Happy Fairy Tail Friday guys! This chapter was spurred by all of your reviews, but also to Orderinchaos, who begged me to update this ASAP and reminded me that it has literally been months since you have seen a new chapter.

Disclaimer: I don't own Fairy Tail, just the laptop that I'm writing on.

"God," Natsu groaned, "what the hell are you doing to me, Luce?"

"You know you like it, Natsu," Lucy giggled in the cutest, but most devious way possible. Her pink haired companion sighed in defeat, allowing her to continue combing her fingers through his hair. There were jealous stares projected at them from all corners of the room, piercing Natsu from every angle. It's not like he cared about the other "guest's" feelings, but it was annoying to say the least. Lucy, always ignorant to her surroundings when drunk, continued humming a happy tune while she played with Natsu's hair. He had to admit, she wasn't wrong; her soft hands were gently working through the knots in his hair, probably the first time it's been brushed in years, and combined with the familiar tune she was humming, Natsu was placed in a serene state of calm. He briefly wondered how he had gotten into this situation...

(OMG A FLASHBACK!)

Natsu ran into the House, still dazed from the scene he witnessed outside. Happy flew in ahead of him, leading the way to the blonde who was, apparently, "acting really weird." In his opinion, Lucy was always acting weird, especially when it comes to her obsession with bacon, but the words still scared him all the same. As he weaved between the crowd of grabbing hands, he began to hear a small commotion taking place. Instantly, he started to pray that he was not about to find his blonde friend in the middle of it, but come on. This is Natsu's life we're talking about here.

Of course he would break through the last throng of people, only to stumble upon Loke and Cana giving Lucy a glass of what he expected to be alcohol. The blonde slurped the drink and slammed the glass on the counter, causing the small group around her to give a little cheer. Well, all but one woman, who lurched forward and barfed all over a table, which a certain cat was sleeping on.

"What is this girl?" One guy laughed. Natsu groaned and started forward to save his friend from further embarrassment; however, his blonde had other plans. She sauntered up to the random guy, cocked her hip and gave him a blinding smile.

Why did he feel like he has seen this scene before?

"Hello, I'm a thief," she placed her hand on his chest, right above his heart, "and I'm here to steal your heart." She smiled even wider, and the guy placed his hand over hers. Natsu frowned, strangely disturbed at the contact. Maybe because he was very protective of her, or maybe he was just weird. Either way, he pushed his way between the two, heating up one of his hands to singe his hand print on the clown's shirt. With a look that could probably make Gray piss himself, the guy melted into the crowd.

"What. Happened?" He asked Loke, making the man shrink a little.

"Well, she was a little uptight, so I figured it would be more beneficial if she loosened up a bit." He shrugged, but paused at Natsu's expression. "What?"

"You have created a monster, " He groaned. Loke gave him a weird look as he grabbed his coat and started to walk away. Cana drunkenly called goodbye, which caught Lucy's attention. Before sheh can latch onto him in a bear hug, he smartly shoved Natsu in front of him and parted with one word. "Practice."

Lucy smiled sweetly, staring at Natsu before she attacked.

(Aw, it's over already?)

And that is how he had gotten into this situation. Lucy had become quickly enamored with his hair, and so he was forced to sit on the ground with his head in her lap. Why is it that he isn't as bothered about this situation as he should be?

"You're drunk," He stated simply, tilting his head back to rest on her knees. He looked up at the dazed blonde as her hands stopped moving. She squinted her eyes as she stared at him, humming something that sounded like "jiiiiiiiiiiiiii."

"Ne, Natsu?" She moved her hands on either side of his face, providing a pleasant coolness to his usually hot skin. "Are you religious?"

Natsu blinked owlishly at her random question. It wasn't like he didn't know the answer; he had lost his faith long ago. It slipped in between the cushions of the couches in the house while he was forced to pay more attention to random women that he didn't know. But, this was just a random time to be asking him about faith.

"No, why?" He asked. His words sounded weird because she was still making his face look like a puff fish.

"'Cause you're the answer to my prayers," she smiled widely, giggling at Natsu's expression.

"What has Loke done to you?" He groaned, both at her corny pick up line and at himself for taking her seriously while she was under the influence of Cana's drink of choice. Lucy snapped back to a serious face and leaned in closer, providing Natsu with a nice view of her cleavage. Feeling plenty embarrassed for the both of them, Natsu decided that it would be best if he escaped while he still could. He let out a small "gah!" as he rolled off to the side and fell to the floor.

"The real question is: What will you do to me?" She looked down at him and fluttered her eyelashes in what was supposed to be a seductive way, but what really looked like she had something stuck in her eyes. Oh, she still had much to learn. Maybe he should make her watch Mean Girls or something. But then again, the next time she gets drunk, she'll probably try to push Regina George in front of a bus or something, so maybe not.

"Okay, time for Lucy to go home!" Natsu hopped up and scooped the blonde up in his arms, bridal style. He carried the giggling girl over to her drinking buddy Cana, who was dunking Happy in a bucket of water with a small, sadistic smile decorating her face. She took out the cat, who was gasping for air and shivering from the frigid water, and pressed her nose against his fur.

"Most of the barf is out, but he still smells like a rat's ass," she gave the emotionally disturbed feline back to his owner. Happy shivered and gave Natsu a begging glance. With a smirk and a chuckle, Natsu obliged, letting a warm heat blow through the cat's fur to make it dry instantly. Before Cana could dunk him in the water again, Happy flew out of the room and into the sweet freedom of outside.

"I'm sorry, Natsu," The girl who barfed on Happy apologized. She looked pretty disturbed as she looked back and forth between Natsu's bored face, the door and her ridiculously high heels. He briefly wondered how fast she could run in those; by her decision to stand her ground, he would say not very far.

"It's okay," he smiled reassuringly. She smiled back, though her eyes looked guarded as she noticed Lucy sitting comfortably in Natsu's arms. Lucy, being the strange drunk that she is, wiggled her fingers as a small hello and rolled out of Natsu's arms and into Cana's lap.

"Hi Lucy," Cana cooed, squishing her in a hug.

"Cana-chan, can I have more juice?" Lucy asked, reaching for a cup in Cana's hands.

"NO!" Natsu cried, tackling the drunkard and effectively knocking the brimming cup of beer from her hand. The cup splashed to the floor and speckled a woman's light pink dress with brown spots.

"UGH!" She screamed, "THIS WAS EXPENSIVE!" The woman, an unforgiving brunette with what looked like to be spikey pigtails on either side of her head (which made him briefly wonder what kind of hair products she invested in), overlooked Natsu and Cana, instead zeroing in her gaze onto Lucy.

"You," she hissed, taking a step further. "You are going to pay for this." Lucy looked up with an annoyed frown on her face.

"It's not my fault," she huffed, crossing her arms in defiance.

"Of course it is!" her adversary sneered, "You were jealous of my dress so you threw the cup at me!"

"No I didn't," Lucy frowned even more at the accusation. She had never liked to be blamed for doing something that she never did. Happy once tried to blame her for temporarily dying Natsu's scarf pink; that was the day that the cat almost lost his 9 lives. Luckily for the feline, Natsu distracted her with a quill, ink and a piece of bacon.

"Yes, you did!" The she-bat screeched. Natsu army crawled to Lucy's feet and prepared to hop up and run, in case this ended badly. However, his efforts were a waste: Lucy did the complete opposite that he thought she would do.

"Bite me!" She cried, running towards her enemy. The woman screeched and tried to move back, but she tripped over her heels and landed in a questionable substance. The room went quiet, with hushed whispers spreading like wildfire.

"FIGHT!" Someone yelled, like the House was a high school cafeteria. The crowd pushed in closer and closer, as if they were trying to push the girls towards each other. Secretly, Natsu would love to just leave Lucy alone and see what damage the girl can do, since she was way stronger than anyone would think, but he figured that getting her in a fight at his workplace wasn't that smart of an idea. He crawled his way over to the girl and grabbed a hold of her feet.

"What is going on here?" A deep voice called out. All heads swiveled towards the entrance, where a tall and imposing man stood with a palace uniform and handcuffs. There were gasps all around as people retraced their steps to press towards the walls to give the man more space. The guard looked around with a formidable gaze, which, of course, automatically locked onto Natsu and Lucy. His eyes narrowed as he took in the drunken blonde with an uncoiled whip in her hands and the pink haired idiot clutching onto her ankles.

"Get up, boy," he snapped. Natsu complied, since he was smarter than your normal imbecile and knew that messing with this guy would mean trouble. He tugged on his companion's wrist and pulled her to stand behind him. The guard, however, had already moved his eyes off of the pair.

"I'm looking for Jose Porla, Hades Grim and Bob Pegala," he declared, eyes scanning the crowd. Questions started to arise from his audience as the respective masters of the House walked out from their offices. Jose and Hades both emerged with a sour look on their faces, grumbling something about wages and interruptions, while Bob lightly skipped out of his office with a smile on his face. The guard zeroed in on his quarry and took out an official looking scroll.

"Jose Porla, Hades Grim and Bob Pegala, you are hereby put under arrest for treasonous actions against his Majesty. If you do not come with me, I have the right to kill you on the spot, as ordered by King Arthur, King of Fiore," he looked up, put away the scroll and took out his handcuffs. "Will you resist?"

"No sir," Bob replied smoothly, "We would never resist orders of the king. Though, if I may ask, can I tell my workers something?" He fluttered his eyelashes, knowing full well that it would creep the guard out so that he would say yes.

"Eh, sure," The man scooted a few feet away from him. Bob smiled to himself, turning to the crowd with his characteristic grin.

"Follow the Fairies' light," he said simply. The guard frowned, probably trying to figure out what he meant exactly, and grabbed Bob by the arm. He led the handcuffed men out the door, barking orders to an unseen army unit outside. The crowd stayed silent, in awe of what just occurred. Sure, Jose and Hades were pretty shady people, but Bob was innocent. Why would the government arrest him for treason? And what did that have to do with Fairy Tail?

"Do you know-?"

"No, but I bet-"

"WHO CARES? WHAT ABOUT MY REN TIME?"

"Okay folks," Cana yelled from her spot on the floor, instantly silencing the whispers that shot across the room like lightning, "Show's over. The House of Aces is closed."

There was a collective disappointed "aw, shit" as the crowd filed out of the door. The workers followed them out with worried looks on their faces, wondering when they would be able to work again to pay rent. Cana grabbed a barrel of beer and patted Natsu's arm on her way out. "Go see Gramps," she hiccuped, "he'll know what's going on." Natsu nodded and reached over to grab his blonde companion, only to catch air. From a distant corner, he could hear the sound of a very sick someone.

"Have fun!" Cana laughed. Natsu growled and saw Happy flying around outside, laughing with her.

Traitors.

"Do we even have a Plan Z?" Levy groaned, letting her head drop towards the table in defeat. Gajeel frowned and quickly stuck out his arm to cushion the fall. He felt her lips curl into a smile, probably thankful that she landed on skin (though his plethora of piercings weren't all that comfortable) than on the hard metal table. The last time that happened, her nose was bruised for a week and Gajeel cracked up every time he saw her face.

"I dunno, I leave all the plans to you, Shrimp," he answered, watching her eye brows scrunch angrily at her new nickname. He allowed a small smirk to settle on his face.

"Stop calling me Shrimp," the girl huffed, sitting up and crossing her arms with a glare. He chucked at her ridiculous attempt at looking imposing. To further annoy her, he sat up and copied her stance, looking ten times more terrifying as he towered over her than she ever could. Well, except when there is a book involved. Then she becomes a horrible demon that he would NOT mess with.

"Whatever, Shrimp."

"I'm not that short!" She insisted, waving her hands around like the crazy woman they both knew she was, but she tried to deny.

"Yeah, and I only have a couple of piercings," he countered.

"...We need a plan," Levy changed the subject, realizing that there was no winning this battle. Her eyes glanced to the side, ever watchful for a certain duo that was harder to shake than Gajeel originally thought. He was so close to literally slapping some sense into the two men and leaving it at that.

"Hey, can I just-"

"No, you can't use violence," Levy cut his perfect plan to pieces.

"C'mon, one-"

"No."

"But-"

"I swear to god Gajeel, I will hurt you."

"Fine, what's your plan?" Gajeel growled, sitting back and watching her think. Though he wouldn't tell anyone this, not even his beloved cat Pantherlily, he loved to watch Levy think. It was something about her expression: her face scrunched up and her nose would wiggle from time to time, and her eyes were both distant and focused at the same time. It was the most interesting thing to watch, and when she actually figured something out, the most peculiar grin would overtake her face. It was like TV, but with a really cute girl.

Wait, cute? Scratch that. Remove. From. Memory.

"Frankly, the only thing we can do now is get married," she sighed after a couple of minutes. The words didn't quite register in Gajeel's mind until he watched the usual grin start to appear on her face.

"No way, I ain't getting married," he waved his arms, like he could dissipate the idea from the air. Levy ignored his protests, rolling her eyes and casting a glance to the far corner of the cafe they were sitting in. The Targets must have arrived.

"Oh shut up," she whispered, rolling her eyes, "It'll be fake. I'll get Lu-chan or Mira to do it-"

"Mira will not know of this," Gajeel hissed. Levy gave him a weird look, probably wondering how he knew her matchmaking friend, but decided against asking. Levy had learned to just take what Gajeel gave her and roll with it.

"Okay then. We go through the motions until they finally give up, and then live like it never happened!" She pointed to the ground, "Now, pretend you have a ring and propose to me," her eyes narrowed and a small smirk appeared on her face, "unless, you know, you want to break the deal."

Oh hell no, this was a direct challenge.

"Fine," Gajeel grumbled. Muttering a thousand curses under his breath, he grabbed a metal spoon out of Levy's coffee and fashioned it into a ring. Her eyes widened, probably since she had no idea that he could use magic, which was perfect as he kneeled on the ground. There was a shush over the customers, and a group of women gasped as he took her hand in his. On the outside, Gajeel wore a fake smile; on the inside, he was about to be sick from the feelyness of the situation he was in.

"Levy..." he struggled to remember her last name, but his search turned up blank, "Levy. Will you marry me?"

Levy paused dramatically. There was a collective intake of breath as everyone waited for her answer.

"Yes!" She smiled, tears (he had to admit, that was a nice touch) streaming down her face as she threw her tiny arms around his neck. Almost everyone in the room politely applauded and said congratulations, but Gajeel distinctively heard two heads hit the metal tables. He smirked into her hair.

"Kiss her, man!" Some hopeless romantic yelled from the crowd. Some started to chant, and the two could only look at each other with disguised panic; this was an unexpected development. Levy blushed, and though Gajeel would never admit it to anyone (save his cat, and that is only maybe), his face heated up a bit too.

Or maybe, it was the heat from the laser gaze shot from the two desperate men behind him. After all, if the 'couple' couldn't kiss now, then their engagement would be revealed as a scam.

Gajeel cursed under his breath.

Levy leaned across the table as much as she could.

He leaned in to meet her. The crowd was going wild, like this was some football game or something. They both wondered if these people had lives.

"FREEZE!" A high voice boomed. Cheers cut abruptly as everyone soundlessly swiveled to find the person who the voice belonged to. Gajeel heard heels clicking ominously against the tiled floor, and upon closer inspection he saw a woman in a royal guard uniform sauntering into the middle of the room. She cast a searching gaze over the crowd, a look that was very familiar to the iron dragonslayer. He instinctively slid lower in his seat as her eyes scanned over him and suppressed the urge to yell "I DIDN'T DO IT!" The woman tossed her silver hair over one shoulder, annoyed that she didn't find what she was looking for.

"Where is the owner of this establishment?" She asked, tapped her foot as she waited for an answer. A waiter straightened and went into the back, returning with the old woman who ran the cafe. Her eyes squinted at the officer, and her hands swirled around and around in continuous circles.

"Why did you disturb me?" She snapped. The guard raised her eyebrows at the old woman's apparent grumpiness. She held out her hand and a second guard placed a scroll on it. Delicately, she unrolled the scroll and cleared her voice.

"Oba Babaasama," She started in a monotone voice, "you are hereby put under arrest for treasonous actions against his Majesty. If you do not come with me, I have the right to kill you on the spot, as ordered by King Arthur, King of Fiore," a more sinister smile took over her face as she looked up and pierce the old woman with and icy stare, "Will you resist?" She sounded excited at the notion, flipping her white hair over her shoulder and resting her hand on her weapon.

"No," Oba Babaasama sighed, "I will not." She turned to her wait staff, as if silently asking a question. They all nodded, and a little smile came over her face. The guard frowned, obviously annoyed that she didn't know happened, but decided to ignore it. Her henchmen brought out a pair of handcuffs and led the old women out of her own cafe. The crowd just stared at her departure, obviously dumbstruck by the events that had just taken place. Levy grabbed Gajeel's arm and towed him out of the business before they were noticed. He looked from their conjoined hands to her face, which was housing the same strange thinking expression that he liked to watch so much.

"Ne, Gajeel," she started slowly, "wasn't Oba Babaasama a guild master?"

Erza's mind was reeling. Somehow, she had to figure out who was threatening the king, save him, and defeat an impending disaster from a bunch of gang thugs. She knew that this was all connected, but she had no. Idea. How.

"What the hell?" She hissed to herself as people on all sides of her either dove to the side to avoid her black aura or cowered in total fear until she passed them. She probably forced about five small children to start to cry, not that she cared: this whole messed up mystery she stumbled into? That she cared about.

"Laxus is up to something that involves the gangs, which is going to commence in about a week and this somehow connects with the king and a list of people who are going to be charged with treason. How does this connect?" She realized that mumbling to herself was a problem, but it was a problem she was going to have to solve another day. "HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS CONNECT?" She screamed abruptly, knocking everyone in a five foot radius to the ground.

"Get some help!" A brave soul yelled. She was about to turn around and impale her sword in the man's body when something more eye catching happened. Now, the place where Erza had been walking out of the downtown area, past the changing point and into the more pretty part, where cute, little boutiques lined the street in a nice, pastel colored rainbow. That changing point was a popular bar called Cuatro Puppy, owned by a strange man named Goldmine. Erza had been to the bar on many occasions, and had always managed to have lots of fun (though most of that fun involved destruction of property) and knew that it was a good, honest place.

So, the question is: why is Goldmine being led out in handcuffs right now?

At this sight Erza snapped out of her surprise and ran over to the bar entrance, where Goldmine's employees were watching their boss being lead away with agitated stares. One of them was a bartender named Baccus, who she used to spar with when the name "Titania Erza" first started to float around. He was leaning against the doorjamb with a mug of booze in each hand. His eye twitched as one of the guards, an apologetic man who looked to be in his late thirties, paused to read Goldmine his Order of Arrest.

"Goldmine Wilde, you are hereby put under arrest for treasonous actions against his Majesty. If you do not come with me, I have the right to kill you on the spot, as ordered by King Arthur, King of Fiore," the guard winced at the thought of having to kill the popular bar owner. "Will you resist?"

The crowd leaned in to lead the man's answer, only because he hesitated. Erza caught his eye and he smirked a little bit before turning to the guard.

"Nah, that won't be necessary. But, before I go..." Goldmine turned towards Erza, ignoring all of his other employees. "When you visit the old man, tell him that we're on his side."

With that vague statement, which befuddled the guards to no end, judging by the confused expressions on their faces, Goldmine followed the guards to his (possible) doom. Erza scrunched her eyebrows, trying to make sense of what he was talking about. Who was the old man, and where could she find him? Why did he tell her, of all people?

"Ne, Erza," Baccus slurred, "You look stupid with that look on yer face. Don'tcha know who gramps is?"

She thought about it for a second before it all clicked into place. After this realization, Erza sped off faster than Baccus could swallow his second mug of beer. She ran through the thick crowds of people on the streets, past crazy people, including an especially creepy girl with a laptop in her hands, over the ridges in the street, not stopping until she came to a set of doors. She looked up at the sign, carved with the most well known name in the magic world. Stepping through the doors, she raised her voice to boom across the large room.

"WHERE IS MAKAROV?"

I really need to stop getting Lucy drunk...eh, oh well.

I am so sorry. Seriously guys, I never thought I would get this busy. The entire Thanksgiving break I was doing this history project, and then during my (very long) Christmas break I was doing a SOAPSTONE for English (read: paragraphs from hell). This chapter has been slowly accumulating on my laptop, so I decided that the chapter was long enough to compensate for my long period of absence. I also have the plan for the next chapter, which will (sorry!) be way shorter than what you guys are used to. But, after that, this story is going to be picking up! IT'S ALMOST OVER, SO BEAR WITH ME!

Seriously though, I'm going to attempt to stop doing this. But, no promises. You guys are so nice to me. I really don't deserve it.

So, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I tried to fit in some Nalu and Gale, but it won't really pick up until they have their next lesson, but I tried.

So, until next time! May you all be blessed with Bacon and Nalu!

~NeverMakesSense

PS. So, my fellow Americans. How did enjoy the Artic freeze?