"Hey, Romano, you ready to go?"
"Nnf." Romano rolled over and swatted at the stupid hand trying to shake him, still not opening his eyes. "Five more minutes... asshole."
"Come on, we gotta get a move on! The world isn't going to save itself."
"...what." Romano finally peeked an eye open and—shit! America!? And they were hanging out in some forest that had no color... Oh. Oh. That's right.
As Romano sat up and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, it all came back to him; being stuck with America, in some other world, where they had to bring back all the colors and shit... right.
After the meeting with King Fanny (pfft), Lu led the two nations out of the throne room to prepare them for their journey. She gave them a map indicating where all the crystals were, as well as some magic bag that was infinitely large on the inside. Of course, Romano insisted on being the one to hang on to those things; he didn't think America could carry them for more than two days without losing them.
After a moment, Romano spoke up again. "It's still hard to believe we're in some... some alternate world, or some shit like that."
"Yeah, I know... But you do believe it, right? I mean, just from—"
"Yes, bastard, I do believe it! Shit, you don't need to explain it all to me." Even without the lack of colors around them, and without the magical bag he was holding onto, Romano could still tell they were in a different world; deep down, it just didn't feel like they were on Earth anymore. As a nation, he could sense these things! And he was pretty sure that America, dense as he was, could also feel it.
"Just making sure, man!" America said, cutting into Romano's musings. "You didn't look too certain in the throne room back there."
"Shut the fuck up."
America waved it off with a hand. "Hey, whatever, it's all cool. Anyway, let's have a look at that map!"
Romano grumbled under his breath as he pulled out the map. He didn't like taking orders, especially from an idiot like America… but this was the sensible thing to do. By the time he had it unfolded, America just plopped on the ground next to him. And... their shoulders were touching. Romano could feel warmth shoot up his spine, and come on, quit it already! Shit, he didn't want to deal with this the whole time he'd be stuck here with this moron!
America's hand suddenly shot across his vision, pointing somewhere on the map. "So this is where we started, right? Castle... Pfff. Mier—"
"Yes, Castle Mierda, bastard." Romano swatted away America's hand and pointed to a nearby spot. "And this area is where we are now." Looking at the map again now, Romano could see... those damn crystals were fucking scattered. It looked like they'd have to travel around some small continent before they could reach all of them... god dammit.
"I say we find the crystal that restores everyone's happiness first!"
"Are you fucking kidding me!? What if it's way the fuck out in the middle of fucking nowhere!? We're going to the closest one first, you burger brained dumbass!"
America hummed in thought as he looked back at the map. "...Well, would you look at that! The crystal for happiness is the closest one! It's right here, the Golden Crystal. I asked Lu about it before we left!"
"Bastard," Romano said, once again swatting away America's hand and calming his stupid feelings. "Why are you so fucking set on that one, anyway?"
"Because, happiness is the most important thing! So we should definitely restore that one first!"
Romano just scoffed at that. He supposed that made sense, coming from the nation who always had a fucking smile on his face. "Whatever. Let's just get this shit over with."
At that, they both stood and continued through the forest, towards the Golden Crystal—apparently housed in a city called Felicity.
Two days later, they finally arrived at the city, and it couldn't come soon enough for Romano. He had to live off of America's shitty chocolate the whole time—which, by the way, the bastard seemed to have an endless supply of it stuffed in his uniform, somehow—and generally live out in the middle of the woods. Gross. At the very least, Romano could be grateful that America was knowledgeable (and all too excited) about camping, so he didn't have to deal with setting up the tough shit… but still. His uniform was all ruined now! He frowned as he tucked away some frayed strands of thread; it still looked like a military uniform on the outside, but decades ago, Romano started attending the meetings in imitations made of finer fabric, and more flattering tailoring.
As for the city of Felicity? Romano took a good look around: it was magnificent! ...Or, at least, it seemed that it used to be that way. The ground was fully paved with bricks, the buildings housed large and intricately designed windows, and the fountains they passed held nice statues, mostly of smiling women. On the other hand… the walkways appeared eerily large, with barely anyone bustling about in the city; the beautiful windows had grime caked on throughout their curving panes; and the fountains were still, their spouts looking dirty, and the water they held, dark and stagnant.
Romano felt relieved when America found a tavern nearby, and it actually had someone inside. If everyone in the world stopped having emotions… then, Romano reasoned, they were probably all indoors, instead of outside doing… normal outside things.
It was too bad, though, that the barkeeper was the only person inside. He was sitting on the other side of the counter, head down in his arms, and for a moment Romano wondered if he was dead. At the sound of the door closing and footsteps, however, the man raised his head, looking bleary.
Without waiting for a greeting, the nations sat at the counter, and America explained, "Hey, we're looking for the Golden Crystal. It's supposed to be in this city—you know anything about it?"
The man blinked slowly, looking like he never saw another human in his life until now. Finally, in a somewhat raspy voice, he answered, "...Yes. It is Felicity's number one attraction… why do you ask?" Romano held back a groan—this fucker spoke slower than a snail.
"We're trying to recharge it! Or something like that. Where is it?"
"Hm… it is sitting in a dedicated shrine, just outside of Felicity. If you go north, you will find the forest trail that leads directly to it."
"Awesome! Then, what are we waiting for? Let's go, Romano!" The moment America got up, however, a loud rumble rang out. His face fell for a moment and he added, "although, I could sure go for a burger right about now…"
"Tch, stupid bastard. Does anyone in this world even know what a burger is?" Romano snapped, also getting up.
His plans to crush America's hopes and dreams fell apart, though, as the barkeeper spoke up. "I know what a burger is. The burgers of Felicity are our second largest attraction. Shall I make one up for you?"
"Oh, hell yes!" America said, promptly sitting back down. "It's been too long!"
"...What." Romano shot the other nation a glare. "We have some important hero shit to do, or whatever you call it, and you're just going to sit here and eat a damn burger?"
"Hey, the Crystal will still be there when I'm done! Come on, man, as awesome as Hershey's is, even I can't survive on that alone!"
"And what the hell am I supposed to do?! I don't want a damn burger!"
"I dunno. Order something else?"
Romano eyed the barkeeper, as well as any of the preparation equipment he could see from the bar. Obviously, this place hadn't seen business for a while, and also obviously, the barkeeper no longer had any fucks to give about this place. "I'll pass, bastard. The shit I get here might even be worse than your chocolate, and dammit, I'm not going to chance that experience."
"Well, suit yourself! If you're feeling that antsy, though, why don't you go ahead and find the Crystal on your own? Can't be too hard!"
"Fine, asshole. I'll go and actually get the fucking thing we need. I hope you choke on your burger, bastard." And with that, Romano stormed out of the building, and towards the north.
Just as expected, there was a trail through some more forest leading out of the north of town. It appeared to have been scenic in its glory days, though now, with its wilting flowers and general silence, it was just depressing.
Also, as Romano soon learned, the trail was fucking long. Fuck. About ten minutes in, he still couldn't spot any shrines behind the thick foliage, and—wait.
Romano stopped and tried focusing on the sounds around him. It was dead silent here, but he thought he heard—there they were again! The distinct sound of footsteps.
They grew louder, and soon enough, they were accompanied by a light and effeminate laugh.
"Well, hello there. You don't look like you're from around here," the feminine voice said. It was oozing with sweetness, but it just didn't sound right, it sounded as though… Russia had said it. If he were a woman, that is.
Romano turned around and saw two people emerge from the dense forest; one was a tall man with a bald head and an impressively curled mustache, while the other was a cute woman all dressed in frills and ribbons. Oddly enough… they weren't grayed out. Their chilling red eyes made that much clear… shit. Romano didn't like the look of those eyes.
"What's it to you?" he asked, turning to face the newcomers and backing away.
The girl giggled. "You just look like a pest, that's all. Klein, let's squish the icky bug!"
Romano frowned—he wasn't an icky bug! He was a handsome and romantic Ital—shit! Romano turned and bolted for the forest as soon as the large man moved towards him. As good as Romano was at running away, though, the forest proved to be too thick, and he couldn't get a good head start through all the damn trees. Just as he was trying to find a dark spot to hide in, he could feel something pull on the back of his collar, and—whoosh! He was easily pulled through the air and back out in the open.
Romano struggled to hang onto his uniform's collar and breathe, dammit, as Klein held him up about a foot above ground.
Below him, the girl giggled. "Good night, little buggy," she sang out, and in the next moment, everything went black.
Author's Notes:
No cultural notes or whatever that I can think of this time. Klein is simply the name of a mathematician, because when I'm stuck on names, that's where I turn to! Also, I freely admit, I love that character archetype of a cute girl in cute clothes who's actually super evil. Nui Harime and Diane Makepeace are awesome examples that come to mind~
I spent so long on this chapter just overthinking things! My brain needs to stop doing that. I'm hoping to get better about that, the more I write!
Until next time, folks! I hope all of you have a lovely day~