When Clint shuffled into the kitchen the next morning, he found Loki standing at the open window, looking out across the alley. Slow piano jazz tinkled in, sounding like something fit for an old nightclub lounge. He sidled up beside the god, finding the woman with her graying, copper hair, half hidden behind the window curtains. She was chopping something, cooking.
"There is a young woman visiting her," Loki said quietly.
Clint humphed and guessed. "Daughter, maybe."
"Perhaps. They do resemble each other."
"How long have you been up?"
"I have not slept."
Clint looked up at the god, seeing slightly dark bags under his eyes confirming how tired he must be. What he had said to the god last night must have given him food for thought if he didn't sleep all night. They continued to watch the woman in the next building without really seeing her. She looked up at them, what was usually just a glance to see if Clint's window was still open, and she seemed surprised to see a second man in the window beside him. She tentatively smiled and then went back to chopping. Loki sighed through his nose and Clint looked at him again.
"With the size of your home I can assume you don't have a library hidden away somewhere, yes?"
"A library?"
"Yes. Or perhaps you know someone who has one and would allow me to use it."
Clint rumbled around in the fridge before picking out a bag of tiny chocolate glazed doughnuts and ripping it open to stuff one in his mouth.
"Why would you want a library? I don't think we have books on magic. Not your kind anyways."
Loki rolled his eyes at the archer and mumbled, "Uneducated, tch."
"Well, I didn't graduate high school-"
"I am extensively bored. I have spent the morning watching your fish swim in his cage, watched and heard the woman across the way. I have read the labels of every box and jar in this house."
Clint smiled. "Even the shampoo bottles?"
"Yes," Loki sighed in exasperation.
"Well, why didn't you sleep? Sleep alleviates boredom most times."
"Because I am not human, I don't require rest every single day. And there is little to entertain me in your home as I while away the hours that you sleep. The television is unbearable to watch in the early hours."
The archer chuckled and put away the bag of doughnuts, sucking the tips of his fingers of the melted chocolate. He noticed Loki watching him carefully and he pulled his thumb out of his mouth with a wet noise, jabbing it at the fridge behind him.
"Want some doughnuts?"
Loki squinted at him with impatience. "I want books."
"Okay, okay. Let me get dressed, I'll take you to the library and we'll check out the whole place."
"Thank you."
With an empty backpack on his shoulders, Loki and Clint parked against the curb near a red-bricked two-story building. The yellow and red flag that waved in the breeze above the double doors depicted the outline of a lion and read 'library'. Clint headed in, allowing the god to trail behind slowly, looking at the white pillars supporting red archways between the buildings long windows.
Just inside the doors, Clint swerved to the right where the reception desk was and he caught the attention of the lady behind it. Loki's head swiveled to see all of the long room, multiple chairs and tables, a few one-man sofas. The far walls started into bookshelves stuffed full, but when Loki spotted the staircase, he abandoned the ground floor to make his way up. Clint let him go and finished his dealings with the woman, finding the god on the second floor and perusing the history section, his arms already filling with books.
"Gonna bring those home? Or are all those to read while we spend the day here?"
"Both. It's thrilling that one may borrow books to take home- in Asgard, books in someone's library are treasured things and they don't leave the room."
Clint shrugged. "Books are important here too, but we like to share the knowledge."
"Finally, one redeeming quality of your people."
The archer rolled his eyes and walked away, to another section of the room. He strolled through the small aisles of low shelves, finding himself in the religion section and picking out a book he had been meaning to read. Now seemed as good a time as ever. Loki sat at one of the tables, his chosen tomes piled around him and already dipping into the pages. He didn't seem to notice Clint sit across from him and lean his chair back, reading from his lap. All that could be heard for a while was the turning of pages, both of them deep within their own reads. When Clint changed his position to have his elbow on the table, forearm up and holding the book in one hand, Loki glanced up at it and stared. The archer was reading the Prose Edda. Clint felt the stare, could see Loki's face in a blur of his peripheral vision and he looked at him with a smirk.
"Weird knowing I'm reading about you?"
"I doubt the grapevine campfire stories of a tribe of heathens could possibly lend much truth."
"I'll say," Clint snorted. "This says Thor has red hair."
Loki stared at the archer with no amusement on his face.
"And that you give birth to animals."
Loki growled and turned back to his own book, shaking his head and grumbling to himself while Clint chuckled at him.
The two ended up not staying the entire opening hours of the library, taking a break to get lunch and checking out the stack of books Loki could fit into the backpack. They ended up going back to the apartment after a lunch at Popeye's, introducing Loki to at least a vague semblance of Cajun cooking, and then went home.
On the roof of his apartment, Clint tossed his stack of raw rabbit furs into a small tub of liquid, stirring them down and dropping a rock in to weigh them to the bottom. As the furs soaked, he set about picking up his camping gear, now dry and waiting. He folded up the tent and flysheet, rolling them into a tight cylinder and shoving them into the bag. He held the water bag upside down and shook it to make sure there was no moisture left behind before folding it up as well.
"Hello, there!"
Clint jumped and looked around, finding the source of the voice on the building next to his. The red-headed woman stood near the corner of her roof, lifting a shirt to clip onto a clothes line. She smiled at him over her shoulder. Clint smiled and waved at her.
"Hey!"
"Nice to hear your voice finally."
"Right?"
She reached into the basket at her feet and pulled up a pair of dark, damp jeans and hung them over the line.
"Was that your daughter?"
The lady looked confused for a moment before it dawned on her and Clint apologized.
"Sorry, I guess that's kinda creepy- Loki happened to see her this morning when he was listening at the window."
She dismissed his apology with a wave of her hand. "Yes, she's visiting from school- come up here to stay with her girlfriend for the summer." She slowed her speech then, trying to be discreet. "Loki. Is that... your boyfriend?"
Clint's heart rammed into his throat at the word, shaking his head violently at the notion. "Oh, no," He laughed nervously. "No, he's uh... He came across some hard times and he's bunking with me for a while. He's not my boyfriend."
"Well it's nice that you can help a friend when they've got nowhere else to turn." She flapped a wet shirt in the breeze and clipped it in place.
Clint finished packing his gear up and wanted to laugh at himself. Of course his neighbor lady would think he and Loki were together and of course the thought would embarrass him. He left the furs in the vat of chemicals and said goodbye to the red-headed lady, and she bade him a cheery farewell in return. When he got back into the apartment, he realized he didn't ask for her name. And she hadn't asked for his.
Loki was laid out on the couch with one of his books in hand, flipping the page often. Clint thought about telling Loki what the woman had thought of them, but decided against it just as he opened his mouth. What would they say about it other than laugh nervously at each other and make large about how dumb it would be? He settled with telling the god he was right about the girl visiting her as he put away the tent and gear in his closet. Loki merely hummed and continued to read. The archer rolled his eyes and sat on the floor against the couch, grabbing off the stack of books on the carpet and flipping through it idly. Atlas of World History.
"Learning about how you're not the only invader to fail to conquer the world?"
"I am learning the history of your young world," Loki said, dodging the question.
"Mm-hm. Well, I'm gonna watch TV; I'll keep it low, but I guess if you need quiet, you can read in my room." He clicked the television on and watched the Discovery channel, a piece on Christmas Island, and Loki stayed on the couch.
The room was bare and dark, white floors shadowed hard even with the ceiling open to show the sky, and he could see Loki clearly as if it were daytime, lying on the floor and head turned to look beside him, at Clint. The god gazed at him calmly even as his body rocked against the floor and a hiss of air was heard. Clint looked down Loki's armored body to see a copy of himself between the god's legs, thrusting his clothed hips into him. Clint was going to get up from the floor, heart pounding in panic at the sight, but he couldn't move. His second body, mocking sex, planted his hands on the floor beside Loki's shoulders and looked over at himself, growling and protective, and Clint was breathless at the vines of bright blue that slithered up the other's neck and into his eyes, coloring them full. Loki leaned up to nuzzle at his ear and made the twin looked away from Clint, the opal-blue eyes suddenly becoming their usual grey color as he locked eyes with the god. He continued to thrust against him through his jeans and whine in frustration.
Clint went to grab the copy's shoulder and he froze when the hand reaching out was thin and feminine, arm wrapped in tight black fabric. Loki saw the hesitation and sneered at him, at her, even as he sighed and laid his head on the floor again, pulling Clint's hips harder against him.
He- she, watched the clone of Clint wrap his fingers in the belts of Loki's leathers and jerk the god into him as he pushed, beginning to snarl when he couldn't make himself get close enough. Loki snickered breathlessly, enjoying the man's torment.
Her lips moved on their own, not having a clue as to what she would say, but the words supplied themselves, all too familiar.
"Don't do this to yourself, Clint."
She was scared.
Clint whimpered and halted his movement, bending himself over the god and covering his face with his hands, fingernails digging into his forehead and cheeks. He seemed to cry and laugh at the same time, as Loki ran his fingers along Clint's thighs.
You don't understand, he said.
She trembled as she reached out to just graze her fingers over Clint's leg, nearly coming into contact with Loki's.
"This isn't you."
You know that?
Clint raised his head from his hands and sat back on his heels, breathing long and deep as he gazed up into the clear skies with a smile turning his lips. Loki rose from Clint's lap and walked past him, hands behind his back and strolling away. Clint turned his eyes to her, suddenly blazing blue again and slowly fading away into grey as he smiled at her contentedly.
It ain't him in here- he said- it's me.
Clint eyes popped open to see the ceiling of his apartment, flashing steadily in the dark with the changes of scene on the television. He lifted his head from the seat of the couch and blinked hard, seeing the actors on screen move their mouths and the yellow 'MUTE' in the corner.
"What did you dream?" Loki asked quietly behind him.
Clint turned his head towards the god's voice and then turned away again, getting up to go into his bedroom. He sighed and shook his head lightly.
"Nothing."
As Clint lie in bed, hearing the television become noisy again, he thought about his dream and how turned on he was. That's what scared him the most- how hot he had felt at seeing himself buck into Loki with such fervor, and how Loki had enjoyed every second of it. It didn't matter that they were clothed- the visual was there.
He squeezed his eyes shut and took deep calming breaths, trying to will away his erection while he scrutinized his dream further. He had been shocked to find himself, the one watching the dream unfold, as Natasha. That's who he realized he was when he had spoken, though he had a fleeting inkling when he saw his own hand reach out. The look Clint had given her when she saw them- the fierce growls of defensiveness, he couldn't believe himself. Protecting Loki. And the god had paid her no mind, as though she hadn't been a threat, and brought the archer's attention back to him fully, to thrust and grunt against him.
Clint groaned quietly and balled his hands into fists when he found them starting to wander along his thighs, right over the tops where Loki had touched them. He couldn't get away from the lust, even though he knew it was sick that he could get off on the thought of rutting against his former master, and he tensed all his muscles as he slipped a hand in his shorts to grip his length hard and squeeze. It provided slight relief, but he was aching and it wouldn't be enough. He pumped himself hard and fast, just wanting to come and go to sleep, but he found he couldn't close his eyes. When he did, all he could see were those green eyes glinting at him. All he could see were his hands tangled in black hair. He kept his eyes open and stared unseeing at the ceiling as he finished, and stared some more until he drifted into sleep again, come drying over his fingers.
On the roof again, arms and hands tucked away in long rubber gloves, Clint scraped away the fats and meats left over from the furs, now softened and pliable. Loki perched on the ledge with another book, dressed in a T-shirt and jeans, no shoes; enjoying the sunshine. He kept an eye on the archer, who had acted aloof all morning and even here on the roof had his back to him. Clint couldn't bear to look at the god without seeing his dream all over again. He knew he was acting strange, but he just couldn't stop himself.
Loki sighed softly and closed his book with a flapping sound. "If you talk about it then perhaps it will loosen it's hold on you."
Clint kept on scraping the insides of the furs. "Talk about what?" He knew what though.
"Your dream. It rankles you. I have some experience in dream interpretation, perhaps I can help you."
"Dreams don't mean shit," Clint grunted and flicked away a glob of fat. "It's just stuff you see and hear and some food you ate the night before fucking with your brain."
Loki wanted to roll his eyes but he didn't. "I agree that many dreams can be meaningless for the things you say, but there are those with which your mind is trying to communicate to your soul. Or the other way around."
"I'm not talking to you about my dream!" Clint snapped, twisting to look the god in the eyes. Loki looked back calmly, but the wheels were already turning in his head.
"I was in it," he said gently, not quite asking.
Clint sighed as he worked, not answering. Loki had the decency to look away, over the edge of the roof, as he sought out the contents of Clint's dream.
"We laid together, didn't we? This is what rattles you so."
"Goddamn it!" the archer shouted and threw his scraper down onto the concrete. "I said I wasn't talking about this!"
"You haven't spoken a word of it- but you're angered at my guesses which tells me I'm right so far, but past that I haven't the slightest idea as to how it could upset you so. It's merely a dream of sex! They happen to anyone who is in constant close proximity of another. Even I have them- of Thor no less and that is disturbing."
Clint lost his energy to scrape at the rabbit hides and sat on the ground, hanging his head against his chest to let the sun on his neck.
"We didn't have sex," he said, closing his eyes against the day.
Loki turned to face him and crossed his arms against his legs. "Tell me."
Clint huffed an exasperated sigh and looked up at the blue skies. "I was trying to, I was trying to fuck you through our clothes. You just smiled at me and took it, you didn't try to help. But... There was two of me. I was on you, but the other me- I was a third person watching it all. And the me with you was scary- possessive."
"Possessive?"
"Of you. It seemed like the other me thought I was going to take you away. You didn't seem to think so."
Loki stared at Clint's back as the archer looked into the clouds, watching sparrows fly by lazily. "What color are your eyes here?"
Clint smacked his face into his hands and groaned. "Fuck, how did you know?"
"They're like the Tesseract, weren't they?"
"Only when I looked at myself. When I looked at you... they were mine." Clint had watched the footage of his sabotage in the helicarrier and seen the ethereal blue clouds in his eyes.
Loki grunted at the information and Clint found his will to continue with his work on the furs, glad the conversation was over. Loki picked up his book again but waited to open it, thumbing the corner and rubbing the spine as he mulled over what he was going to say. What he would say that wouldn't upset the archer.
"Well," he said, "be at ease- your dream means nothing."
"Thank god for that."
Loki leaned back against the ledge of the roof and flipped the book open. "Don't thank me," he muttered.