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Chapter 9: Ice cream.

Rogue was an X-Men by 18, away from Mississippi and Mystique, but not from the load that loomed over her as months became weeks and weeks became days.

That's when cold showers and obsessively cleaning up her bedroom failed her.

And so did ice cream, though this three flavors one (chocolate, strawberry and vanilla) was pretty great. She had gone to the kitchen for some, for the third time that night. Everyone else was out in a mission and she had straight on lie to them, something about a stomach bug, so she could stay home, locked in her room, away from any penis in a two mile ratio.

She was about to reach her bedroom, a bowl in one hand and a spoon in the other, when a shudder broke her in countless pieces.

"Hey Rogue, I thought everyone was out."

She almost choked with the ice cream that was in her mouth and had to cough and clear her throat several times.

"Me too, Ah thought everyone was… in that mission, yeah."

"No, I had to stay" Bobby explained: "Remember I strained my ankle last week? Well, it's better but it's not completely okay." Rogue nodded and nodded, and nodded again, trying not to look anywhere down his neck, because blasted be her luck, he had to be wearing nothing but shorts. "I mean, I can walk and all but not run or anything like that, you know doctor Hank told me to do these exercises in the pool to help it get better? Well, I was doing that. It does feel better but I think…"

"Bobby."

"…the tendons might be… yeah?"

"Kiss me."

He had to literally shake his head, like he had just been hearing things that weren't there.

"Ha?"

"Kiss. Me. Agh, never mind, Ah'll kiss yah."

His icy breath in her mouth gave her a chill that crept to the back of her neck, like a blend of hot and cold.

(…)

Breakfast was beyond awkward the next day, with Bobby hovering over Rogue like a bee, bringing her all sorts of butters and jellies, and offering her his last waffle, while she just sat there in front of her dish, the "thanks" she obliged herself to pronounce barely audible.

They did receive a few odd gazes, but she hoped to God no one would match this weird behavior to the two of them being home alone the previous night.

Later on that day, they had a special class with the Professor and, of course, Bobby had to come scampering and take the seat by her side.

"Hi Rogue!" he chanted.

"Hi." It's indeed possible to force a smile and frown at the same time.

"Hey, I was thinking…" Professor Xavier entered the room, so conversations died right on and everyone stayed quiet: "Oh, I'll tell you later."

The class began, about fifteen people in there, paying attention to Xavier's dissertation about the future of human and mutant kinds. Then, when Kurt was asking a question and the Professor was paying attention to him, Bobby laid his hand on Rogue's desk and few seconds later, a rose made of ice materialized right there, transparent and shiny.

Rogue slowly looked to the side, getting a glimpse of a smiling and expectant Iceman.

(…)

She avoided him like the plague for what was left of the day, but she knew that, eventually, it would come to this:

"Hey Rogue!" he caught up with her, as she headed to her bedroom that night: "Hey, listen, would you like to go mini golfing tomorrow? Or to the arcade? We could go ice skating too, if you want, well that's a little biased I know, hahaha, but really, what would you like to do?"

She had to snap him back to reality, the sooner the better:

"Bobby…" It was hard to find the right words; at least, she didn't want to sound mean: "Ah'm sorry but, yesterday was a mistake…" His face fell right then: "Ah… Ah was a little drunk, yeah, that evening and Ah wasn't myself. We're friends and Ah wouldn't like to go beyond that, okay? Really, we should just forget about it."

"Oh… oh, okay… sorry… I just thought…"

"It was a huge mistake, okay? And we shouldn't tell anyone about it, please."

"No! No, of course, I won't tell anyone."

"Thanks."

They stayed standing there, wrapped in the superb awkwardness of this moment. Finally, he spoke again:

"It's, eh… actually I should thank you."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I'm not the 21 year old virgin anymore, so, thanks for that.

"Oh… okay, you're welcome, Ah guess?"

"Yeah… it was awesome!, and I just thought that we could… maybe date and…"

"No."

"Okay, I… it's fine…"

"Sorry…"

"No, it's okay…" he started walking backwards: "Have a… good night, I'll… okay."

She saw him walk away and disappear down one of the hallways.

(…)

At night, when things seem the furthest away but also the most real, staring at the ceiling and overthinking was all she seemed to be able to do. Bobby was a nice guy; didn't he deserve to have his first time with a girl that, at least, liked him and was into him? A girl that loved him and who he loved back, someone he could take to the stupid mini golf. Maybe, yes, maybe a part of him was just happy that he'd had sex, isn't that what all guys want? But still… it didn't feel right.

And it didn't feel right, either, not to know what it's like to do it out of free will, because she wanted to, because she decided to, because she cared about the other person, not like this… She was just adding more and more links to this growing chain of using people. Of regret.

Also, Bobby, a team mate, God… if anyone found out… five years from now, would she end up having fucked the majority of the mansion's male population?

These plus other insane thoughts crowded her mind. She wanted to fall asleep and forget about everything, at least for few hours. Because in reality, she could never get rid of this. She'd just have to learn to deal with it because obviously, she hadn't yet.

(…)

And at 19, when she thought she was starting to get a grip on it, she was proven wrong.

Sitting besides Piotr as the Black Bird made its way through the sky and towards the installation they would break into, she kept her teeth clenched and didn't even dare to look in his direction, because he was damn good looking, big and tall…

But you don't like him, he's your friend, he's just another guy, you don't like him, Kitty does, she has the biggest crush on him, not you, Rogue, you don't like him, please, he's not cute and gentle and strong… he's not…

They had chosen the worst day possible for this very important mission she couldn't dodge. But she trusted that getting into action would help her drain her… energy out.

Once inside the perimeter of the building, they all split up, looking for a mutant kid they were supposed to rescue. Rogue made her way down an empty hallway and stopped by to hide in the shadows and listen. Nothing. No one. So she continued, relieved that focusing in this task made her push behind the other thing she didn't want to put into words in her mind.

Closed doors at both sides of the hallway and then she heard faint noises. They were steps, so she hurried to the corner and waited. Whoever was coming, was getting closer. It was only one person. She could handle him.

Right when he was about to turn around in the corner, she hit him and made him drop his weapon, which she immediately took hold off. Then she pointed it at him and took a better look.

Curse me.

This guy was in his sort of security uniform and he looked damn good on it. Hands up in surrender, maybe out of instinct he made a gesture towards the smaller gun at the side of his belt.

"Nah ah" she said softly, and reached for the pistol. It gave her an electric shock to get near him, and with this, what was left of her senses went tumbling down to a pit. "Move" she commanded him, still pointing at him with the big weapon.

He did as she asked, entering a supplies room she had spotted in the hallway. She locked the door behind her back.

"Take your clothes off."

This probably wasn't in the book of his training:

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Take your clothes off" she repeated, gesturing with the gun: "NOW."

He did, revealing a torso that made her smile. Then, she tossed both weapons out the window.

"Whatever you people want, you won't get away with it" he said.

"Shut up."

With this, she grabbed him by the shoulders and started kissing him, as he kept his hands up in the air, eyes open and confused as hell.

"What are you doing?" he babbled.

She looked at him in the eye:

"Ah'm starting foreplay, in case yah didn't notice".

He looked down at her as she kissed his chest:

"Are you for real?"

"Yah're damn right, soldier."

(…)

Cyclops was the one to find the child, so the mission was a success, not thanks to her, that's for sure. When they were done, she gave the guy a little absorption induced nap and got out of there, meeting the others at the pre established point. So it all came out nicely, like nothing out of the ordinary had happened.

Except a team member had been having sex with a total stranger, who also happened to be a foe of their mission, while the others risked their lives to save a kid.

Back in the Black Bird, it felt strange to carry this little secret around, like anyone could guess it just by looking at her face. But it hadn't been her, back there with that guy. It had been someone else, right? Someone different or at least, someone she didn't choose to be.

Maybe the best thing to do was get it away from her mind and going back to normal. She dozed off on the way home.

Note: I was tempted to write one or two lines about safe sex in this (how did I even get to write these words?) but, after that time with Lance, in chapter 8, she said she wouldn't risk that way again, so I hope it's implied that she just doesn't risk that way anymore. Ok? Are we clear? Thanks for not making me explain it more. Also, the scene with the guy I took it directly from Dark Angel, and the ice rose scene, I think we all know where I took it from, right? ;-) The very first X-Men movie. Also, I gotta say it was really hard for me to decide whether or not to keep the security guy scene in this; but I think it's necessary. Obviously, Rogue's not perfect in this, and no angel either, and that's how I wanted to portray her. So, next chap, finally! We'll find out how our dear Gambit and Rogue got to meet. Thanks to everyone who has read and/or reviewed!

Note 2: Now, guys, I swear on my hamsters' lives that this chapter had another name, and then I was rereading it for probably the 28th time before posting it, and I noticed that Rogue was eating ice cream, and then Iceman shows up and omg, I giggled about it for quite a while, thinking "this is too much, even for me". But then I thought "what the heck" and dropped the name there anyway.

Note 3: HAPPY HOLIDAYS!