Ezra walked slowly to the galley, keeping a hand on the smooth side of the ship. He knew he could have asked anyone for help and gotten it, either someone to fetch him whatever he needed or to walk with him and make sure he made it back and forth. Right now though the worst that would happen if he ran out of steam would be that he ended up sitting down for a while in the hallway, hardly something to worry about. Chopper might think it was funny and try to roll over his toes, but he'd survive that.
He breathed hard, more like he had been sprinting halfway across the planet than just walking slowly down the hall. It was frustrating, but at least there wasn't anyone to see him struggling. Later he knew it would be easier to work and regain his strength knowing there was someone else there to catch him when he reached the edge of his endurance, so he could push himself harder. For now, though, he just wanted to get used to walking around easily again.
He made it to the galley without much energy left to actually fix any food, grabbing a ration bar and sitting down heavily on the seat. They were always overwhelmingly bland, but at the moment they were perfect. Not only did it only require the effort needed to unwrap the bar, but it was solid food. Something he could actually bite into, and chew, and swallow without any pain or protest from his throat. Not only that, but he was still enjoying the fact that the very idea of food finally appealed after so long of the fever stealing his appetite.
He managed half of the bar before his stomach started to protest, and wrapped it back up, tucking it and a small carton of juice into a pocket for later. Everyone else was busy with last minute details supervising the mission transfer. Ezra hadn't even gotten to meet the people who were taking over the loading duties, but it was better that way. There was enough turnover of off-worlders that their leaving wouldn't raise any suspicions. If anything, him getting pyrethroat had only made it more believable that they were headed out to find work someplace a little drier before winter really hit, and before anyone else could catch it.
Ezra finished catching his breath and got up, starting slowly back down the hallway. It seemed longer this time, and his legs felt shaky. Instead of waking him up and giving him any energy with his belly full he just felt sleepy. He stopped barely into the hall, leaning heavily against the wall as he tried not to give into the temptation to slide down and sit for a while. After a few moments he heard a curious beep behind him.
"Just go around, there's plenty of room." He sighed, then felt Chopper press closely enough to his side to bump him a little.
"I said there's plenty of… oh." Ezra shut up at the second rock and bump as Chopper let him know he was being stupid, and he shifted to transfer his weight from leaning against the wall to bracing himself against Chopper's dome. "Alright, but no recording this and playing it back later."
With Chopper's slow rolling support it was easier to go step by careful step back down the hallway, starting past Kanan's door and towards the room he shared with Zeb. He paused a moment when he could see it had be left unlocked. "Hey, hold up just a minute, Chop?"
What he'd used to assume was just good instincts and luck he'd found out was usually the Force. Before he would have assumed Kanan was there without really knowing why. Like this though he could feel him on the other side of the door, relaxed and probably meditating or something similar. If he didn't want to be disturbed he would have left it locked, wouldn't he? He knocked on the door.
"You can come in, Ezra." Kanan's voice came through the door and Ezra smiled, opening up the door to a field of stars hanging in the air.
Ezra let go of Chopper so he could step inside, a little shaky but managing the few steps inside and over to Kanan's bunk so he could sit down, leaning back against the back wall to look up at the stars as they slowly moved, then shifted. Chopper made a rude sound, backing out of the room to let the door close.
"I'm trying to compare the star charts in the holocron to what we currently have on file, to see if there's any information on one that's not on the other." Kanan spoke after a moment, not breaking his concentration.
"Sounds, uh… very…" Ezra tried to think of a good word.
"Tedious?" Kanan smiled slightly, the stars slowly swirling. "It is. But maps can be tampered with. It's an old smuggler's trick actually, if you put a little flaw in your maps it acts like a signature, and you know where they came from, or if someone makes a copy."
"Could I learn how to do it?" Ezra asked, curious. Kanan made it look effortless, but then again he made a lot of things look easy that were anything but.
"If you're asking about eventually, yes. If you're asking if you think you can learn it right now then I'm not sure." Kanan took a breath and turned his head to look at him, the stars drifting in and into a bright point of light as the holocron closed.
"Can't hurt to let me give it a shot, right?" Ezra smiled, trying to look more alert than he felt.
"No, I guess not." Kanan picked up the holocron, taking the couple steps to the bunk and sitting down beside him, passing it over.
Ezra turned the cube over in his hands. As before it seemed solid, no catches or latches to be felt. "So what's the trick to it?"
"It's not a trick. You need to focus on getting it to tell you what you want it to. In this case it's the star charts. Concentrate on it, try to picture them." Kanan kept his voice even.
Ezra focused on the cube, closing his eyes, the holocron wobbling and lifting a couple inches up into the air.
"No, that's not it, you're levitating it." Kanan put his hand under Ezra's, supporting it as the cube plopped back down. "Relax."
"I am relaxed. If I was any more relaxed I'd be asleep." Ezra sighed, trying to picture what he saw before, the little points of light all slowly swirling around the room.
After a long moment the holocron wobbled, starting to lift itself up and open. At the first sign of light through his closed eyelids Ezra opened them, and lost focus, the holocron closing itself back up once more.
"That time was better. You'll get it." Kanan didn't take his hand away, and Ezra was thankful for it. He could feel little tremors along his arm at holding his hand out, even braced against his body like it was.
It took a few more tries before for a few long seconds he had the stars filling the room. And Ezra had wondered, with the way Kanan kept his eyes closed while he was using it, how he was able to see the charts. Like this he knew. The stars weren't just specks of light hovering in their air, they were in him. Behind his eyes and filling his mind and like he could reach out and touch them and this is a binary system and this is an asteroid field like scattered dust and here are dwarf planets barely clinging to the outmost edge of their star's gravity well and… and then his concentration broke, the stars winking back out.
"I almost had it." Ezra murmured, opening his eyes to stare at the cube.
"You had it. It'll get easier each time." Kanan sounded encouraging. "You just need to…"
"Be patient?" Ezra interrupted with a tired smile.
"Practice. But be patient works too." Kanan smiled back.
"Why is it so hard now? The first time I don't think I really did anything and it opened and stayed that way." Ezra had been curious about that, but Kanan never liked to talk much about how things were before, and a message about the Jedi Order falling definitely fell into the category of things before.
"The holocrons are very complicated pieces of technology. They respond to your orders, but they can be preset to activate in different circumstances. If you try to access this one while in pain for example, it'll try to bring up medical information for you. How were you feeling when it activated?"
"Alone. Not… good. I mean I figured I was going to get myself out of there, but I didn't think there was any way you guys were coming back for me. It could tell that?" Ezra eyed the cube.
"The message was sent out to warn anyone who'd survived being betrayed. I imagine Master Kenobi had a fairly accurate idea of what that would feel like." Kanan spoke quietly.
"I'm sorry. I never mean to bring up bad memories, it's just…" Ezra curled his fingers around the holocron.
"It's not your fault, and because of this we've got the chance to make new, better memories. For everyone." Kanan squeezed his hand gently.
"Yeah." Ezra looked at their hands and then managed a sheepish half smile, turning his hand over to deposit the holocron back in Kanan's. "Maybe I should watch you with it a little longer, so I'll be ready next time." It was a good excuse to cover the fact that he was getting tired faster than he thought he would and he'd probably need to ask for help back to his bunk for a nap.
"Alright." Kanan took it, standing back up to move over and kneel back down, settling back into a meditative position. It seemed he barely closed his eyes before the holocron was blossoming into stars.
"Show off." Ezra muttered, loud enough for Kanan to hear from the way his lips twitched in an almost smile. He'd just stay and watch them a little longer before he asked for a hand back to bed.
Kanan found three minor differences between the holocron's star charts and the ones they had from the Rebellion before he decided he'd been searching long enough for one session. He opened his eyes, taking a deep breath, and he wasn't surprised to hear an answering soft almost snore from across the room. There wasn't really any reason to wake Ezra up just to haul him to his own bed, so Kanan just tugged him down into a slightly less uncomfortable looking position and draped a blanket over him. He could sleep while Kanan wrote up his report.
"Come on, wake up, you're not going to want to miss this."
Ezra grunted, trying to roll away from the hand shaking his shoulder before the voice registered and he opened his eyes, blinking sleepily. "Sabine?"
"Yeah. We've been letting you sleep, but come on. I know you're going to like this." Sabine stepped back to give him room to haul himself up and out of bed.
There was a moment of confusion at the room and being on the bottom bunk, until he could recall that the last thing he remembered was watching Kanan with the star charts. He must have fallen asleep.
"What is it?" Ezra rubbed over his eyes, managing to get up on his feet. He was less steady than he'd like, but for the moment walking around on his own seemed like a viable option.
"You'll see, come on." Sabine waited until he was up before starting to lead him out, and up to the cockpit.
It took a little longer than Ezra would have liked, and he was out of breath by the time he got there. He gratefully sunk into Sabine's chair when she indicated it, bracing herself between the two chair backs. Everyone else was already there.
"Everyone ready to say goodbye to Eritt?" Hera flipped a few switches, the low hum of the engines lost under the pounding of rain beating down all around them like a waterfall.
"Good riddance more like. Though you sure it's safe to fly in this weather?" Zeb leaned forward, looking out at the utter lack of any visibility.
"Of course. Sky's that way." Hera confidently lifted them off and the rain changed direction. Kanan didn't look concerned either, relaxed and leaning back in his chair.
Ezra watched as the pounding rain gave way to sudden fog, dark thick clouds that streamed by, surrounding them and seeming to trap them for several long moments. And then…
Sunlight. Bright enough he winced, putting a hand up to shade his eyes and he was relieved to see he wasn't the only one, Zeb had covered his at the sudden flood of light, even if Sabine was staring at it with barely a squint.
"I forgot how much I missed the sun." Sabine murmured, leaning forward without losing her grip on the seats. "And colors other than grey."
"Yeah." Ezra grinned, even as they left the clear bright upper atmosphere for the clean darkness of space. "Thanks for waiting for me."
"No one thought you'd want to miss that." Kanan turned to look at him, echoing the smile, then turned to Hera "Where to now?"
"We've got a few stops to make, but unless anyone has any objections I think our next destination should be somewhere a little drier." Hera waited until the computer gave the go ahead, and then pulled the lever to make the jump to hyperspace.
Ezra watched the stars stretch out into long streams of light, surrounded by the people he cared most about, and settled back to listen to everyone make suggestions, serious or not so serious. In the end it didn't really matter that much, he was already exactly where he wanted to be.
Author Note: And we are finished! I hope you've enjoyed the story.