what if I want more than a friendship?"

"You can't have more. Take it or leave it." She sat back down. Harm uncrossed his arms and nodded.

"Okay. I'll take what I can get. So how do we do that?"

"We pretend the last two years never happened. You were gone, you came back, easy as that and we try to go back to the way things were once. No pressure and no expectations, we just let things develop."

"Okay, I can do that."

"Good."

"Hug?" He opened his arms to her like he had done the night before and she got up and stepped into his embrace, hugging him back. When they parted a little later than they should have, Harm looked at her and brought his hand up to caress her cheek.

"I still love you, though." He whispered and she sighed and brought her hand up to intertwine with his.

"I know." Then he dropped his hand, turned and walked out of her office. Once he was out of earshot, she whispered sadly "I love you too."

Harm walked down the hall and into the conference room where Cole was already sitting, a stack of files spread out in front of him. Harm took a seat opposite him and Cole looked up at him.

"Right, we've only got a few to go so let's start with the McMiller court martial" he said and opened another file.

"I love her, you know. Mac, I mean" Harm blurted out. Cole sighed, moved the file across and folded his hands on top of the table.

"I know who you mean. And how does she feel about you?"

"I don't know. She wants to be friends again." In the back of his mind Harm thought it slightly odd to sit there and talk to a stranger about Mac – and even more odd when that stranger was her current boyfriend – but he just couldn't stop himself.

"She loves you, you know?"

Cole nodded and smiled "Yes, I know. How do you know, though? I drove Sarah home after the staff meeting yesterday and I know you didn't speak to her then. I was with you all day and we left at the same time." 'Ugh', Harm thought 'this could get sticky.'

"I uh, I went to her place last night. Uninvited, I might add, she didn't invite me over or anything. In fact I was pretty sure she was going to hit me when I showed up." He laughed nervously under the scrutiny of the man across from him.

"I see. Look, Harm, I don't know what happened between the two of you. Sarah has told me some, but not everything, but I do know that things didn't go as planned and she has spent a long time trying to get over you and quite frankly, I'm not even sure she is fully there yet. As much as I'd like to, I can't tell you to back off, because that's not my choice to make just like you can't make Sarah love you again. Only she can decide what to do. She wants you to be friends again? Good. She has missed you and she has always said that before you two messed everything up, you were best friends. Honestly she needs a little sunshine in her life. Just make sure you bring the sun and not the rain. Do what you need to, see if you can get you friendship back, but don't pressure her and don't hurt her. Understood?"

Harm nodded. This guy really loves her. Who was he to come back into her life and try to take her happiness away from her? The same happiness he himself had denied her two long years ago. He had had his chance and now he was going to be content to just be her friend.

They worked until 12.45 and then Cole looked at his watch, stood up and started gathering his papers. "I promised Sarah I'd meet her for lunch and then I've got court." He turned to leave, but then he took a deep breath and looked back at Harm "Look, why don't you come over to Sarah's tonight around 1800 – we'll cook dinner and talk, the three of us, alright?"

"I don't know if that's a good idea…"

"Sure it is, don't be silly. We'll see you tonight." He smiled and walked out to the door to go meet Mac for lunch.

Mac's Apartment

Georgetown

Washington, D.C.

1755 Hours

Harm walked down the hallway like he had done so many times before, only now it felt strange and foreign. He really didn't want to be here.

As he neared her apartment he noticed that the door was open and warm light was spilling out into the dark hallway along with a very delicious aroma. He could hear soft music and laughter coming from inside. He reached the door and just stood in the doorway, taking in the scene. Mac was wearing an apron and she was laughing, a wonderful laughter that came from her belly and oozed out like liquid gold, while she was fanning away at a pot with a dishtowel.

Cole was laughing too as he took the pot and put it in the sink and poured water on it. He then turned back to Mac and put his arms around her waist from behind and started tickling her. She laughed even harder and then the tickling subsided and was replaced with little kisses on her neck. She leaned into him and put her hands over his.

'I shouldn't be here' Harm thought, but just as he turned to leave, Cole turned them around and spotted him.

"Rabb! Come on in" he laughed and let go of Mac, walking over to Harm and shaking his hand. "You are just in time." Harm smiled uncomfortably and Mac came over and gave him a somewhat rather awkward hug.

"Hey…" she smiled. She had taken her apron off and looked amazing in tight fitting jeans and a red sweater. Cole was wearing dark blue jeans and a white shirt with a light blue sweater on top and bare feet. He was a handsome guy, Harm could definitely see what Mac saw in him. Mac on the other hand was looking Harm over. He too looked quite smashing in jeans and a plain white t-shirt.

"Hey, yourself." They stood there looking at each other for a while, while Cole changed the music from 30 Seconds to Mars to The Cranberries. He then put his hands together and said "Right, people, let's eat." He took a seat at the end of the table and Harm and Mac sat down on opposite sides of him. There was oven baked salmon with salad, veggies and garlic bread. It looked delicious and Harm let them know.

"Yea well, there was going to be fried mushrooms as well, but you know Sarah's cooking can be a bit…" Cole trailed off and made a face that said 'yikes!' Harm laughed and Mac playfully swatted Cole. "Don't get cute, Squid." She laughed, but Harm froze. That's what she used to call him. They all started dishing stuff onto their plates and had just begun eating when Cole put his fork down.

"Right, so the main reason I invited you over tonight, Harm, was so that we could talk." Harm gulped, but Cole continued "You guys used to be best friends, what the hell happened?" He looked from Harm to Mac and back again, but they were both busy inspecting the food on their plates.

"Right, never mind, bottom line is, Harm you left and broke Sarah's heart in the process. Neither of you have had the guts to contact each other in two years and then suddenly, boom, here you are, Harm, back in our lives, wrecking havoc. Now, you might think that this is a little odd coming from me, but I have an interest in you two sorting things out." He took a hold of Mac's hand and looked her in the eyes. "I love this woman and if she will let me, I will continue to love her for the rest of my life, but…" And then he looked over at Harm with a stern look "I can't do that unless you two figure out what is going on between you. I want you to resolve things and either you get together – and STAY together – or you go back to being friends or you cut ties completely and never bother each other again. Either way I want you to make a decision and stick to it. That way we can all move on. This isn't high school, people, and I'm not going to be part of some love triangle."

Harm and Mac looked like two little kids being scolded by their father. "So…" Cole got up from the table and grabbed his plate "what I'm going to do, is I'm going to take this delicious food home with me and then you two are going to stay here and talk things out and I don't want to hear from either of you until you have done so." He started walking towards the door and Mac got up and followed him, stopping him before he could leave.

"Cole, what are you doing?" she whispered so Harm couldn't hear. Cole cupped her face with his free hand.

"I love you, Sarah, but your mind is all over the place and all three of us deserve better than that. So stay here and talk it out and no matter what you decide, I will always love you." He kissed her passionately on the lips.

"Even if I leave you?"

"Yes. But if you do that is it. No running back and forth, you make a decision and you stick to it." He kissed her again. "I'll see you tomorrow." And then he left, leaving a very confused marine standing in the doorway.

Mac walked back to the table and sat down again, awkward silence filling the room. Finally Harm broke it.

"He's probably going to make JAG one day with that command presence." Harm noted and Mac laughed a little and looked up.

"Yeah, he's on the fast track alright." Harm looked her in the eyes and asked the same question that he had asked the night before.

"Do you love him?"

She nodded. "I do, I really do. The problem is that I love you too… It's just different" she replied silently and looked down again. Silence took over again, both lost in thought until Mac decided she needed to know some things.

"Where did you go?"

Harm sighed "I went wherever the Navy needed me. Iraq for a while and then Afghanistan. I was on the Patrick Henry for a few months, but my life was so messed up, I just needed time to think. I had thirty days of leave on the books and I took them and went to Europe of all places, huh. I travelled around for a couple of weeks and then I realized that I needed to come home, back to JAG and … back to you. I had of course heard that Chegwidden had retired so I knew it wasn't going to be easy, but somehow I managed to get back in. And now I'm here and I don't really have a plan." He smiled sheepishly. Silence overtook them until Mac broke it.

"What do you want?"

Harm sighed "I want a lot of things." Mac shook her head and was reminded of that night on the Admiral's porch.

"What do you want most?" She reached over and took his hand and he caressed her knuckles with his thumb.

"I want whatever you can give me. I love you."

Mac sat back in her chair and laughed lightly. "Alright, who are you and what have you done with Harmon Rabb? The Harm I know couldn't express his feelings if his life depended on it." Harm had a serious look on his face and his eyes were filled with sadness.

"A lot of things have changed over the past two years, Mac. I have changed." Mac nodded and pursed her lips.

"Like I said in my office this morning, I love Cole. I really want us to be friends again, can we do that? Just be like we used to?" Harm hung his head in sadness, but then looked up, Flyboy grin firmly in place.

"Yes. We can do that. I just want back in, Mac." Mac reached over again and squeezed his hand.

"Good. Now let's eat, I'm starving." Harm laughed and for the rest of the evening they actually managed to have a pleasant conversation. Mac filled him in on Chegwidden's retirement and General Creswell's appointment as JAG and Harm shared stories from his trip to Europe. They never once spoke about the events of their last night together however, just like neither mentioned the last investigation they conducted in the Catacombs.

After having cleaned up Mac walked Harm to the door. They had lit candles and the fire was burning and "Dreams" by the Cranberries were filling the room. They stood facing each other and they stood a lot closer than two friends would stand. Harm reached down and took Mac's hand. She turned hers a little bit so she could intertwine her fingers with his. She was acutely aware of his other hand resting on the small of her back, his fingers drawing little circles.

"I had a good time tonight, Mac." Mac just nodded, afraid to speak. She felt like her heart was going to explode. When Harm left this room, their fate was sealed. They would be friends and nothing more. She brought her free hand up to rest on his chest and he released her hand and started running his fingers gently up and down her arm, giving her goosebumps. Mac slowly lifted her head so that they were nose to nose, their lips barely touching. Slowly they inched closer until their lips met. The kiss was gentle and full of promises they knew they could never fulfill. Harm pressed against her lips and she opened her mouth, welcoming his tongue inside. The kiss deepened and they both poured as much passion into it as they could muster. Harm's hands slipped under her sweater and were caressing her back and Mac's went around his neck to deepen the kiss further. When they finally pulled apart they were breathing heavily. Neither let go of the other and, leaning their foreheads against each other, they tried to catch their breath. Harm finally pulled back a little, but still didn't let go. He looked her in the eyes and saw all the love in the world. He knew it was mirrored in his own.

"You said your love for Cole is different than your love for me – how so?" Mac sighed and tried to find the words to explain. After a little while she said:

"Cole makes me feel safe. I know without a doubt that he loves me and that he will always be here. He is an unwavering rock and my love for him is steady and secure. Maybe it doesn't have all the fire and passion of a great love story, but it's safe and gentle." She took a deep breath as she considered whether or not she should go on. "My love for you is fire and passion and an "end of life as we know it" kind of love. It's grand, it's butterflies in my stomach, it's wanting to be with you every minute of every hour of every day for the rest of our lives. It's feeling like me heart is going to explode when I see you and it's the tingling sensation I get when we touch. It's everything and always and it's a physical ache when we're apart. But it's also unstable, insecure and explosive and as we have determined before it will put us on the path of explosion and I can't live like that. Even if you are the greatest love of my life and there will never be anyone else like you." Tears were falling down her cheeks and when she looked at his face she saw that he was crying to. He leaned in and kissed her again and then pulled her close for a hug.

"I love you so much" he whispered in her ear, his warm breath tickling her ear, "more than anything in the whole world. You are the stars and the moon, you are my whole world and the reason I get up in the morning. I will love you forever." And with that he gave her a quick kiss on the forehead, walked out the door and shut it behind him.