Author's note: I apologize for the delay, a million things going on! But here is the next chapter! Enjoy
NSFW WARNING! MATURE RATING KICKS IN HERE!
Chapter Eleven
Ashlyn was getting pretty frustrated. She had to talk to someone and the only one she trusted wasn't answering her omni-tool. She had no idea where EDI was, but she had to find her quick. She had fifteen minutes before she was supposed to meet with Shepard and she had to get some advice on how to deal with him and Garrus.
Everyone was probably back on the Normandy and she figured she should've checked there first, but she wanted to check the apartment once more just in case. She entered, using the entry code Shepard gave her in case she ever needed it. The door slid open and the first thing she heard was music.
"EDI?" Ashlyn called out as she entered.
The music stopped and she heard a soft voice. "Everyone's gone."
Ashlyn almost didn't recognize who it was. She'd only seen Liara a few times. Most of the time she was in her office on the Normandy, but when she did see the asari, she always seemed to give her dagger-eyes. The blue woman was seated at the grand piano that sat to the left of the doorway. The piano was a polished black and was an immaculate beauty.
"I'm sorry, I'll go." Ashlyn turned to leave.
"Please," Liara stopped her with her request, "stay a moment."
Ashlyn turned back and waited. She waited for Liara to say something, but she just continued to play. The tune was beautiful and flowed like water. She never expected Liara to have a talent for music, but it was certainly a special hidden skill.
"Do you play?" Liara asked her suddenly.
"Uh, no," Ashlyn replied.
"Come sit with me." Liara scooted over on the bench allowing room for Ashlyn to sit beside her.
Ashlyn felt slightly uncomfortable, but she obeyed and took the seat.
"Play this song." Liara played for a moment longer, then stopped.
Confused, Ashlyn again pointed out, "I don't know how."
"Sure you do, watch me closely, then you try."
Liara began to play again and Ashlyn focused on her long-fingered, delicate blue hands.
Fingers floating… dancing over keys… music flowing…
"Now you try."
Ashlyn blinked and shook her head slightly. She hesitantly brought her fingers to the keys. She began playing in a lower octave, but she played the exact song without any hitches. Her fingers danced just like Liara's and she smiled.
"That's what I thought," Liara said, "it confirms my thoughts about you."
"What do you mean?"
"You seem to have a gift, it's a gift I don't really trust, but it is a gift that allows you to copy anyone and gain their skill."
Ashlyn's brow furrowed. "So this was just a test? It wasn't you being friendly?"
Liara closed her eyes for a moment and smiled faintly. "Ashlyn, please be aware that I am very protective of my friends. You came onto the ship without question. Shepard seems fascinated with you and refuses to see the dangers in having you aboard."
"Dangers?"
"You have abilities that no one else should have. Either you were engineered to be this way or you are an anomaly. Either way, you probably have someone out there looking for you. It could hinder and endanger our mission."
Ashlyn's eyes hit the floor. "So you think I shouldn't go?"
Liara placed a hand on her shoulder. "If Shepard wants you aboard and if you want to be aboard, I do not have a place to say. I think your abilities could help us, but not knowing where you came from and how you became this way is a risk. I don't think you are a bad person. It's just the uncertainty that makes this difficult. Just promise me you won't hurt Shepard."
Ashlyn's eyes once again were on Liara, but this time they were filled with determination. "Of course I would never hurt Shepard! I might be capable of a lot of things, things that surprise me on a daily basis, but I know I'm not capable of hurting any of my friends. Believe me, the uncertainty is pretty frustrating for me too. I wake up every morning wondering if I have any family or if I have a home, but then I realize that my home is with you and Shepard and the entire Normandy crew. I will not forsake them, no matter what my past holds."
Liara smiled at her. "Thank you, Ashlyn. You've eased my mind."
Ashlyn nodded. "I hope so. Now, I've got to be somewhere."
Ashlyn thought she was angry as she stormed out of the apartment, but the more she thought about what Liara said, the more she admired the asari for approaching her. Liara was protecting her friends, just as she would. She couldn't be mad at that.
Suddenly, her omni-tool pinged.
EDI: I am sorry I missed your messages. I was powered down as my software upgraded its compatibility with the Normandy's upgrades. What's going on?
Ashlyn: I need to talk to you as soon as possible.
EDI: I just exited the Normandy, meet me by the entrance to Shepard's apartment building.
Ashlyn didn't wait long. EDI was always fast. She noticed EDI's slim sliver body as she navigated through the crowd to Ashlyn's location.
"What's wrong?" She asked with concern as she approached Ashlyn.
Ashlyn closed her eyes and shook her head. "I'm a damned idiot is what's wrong."
EDI cocked her head. "I came all this way to hear what I already know?"
Ashlyn looked up at her with a furrowed brow.
"That was a joke," EDI explained, "I apologize if it was in bad taste."
Ashlyn sighed. "I just don't know what to do."
"Well, how am I supposed to help if you don't tell me what's going on?"
"Uh," Ashlyn began, not sure how to begin, "John kissed me last night. Then… I kind of… kissed Garrus the morning after." She ran a hand over her face, knowing how horrible it must've sounded. "They both seem to have feelings for me and I don't know what to do."
"How do you feel about them?" EDI asked simply.
Ashlyn's eyes averted to the ground as she thought about her answer. "I like them both. I know that sounds terrible, but when I'm with John, I feel… relaxed. Like, I wouldn't have to try hard with him. But when I'm with Garrus, it's exciting and unique. Sometimes I feel like I can't control myself around him, but he frustrates the hell out of me sometimes. I like the feeling I get when I'm with John, but I also like the feeling I get when I'm with Garrus even though they're so different. What should I do?"
"Wow that is a hefty decision to make." EDI admitted. "Accepting one while rejecting the other could cause rifts in the team."
"Now you know my dilemma."
"I wouldn't suggest ignoring them either. Perhaps you should just let them both down until this war is over. Then you can decide on your feelings." EDI suggested.
"What if I… stay behind?"
EDI showed an obvious look of disappointment. "Don't choose to do something you don't want to do just to avoid the situation."
"How do you know I don't want to stay behind to be safe?"
"You love the Normandy too much to stay." She replied with a smile.
Ashlyn gave a faint smile, but then sighed heavily. "I think you're right about John and Garrus. I think I should just step away from them both for now."
"It will always give you time to figure out how you feel."
Ashlyn nodded, then brought EDI's cold, metallic body into an embrace. "Thanks, EDI."
"Anytime."
When Ashlyn saw John leaned over the railing, looking out at the Normandy, she felt a stab of guilt. She'd betrayed him, just as equally as she betrayed Garrus by not telling him about John and her. The stab seemed to twist in her chest like a jagged knife when he turned and smiled at her. She didn't know what to do as she stopped in front of him. Should she tell him right there? Embrace him? Kiss him one last time? As much as she wanted, she couldn't do that. She could tell by his business-like expression that this wasn't the time to discuss their relationship.
"I would really love a replay of last night," he began, making it so much worse, "but we need to talk about your decision."
"M-my decision?" She sputtered out, only thinking about her decision regarding her, him and Garrus.
"Whether or not to come with us." He explained, giving her a confused look.
She gulped hard, trying to push back her intruding thoughts. "I'd like to go. I'd like to be a full time crew member of the Normandy."
His face suddenly lit up with a smile that made Ashlyn's heart break. He went up to her and pulled her close. She wanted to push him off, but she wanted stay in his arms. When he brought his lips to hers, she immediately tensed and knew he felt it.
He pulled back, his expression was confused again. "What's wrong?"
"It's just… a lot to think about. I'm sorry."
John's lips spread into an apologetic smile. "I should be sorry. I know the decision was hard, but I'm happy to have you aboard. We take off in ten minutes. If you need to take your time, I'll give you your space."
She watched him turn to leave, regretting what her mind just made her do, but maybe it was a good thing? She realized that rejecting John and Garrus was going to be much harder than she thought.
As the Normandy left the Citadel, Ashlyn paced nervously in her quarters. She wished she had some horrible memories that she could compare to so it wouldn't feel like the worst day ever. Not only did she need to have two regretful conversations with two men she cared about, but what Liara had pointed out was still on her mind. She had the ability to copy people. She began to wonder if that's why she's able to shoot and fight and even dance. She just copied people. Just as she tried to push those depressing thoughts out of her head, it went right to her upcoming encounters with Shepard and Garrus. She even had a hard time deciding who to tell first. Would they be angry? Would they not care? Liara was right. She couldn't hurt them and not telling them the truth would hurt them terribly in the future. It was best to do it now, quick and painless so they could focus on the mission. Ashlyn decided Shepard should be first, since he had kissed her first.
Walking to the elevator felt like walking through wet sand. Her feet dragged and her chest felt heavy. As the elevator doors encased her inside, she hoped for a long trip up, just to give her more time. Unfortunately, the elevator was pretty quick and she found herself in front of Shepard's door. Her hand felt like it was made of cement as she lifted it slowly, then rapped against the metal twice.
"Come in," Shepard called from the other side.
The door opened and Ashlyn stepped in. She realized this was the first time she'd seen Shepard's quarters. The large fish tank on the left wall cast a blue glow over the large room. The bed was huge and the ceiling bore a window with stars blurring by. Shepard was sitting on the couch looking at some datapads, probably mission briefings. He stood when he saw her enter and immediately noticed the look on her face.
"What's wrong?"
"John," she began as her throat tightened, "I'd like to talk to you."
He smiled at her. "Anything."
She didn't smile back. She just looked down at the floor as she gathered her thoughts and prepared her words. Seeing her hesitance, Shepard's smile faded.
"I've been thinking about last night. It was very wonderful…"
"But?" Shepard interjected as Ashlyn paused. His tone was now low and disappointed.
"But I don't think it's a good idea to go any farther." She finally looked up at him. His expression was pained. "Garrus has also developed feelings for me."
Shepard's eyes suddenly lit up with a jealous anger. "Garrus?! How? But he's…" He stopped himself. What Garrus was wasn't important and he wanted further explanation.
"I'm sorry. I can't choose right now. I didn't think I could care about you and him so much, so fast, but I did. I have feelings for you both and it's not fair to either of you. I don't want to get in the way of your friendship, especially during this war. You need him on your side. As soon as I leave here I will be telling him the same thing. I think it's best if we all remain friends for now." She hated the words coming from her lips and seeing the pain it caused, but she knew it had to be done.
Shepard stayed quiet for a few minutes as he glanced at the floor, then back at her and then back at the floor. When he finally made a sound, it was in the form of a deep, ragged sigh. "If that is your wish," he said.
Ashlyn stood still, unsure of what to do or say next. She didn't want to leave him, but she had to tell Garrus the same thing. She needed to as quick and painless as possible, before it went too far. "I'll be going now." She stated and turned to leave. Shepard didn't make a sound as Ashlyn left the room.
The elevator trip back down felt slower than the trip up for some reason. Ashlyn felt horrible and the more she thought about what she just did and what she still had to do, the more her insides twisted. As the elevator stopped, she felt a cool drip run down her cheek. She brushed her fingertips over it. She'd been crying. The doors opened and she wiped her eyes with her forearm. She took a deep breath, then continued down the hall.
The door to the main battery made that familiar hissing sound and Ashlyn stepped in. Garrus turned slightly and his mandibles flared.
"Now to what do I owe this pleasure?" He asked as smooth as butter.
Ashlyn felt her throat tighten again, but worse. "I came to talk to you about something." Her hands found themselves wringing behind her back.
Garrus shifted his hips and crossed his arms, giving his full attention.
"I, uh, wanted to tell you that Shepard expressed feelings for me." She looked down at his two-toed feet, unable to look into his eyes.
He was silent for a moment, but eventually a small cough escaped his throat. "I know what this is about," he began. "Say no more. He is human, so it only makes sense. Not to mention he's got the glory and commands the whole ship. I figured you'd be a little apprehensive of a cross-species relationship anyway."
She looked up and noticed that his back was now facing her. She grabbed his armored shoulder and pulled him back around. "It's not about that! That kiss I shared with you was incredible, but I care about you both and... and right now I can't choose!" She made sure to keep eye contact this time, but it was so hard to give the bad news when looking into those eyes. "I don't want to come between you two. I don't want to make your mission harder. I rejected Shepard."
Garrus's facial expression suddenly changed when Ashlyn told him that she had rejected Shepard. His eyes bore into hers and it made her knees weak. His expression, the downward slant of his brow plates and the clenched mandibles, was beginning to look primal. It looked as if she just opened the window for him to attack. It frightened her, but pleased her at the same time.
"I also wanted to tell you..." Ashlyn's words were cut off by the sudden advancement of Garrus's body. She didn't even have time to breath before his mouth plates were pressed against her lips. His hands found their way to her waist and he pulled her against him. She was afraid to move at first. She didn't know what to do, but her body began acting on its own accord. Her arms wound around his neck as he started nipping down her throat. A bold, yet slight moan escaped her and it seemed to drive Garrus further. He found the hem of her shirt and dragged his fingers across it. He took a moment to release his gloves from him and they fell to the floor with a metallic sound. He found the hem once more and used one of his talons to slide it up her body a bit. Then he began exploring her soft, smooth back with his fingers, careful to keep his talons back. He reveled in the feel of her creamy skin against his bare hands, but he felt something that made him stop. A large scar stretched across her spine, marring her back. He wanted to know what asshole put it there, but he knew she wouldn't remember and at that point, he didn't want to stop for anything.
Ashlyn's mind was screaming at her, but she couldn't stop. She placed kisses along his left mandible and cheek, but his thick armor was hindering any further. Garrus must have sensed this as he stepped back to undo the latches of his chest armor. He placed the piece of equipment on the floor and Ashlyn noticed the blue undersuit that he wore beneath it. It still had the same wide neck, but it was much more form-fitting.
Garrus dove back in, placing another human kiss upon her lips. He then brushed his crest against her forehead, feeling the rebellious strands of hair tickle his face. Ashlyn's arms were back around his neck and she now had better access to the vulnerable skin there. She brushed her lips against his skin. It was thick and warm. He groaned at the contact and Ashlyn felt the vibration rumble from his throat. He pulled her shirt up further and separated for just a moment to allow the piece of clothing to be removed. Now Garrus reveled in the sight and smell of her nearly bare shoulders. He ran his mouth along them, taking in her scent. His mandibles fluttered excitedly against her skin as his desire began climbing to a new level. He was itching to get out of the rest of his armor and clothing and to get her out of hers. His breath was rapid, matching hers and he could hear their pounding heartbeats melding together in rhythm. He stepped back to remove the armor from his legs and feet.
A shiver went down Ashlyn's spine as she watched him remove the remaining armor. Fear crept into her thoughts as she felt as if she was at the point of no return.
He shifted to begin the removal of his upper suit but Ashlyn placed a hand on his chest. She felt his carapace beneath it and his thrumming heart. He paused and gazed at her questioningly.
"I, uh... are you sure this is okay?" She murmured sheepishly. "Are we even, um, compatible?"
"First off, I don't think we'd be remotely attracted to each other if we weren't, second, I've heard from various resources that turians and humans are compatible to a... certain extent and lastly, I just don't give a damn." His smoldering expression and his dangerous tone caused her breath to hitch. "And frankly, I don't think you do either."
She wanted to reply. Part of her even wanted to protest, but she didn't. She continued to watch as Garrus pulled the upper part of his undersuit over his head. It fell to the floor, nestling over his various pieces of armor.
Ashlyn recalled seeing the pictures of turian biology on her omni-tool, remembering the carapace and the cowl, but nothing compared to seeing it in front of her, heated with passion. His cowl perched on his shoulders, surrounding his neck. His carapace matched the grey of his face plates and though Garrus was the first turian she'd seen partially nude, she could tell he had an impressive body. There were some parts of him that showed skin like his neck. His biceps, a small section of his wrists and his waist. She had the sudden urge to touch every little vulnerable spot she saw, but his next barrage of turian "kisses" and nips were upon her again.
He reached for the garment that covered her breasts. He pulled at the front while kissing her left shoulder. It didn't budge. He pulled the back as he nipped at her neck. He found clasps, but damn they were impossible to unhook!
His head lifted as he murmured, "What the hell..."
Ashlyn had to stifle a laugh, but Garrus gave up finding the right way to take it off. He ended up just pulling it up and over her head.
Ashlyn trembled as the cool recycled air hit her exposed breasts. She turned beet red as she noticed Garrus was staring down at them with furrowed brow plates.
"These are... curious things." He said in a near whisper. "But the vids said they are erogenous zones."
Vids? Ashlyn thought. Did he watch vids on how to have sex with a human?
Her thoughts quickly disappeared when Garrus's hands landed on her breasts. A breathy moan came from her and he began to knead and massage them.
So soft! Garrus's mind screamed as worked Ashlyn's breasts, careful not to scratch her. He ran his tongue along her shoulder up to her neck and across her jawline, causing even more delicious noises to escape from her. He pressed his mouth plates against hers once more, a peculiar, but not all that bad human gesture. Her lips were warm, moist and oh so soft. It was something he definitely could get used to. Her lips parted and her small pink tongue ventured out. Garrus followed suit, remembering how good it felt before. It felt a million times better now that he could feel her skin against his. Her tongue found his and began twirling and dancing with it. Feeling her wet tongue tangling with his as their bodies pressed together sent electric shocks down him. Yes, he could definitely get used to this, but he was nearing a point of detonation. He needed to be inside her. It was no longer a question of should or shouldn't. It was beyond his mental control now.
Without moving his mouth from hers, Garrus found the edge of her pants and slowly pulled them down past her buttocks. Another curious, but pleasant thing. He thought as his talons grazed the soft skin.
Ashlyn separated and bent down to pull off her boots, then, very shakily removed the rest of her clothing. As she was leaned down, her eye caught ahold of the fairly large bulge that impatiently waited within the confines of Garrus's pants. She gulped hard. This really was the point of no return. She was going to have sex with an alien. She was scared, but excited. Simply thinking about the next moments to come made her knees weak and the sensitive area between her legs moist.
Once Ashlyn was back up, Garrus lunged at her. She heard a mix of a growl and a purr emanating from his throat as he grabbed her backside and lifted her. Her legs wrapped around his small waist and hooked perfectly onto his extended hips. He backed her into the weapons table, sending a few tools to the floor. He felt himself now throbbing against the apex between her thighs. He could feel the warmth and the wetness even through his pants and it drove him wild.
Ashlyn caught a glimpse of his eyes as he removed his visor and tossed it onto the terminal behind them. He looked hungry, dominant and unstoppable. His mandibles fluttered as he kicked off his final piece of clothing. He wrapped his arms around her small frame and slowly slid himself inside her.
Garrus's instincts pushed him to plunge into her, relentless and hard, but he didn't want to hurt her. She was soft and fragile and he had to be tender, plus he wasn't exactly sure how this would actually feel. Now that it was happening, he knew it wasn't a mistake. She was hot and slick, unlike a turian female who usually had a bit of roughness to their core. It was so different, yet so intoxicating. He was fully prepared to lose himself within her.
Ashlyn moaned dreamily as she felt Garrus slowly enter her. He was hard and thick, bearing what seemed to feel like small little ridges along the shaft which caused pulses of pleasure to course through her every insertion he made. Her arms found their way around his neck again and her hands began to wander. She stroked and tickled the skin she found between his plates and beneath his fringe. He made a low, primal sound when she did this, which proved he liked it. So she continued. He went on with his slow pace and Ashlyn got the idea that he was afraid of hurting her. Having his hard carapace press against her was a little uncomfortable, but it excited her even more. She gathered her bravery and whispered in his ear. "Garrus..."
Garrus shivered at the sound of his name rolling off her tongue in an ecstasy filled voice.
"Garrus..." she said again, "harder... please..."
His body went rigid. She really liked it. She wanted more of him and he was eager to oblige. He sped up as her nails dug into the flesh beneath his fringe. He growled and nipped at her shoulder. He wanted so badly to bite her, mark her for his own, but he knew she wouldn't understand what that meant. That part of him he was able to control, but he could not and would not stop his now harder, quicker pace. It was too good and she was making the most wonderful noises.
Ashlyn was certain this was the most thrilling experience she'd ever felt. She might have a bruise or two and little scratches where Garrus's talons dug into her hips, but she didn't care. His groin plates pressed up against her sensitive nub each time he thrust into her, causing a rush of escalating pleasure. It climbed higher and higher until she cried out his name as it came crashing down upon her, shattering her into a million pieces.
Garrus felt her tighten around him. Her inner muscles clenched and pulled him in deeper. She cried out his name and that was it for him. A blaze swept over him as he found his own release, shuddering with each final thrust. As he came down from the high of his climax, he realized he was panting, as was she. Their hearts were both pounding. Her body was slick with sweat and it glistened like diamonds in the dim glow of the battery. She'd never looked more beautiful and he'd never thought he'd be looking at a human the way he looked at Ashlyn now. He pressed his mouth plates to her lips affectionately as he slid out of her. As his member began to shrink back into the protectiveness of his groin plates, he lifted her off the weapons table. He wasn't sure what to say.
Ashlyn didn't look at him as she gathered up her clothes. Now that reality was beginning to set back in, the guilt was too. As good as it was, it was never meant to happen. She had betrayed John… again.
"Are you okay?" Garrus asked finally as he watched her pull on her undergarments.
"Um, I know you're pretty open with Shepard, but please don't tell him about this." She stated bluntly, feeling utterly ashamed.
His mandibles twitched. "I won't." He watched her finish putting the rest of her clothes on and watched her leave in silence. For some reason, he felt as if he'd disappointed her. As the doors closed behind her, he got dressed himself and went back to his calibrating, though concentrating was now proving to be a chore.