Author's note: Here's a little update. Now that I have a little more time on my hands I should be able to complete this story fairly quickly. Thank you to everyone who has read and I hope you enjoy!

Chapter Seventeen

When they arrived at the Forward Operating Base, Garrus, Ashlyn and Shepard separated. Ashlyn noticed that most of the Normandy crew had rendezvoused here. She saw Tali, Liara, Vega and all the others except Joker and EDI who were still on the Normandy. Ashlyn wasn't sure what to do. She restocked on ammo, checked the damage to her suit and bandaged her injured shoulder. As she looked around the base, she spotted Shepard talking to Tali for a moment then he moved on to Liara. She noticed they looked somewhat saddened when they talked. She wanted to inquire, but also didn't want to interrupt. Her attention was drawn to two officers who were also watching Shepard as he approached Kaiden.

"I'd hate to be Commander Shepard right now." One said to the other.

"Why's that?" Replied the other.

"Having to pretty much say goodbye to each one of your squadmates. I don't think I could handle it."

The second one shook his head. "We can't say whether or not it's goodbye. You don't have faith in Shepard?"

"If I was jumping head first into an ancient weapon with no clue how to activate it in order to save the galaxy, I would make sure I said goodbye to my squad. It's not about having faith, it's making sure your brothers in arms know that you care about them before it's too late to tell them."

Ashlyn's chest suddenly ached. Shepard was saying his possible final words to each of his friends and partners. She wanted to cry. There was such a mixture of sympathy, fear and hope for victory inside her she could hardly contain it.

She continued to watch Shepard as he climbed to the upper level of the building they claimed as their base. He made his way to where Garrus stood. She couldn't hear their conversation, but Garrus himself looked saddened and the talk ended with Shepard patting Garrus's shoulder in a brotherly way.

Ashlyn realized that this could be the last opportunity she had to speak to either of them. The thought made her sick to her stomach and Garrus's message rang in her ears: it's a good excuse to remind the people you care about that… well you care about them. She almost didn't want to do it because it meant facing the chance that they might not make it back alive, but that reason also made her do it. She knew they would win, she just didn't know what the cost would be.

Ashlyn climbed the ramp and her eyes fell upon Garrus standing as stoic as always with gun in hand. His icy blues fell upon her as she approached him. Ashlyn cracked a forced half smile as he kept as expressionless as stone.

"So," she began nonchalantly, "I guess this is it."

He gave her a curt nod. "I guess so."

She stepped closer and placed a hand on his forearm. "Look, about that message before we left the Normandy," she looked away for a moment, then back at him, "I should've said something more. Everything's just so damned complicated. I didn't want to make it sound like I didn't care. I…" she looked away again, "I just can't express what I'm feeling."

Garrus brought a finger to her chin and turned her face towards his. He spoke to her in a low voice so that no one nearby could hear. "Try me. It might be your last chance. It won't upset me even if it's not what I want to hear."

Ashlyn sighed and suddenly, it was like a dam had broken and began pouring thoughts from her mind to her mouth. "When I see John, I feel happy and relaxed and stuff. When I see you it's like my brain can't function or something. It gets all fuzzy and euphoric and damn it all if it isn't addictive. I can't seem to think straight and maybe that's why I pushed you away, I don't know. Maybe I was scared or maybe I was worried about what the future would hold for us. I always just got caught up in the moment with you, but if you think about the technicality of it, you're a turian, I'm some fucked up Cerberus experiment and we're in the middle of a war against giants hell-bent on wiping out our existence." Her head dropped as she took a deep breath. She wasn't sure if it was because she had just blurted out everything in one breath or because it was a relief to get her feelings out to Garrus. "Then you found out what I was and it hurt you. I'm not Saren, I'm not Sidonis, I would never ever in a million years betray you, no matter where I came from or what was inside me."

At first Garrus wondered with shock how she knew those names, but then he realized she could navigate the Normandy's records without even batting an eye. "I know that now," he murmured, "I just wish I would've realized before it was too late." He desperately wanted to pull her close and kiss her after hearing her confession, but he respected her wishes.

"Me too," she whispered softly.

She turned to head out the door and opened her omni-tool. She wished she could say goodbye to everyone, but she didn't think she would have time or be able to stop herself from crying. She did want to make sure she said goodbye to one of her closest friends though.

Ashlyn: Hey EDI. I know you're probably busy on the Normandy, you know, fighting in the war and all. I just wanted to take a moment to really thank you for all that you've done. I don't know how things will turn out, but I just wanted you to know that you that you are and always will be my best friend.

EDI responded a few minutes later.

EDI: Don't act like we won't ever see each other again. You will always be my friend as well Ashlyn. I'll see you when all this is over.

She smiled when she looked up from EDI's message and then she saw Shepard heading for Admiral Anderson.

"Joh-" she nearly called out his first name, but then realized it was probably out of order, so instead she called out, "Shepard!"

He turned and smiled as he ambled toward her.

"You ready for this?" He asked.

"Not really," Ashlyn joked, but then got serious, "but I want those Reapers blown out of existence."

Shepard chuckled, "I know what you mean."

He looked to the ground as if he ran out of things to say.

"John," she said softly enough so no one else heard, "I know I said it before, but I'm sorry."

He met her eyes and his grey orbs looked pained. "You don't have to apologize, Ashlyn. I let my emotions get the best of me just as you and Garrus did. With all that's going on, I should've known there wasn't room for lovers' triangles. Though, it doesn't change how I feel about you. When we've won this thing, and once you've decided where your heart will take you, you let me know. No matter your decision, you'll always hold a piece of my heart." He then leaned forward and kissed her lightly on the cheek.

When he turned back towards Anderson, Ashlyn let a tear escape and quickly wiped it away. Suddenly, shouting rang across the base. Ashlyn snapped to attention and realized the base was being attacked. She watched Shepard, without hesitation, jump on a turret and begin taking out the incoming horde. Garrus came from the building onto the barricade and put his skills to use. Ashlyn gathered herself, buried her emotions and climbed up to the top of the barricade as well. She found a place next to Garrus and began firing at the oncoming husks and marauders. She and Garrus glanced at each other for a brief moment, then continued as Shepard's turret caused the barricade to pulse with each shot like a heartbeat.

When the Reaper forces were thinned and the rest retreated, Shepard hopped out of the turret and asked his squadmates to meet with him. Ashlyn gathered with Garrus and the rest inside. They all stood shoulder to shoulder with Shepard at the head, facing them.

Shepard began speaking in his strong commander tone about hope, strength and victory. Ashlyn wanted to listen, but all sound became an inaudible hum as she attempted to mentally prepare herself. Before she knew it, Shepard was done speaking and everyone dispersed each wearing solemn expressions. She and Garrus stayed in position as Shepard commanded them to move out.

After they were about half a mile out from the base, Ashlyn saw the Conduit in the distance and the bright column of light strengthened her determination. She could see their goal and she was sure the others saw it too. She wanted to just make a break for it, but it wasn't that easy. Shepard just announced to them that a Hammer platoon got pinned down and they were going to assist.

She followed her commander's directive as they headed to the platoon. They fought through a thick wall of zombified creatures and the platoon was set free to fight some more. Once their objective was complete, Shepard stopped and faced Garrus and Ashlyn.

"Our path to the Conduit is ahead, but the bad news is that a Reaper destroyer is now blocking the path. I've been given the coordinates of a Thanix missile truck close to here. We're going to make our way to that missile truck and take out the destroyer. Then we should have a clear shot to the Conduit."

Garrus and Ashlyn both nodded even though they both felt the pressure of this difficult mission. Taking out a Reaper destroyer wouldn't be easy. And the Reapers wouldn't make it easy to get to the truck.

They followed Shepard through the rubble of the destroyed city and into a building. They used the shelves for cover as they fought off wave after wave of enemies, slowly advancing to their next objective. Now it felt like killing was a natural thing. Ashlyn was getting head shots with ease, enough to make Garrus shout, "Damn!" after getting what was probably her twentieth in a row.

"Easy now, Garrus," Shepard replied to his comment, "we wouldn't want Ashlyn getting an ego."

"Oh, I don't want to imagine her with an ego." Garrus said with a faked dread in his tone.

"Too late," Ashlyn joked as she scored another, "I am the best in the universe."

The two men chuckled in unison and Ashlyn smiled as she ducked from a marauder's gunfire. She had to admit it felt good fighting alongside them, fighting for something and actually having the odds tip closer and closer into their favor. It excited her and drove her knowing their win was in reach. It also made her feel good that the three of them were talking and joking together, though it was probably the only thing keeping them cool given the situation.

"There's the missile truck!" Shepard called out and Ashlyn spotted the large vehicle outside of the building they were in.

Garrus and Ashlyn watched his back as Shepard prepared the missiles. Even when EDI had to remotely charge the batteries as they held off a barrage of enemies, Ashlyn didn't lose hope. The Reaper destroyer's beam was getting closer and she began to feel the hot, deadly energy of it. It tickled her skin and caused the small hairs on her body to stand on end. Finally, the missiles were prepped and the destroyer was in range. Shepard fired the missiles and they flew into the destroyer, exploding on impact. The giant fell and Shepard shouted to the entire Hammer force, "The path to the Conduit is clear! Everyone move out!"

Another voice was heard. Ashlyn guessed it was Admiral Anderson. "Harbinger has landed near the Conduit and is fighting us off!"

"Just make it to the Conduit!" Shepard took off faster than either Ashlyn or Garrus had ever seen. They both followed, pumping their legs with all their energy.

Ashlyn noticed that the closer they got to the Conduit, the more others were joining them, all running as fast as they could towards it. They were even joined by Admiral Anderson. The Reaper, Harbinger, as Anderson identified, was putting up a heavy fight. Its shots were hitting close and gliding across the earth leaving a trail of burning soil. People were getting caught in its path and everyone was dropping like flies. Vehicles were being hit and being thrown like toys. Ashlyn kept her legs pumping forward. She could hear Garrus right behind her, but Shepard was a few feet ahead. Suddenly, a nearby vehicle was hit and exploded. The impact slammed into her and her vision went dark.