Duality by: asymptote-bag
Disclaimer: Do I look like George Lucas or Disney? One, that was a rhetorical
question, and two; no, I do not.
Rating: T (for minor violence and canon character death: WHYYYYYYYY, HAN, WHYYYYYYY.)
Summary: Note: SPOILER WARNINGS FOR THE FORCE AWAKENS IN FULL EFFECT. Part 1 in my possible trilogy entitled: My Angsty One-Shots on THAT CATWALK SCENE FROM TFA. Ben Solo/ Kylo Ren's point of view.
Enjoy, and be sure to grab a box of tissues.
The Force.
The force (pardon the pun) that binds every living creature in the galaxy together. A cesspool of sentient minds, thinking and pulsating and living together, interwoven in a million, billion events. Call it destiny, call it the work of a higher being. Some people do.
Like every living being, the Force has two sides: Light and Dark. One brimming with calm, peace, and unconditional love, the other driven by anger, fear and ambition. The two halves of a human being. In the Force, one cannot exist without the other; they complement each other, straining for dominance within each one of us.
But one side is always easier to succumb to than the other; the Dark Side. There is a reason why trust can be shattered so easily, why, in the annals of history, from dusty textbooks to words passed around a campfire, it is the tales of warfare, bloodshed, and uncontrollable destruction that are passed on through generations. It is oh-so-easy, so simple, to tip the scales, to surrender to the primeval lust for power.
Ben- Kylo Ren is no different.
Ben Solo was born a precocious child, dark brown eyes bright with intelligence and curiosity. He was born during a difficult pregnancy for his mother, so everyone was relieved when he turned out to be a perfectly healthy baby boy. From the Skywalker genes pumping through his blood, it came as no surprise when he managed to levitate a glass three inches off the Solo dining room table. It was a greater shock- and worry- from his parents when he did that a mere five minutes after a massive, screaming argument. But they shrugged the incident off. Their little boy did have a bit of a temper, prone to screaming tantrums and fits of rage, alternating between sullen reticence and alarming bursts of determination. It was only a phase, something all little boys would grow out of… right?
Ben was told to never use the Force like that again (bribed with roller-coaster-esque rides on the Millennium Falcon that put the poor spacecraft through twists and turns that she was definitely not designed for and usually were utilized during life-and-death firefights, but it was Han Solo piloting the craft, so what did you expect?). But at the age of ten, four years after his little exhibition with the glass, Leia decided that Ben should have more training from his uncle, the legendary Luke Skywalker, if he should stay on the path of the Light.
He did well in the first years of his training, determined to reach his full potential with the Force, picking up ideas quickly. Too quickly, as it seemed. By his eleventh year he was bored with what Luke showed him; he wanted to explore the darker side of the Force, use its more nefarious capabilities.
But he wanted more. He wanted to be as strong as his grandfather; he wanted, as cliche as it may seem, to rule the world. The galaxy had become too corrupt, too full of inept bureaucratic officials, and it needed someone to wipe the slate clean, and start anew. He would finish his grandfather's work.
So Kylo Ren trained harder, brushing off his parent's worries with excuses of "Don't you want me to be successful?" and "You're not letting me reach my full potential!". But as the dark bags under his eyes from long nights of training grew deeper, and the concern in his parents' faces built, Ben decided it was time to disappear.
He left home shortly after his fourteenth birthday, for the planet of Ashulia, far enough away from his homeworld that the Millennium Falcon couldn't reach him without some difficulty but close enough that he could still hear some rumors about what was happening to his family.
Despite his best efforts to tamp down the tiny, innocent voice in his mind that pleads with him to return to his family, to become a Jedi Knight on the side of the Light, Ben Solo still retained some affection for his parents. Smoke did not approve. He made it very, very clear on Ben's first day, (complete with threats to dissect a particular part of his anatomy) that Ben must dedicate himself wholeheartedly to the Dark Side and the Knights of Ren.
Fine by him.
On Ben's eighteenth birthday, he was allowed to pick a name for himself; a new identity that would not bear any resemblance to his past life. He chose the name Kylo Ren, and discarded the image of Ben Solo, weak, inept Ben like a worn-out garment, fraying and no longer usable. But Ben Solo lived on, slumbering on the edges of Kylo Ren's consciousness, acting as his caution, his conscience, everything Snoke tried to stamp out of him. As the years passed, Ben's influence grew dimmer and dimmer… but never winking out. It was still present; his Dr. Jekyll to Kylo Ren's Mr. Hyde; his alter-ego.
His spark of goodness, of decency as a human being. Everyone has a spark like that, just waiting to be blown into a roaring fire. But they must hurry, lest the spark be extinguished forever.
The moment his father steps into Starkiller Base, Kylo Ren knows.
He's not paying much attention at first, furious with himself and the stupid, idiotic, supposedly inept girl that escaped from her cell. Snoke would have his head, later. Now, he needs to focus on blasting the damn Resistance base to hell.
Excellent. His body quivers all over in anticipation. Once this is over, once he completes his final task, he will be allowed to complete his training to become a fully-fledged Jedi Knight.
Will you help me?
Yes. Anything.
Two choices. One, to drop his crimson red saber, light stained with the blood of rebels (how ironic; lightsabers cauterize any wounds they create), and leave this base to rejoin his family, a father that pleads with him to return, a mother, her arms open wide. To choose Light.
Two, to activate the saber, plunge it into his father's chest, ridding his soul of the last influences of Light within him. To complete his training as a Sith Lord, to command fear and reverence wherever he treads. To choose Dark.
Dual sides; one light, one dark. He can feel the Force tugging at him from both sides, demanding that he choose one. Ben Solo's presence feels stronger than ever, ignited by the arrival of his father.
I know what I have to do, but I don't know if I have the strength to do it.
A simple movement can change the world forever.
Kylo Ren activates the laser, illuminating the catwalk with blood-red light. How fitting for the events to take place. He thrust the saber through his father's chest, gloating in his victory over Ben Solo, his victory over the conflict within him. He has won; he has defeated the enemy within him, and now there will be nothing standing between him and his goals. After all, a house divided against itself cannot stand.
Thank you.
Thank you, for giving me the choice to choose my own destiny. Thank you, for allowing me to decide my alignments.
The scale, the balance of the Force within him tips, spilling its contents into the bottomless, endless pit of the Dark Side. He has burned the last bridge between himself and his family.
Do you see, Father? I've embraced the ways of the Force; I've picked my side, and it isn't yours.
Far, far away, a thousand light-years in another star system in the base of the Resistance, Leia Organa-Solo weeps.
Fin.