Demon: Welcome back to the Orphan Trio.
GoodWriter: So, now's the battle with Zabuza.
Demon: Yep. Now I can finally get things going.
Creeper: What do you mean?
Lexboss: Demon doesn't like the Wave Arc that much.
Demon: I don't necessarily hate it as much as I feel it's overdone to death. At least some writers make a few changes here or there.
Creeper: So, what are you planning differently?
Demon: You'll have to wait and see.
(Pause)
Demon: Okay, I didn't want to do this, but I received a few PMs from a few readers about a review from this story and they asked me (read: shit-talked me) why I never adjusted my story based on this reader's review. For those not knowing what I'm talking about, here's the review and author:
Look what Jesus did: Pretty shoddy work from the mobs that beat a child daily to the ANBU who answer directly to the Hokage being completely disloyal I don't really see that happening. There's also the fact the Sandiame had this amazing seal and an apartment building ready and yet Naruto sleeping in a tree doesn't bother him any. Personally I'd suggest rewriting the introduction to give it a bit more realism.
I'm going to go through these points one at a time to finally answer to this review and shut up the assholes who won't stop bugging me. Yes, this will jump the word count up by about 700-800 words, but fuck it.
"From the mobs that beat a child daily": I've actually discussed this with a number of my friends and most of us have agreed on this. The fact that in canon Naruto wasn't physically beaten as a kid is not making sense. They, as well as us, are humans and have our emotions. Humans also tend to have their emotions control some of their behaviors. In a real-world setting, if a group of people were threatened or severely injured by a person or creature, they would be fearful and angry of that person or creature. If the perpetrator is no longer in a threatening position, such as in this case the fox being in Naruto, the injured people would naturally want some kind of vengeance towards the perpetrator. I even brought this up to a few psychology professors at my school and they agreed with this idea. As sad as it is, human nature is not always pretty and if people can have a chance to get revenge on someone/something that has inflicted serious damage to them, physically or mentally, they would be more likely to do so if there were little to no consequence for doing so.
"The ANBU who answer directly to the Hokage being disloyal": Again, I discussed this with my friends. Just because they are under his command does not mean they have to follow what he says blindly. They are not emotionless, and many of them in this story do not like Naruto due to the fox as well. Keep in mind the ANBU are some of the strongest ninja in a village. Even if Sarutobi decided to kill or remove all ANBU against Naruto, he would be left with too few ninja to protect the village. Therefore, he can't keep them from doing what they choose to do unless he would want to cripple the village's security.
"There's also the fact the Sandiame having the apartment and an amazing seal and yet having Naruto in a tree doesn't bother him": Knowing Naruto's nature, I doubt that he would want to be pitied by anyone, especially by the Hokage. As such, he wouldn't go to him and tell him about having nowhere to go. If he could figure out a home himself without bothering someone he cared about, he would do that before begging for help. As for the Hokage not thinking of the seal himself first, that is the one thing I will admit I hadn't thought out well. However, the Hokage is, in the words of Peanut, "Old as shit". I forgot about the seal ten minutes after thinking I would put that, and I'm in my early twenties. I can imagine someone a few months shy of 70 would either forget about it or not think of it to begin with.
As for the whole "rewrite the start", fuck that. If you don't like how a story progresses, or starts in this case, then leave. I would rather have no views on a story than a million views by people who want to talk shit and demand I write the story how THEY want it rather than how I want it. If you have a problem with it, write your own fucking story and get the fuck off of mine.
With that rant out of the way, enjoy the next chapter.
End pause)
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto in any way. Nor do I own Ninja Warrior/Sasuke in any way.
"Talking" – Thinking – Demon/Summoning Speaking/Jutsu – Demon/Summon Thinking
The Orphan Trio, Chapter 13: The Demon of the Mist
As Kakashi stared down the now-named Zabuza, the Genin and Tazuna prepared for a possible fight. Toshi and Naruto quickly jumped in front of the drunk, ready to defend him if need be. However, Kurohi stood frozen in place, his eyes widening slightly. "Kurohi, get into position!" Naruto called, getting nothing in response. The Dark user just continued to stare at the large man.
'Zabuza…' Kurohi thought before shaking his head and jumping near the others. Toshi noticed Kurohi's facial expression and became concerned. 'Does he know this guy? If so, judging from his face, we might be in trouble.' Toshi thought as he pulled a kunai out and held it firmly. Naruto, not noticing his friend's reaction, mimicked Toshi and had a kunai at the ready. Meanwhile, Tazuna tried not to drop his jug in fear, as well as trying not to "drop anchor".
Zabuza glared at Kakashi while also glancing slightly at the Genin. 'That kid seems familiar. I know I've seen him somewhere before, but I don't know where.' The ex-Mist nin thought as he grabbed the handle of his sword. 'Oh well, it hardly matters. I have a job to do.'
"Zabuza Momochi, the 'Demon of the Bloody Mist'. I'm surprised you decided to show yourself after your failed attempt on the Mizukage." Kakashi said evenly, pulling a kunai from his pouch. He knew things were dangerous now that an A-ranked missing-nin is in front of them.
Zabuza returned his focus to the silver-haired ninja before jumping off his blade, removing it from the tree. "And I'm surprised the bridge builder is being guarded by the famous Copycat. Now, we're both busy, so why don't you just hand over the bridge builder and I'll let you take your precious Genin home? I'd rather not have some kids get killed over a small matter."
Kakashi glared as he reached for his headband. "You're not getting your hands on Tazuna." The Jonin said as he pulled his headband up, exposing his closed eye. Zabuza smirked beneath his bandages. "Oh, you're using your Sharingan right off the bat? It seems I'm getting special treatment today." The Mist nin said, getting shocked reactions from the Genin. 'Kakashi-sensei has a Sharingan?' The trio thought as they watched Kakashi open his eye. The three gasped as they saw the red eye with three tomoe.
'I thought the Sharingan belonged to the Uchiha! How does he have one?' Naruto thought. The two others had similar thoughts while Tazuna stood scared, not knowing about the doujutsu. Zabuza smirked as he quickly threw a couple hand signs together. "While I'm honored, I'm afraid I can't savor this. I have my assignment, after all. Ninja Art: Hidden Mist Jutsu!"
Suddenly, a huge fog of mist appeared, obscuring the view of the missing-nin from the Genins' eyes. Kakashi glanced around slightly, trying to locate the ninja. "Keep guard, team. Zabuza will try to get to Tazuna." The copycat said, trying to remain calm. The Genin stood strong, until an evil chuckle began to emanate from the mist.
"Lungs, Clavicle, Brain, Jugular, Carotid, Liver, Kidneys, Heart. Eight vital targets. All certain death. Which should I hit first?" Zabuza said, his chuckle still prevalent. Along with this, Zabuza put forth a heavy dose of killing intent. Kakashi managed to hold it together, as did Toshi and Naruto, but the Jonin noticed Tazuna faring poorly. Kurohi looked no better, his hand shaking. "Kurohi, don't worry. I won't let anything happen to you. I promise." Kakashi called to the Genin with an eye-smile, hoping to relax the boy.
However, Kurohi was not shaking from the killing intent, and Kakashi's words didn't help much. The Kiri native was shaking due to his thoughts from earlier. 'Zabuza, why? I respected you back in Kiri. Why would you do this?' He thought sadly, his shaking hand not stopping. Kakashi saw Kurohi not reacting to his words, and cursed mentally. 'Something must be wrong. Kurohi shouldn't be this scared. I'll need to talk with him later. But for now…'
His eyes widening, Kakashi threw the kunai. The kunai whizzed past Tazuna's head and hit a still-hidden Zabuza, who was standing behind the drunk. Suddenly, the Zabuza turned into water, showing it was a Water clone. Kakashi felt a presence behind him and turned to see Zabuza swinging his blade. The large blade sliced clean through the Jonin, much to Zabuza's excitement, until the body turned into water. "He copied my water clone through the mist?" The missing-nin said surprised before feeling a kunai on his neck.
"I'm not called the 'Copycat Ninja' for nothing, Zabuza. You're finished." Before Kakashi could slit the man's throat, Zabuza chuckled and turned into water, revealing himself to be another clone. "Shit!" The Jonin looked around, trying to find the ex-Kiri nin. Seconds later, he felt a kick to his side that sent him into a nearby lake. Kakashi surfaced quickly, searching for the ninja. However, he noticed something strange right away.
'This water's really dense. What's going on?' A second later, it hit him. "This water's full of chakra!" Before he could get out of the water, Zabuza appeared. "You're right. Water Style: Water Prison Jutsu!" Suddenly, Kakashi found himself inside a sphere made of water, unable to escape. Zabuza had placed an arm in the sphere, keeping it stable. Meanwhile, he created another Water clone, intending to sic it on Tazuna.
"Team, get Tazuna out of here now!" Kakashi yelled desperately, hoping the three would run. Unfortunately, they didn't move. "No way, Kakashi-sensei! You told us yourself that those who abandon their comrades are worse than trash! We're not leaving you behind!" Naruto shouted, knocking Kurohi out of his thoughts. Kakashi mentally sighed in defeat. 'Of all the times for them to follow my code! Dammit!' He thought as Naruto and Toshi went into a stance.
"Kurohi, stay behind and watch Tazuna. We'll take care of the clone!" Toshi said, hoping his friend would be alright. Kurohi swallowed, but nodded. He didn't want to get involved in this fight if he could help it. Naruto and Toshi quickly ran forward, ready to fight and save their sensei.
Zabuza's clone smirked before forming hand signs. "Take this brats! Water Style: Pressure Wave!" A strong jet of water fired from the clone's mouth, aiming at the two charging Genin. Toshi and Naruto jumped out of the way, the former quickly making hand signs himself. "Earth Style: Earth Spear Jutsu!" Zabuza had to jump to avoid the spikes that erupted from the ground. Toshi was glad he thought to learn the move Mezuki had used against Naruto.
'So, this kid's got an Earth element. That'll be a bit harder to handle, but I'll manage.' The clone thought as he ran towards Toshi. Before Zabuza could reach the Genin, the boy was quickly switched with Naruto, who had a shit-eating grin. "Take this! Wind Style: Great Breakthrough!" Naruto exhaled a gust of wind that sent the surprised clone backwards, into a tree. The clone was dazed for a moment, surprised that the blonde brat would use the substitution to take his teammate's place.
Before the clone stood up, he had a realization. 'Wait, where did that hooded brat go?' He had his answer soon enough as he heard his creator's sound of surprise as the original had to jump out of the way of another Earth Spear, releasing his hold on the Water Prison in the process. Zabuza jumped next to his clone, slightly sweating. He almost took a fatal hit from that attack, and he knew his water attacks wouldn't do much to prevent the spear from killing him.
Looking at his clone and nodding, Zabuza started on a series of hand signs, while his clone dispelled into a puddle of water. However, he noticed Kakashi copying his signs. 'How is he able to…'
"Copy my hand signs?" Kakashi said, finishing Zabuza's thought. Zabuza growled as he continued. 'Is he somehow…'
"Reading my mind?" Kakashi finished again, pissing off Zabuza further. "Stop copying me…"
"You damn monkey!" Kakashi finished yet again, pissing the ex-Kiri ninja off further. In his anger, Zabuza missed one hand sign, ruining his attack. However, Kakashi managed to finish it correctly, sealing Zabuza's fate. "Water Style: Water Dragon Jutsu!" A giant dragon made of water crashed into the missing-nin, sending him forcefully into a large tree. As Zabuza looked up, he started to sweat. "How?!" Kakashi walked towards the downed Zabuza, a kunai at the ready.
Before Kakashi could finish him off, two senbon suddenly flew through the air, impacting into Zabuza's neck. The missing-nin's eyes widened suddenly as he dropped to the ground. Kakashi froze, unsure of where the attack came from. However, a figure made itself known as a person jumped onto the ground near Zabuza's body. The individual was about Naruto's height and wore a hunter-green kimono. He also wore a plain white mask with Kiri's symbol on the forehead, signifying a Hunter-nin.
"Thank you for helping me with Zabuza, Kakashi Hatake. I have been stalking him for weeks, waiting for the best chance to strike." The Hunter-nin said, gesturing to the body. Kakashi reached over and felt for a pulse. Not finding one, the copycat ninja sighed in relief as he stood up. "He's dead. I'm glad to help."
The Hunter-nin nodded before grabbing Zabuza's arm, draping his body over his own. "I will send word of your assistance. You will receive a portion of his bounty as compensation for this. I will take my leave now." Instantly, the Hunter-nin and Zabuza's body were gone, leaving the four ninja and bridge builder alone.
Kakashi lowered his headband over his eye again before turning to his team. "Well, that's taken care of for now. Let's get go-!"
Kakashi's words were cut off as he dropped to the ground, unconscious. Naruto and Toshi ran up to the Jonin quickly, worried for his health. Toshi checked the Jonin before sighing in relief. "He's alright. He just suffered chakra exhaustion. He should be alright soon." Turning to Tazuna, Toshi snapped his fingers to get the drunk's attention. "How far is your home from here?" The boy asked quickly. Tazuna shook himself out of his stupor and responded. "My house is about a half-hour from here. Grab him and we can hurry there."
Naruto and Toshi picked up their sensei and began carrying him alongside Tazuna. Kurohi followed right behind them, sighing mentally. 'Zabuza…'
Demon: Now, chapter 13 is done.
GoodWriter: So, there's something with Kurohi and Zabuza.
Demon: Yeah, I figured I'd have some kind of situation since both are from Kiri.
Lexboss: Is there going to be some kind of situation like this with Toshi?
Demon: Possibly, but I'm trying to think of a good one. I already know who each is going to hate, though.
Creeper: I'm starting to feel a bit of a Mary-Sue vibe from these OCs of yours.
Demon: Well, as a friend of mine said, Naruto is just a show about a bunch of Mary-Sues trying to out-Mary-Sue each other. Sad thing is, he has a point.
Lexboss: Mary-Sue?
GoodWriter: It means an OC that is overpowered and basically is pretty much godlike.
Demon: However, it's too early to really show tough battles. Besides, the whole idea Kakashi tries to teach is the value of teamwork. If the group works together, they'll do better than they would apart.
Lexboss: So, same as before? Flames shoved up the flamers' asses?
Demon: With a wooden stake, ungreased. Those things are getting dusty and need a cleaning.
Creeper: Ok, now we need to go. Read and Review!
Lexboss: No flames!
(Demon laughs maniacally while holding a pointed stake)