Alice rooted through her bag, checking again for her flight paperwork. Satisfied that everything was in order, she tucked it under her seat and turned her attention back to her phone. The screen showed the text from Lexie that came in before she had switched the airplane mode on, which she had ignored. Lexie was all excited for her to come home, but Alice couldn't shake the sting of betrayal she felt for being left out of the loop of the major news of her pregnancy. Lost in her thoughts, Alice was startled by the jarring motion of the plane touching down. Mercifully, her luggage appeared quickly and the security and customs lines were brief.
Alice made her way through the crowds of tired travelers, anxiously searching the area where relatives and friends gathered to pick their loved ones up. Finally, she caught sight of Lexie. Although she was upset that Lexie was hiding her pregnancy, that took a backseat to her overwhelming happiness at being reunited with the adored surgeon. Weaving through groups of people, she closed the short distance between them and all but threw herself at Lexie as she wrapped her arms around her in a tight hug. After a few long moments, the pair disentangled themselves from their embrace. Alice picked up her bags as they headed in the direction of the parking lot.
"I really missed you, Lexie. I'm glad to be home." Violet had been encouraging her to be more mindful and expressive with her emotions, which was extremely difficult for the stoic teen who had spent so long avoiding her emotions.
"I missed you so much too, we all did. Mark wanted to be here to pick you up as well, but he's in surgery all day."
"I almost forgot how busy you guys get. It's a lot calmer at the practice." Alice replied. She watched as Lexie's smile faltered for a second and what looked like guilt flashed through the surgeon's eyes.
"So you really like it over there?" The brunette asked, opening the glass door in front of her for her younger companion. The two of them stepped out into the parking lot and Alice shivered involuntarily at the breeze.
"Yeah. I mean, I miss everyone here. The weather's a little nicer though." Alice admitted, scanning the parking lot for Lexie's car. She spotted the small blue vehicle a few rows in and stepped onto the pavement, her guardian following close behind.
"I can imagine. Are you getting along with Amelia and Addison?" Alice rolled her eyes as they neared the car and Lexie popped the trunk.
"Yes. They're actually really helpful. I don't think Addison and I have really connected or anything yet, but I like Amelia a lot." Lexie nodded in understanding as she helped Alice to put her bags in the trunk. She had figured that the teenager would take more quickly to Amelia.
"I'm sure it'll just take time for you all to get completely used to each other. Everyone's waiting at the residents' house, but if you want to stop somewhere and get something to eat first, I'm sure they can wait." Lexie offered as the two of them got into the front of the car. Alice shook her head and glanced down at her phone.
"No, I'm kind of anxious to see everyone. And I ate on the plane," the teenager paused for a second, "Is Jo going to be there?"
"Yeah. You a little nervous?" Lexie asked, starting the engine and pulling out of the parking lot. The airport was only about 10 minutes from the house, which was exactly why she had suggested going for food. She had a feeling that Alice was going to be a tad anxious about meeting a family member she had only recently discovered, considering her track record with relatives.
"A little. It's just that she's a surgeon and all accomplished and I'm the drug addict that had to be sent to LA." Alice's eyes wandered to the window and Lexie noticed that her unwillingness to make eye contact hadn't changed.
"Honey, you're a lot more than that. I don't know a lot of teenagers that have survived what you have and saved a surgeon's life." Alice blushed at Lexie's reminder and kept her eyes fixed out the window.
"Still. Does she know about the, um, overdose? And the fact I dated a girl. And that time I pulled a knife on Jessica. Actually, both times I pulled a knife on Jessica?" Alice listed every huge issue she could think of at the present moment and then turned to look at Lexie nervously.
"No. We didn't tell her the specifics. That's up to you. All she knows is that you've had some trouble with drugs and that your parents are terrible, awful people." Lexie responded, rounding the corner onto the resident house's street. Alice sucked in a deep breath as she felt a huge wave on anxiety begin to swell up. The teenager attempted to focus on her breathing as they pulled up to the familiar building. She struggled to force away the flashbacks of waking up on the sidewalk as she stepped out of the car and instead chose to put her mind on the fact that she was about to see some of the people she had been missing terribly. Hurrying up the stairs, Alice burst through the front door.
"Alice!" A collective chorus of voices cried and the teenager hardly had time to prepare herself before she was bombarded.
"You finally put a little meat on your bones! What kind of LA exercise plans do they have out there?" Callie exclaimed, hugging Alice tightly and practically gasping when she didn't feel the teenager's bones sticking out.
"Yeah, well, it was all Addison's pasta and long runs on the beach." She chuckled, turning her attention to the blonde pediatric surgeon hugging her from the other side.
"And you got a tan!" Arizona squealed, pulling back from the teen. Alice blushed, yet nodded and then quickly scanned the room. There were more people than she expected. Meredith and Derek soon stepped forward to give her a hug and she couldn't help but notice the extreme similarity between the neurosurgeon and his sister. Next in line were Christina and Owen, and then Alice found herself face to face with Jessica.
"Hey there." The psychiatrist said, her trademark smirk plastered across her face. Despite their past, Alice managed to smile back and hugged her.
"Hey there Devil Shrink." The teenager winked. She watched as Jessica arched an eyebrow and rolled her eyes before turning her attention to the last two in the room. Alex, and the girl who presumably was her sister.
"Sup kid." Alex waved, stepping forward and tugging the brunette beside him forward. The living room got substantially quieter and Alice felt her heart rate spike again.
"Hi. I guess you're Jo?" The teenager asked awkwardly. She couldn't help but admit the resemblance between herself and the doctor. Suddenly very self-conscious, Alice tugged her sweatshirt sleeves down further.
"Yeah, um, that's me. And you're Alice." The nervous edge in Jo's voice managed to give Alice a tiny bit of comfort. At least she was anxious about the situation too.
"That's me. I'm kind of infamous around here. It's nice to meet you." Alice forced a laugh and awkwardly stuck her hand out, not knowing if it was acceptable to hug her yet. To her relief, Jo laughed as well and shook it immediately.
"Well I'll be." A voice broke the momentary silence that had fallen upon the room. Alice turned her head, immediately recognizing the tone of her ex-therapist. "It's all in the smile, and your eyes. They're identical." Jessica explained. Jo shot her a puzzled glance, not quite sure how to respond.
"Yeah, it runs in the family, the amber irises. Everyone on my dad's side has got them…" Alice tried to diffuse the weird energy in the room, but in her haste ended up saying something that was next to no help at all. She cringed as a flashback to memories of her father threatened to take hold, desperately trying to fight it off with about the same success one might have with building a sandcastle in the midst of incoming tide. Deceivingly perceptive and empathetic to flashbacks, Owen was first to intervene with the swiftness of any good trauma surgeon.
"I bet Alice would like some time to unwind after her travels, and we've all got obligations to take care of at the hospital I'm sure." Alice shot him a grateful smile, as everyone in the room started getting organized to leave. With a chorus of goodbyes, surgeons took their leave until the only remaining people in the house were Alex and Jo, Mark and Lexie, and Alice.
"Why don't you two go out for a bit? Catch up over manicures, or whatever it is you ladies do?" Mark suggested with a grin, holding up his hands in mock defense as Alice playfully smacked him.
"Manicures, no. Catch up, definitely. Is that good with you, Alice?" Lexie piped up. The teen's grin faded ever so slightly as she realized that long talks almost inevitably led to difficult topics, but she wasn't going to miss an opportunity to spend time with her favorite Grey.
"Okay, let's go out to lunch then?" Lexie suggested, arching her eyebrow in anticipation for Alice's response. She could tell that the teenager had definitely been eating a bit more, but couldn't help remember her unwillingness to eat before leaving.
"I ate on the plane actually. How about a coffee run?" There wasn't a hint of insincerity in Alice's voice, and Lexie surprisingly found herself believing her.
"You always have loved your Starbucks. Let's go." Alice quickly waved goodbye to everyone and followed Lexie out of the house. As excited as she was to catch up with everyone, the welcoming crowd had been a bit overwhelming. She made sure to remind herself to make time for Callie and Arizona before she had to hop on a flight back to LA.
"You want to walk or drive?" Lexie asked, pulling the teenager back out of her thoughts. Alice thought for a moment and decided that a walk on her old running route would be nice.
"Walk." She answered definitely. With that, the two of them started towards the coffee shop at a leisurely pace. They filled the venture with small talk, knowing that there was no use getting into the deep stuff until they were situated with their coffees.
Within 15 minutes, Lexie and Alice had reached the vacant Starbucks and gotten their drinks. They had just sat down at a table when another figure walked in through the front door and Alice froze. It was her ex-girlfriend.
"Don't act weird." Alice mumbled to Lexie, who glanced around in confusion. The surgeon froze when she spotted the teenage girl and her gaze narrowed. The hope that she wouldn't be spotted disappeared as Alice watched Anna catch her eye from across the café and start over towards her.
"Alice, oh my god, um, hey. You look great. Where've you been?" The petite girl asked, nearing their table. Alice nudged Lexie under the table to keep her quiet and smiled up at Anna.
"LA actually. And thank you." Alice replied, noticing the fact that her ex was staring her up and down, wide-eyed.
"So are you back in town for good now?" Hiding a scoff, Alice bit her lip. She couldn't believe the girl that had dumped her was trying to flirt right now.
"No. I got back in a few days. You and what's-his-name still together?" Alice asked, arching an eyebrow. She watched as Anna's cheeks burned red and she averted her gaze.
"We actually broke up after a few weeks. Well, it was nice seeing you." Anna's voice died down as she walked away and Alice turned her attention back to Lexie.
"I can't believe her. She was looking at you like a piece of freaking meat." Lexie's voice was laced with disbelief as she watched Alice's ex-girlfriend place her order up at the counter.
"Eh, it's whatever. I mean, I know I look a lot different. So…you're pregnant." Alice went straight to the point. She watched, a bit guiltily, as Lexie averted her gaze and tentatively put a hand on her stomach.
"I'm so sorry I didn't tell you. I was just trying to wait for the right time, and I didn't want to screw up your progress." She apologized softly. Despite the initial anger that Alice had felt upon realizing that Lexie had been hiding something so big from her, she shook her head.
"It's fine. I completely understand. So when's the little nugget due?" Lexie smiled in relief as she realized the brunette wasn't mad at her anymore.
"In about 6 months. We'll fly you home the week I'm due, or as soon as something happens," Lexie paused a bit awkwardly for a few seconds, "So honestly. How've you been doing? How's therapy?"
"Better than it went with Jessica. I mean, I know a lot of people think she's good, but her methods were a little harsh." Alice admitted.
"I know. You two really just weren't a good match. I'm glad you found someone who's helping. You haven't…you haven't used again, right?" Silence rested between the two of them for a second. Alice took a small sip of her coffee before answering.
"No. I haven't. Don't you trust me enough to have told you if I had? Or at least Amelia and Addison would have." Alice couldn't keep the hint of hurt out of her voice at the question.
"Of course I trust you and them. I just…I had to ask, you know? We've been worried about you. You know…we don't really hear from you a lot anymore." Lexie admitted apologetically.
"I know. Between school and therapy and working out, I just get really busy. I'll try to call you more."
"So how is school? Have you met anyone?" Lexie asked, raising her eyebrows. She was relieved to hear that the younger girl had been doing well with her recovery.
"School's okay. And, well, I met this one girl and she and I are getting along pretty well. I'm not quite sure she rolls my way though." Alice admitted.
Lexie nodded hesitantly. Of course she wanted Alice to find someone who she could be happy with, but the surgeon couldn't help but fear that the new girl would end up breaking Alice's hard like Anna had and send the recovering teen into a tailspin. "Just be careful, alright?" Lexie said at last, alluding to the awkward encounter they had just faced with Anna and the months of emotional turmoil prior to that. Alice rolled her eyes briefly, but she understood the root of Lexie's concern nonetheless.
"So, you and Mark are obviously living together then?" Alice swiftly changed the focus off of herself, also choosing to bring up living arrangements as the anxiety about where she would be staying and who she would be with while in Seattle continued to gnaw away at her.
"We're staying in Mark's apartment, for now anyways. Once the baby is here and starts to get a bit older, we are obviously going to get a house, but for now that's not top priority. Callie and Arizona are still in their bungalow; Meredith and Derek are in the house they have built for themselves and the kids on that big woods property, and as you saw, Alex is living in what used to be our Residents' house with Jo." Alice nodded with wide eyes, trying to keep track of all of the changes that happened while she was gone. Being so attuned to the teen, Lexie picked up on her stress instantly.
"How would you feel about staying the night in your old room at Alex's? You can spend some time with Jo, in private and with no unexpected interruptions from a very remorseful ex." Lexie couldn't help but grin with pride for the small victory that Alice had just a few minutes past; the once sick and emotionally wrecked teen was finding her way back to the charismatic and bright teen that had saved Lexie's life while clinging to her own.
"Yeah, I guess that's a good idea. Can I ask you something?" There was an edge of anxiety in Alice's voice and Lexie nodded immediately.
"Of course you can."
"Does Jo actually want to be doing this? Or does is she just meeting me because Alex wants her to?" Lexie couldn't help but sigh as she watched the teenager's insecurity take over.
"Look, Jo has not had an easy life. She doesn't have any family. From what I've heard, she was passed around between foster homes and never really found a temporary one. So she's just about as confident in this as you are. Alex says she's been freaking out all week. Just give it a chance. Let her in. She's not going to hurt you." Alice glanced down at her coffee and nodded reluctantly.
"Okay. Can I stay with Arizona and Callie sometime before I leave too? I'd like to get caught up with them."
"I'm sure they would love that. Do you want to get going? I'm sure it'd be nice if you could have dinner with Alex and Jo." Lexie prompted. Alice couldn't help but smirk at the fact she was making no attempt to be subtle about this, but nodded anyways. The two of them rose from their booth, threw their cups away, and started back towards the residents' house.
The doorbell rang, and Alice visibly flinched. The sudden interruption to the silence that hung in the air as Jo and Alice ran out of topics for idle chat startled the teen, who had slipped into the long-buried memories now that she was back in the environment where so much had happened. The older of the pair pretended not to notice, giving a slight smile as she stood up to go answer the door. Conversation that Alice couldn't quite make out filled the air and a few moments later Jo reappeared with a pizza box in clutch.
"Kitchen, or out here?" The resident offered with a smile.
"Here's good. I'll go grab some plates." Alice offered, standing up and making her way to the kitchen. Acting on instinct, she had no trouble locating the plates, napkins and cups that she was looking for; leave it to Alex to keep the place exactly the same, likely out of laziness if nothing else. Memories of the countless times she had spent in this very same kitchen with Lexie washed over her, some days where they would be doubled over in fits of laughter, others in screaming matches as she stubbornly refused to eat. Snapping back into reality, she realized that Jo was still waiting on her and hurried back out with the plates.
"Find everything ok?" Jo asked?
"Yeah, not a thing has changed since I left, although it is Alex that we're talking about so I can't say that I'm exactly surprised." Alice winked. The older girl nodded, her eyes shining with amusement. "I wasn't sure what you drink, so I figured I would let you get yourself what you want." Alice explained as she handed over the empty glass. Jo popped into the kitchen, reappearing only moments later with a can of Sprite.
"Guilty pleasure." She shrugged, before taking a seat beside Alice on the couch, who reached out and cracked the lid on the box to reveal a large, extra-cheese with pepperoni and tomato pizza. Each girl helped herself to a slice, and finally Jo sat back, waiting patiently for Alice to take the lead on the conversation.
"I don't even know where to start. How do you even have a conversation like this? I mean, it isn't exactly casual dinner chat." Worry colored Alice's tone, it was obvious she was expecting Jo to judge her for what she was about to reveal.
"Just go from the beginning. How did you and Lexie meet?" Alice finally took a small bite out of her otherwise untouched slice, stalling for time.
"You must remember the shooting, the one where the husband of a dead patient came back with one hell of a vendetta? I was there; I got caught in the fire. I was the only patient to be hit. Lexie found me, and was trying to save me when the gunman came back. She was one of the surgeons on his hit list," a look of disgust passed over Jo's face "and I talked him out of shooting her. We kind of saved each other that day. From there, Lexie took me in while I was healing- Jerry and Lisa were out of town, God only knows what they were up to. I recovered, they came back, and I moved out, not seeing Lexie for a few months after. As you've probably figured, they were abusive- Jerry was always worse though, especially when he was drunk, which was pretty much always by that point. One night, he got too carried away. Lisa at least had the good sense to get me to the hospital so that they didn't have a really serious problem on their hands, so they dumped me at the SGMW emergency room and booked it out of town. That's when the real demons took hold; physical recovery was long and painful, but nothing compared to the mental struggle. I relied on painkillers to cope and I was addicted instantly. When I started to get back on my feet, I had another run-in with Jerry and Lisa that left me worse off than where I started. After that, everyone tried their damnedest to get me clean and help me recover but I was too far gone. I didn't want the help, not truly anyways. We realized that if this was going to work, I needed to commit and I needed to get out of Seattle; being here in the state I was in was just too toxic. So, that's how I ended up in LA- I'm staying with Amelia, who is Derek's sister, and her ex sister-in-law and closest friend, Addison." Finally, Alice took a pause from her rambling. The pent up nervous energy had fueled an endless recount of the somewhat censored story of her past. At last, she gathered up the courage to look up from her lap and meet the gaze of her sister. Jo's eyes were trained on her, an expression of the strange meld of shock, concern and admiration shaping her flawless features. Much to Alice's surprise, she couldn't detect even a hint of judgment or pity.
"Wow." She breathed at last, not quite sure how to respond. "Alice, I'm so sorry. I knew that they were out there somewhere, but I had no idea that they had you. I should have tried harder to trace them down, to uncover the truth and get you out-" the resident was the one who was rambling now.
"No, it's fine. Really, don't go down that path and beat yourself up over something you couldn't have possibly known about. Take it from me- the 'what if' game is torture. I'm not upset or regretful over what happened, because no one has the power to change the past. When you've been where I have, you have to realize that the only thing you can do is focus on the future because if you linger in the past you'll be out of a future to move forward to at all."
Jo squinted at the younger girl for a few seconds before replying. It was hard for her to believe that those words had just come from a teenager. "So you're clean now? Or at least you're doing well?"
"Yeah. I've been sober since I left. California was kind of a fresh start for me." Alice replied. The fact that she had managed to stay clean for this long was a surprise to even herself, but it was something that she was now grateful for. She could be having a very different, much harder conversation right now if she hadn't gotten back on her feet a bit.
"Good. I...I know that must have been hard for you. And I think that you should know I really don't have a great past either. As you probably know, I was in the system for a while. But eventually, I bailed and to keep this simple...I spent high school living in my car." Alice's eyes widened and she attempted to hide her surprise. Alex hadn't told her any of this on the phone. Quite frankly she was taken aback.
"I had no idea. I'm really sorry." The teenager said quietly.
"You don't have to be sorry. I mean, I mostly did alright for myself and I'm in a good spot now. Alice, I just want you to know that I'm here to help you through all of this now. I know you're going to go back to California but just know that you can always come and stay here if you need it. You really mean a lot to everyone here and I want to get to know you as well as they all seem to." Jo stopped talking and stared at her younger sibling anxiously, hoping that she hadn't been too eager. To her relief, Alice nodded a bit before replying.
"Yeah. I mean, yeah, um, I want to get to know you too. And as long as it's okay with Lexie, I'll try to come visit and stuff."
"I'd love that. And with her having the baby and all, I'm sure you'll be back in a few months anyways." Jo pointed out before stifling a yawn. Alice suppressed a smirk as she remembered what it was like to live with hardcore surgeons.
"You work tomorrow?" The teenager asked, throwing her pizza crusts in the now empty box on the coffee table. Jo nodded and threw her's in as well.
"Then go get your sleep. Trust me, I know how much you guys need it. I've dealt with my fair share of sleep deprived surgeons." Alice chuckled, standing up and taking the pizza box with her. The teenager quickly tossed it into the garbage can in the kitchen and then awkwardly stepped back into the living room. She wasn't exactly sure where to go from here.
"I'm sure living here when all the residents were here taught you that. Well, um, goodnight. Alex will be here in the morning and I should be home around 5." The two girls stood in a silence for a few seconds. Ignoring the unfamiliarity of the situation, Alice finally stepped forward and hugged the older girl. A bit surprised, Jo took a second before returning the gesture. From what Alex had told her, she hadn't expected Alice to be this comfortable around her.
"Goodnight." Alice said finally, pulling away from the hug. Jo offered her a small smile and nodded before the two of them went their separate ways.
Alice entered her old bedroom and quickly shut the door behind her. Her stomach twisted in a strange sensation of nostalgia as she surveyed the small room. Memories of her escapes with Chip made a quick appearance in her mind and she quickly shut them down. Alice hadn't expected to find the simple bedroom so intimidating. She had never thought of the amount of times she had laid on her very own bed, drugged out of her mind, ignoring Lexie knocking on her door. Or the amount of times she and the older girl had engaged in screaming matches until Callie or Arizona had to pull them apart. Shaking the thoughts from her mind, Alice made her way to her dresser, intending to throw some of her clothes into the drawers. When she opened the first one, she froze.
"Fuck." The teenager muttered, eyes locked on the small folded up baggie that poked out from under one of her abandoned t-shirts. Apparently, no one had decided to do a final sweep after she had left.
"It's just weed" the thought crossed her mind before she could stop it, and Alice couldn't help herself before she picked up the little plastic bag. Her piece was in its original spot as well, right beside the pot. And of course, her lighter rested undisturbed inside a pair of folded up grey socks.
"I guess it is just weed." Alice murmured to herself, taking the paraphernalia in her hands and shutting the door. The brunette crossed her room to the window on the other side and drew back the curtains. The sun had already set and she was surprised that she and Jo had talked that long. A pang of guilt hit her as she realized that she was about to relapse in the room next to the only family member she had left. Sadly, the guilt wasn't enough to keep her from opening the window and perching on the ledge. The smell that hit her when she opened the bag was enough to make her mouth water and her hands worked expertly to quickly pack a bowl. After a moment's hesitation, Alice lifted the small piece of glass to her mouth, flicked the lighter to life, and inhaled.