Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Steve Moffat, Mark Gatiss own Sherlock and his realm. I just own my computer,my version of Openoffice, and my sick fantasies. English is not my native language, and this story is un-betaed, so please forgive the mistakes and the typos.

My take on Molly's possible reaction when she will discover about Sherlock's relapse...

"Through your failures and success

Through your losses and gains

I didn't see much happiness or pain

I couldn't save your soul

I couldn't even take you home

I couldn't fill that hole

Alone"

"Alone" - Depeche Mode

"You may leave any time you like." Seven simple words. Heavy, like her disappointment; cutting, like the shame carving the heart he was not supposed to have. A part of him resented her bitterness. She should have known, what kind of man he was. She should have been prepared: weren't the insults, the harsh words, not enough? And after all, wasn't she the one who could see him, the real man behind the façade that was Sherlock Holmes?

He had lied to hear, mistreated her, for many years; she had not left his side once. Not even when he suggested that he was not the knight in the shining armour she wanted him to be.

"If I wasn't everything that you think I am - everything that I think I am - would you still want to help me?" She had not hesitated; she had put her career, her own life, in danger, without asking nothing else in return. Well, he believed that she had done it all unselfishly, at the moment; but after his return, he finally understood his mistake.

She wanted something in return; or, to put it better, she deserved something. Not his respect for her abilities as a pathologist; not his affection as a friend. No, she deserved more. She deserved his unconditional trust, and he had failed her.

"I've always trusted you", he said that night, before his "death", and then, when he could prove it to her, again, he decided to run towards the comforting shelter that drugs always provided, instead of asking for his friends' help. In her opinion, his actions showed her that she was not enough; all the times she had risked her job, her reputation, even her sanity, by staying by his side, counted less than narcotics.

She was wrong, of course. He was not an addicted, just a user. He knew when to stop, and yet… When the guilt, the desperation fell on his shoulders, drugs seemed to be the only possible solution.

The anger, the disappointment… They were transitory. The way he had hurt her, by favouring drugs over the ones who loved him, it seemed to be a permanent wound in their relationship.

He just needed to save the world once again, and then he would be ready for one of the most demanding challenge of his life: regaining Molly Hooper's trust, and a place in her life. It was only a question of time.

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