Shit, was that—no, wait, that's normal, it's just shadows. Romano sighed in relief.

"Dude—"

"Gah!"

"Dude, calm down! You've been looking completely wound up all morning," America said, giving Romano an odd look. "Why don't you head back to the inn and take it easy?"

"Fuck no! I said I'm coming along, so I'm coming along!" Romano replied, and then he went right back to his anxious looking around.

Today was their first morning in Melancholia, and Romano was keeping on high alert. He hadn't seen any signs of demons yet, but—shit!

... Oh, wait. That wasn't them, either.

Anyway, the point was, he was expecting them soon, and if America wasn't going to take him seriously and be more careful, then dammit, Romano was going to stick by the bastard's side!

And don't anyone get any funny ideas here, either! Romano just didn't want America to get incapacitated somehow, because then they'd just have to take way the fuck longer to get back home.

The pair of them were heading to the priestess's house now, looking for information on the Indigo Crystal. As they moved along, Romano could only feel his nerves continue to wind up, and by the time they reached the house—a normal little wooden structure, just part of the rest of the neighborhood—he felt exhausted already.

America knocked on the door, and after a moment, it opened and revealed a short and slight woman, with long and dark hair that fell over her eyes.

"May I help you?" she asked.

"Yes!" America answered. "We were looking for the Indigo Crystal, so we could revive it—because we're the heroes!"

"... Oh. Is that so..." Her eyebrows drew together and then she stepped aside, revealing that there were two people further on inside.

Klein and Lindy.

Shit. They looked over to the nations then, and Lindy's face turned as sour as Romano felt.

"You! What are you doing here!?" Lindy exclaimed, walking briskly up to the doorway.

"We're here to restore the Indigo Crystal!" Romano shouted back, instinctively edging away. "What are you doing here!?"

"I—why—w-well, that's why me and Klein are here!"

"Like hell you are!"

At that, the demons and the priestess gave Romano odd looks. Just when the Italian thought he was about to choke on the awkwardness, Lindy spoke up, saying, "What does that even… mean?"

… Right. Idioms. Not the same here.

"Regardless of that," the priestess cut in, "all of you claimed to be the Crystals' heroes, but there still seems to be some kind of conflict…"

"Of course there is!" Romano said, regaining some of his earlier steam. "Those two aren't heroes at all—they're demons who are here to kill everyone!"

"Oh, really? Is that so?" The priestess faced Lindy then.

"Um. I. Um..." Lindy turned to Klein, who made some gestures at her. Once he finished, Lindy smirked and turned back to the others. "Of course that's not true! Wow, that's so, um... Wow! What a bad joke!" Lindy barked out some casual laughter. "Actually... How do we know that you two losers aren't the demons around here!?"

"Yeah, who knows with Romano?" America said, running a hand through his hair. "I think it's pretty obvious that I'm a hero, though!"

The priestess looked America up and down, forehead furrowed. "I dunno," she finally said, "You don't obviously seem to be one or the other, honestly. How am I supposed to tell who's telling the truth?" She rubbed her chin and then stared off into space, thinking. Some long moments later, her eyes lit up, and she said, "I think I have an idea. I'm able to think this through because the Azure Crystal is back, and that only happened thanks to the real heroes being able to think deeply. So, I must test your ability to think."

She turned to the others with a critical eye. "And actually, who's to say you four are the only candidates? What if there's somebody else nearby trying to find my house? I should… Yes, that's it. I'll set up a chess tournament, one week from now! The winner would be the most likely person to be the hero, then."

Romano blanched. "... What?"

"Was I unclear somewhere? There's no way for me to ever be completely sure, but at least this way gives me the best chances. As I was explaining earlier to the other two, I've hidden away the Indigo Crystal from danger… so, I'll give it away to the winner next week. It seems the most fair." Then, the priestess nodded and showed a small smile. "Besides, chess is my favorite game."

"Well, I'm fine with that," America said, tucking his hands into his pockets.

"As are we!" Lindy added with a huff.

Romano looked among the others, mouth hanging open from disbelief.

Fucking hell, this world is stupid.

"Bastard, do you even know how to play chess?" Romano grumbled. He and America sat across from each other at an outdoor table, chess board between them; Romano was currently setting up the pieces while America finished off his lunch.

"Mmm mph mmmph!" America... said.

To which Romano replied with a glare.

After taking a comically huge gulp of his food, America said, "Sure I do! I've played against Russia tons of times! How 'bout you? You any good at it?"

"What—of course I am!" Not that he played the game very much at all. Ever.

While Romano finished the setup, America pushed his plate aside, and finally took a look down at the board. "Pff—" the blond snorted. "Dude, you've got the board sideways."

"Fucking—shut the fuck up!" Romano screeched, feeling his face go hot.

A few minutes later, America correctly finished the setup, and he waved a hand for the Italian to start. "You first," he said.

"I knew that! I remembered all the rules, and I know that white goes first, so obviously—yeah! Shut up, bastard!" Romano, who was consciously ignoring the odd look his companion sent him, plucked up a pawn and moved it forward. America twitched as though to make his move, but Romano held up a finger. "Wait, wait! I don't know if I want to do that."

Romano took the pawn back, then reached for another. Two forward, or one forward? Oh, but if he moved that one, then it leaves his queen open… He moved to grab a different pawn, but, if he did that one, then America could get his king… And hey, what about the knights? He could open with those! But then, which one… and if he was too bold with those knights, then he could lose them, and Romano heard somewhere that knights are really good…

Romano glanced up and saw America completely zoned out, staring into space. At the sudden movement, America's eyes snapped back into focus, and he looked back to Romano. "You move yet?"

"No! I'm still thinking, bastard… this is a strategy game, you're supposed to think your moves through!"

America frowned, and looked like he was about to argue back; but then he just turned back away. "Just hurry up, man."

Stupid pushy bastard! Romano huffed and went back to moving pieces around, trying to figure out his first move. Well, they'd see who was the better strategist when America just rushed things and ended up losing!

After some long minutes of thinking (Romano lost track of time), the Italian finally played, feeling at least halfway confident about it. "Oi, bastard," he said. "You can go now."

It took America a moment to come back to reality. "Finally." He didn't even so much as look at the board before he moved a piece forward. Bastard.

Romano hummed in thought. He could move the pawn from last turn again, and get it farther forward… He did so, and just as America reached over for his play, Romano yelped and pulled back. "Shit, I don't want to do that!" He just noticed—his pawn could get taken by a bishop if it stayed there!

Instead, Romano moved a knight up. America raised a brow and asked, "Can I go now?"

"Um… wait, no."

Romano moved another piece tentatively, and then another, before he heard America groan. He looked up to see the blond frowning and rubbing a hand down his face. "Dude," America finally said, "New rule: once you move a piece, then that's officially your move."

"The fuck!?"

"You're fucking slow!"

"Bastard! Fine! Have it your way!" Romano could feel himself fill with anger—as well as the determination to show up the burger bastard—and so he shot all of his focus down on the board.

When it was his turn, Romano mentally ran through the meanings of every possible move, and tried to figure out America's strategy. On the other hand, America breezed through his moves, and sometimes it looked like he wasn't even paying attention.

… So when America won his checkmate, Romano was very honestly confused.

And he made that much clear. "What the fuck, America?! How the fucking fuck did you win?"

"Dude, you suck at this game. Horribly. Like… so hard, that you suck the dick and the balls. All in one go."

Romano felt his face go so red, and so hot, and he could swear he was able then to toast marshmallows with his ears—"The—The fuck!? You weren't even looking half the time!"

America sighed and sat back. "Look, I'm also pretty good, too. I've played a lot of games."

Romano stared back down at the board, flustered. Shit, he got creamed. This was just like…

… Just like that dream from two weeks ago.

Romano felt his heart accelerate instantly, and he glanced around for the demons.

No, no demons around now. Calm down.

He began toying with one of the pieces and mulled over the dream, before looking back to America. "Look, next week… Well, those two demons are also going to the tournament next week. I… think they're planning something awful."

America raised an eyebrow at that. "Dude, where did this come from, all of a sudden?"

"Never mind that! I, I just don't want something really, really… bad… to happen because of them. Maybe we should skip the tournament? Get the Crystal another way that doesn't involve seeing them again?"

"What, you got an idea on how to do that?"

Romano could feel himself deflate. "Well, no."

"Then, what's up? We're just playing chess, that's got to be the least dangerous way to fight them!"

"I know... just..." Romano sighed, and when he looked up to America's face, he could see the blond frowning.

"Do you think I can't win, or something?"

"No! No, it's not that, just…" America's frown appeared to deepen. "Look, who's to say they'll play fair? Or even play chess at all? What if they just come in, and… well, and—"

"And start a massacre?"

"Yeah! … Something like that."

"Well… we need the Crystals, and they're after the same thing… I'd bet it's only a matter of time before they try something extreme. But, it's not like we have a clue what they're capable of. What could we do about them now?"

"We could… um…" Romano could only think that he and America could attack preemptively, but, shit… he really didn't want to do that. Too dangerous, and too unnecessarily violent. "... I don't know."

"Come on, dude, I'm sure this isn't the first time you've had to deal with nasty shit. It's not the first time for me, either. If shit hits the fan, we can figure something out when we actually get there, all right? At the very least, I promise that I can get us out of any problems." America puffed out his chest and smiled widely. "I'm the hero! I can make it through anything!"

"America, I'm trying to be serious here! I'm worried about how things are going to end up!"

"I'm serious too!" The blond hopped out of his seat and waved off Romano. "I think you're just going crazy with worry, because everything's going to be fine, all right? I'll win the tournament and then we'll be on our way, and we can deal with unexpected things as they come. Why don't you take it easy, in the meantime? Rest up for the week, you can take a break!" The last statement was punctuated with a perky grin, and with that, America turned and walked off somewhere.

Romano slumped over the table and sighed. What the hell was wrong with that bastard? Why wouldn't he listen? It was so bad, he must have been doing this on purpose—at least a little bit.

America, what was going on in that head of yours?

Author's Notes:

Hello again everyone! I'm thinking we'll see the answer to that question at the end rather soon. That's one part of the story I've had in mind for most of the run so far, so I can't wait to write it! And then, after that… if fanfic's formatting allowed weird symbols and stuff, I would totally have put down one of those stupidly excited-looking smileys here.

Until next time, all you awesome folks! (...Insert the sunglasses smiley here.)