If Things Were Different

Leafpool followed the cats gathering around the high ledge. She was hot with embarrassment and shame. She noticed Brambleclaw avoiding Squirrelflight and Squirrelflight trying to apologize. Leafpool was the very cause of the fight. Brambleclaw was angry at Squirrelflight for not telling him it wasn't his kits and that they were actually Crowfeather's and Leafpool's. Leafpool felt extremely guilty for causing her sister trouble, no, not just her sister, the whole clan.

She looked up as Firestar began to speak. "Leafpool, It is very sad to know you have disowned your clan. It is even sadder to know I have to banish my own daughter. Leafpool looked at him in shock. Did he say banish "When the sun rises you will be gone from Thunderclan, never to return!" Leafpool looked over at Squirrelflight in fear but all she could see was the anger in her eyes. But Sorreltail rain up and pressed her nose in Leafpool's fur. "I guess Sorreltail is the only friend I have…" Leafpool thought miserably.

"Leafpool, oh, Leafpool I'll miss you so much!" Sorreltail wailed. "You are my best friend why do you have to leave?" Sorreltail laid her tail on Leafpool's back comfortingly and led her to the warriors den. "You need some rest! Wait here I'll get you some fresh-kill!" And with that Sorreltail sprinted out of the den. Leafpool looked around the warriors den. She had never been there before and it felt quite cramped. Then she noticed Brambleclaw at the back of the den. His eyes were red with rage and he quickly looked away.

Leafpool began to wonder if things could be different. She wondered if maybe she just told the clan that she had kits then maybe they would forgive her or at least Squirrelflight and her kits would. Or maybe if she had stayed with Crowfeather then life would be different. But most of all she wondered what would have happened if she had never fallen in love with Crowfeather.

Sorreltail burst into the den with two plump mice. She set down one in front of Leafpool and then lay down beside her. Leafpool looked disgustingly at the mouse. She didn't really have an appetite after being banished from her clan, but she didn't want to hurt Sorreltail's feelings so she reluctantly ate the mouse.

Leafpool looked out into the night sky. The stars glimmered over her. Leafpool remembered that Starclan would probably never speak to her again. Leafpool padded out into the clearing. She noticed one other cat was awake. She quickly bounded over to the medicine cat den where Jayfeather was sorting through some herbs. Jayfeather sniffed the air and then looked over at Leafpool. He looked very displeased.

"What do you want?" He growled annoyingly. "" If you think I'm going to help you with your little problem it's not going to happen." He began to sort through the herbs once more.

"No, of course you wouldn't help me. Not after what I put you through, I just came to apologize." Jayfeather looked over at Leafpool, through gritted teeth he hissed, "You can't apologize for anything, I will never forgive you!" He lashed his tail and growled. For a second Leafpool was taken aback. But then she became calm again, "I understand, but I would still like to say something."

"No! I don't want to hear it!" Jayfeather yowled. He may have seemed angry but Leafpool could see sadness in his eyes. Leafpool smiled and headed toward the exit. She waved her tail and meowed, "Fine, fine if you don't want to hear it I guess I'll just go." Jayfeather bounded toward the exit and blocked Leafpool's. "I changed my mind I'll listen!" Jayfeather meowed embarrassed. Leafpool smiled and sat down next to Jayfeather.

"I just wanted to tell you thanks." Leafpool meowed sweetly. Jayfeather stared at her in shock. "For what?" he asked, "Just for being a great apprentice, and a great son." Leafpool purred. "I couldn't be happier with being your mentor. I'm going to miss you Jayfeather." Jayfeather looked at Leafpool and the pressed his nose into her fur and twined his tail with hers. "I'll miss you too Leafpool!" He stuttered. Leafpool bent down and licked his ear comfortingly.

When the first light showed Leafpool stood at the bramble exit. She looked at her clan watching her leave. Some of her clan mates were sad but some others were angry. "Bye..." She muttered so the clan couldn't hear her. She bounded through the bramble and into the open forest.

Leafpool stood at the edge of the stream between Windclan and Thunderclan. She wondered what to do next, but all she could think of was Crowfeather. She thought of his glistening black pelt and his bright green eyes. "Mabey," she thought, "he would run away with me?" But the thought quickly vanished from her head as she realized it was a stupid idea. "I already turned him down he will never run away with me knowing I rejected him!' Even so Leafpool still had a small amount of hope in her idea. "If I love him more than I love my own clan maybe he will feel the same for me?" With that thought in her head she jumped into the stream and swam across to the other side, Windclan.

Leafpool walked slowly toward the Rocks where Windclan was. The wind buffeted her fur. "What am I doing? Am I just going to walk straight into Windclan and take away Crowfeather?" She thought angrily to herself. She scented the air and noticed Windclan cats heading her way. Leafpool dove into the nearest bush and hoped they wouldn't notice her. When the Windclan cats walked past her she noticed that one was Crowfeather and another smaller cat who was probably an apprentice. "This is perfect!" Leafpool thought cheerfully. Crowfeather sat down barely even a mousetail away from where Leafpool was hiding. Leafpool noticed he was carrying prey which probably kept him from scenting her. Crowfeather put down his prey and meowed, "Scarletpaw I want you to try and catch another rabbit and then you can go back!" Scarletpaw hopped up and down excitedly and ran off. Crowfeather watched the apprentice leave and then turned around toward Leafpool's hiding spot. "You can come out now." Crowfeather meowed.

Leafpool, surprised, stood up. "How did you know I was here?" She meowed shakily. "You weren't even a foxtail away and your pelt was so obvious blending in with the bush. But that's not important, what are you doing here?" Leafpool shuffled her paws nervously. "How am I supposed to break the news to him that he's a father?" She stifled up the courage to gaze into his deep blue eyes. They warmed her heart and she so desperately wanted to press her muzzle up against his. But Leafpool new better and began to meow, "Well, it's kind of complicated. What I'm going to say may make you angry…" Crowfeather looked at her with a confused look, "We have three kits." Leafpool flinched expecting him to tear her to pieces. When she looked back up at him he was staring straight ahead, his jaws gaping open.

"You me-mean I'm a… father?" Crowfeather stuttered. "I'm afraid so." Leafpool responded, ashamed. "Are you angry?" She asked hoping he would say no. "Of course not!" Crowfeather meowed in excitement. He flew toward her and pressed up against her but quickly darted back. "Sorry, that was immature of me. You, I mean we, decided to end the relationship." Crowfeather said in a serious tone. Leafpool looked down and shuffled her paws. "But that's not how I truly feel!"Leafpool blurted out, immediately regretting the decision. Crowfeather bristled with anger, "Y-you can't do this Leafpool!" Outrage was in Crowfeathers eyes. But then his fur began to lie flat, "I'm sorry Leafpool..." He sighed and licked her ear lovingly. "Listen, Leafpool, I do still love you, but I have to stay loyal to my clan, to my family!" LEafpool could tell this wasn't how he really felt by the way he stuttered and shivered. Slowly, Crowfeather rouse from sitting and began to depart to the forest side of Windclan. "Where are we going?" Leafpool stuttered as she hobbled after him. "We need to find somewhere to discuss things."