"Shit." Alice mumbled the second her eyes opened. The bright LA sunshine that she had grown to love was now blinding her harshly from the window. Headache already brewing, the teenager stumbled out of bed and pulled her curtains shut. Once the blinding sunlight was no longer an issue, Alice found herself battling a sudden wave of nausea. The teenager raced towards the bathroom and made it to the toilet just in time to throw up without a mess.
"Morning." Just as she finished gagging, Alice heard Amelia's voice from behind her. Before she could even respond, another wave of sickness hit her and she crouched over the porcelain bowl again. Coughing weakly, she managed to resist shrugging off Amelia's hand on her back.
"I think I'm done." The brunette mumbled. She got to her feet unsteadily and moved to the sink to rinse her mouth out. Amelia stood in the doorway and watched as Alice brushed her teeth tiredly. The teenager looked rough to say the least; with dark circles under her eyes that contrasted sharply with her pale skin. The two of them remained silent until Alice brushed past her to exit the bathroom.
"Hey, come on, don't do the silent treatment thing. We can talk about this. You know Addie and I are completely on your side." The surgeon pointed out, following Alice back into the bedroom and then into the hallway.
"I'm not doing the silent treatment thing. I'm just tired and I don't really know what to say." Alice shot back. She made her way into the kitchen, where Addison was predictably working. The redhead jumped up from the counter immediately and went to the oven. Pulling out a hot plate, she set it at her place on the counter and gestured towards it.
"I've been keeping your breakfast warm until you woke up. I know you probably feel sick, but you need to eat." Addison's tone left no room for argument and Alice reluctantly sat down at one of the stools.
"Do you want coffee?" Amelia asked as she poured herself a mug. The drained teenager nodded as she forced down a bite of eggs and shot Amelia a grateful glance as she handed her a mug.
"I'm really, really sorry about last night. I don't really remember a lot of it very well, but I know enough to apologize." Alice's voice was quiet and her eyes downcast. The two older women could tell she was already beating herself up for the relapse and exchanged a quick glance.
"Alice, don't apologize. You screwed up and now you just need to move on from it. We'll help you." Addison took a seat at the stool next to the teenager and caught her gaze. Though her cheeks burnt red, Alice nodded and seemed to accept the advice.
"You said last night that you wanted to call Jo; is now a good time or do you want to hold off? Alex says she doesn't have to go in for about an hour." Amelia had already taken the liberty of calling Karev in order to give him a heads up, as well as to check Jo's schedule. Though she suspected Alice might chicken out when morning came, she still wanted Alice to have the option to get it over with.
"I'll just do it now." She sighed, hoping up from the counter. Taking her coffee along, Alice walked out of the kitchen and out the sliding glass doors. The salty smell of the ocean hit her as the wind blew and she breathed in for a few seconds, grateful for the fresh air. Despite the bundle of nerves in her already sensitive stomach, Alice dialed her sister's number and held the phone to her ear.
"Hey! What's up?" Alice grimaced at her sister's voice and bit her bottom lip. Jo sounded excited to talk to her and now she was going to ruin it.
"I need to tell you something and I need you not to get mad and freak out." She blurted out. A surprised silence followed for just a few seconds before Jo apparently recovered from Alice's sudden request.
"Okay, I promise."
"I had a really bad relapse last night. I snuck out and went to a party and I swear I didn't plan on anything past drinking but I got caught up in everything and it just happened. Addison and Amelia caught me when I got home, but Lexie doesn't know yet. Please don't tell her. I promise I will and I promise I'm still trying as hard as I can." Alice stammered. When Jo didn't reply in a matter of two seconds, she felt her heart rate spike.
"Please say something." The teenager begged. Finally, Jo broke out of her stupor on the other end of the line and spoke.
"Alice, woah, relax. I'm not mad at you. I know you're still trying. This is a part of recovery, right? It's not just one easy road. It's okay." The older girl coached. She could practically feel her sister's relief as Alice sighed.
"Thank you. I'm sorry." The teenager's voice came out slower and smoother; a sign that she was pulling herself together again.
"You don't have to thank me and you don't have to apologize. I want to be here for you. The next time you feel like you're going to slip up, please just call me. We can talk it out." Alice froze for a second, processing the older girl's offer. She knew very well that when she got into a state where she wanted to use, it was a hell of a task to talk her out of it. Maybe Jo didn't realize exactly what she was getting herself into. Then again, she had made it very clear that she did want to be here for this, and who was Alice to turn her away? It's not like she had a ton of people in her corner.
"Okay. Okay, I will. Thank you." Alice responded finally.
"Okay. You good now?" Jo asked, more to reassure herself. She had sensed the hesitation in her sister's voice.
"Yeah, I'm good. I'll talk to you later."
"Alright. Bye." Alice hung up after she heard the line go dead and turned back towards the beach house. She could see Amelia and Addison watching her from the kitchen and suppressed an eye-roll at their vigilance.
"She was cool about it." Alice mumbled before the two in the kitchen had a chance to speak. "Well, she obviously wasn't happy- no one is- but she understood, and took it well." The teen clarified as she took her seat back at the breakfast bar. Amelia joined her, she too nursing a large mug of coffee. Alice poked at her still warm food, willing her stomach to cease its efforts to start WWIII.
"I… I just," the teen started to say something but stopped herself short, seemingly trying to find the right words. Addison, taking a read on the situation, quietly vanished from the kitchen to allow the teen the privacy that she needed to feel comfortable to talk. Amelia waited patiently, watching Alice spear a sweet potato cube with her fork and pop it into her mouth to buy herself some time. "I wanted to fit in. I know, it's a horrendous teenage cliché, but settling in at a school where everyone has already been together for three years is no easy feat, not including doing so while also trying to get my life together a bit," she paused, firing another bite of egg down as the surgeon nodded. "So when Chelsea asked me to go to the party, I couldn't pass it up. She's really good friends with everyone, and I would be that weird, anti-social new girl if I declined an invite to one of the school's most notorious parties. So, I went. I assumed that Elle would be going, but it wasn't until after I had agreed that I found out she wasn't. Says she's not the party type. I swear that I didn't mean to get wasted like that, it was really only going to be a couple of drinks, to be social. I have a hard time with crowds, and new people, so crowds of new people would have been pushing it. I took the first drink so that I could chill out and make some closer friends, and someone just kept topping me up. I was too wrapped up in talking to keep track of how much or how fast I was drinking, and before I knew it I was fucked." The teen, who had been looking at Amelia while she was talking to her, suddenly broke eye contact and looked away, ashamed. "Someone brought out a bag of Oxy and I was done for. I don't think I could have said no even if I had tried- not with how drunk I was anyways." Amelia's neutral expression softened as the teen's eyes glistened with tears she was desperately trying to leave unshed, her teeth sinking into her trembling lower lip to try and stop it.
"Alice, it's okay. Slip-ups happen during recovery. I'm not angry, and I'm not disappointed- neither is Addie. Are we ticked that you snuck out? Yeah, but it's a teenager thing and I wouldn't put it past us to have snuck out plenty of times in our day. Don't beat yourself up over this. It was a bad decision, but you're not a bad person." Alice remained silent, barely shrugging her shoulders in response. The pretty brunette reached out, clasping her hand over Alice's wrist to grab her attention. When she finally looked up, Amelia could see the doubt in her eyes.
"I want you to tell me that you heard what I said, and that you understand." She said firmly, but not unkindly.
"Ok." The teen's voice was rough with emotion. The surgeon raised an eyebrow, unconvinced. "Yeah, I understand." Alice tried again, her voice stronger this time. Satisfied, Amelia nodded and took her hand back.
Alice exhaled loudly, considering the evening ahead. Amelia was spending the night at the hospital, wrapped up in an emergency surgery, and she was currently too embarrassed to call up Elle to hang out. Though Elle certainly wasn't her only friend from school, the last thing Alice wanted was to expose herself to more trouble by being alone with any of the wild LA teens at night. This left her with only one option- an evening alone with Addison.
Alice flipped the lid of her MacBook shut and made her way out into the hall, pausing to listen for where her older companion might be. Following the sound of flirtatious conversation, the teen found the surgeon sitting cross-legged atop her bed, laughing at whatever the person on the other line was saying. Noticing Alice's presence, Addison quickly wrapped up on the phone and smiled at the teen, almost sheepishly.
"That was Jake... about work stuff." She covered for herself, trying to keep their quasi-secret relationship under wraps.
"Right. You and Jake are no more of a couple than I am a drug addict." She deadpanned, dodging the throw pillow that the redhead threw her way. Alice laughed good-naturedly, and soon Addie couldn't help but join in. Eventually, their laughter quieted down.
"Soooo..." Alice started awkwardly.
"Just you and me tonight, what do you feel up to doing?" The surgeon intervened swiftly. Alice shrugged and chewed her lip, trying to come up with an idea.
"Oooh, I know! Why don't we walk to the pier and do grab supper at a diner there?" The sassy teen suggested. It would help to fill some time in the long night ahead, and neither of them would pass up a chance to spend some time on the sandy shorelines. Addison lit up at the suggestion, nodding enthusiastically.
"Sounds great- give me five minutes to get changed and we'll head out?" The teen smiled in approval, and vanished from the room to get ready herself.
A short while later, the two met up at the sliding glass door and trekked to the beach. Alice kicked off her strappy sandals and drifted to walk in the surf. Addison mirrored her, and for a few minutes the two walked in silence.
"You know, you seem to be pretty well informed on all things Alice's life and yet I hardly know anything about you." The teen mused, looking up in time to catch the surprised look on the neonatal surgeon's face.
"Well, I met Derek in med school- as well has a handful of people from what is now the practice. It was one of those near-instant things, him and I." She smiles wistfully, reflecting on their young love. "When we graduated, we both opened our own practices in New York. That's where things started to unravel- long hours, work stress, it started to take its toll. The kicker was when I cheated on Derek with Mark." The redhead chewed her lip at the admission. She opened her mouth to continue her story but cut herself off as she gestured to the line of quaint restaurants that they had just arrived at. "Take your pick," she offered with a smile.
The brunette steered them towards a small blue building fondly known by the locals as simply "Angie's." They had lucked out and came during a lull, having no trouble being seated. Alice, who was dying to hear the rest of the surgeon's tale, was instantly cut off by the easy tenor of their young waiter. Her eyes widened in recognition as she took in his familiar face.
"Hi, I'm Chase. I'll be taking care of you guys tonight. Can I offer you a drink- our Strawberry Daiquiri is the evening feature," he looked at Addison as he spoke.
"A glass of white please- Pinot Grigio, if you have." The surgeon replied smoothly.
"And for you, Seattle?" Chase asked with a playful wink.
"J… just a Diet Coke thanks." Alice stammered. He nodded and set off for the kitchen, leaving Addison to pepper Alice with questions.
"And who might that be?" She asked playfully, grinning like a Cheshire cat at the teen's rosy felt relief wash over her as the surgeon misinterpreted her nerves as a crush rather than their true origins- as soon as she laid eyes on him she had recognized him as the Oxy dealer from that awful party, and the observation was clearly mutual.
"Just someone from school." She mumbled. "So, Derek caught you with Mark," the teen cleverly took the heat off of her and tossed it back at the surgeon whose amusement faded instantly.
"Erm, yes. As you might imagine, he didn't take it very well. He took off for Seattle, and that's how he ended up working at Seattle Grace. I made it clear to Mark that this was a one-time mistake, and followed Derek. We worked through it, for a bit, but it was never going to be our happy-ever-after. He was head over heels for Meredith, and as much as it killed me at the time to admit it, he never looked at me the way he did at her. Why bother fighting for something that you both know isn't right?" The rhetoric made Alice nod thoughtfully. "Once we ended things, for good, I came to LA- for Naomi, actually. I had decided to start a family of my own, and she is a fertility specialist. The pregnancy didn't work out, but the practice did. I stayed as the practice OB-GYN for a few years, and then helped to take it over when Nay had some financial troubles. As it turns out, I took over as the director of the practice. We had our differences, mostly over Sam and I being a couple, but we patched things over. She is actually in New York now herself, with family." Chase, who has come to take their orders, again interrupted their conversation.
"New girl first?" He winks at Alice, who struggles to keep from cringing at the familiarity of the phrase.
"Fish tacos- grilled, please." She manages to say smoothly. He scrawled something down on his notepad, before looking expectantly at Addison.
"I'll have the same, thanks." He nodded and stuffed his book in his pocket.
"You bet, should be about 15 minutes." He smiled politely, leaving them alone again.
"So, be honest, how much convincing did it take before you guys agreed to take in a teenager with substance abuse issues and a cocktail of other disorders?" Alice asked once their less than desired waiter started back towards the kitchen. The redhead rolled her eyes at the obviously insecure question before responding.
"On Amy's behalf? None. Derek explained the situation and she was on board immediately. Lexie was actually the one who talked to me about it and I figured having a new face around the house would be good for Amelia. And you have been good for her, you know." The neonatal surgeon pointed out. Alice rolled her eyes almost immediately. "I'm serious," Addison continued. "I've never seen her this responsible. You're keeping her in check whether you realize it or not. And I think it makes her feel better to have someone she doesn't work with to talk about addiction with."
"Who does she talk about this with at the practice? I mean, other than you?"
"Well, Charlotte's the only other one really." Alice frowned in confusion and Addison froze when she realized that Alice hadn't heard about Charlotte yet.
"Charlotte? Why her? She's certainly not the first person I'd come running to with my biggest insecurity." The teenager scoffed. Addison quickly recovered herself and shook her head.
"You may want to try talking to her the next time you come in with us. She might surprise you." Alice shrugged, storing the idea for later contemplation. The blonde woman certainly intimidated her, no doubt about that, but she also seemed wise and her Southern drawl portrayed a sort of implied warmth.
"You should seriously get that waiter's number. He keeps looking over here." Addison grinned, changing the subject in order to keep from accidentally spilling any of her colleague's secrets. Alice tensed immediately and glanced towards the kitchen window, where the server was waiting.
"He's not really my type." Alice replied quickly. Her cheeks began to flush red and she knew Addison was going to misinterpret it before she even opened her mouth.
"Oh please, you're turning a darker shade of red every time he looks at you-"
"He was at that party, Addison. He was the one with the Oxy. He saw me get fucked up and that's why he's smirking and winking and acting like a complete tool." Alice blurted out in a hushed whisper. Addison's eyebrows rose and she quickly blinked away surprise before glancing back at the boy. The redhead found a sudden distaste for the boy and turned her attention back to Alice.
"We can get the food to go if he's making you uncomfortable." She offered. Alice lifted her downcast eyes and took the escape gratefully. The moment she nodded, Addison snapped her fingers towards the waiter and the two were on their way as soon as their orders were ready.
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